Gender: Female
Age: 44
Member Since: May 3, 2004
Answers: 10
Last Update: May 4, 2004
Visitors: 2050
Main Categories:
Love Life
Parenting
View All
|
| |
I am a 31-year-old divorcee with a 4-year-old son. I also am charged with caring for my developmentally disabled 33-year-old brother, who has the mental capacity of 8-year-old. My son's father is moving next week, and taking my child with him. I will not see my son again until Christmas, and then after that not until April. I am devastated that the family courts here in Seattle have allowed this to happen (no, there's nothing wrong with me...my ex just won), and I am now at a loss as to how to handle this. I can't stop crying, I can't take the time off my new job to go to therapy, and I have to be careful falling apart at home because it scared my brother.
HELP? (link)
| |
I know this is a very difficult time and my heart goes out to you but you've got to start thinking about yourself now. You haven't totally lost your son as you obviously still have visitation rights. Now you're going to have to focus on making you as strong as you can be. Sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger because they don't know you and it's harder to judge. It's okay to cry when you're hurting but you have a reserved strength that you need to find a way to tap into. It's hard enough having to deal with a failed marriage but losing a child simply because some judge says that's the way it's going to be, I can't imagine your pain but if you need a ear to listen, I'm here . . . .
|
|
Every time my husband and I go anywhere with our 4-year old daughter, she wines and cries in the car, or babbles and sings constantly. Although I prefer the latter, sometimes I just want QUIET!There is no escape in a car, and sound echoes. I don't want to be forced to play kiddie music for her constantly either. How can I get her to behave? (link)
| |
Take an activities bag along that's right there in the back seat with her. Usually when children have something to do like color or a picture book, they tend to go into their own little world and are a little quieter. Teach her the quiet game but you have to make it fun! Make rewards for her being quieter while in the car. I have a 3 1/2 year old grand-daughter that likes to yell at me from the back seat and when I started bringing along things she liked as activities, the noise got much lessor. I can promise you it's going to stop all together but it will help.
|
|
I have a 3 year old daughter with an UNCONTROLIBLE temper and she slaped my friend in the face what should I do? (link)
| |
I've never been an advocate of sparing the rod and spoiling the child but it sounds like you need to get a handle on this situation before she gets any older. When she's acting out that way, first try talking to her (letting her know that her behavior is not exceptable), second; give her a time out for what she's done (letting her know that the next step you take will be to give her a spanking) and if all else fails, live up to your word (a little sting to her behind won't kill her). They say people without children are always trying to tell others how to raise their children. This isn't the case this time. I've raised two sons (grown now)that weren't always angels. There's nothing wrong with a little constructive fear in parenting. That's why God made us bigger . . . . :o)
|
|
my mother died a couple years ago and i feel like it's my fualt. as a child i didn't get a lot of attention from my friends so i kept wishing that someone in my family would die! and it happened and i regret everything i wished! is it my fualt my mom died? (link)
| |
Of course it's not your fault your mom died! Unless you were the one who literally took her life, it was no more your fault than mine! When we're young and our lives aren't the most ideal with it comes to family, we say and sometimes do things we really don't mean. There's a time for all of us to die and that's left up to one being and one being only. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but life and death is his decision and no amount of wishing is going to kill someone if it's not their time to die. I can't tell you how many times my own mother has wished me dead over the years but as you can see, I'm still here. Alive and writing you . . . . :p You can't change to past but you can move forward. Focus on the happy times you spent with your mother and I'm sure you'll realize just how much she's still with you.
|
|
I'm 24 and I recently got married. The problem is that my mother is horrible to me. She has always been. She refused to be involved with the wedding in anyway, she refuses to have contact with my kids because she says they are bad(how bad can a 4and 2 year old and a 10 month old be?), she hates my husband and says its his fault she won't come around. She does not "allow" me to talk to my 17 year old brother unless she is there. And she won't allow me to see my daughter that she conned me into letting her adopt. That's not how mothers are supposed to treat their children. She recently told me she doesn't want to see me anymore. Should I just cut her out of my life and let it be? (link)
| |
Do you love your husband? Is you marriage stable? Do you want a relationship with the daughter you allowed your mother to adopt? If you answered yes to all those questions, cutting your mother totally out of your life isn't an option. There are measures you can take to regain custody of your daughter as long as you can provide a stable and health environment for her to be raised. You mother doesn't have to like you or your choices as she's not the one who has to live with them. Her tactics are for control. Once you take that control away and let her know that you're a functioning capable adult that doesn't need her approval, she calm down a little. I can't promise you this will work but it's your life. It's up to you on how you want to live it. With or without her!
|
|
Should I tell him I snooped? And should I be suspicious? I have no reason to think he'd cheating, but still, I wonder... This #'s were in his contacts list. (link)
| |
I think the worse thing you can do is to tell him you snooped! I could backfire and he'll have every right to be upset with you if he found out. Then you'll have to explain in your defense why you did it? It all comes down to a matter of trust. Those two number could be there for any number of reasons. Could be work associates or work contacts. If you're worried that he might be cheating on you, do a little more investigating into his wherabouts when you're apart. Be smart because just when you think you have nothing to worry about, that's when you're the last to know!
|
|
i really need help losing weight, i am soo depressed. My favorite place is the bar and i wont go cause i dont look good in anything, and i wish one guy would just notice me and tell me that i was pretty but they always go for my friends cause there skinny and beautiful and then that hurts me and i always cry about it cause im not pretty enuf. lately i dont even wanna go anywhere unless im in my sweat pants and a large hoodie because i am way too fat!! no matter what i do i cant seem to keep to a strict diet, i try to work out but never have the time or i just get lazy. I need some motivation, and i wanna know the best way to lose weight fast. So does anyone know any good diets that i could try out???/ or any suggestions for me???? please help before i do alot of harm to myself (link)
| |
Hi Best Way . . . . . I've been in your shoes and there's no diet out there that's going to change the way you feel about yourself until you change to way you see and feel about YOU! You've got to learn to love yourself fist! Work on the inside before working on the out. Focus on your assets instead of your negatives. There are a number of diets out there that can help you lose the weight but how can you be fulfill when you're so unhappy on the inside? Men gravitate more towards women with a positive and confident attitude. Not all are interested in your being a size 6. Some of the most beautiful people are the most unattractive because of their attitudes. A size 6 doesn't make you beautiful! Self-assurance and a positive confident attitude can carry you a long ways in the dating market!
|
|
I have liked this guy for about 3 years.. we have been really great friends like my best friend in the whole world but everytime we go out i always end up getting hurt.. like when he "just wants to be friends" it makes me feel soo bad.. but i feel like life is not fun without him.. its sounds like the typical realtionship and i should just get over him but i cant and i dont know it i can or what i am supposed to do please help (link)
| |
Hi Same Guy . . . . Have you ever told this man your feelings? Sounds to me that you're in love with him and he doesn't even know it! He's seeing you as just a friend when you're needing more from him! He can't read your mind! Talk to him! Let him know what you're feeling! Life is taking risks and so are relationships. If he's such a great friend, he'll listen if you put your feelings out there! And, if all he wants is a friendship, then you're going to have to find some way to except it or continue to hurt! You've never know until you talk to him . . .
|
Hi advicenators (trys to smile)
I really could use some advice.
Its my friends, I am a very nice personI'm 14 a gurl I'm christain I have always been made fun not liked that well by my peers Myeber they'er jealuse I don't know why. well I happend to become friends with I thought my BFF and my other friends (anna-n-lana) that become friends with my BFF and snece they became friends with eachother I have faces thrown my way every time I see anna and lana. and everytime I talk with my BFF she won't believe a word I say and acts like I'm making everything I say up. I don't know why they don't like me. I have never been rude never fought them when they were wrong.
I will be honest that most adults really like me, and seem to favor me ( reason I dn't kknow why) I want to know why they don't like me. I try to be nice They'er always making lies about me and spreading them around. It really hurts and I don't know what to do.
please help.
signed,
hated friend (link)
|
Hi hated Friend . . .
These people that you call your bestfriends don't sound much like friends at all! And, why are you worried about how they view you anyway? Here's some advice you may not want to hear but I think you need to know. Maybe it's not your friends that are making you so unhappy? Maybe it's that you're not happy with the person you see in the mirror and need their approval to make you feel accepting or happy with yourself. If you're a good person and know you're a good person, then whatever they're saying about you will be proven wrong as others get to know the real you. Stop basing your worthiness to be a friend on that of what others think of you! You can't make someone like you! You can't make someone believe in you if you don't believe in yourself! My advice to you is to stop worrying so much about them and start caring more about you!
|
|
Hello, I may be pregnant with a seperated mans baby. Now I'm thinking of all the scenarios that could happen and need advice. I want what's in the best interested for my child. Now this man is technically still married and has a child with his wife, they all have the same lastname. If I had the child and was not married, is it wrong to give the child my lastname? What about child support issues? I'd never keep the baby from his dad, but what if the father denies this baby? I would want to put him on the birth certificate but what if he's not there, can he still be put on it? I live in the state of Pennsylvania. Please any advice would help. (link)
| |
I'm sure both of you were aware of the complications of having unprotected sex. The STD's and HIV/AIDS issues alone should have been enough to make both think twice but that's beside the point now that a pregnancy maybe be involved. My advice to you is to be honest and tell the father about your concerns, regardless of his marital status. You didn't make this baby alone and shouldn't shoulder the responsibility alone. Check with your human resource service (HRS) to find out what steps can be taken to secure support for the child if the father resists in excepting financial responsibility. You can't force him to be a part of the child's life but you can seek his financial assistance. It's not wrong to want your child to bare the father's last name but depending on the state's laws where you are, it may not be his choice in the matter. Check with the state's (paternity) laws before pressing the issue. Having a child alone is never an easy decision but the suffering can be minimized financially if both are participating toward the child's welfare. In otherwords, don't be the martyr for a situation you didn't create alone!
|
|