Hey, I had the same problem with public speaking throughout middle and high school, I even had to go to therapy. Anyways, here are some tips that my therapist taught me that really help:

1.Breath really slow deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth (this always relaxes my body, its amazing)

2.Picture yourself doing the whole presentation with confidence and ease. A lot of times we feel anxious because we think about what could go wrong, so we can feel better by reversing those thoughts.

3.Practce in front of the mirror (and even in front of your family) several times. The more you repeat it, the more it will become second nature and you'll feel more comfortable since you know it so well.

4. I your hands shake really bad (as did mine) and you have to hold a piece of paper you could put it on a clipboard or binder or something sturdy so that your shaking won't be as obvious. It always helped me feel better to know that even if I was shaking, no one would be able to tell.

5. I don't know if you will lose points for this but if you can, don't look directly at the audience. Look just over the heads at a wall or something so that it still looks like your looking at them. Sometimes looking at the audience directly can be intimidating.

Hopefully this will help, good luck!

Remember to pratice, pratice, pratice!

Jenny

I don't know if you've ever read the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but in the fourth book one of the characters realized she was over her ex when she forgot about him (stopped thinking about him everyday). I thought that was a good way to declare officially being over someone. I think you'll know when you're over him. It's not something that just suddenly hits you, but in time as you think less and less about him and finally after a while you'll be like wow, I actually liked that guy?

PS Sometimes a good cry helps. Or getting rid of pictures and any belongings that you have of his.

Good luck,
Jenny

You deserve more of an explanation. Tell him that you're not trying to accuse him of anything but you are his girlfriend and deserve to know the truth. Maybe he has a semi-decent reason for letting her sleep in the bed with him (didn't want to make her sleep on the floor, bed was big enough?) As long as all they did was share a bed (no touching of any sort)and you trust him then I wouldn't worry too much. You know him better than I do though, so trust your instincts.

Since you just got out of a long relationship, I think you should take it slow. It sounds like you are trying to rush things to make him happy, but maybe you're not quite ready to move at that pace. Sit down and have a talk with Wes explaining to him that you just got out of a bad relationship (if he doesn't already know)and that your ex has caused a lot of bad memories and it may take some time for them to heal. Assure him that it's not that you are comparing him with your ex but that you need to take it slow because you are learning/experiencing for the first time how to be in a healthy relationship with a guy you really like so it will take time.

Hopefully, he will understand. If he doesn't, then you deserve someone who will.

In the meantime, make new memories with Wes. Think of new places to go or things to do that your ex would have never done with you so that you will be less likely to have flashbacks of him. Like (this may seem corny but its just an idea to get you started) you could take a blanket outside one night and lie under the stars or take a salsa class together (trust me, it's a very sexy style of dance lol)

Yes you should definitely tell your mom. Drunk or not, what he did to you was unexecptable and ILLEGAL (child abuse). And if he gets that out of control when he's drunk, he has no business getting drunk in front of you or your cousin (or anyone for that matter). Don't worry about his relationship with your mom, I'm sure she would always put you before any guy in her life!

Hey,
I know exactly how you feel, I had a similar thing happen to me recently (except the guy never liked me or even knew who I was for that matter). I think you should just be upfront with him and ask him what the deal is (except maybe in a nicer way lol). Just say Iook I like you, but I feel like you've been avoiding me lately and if you don't like me that's fine I just really need to know. If you still don't get a response, then move on. You deserve better!

Ok, your first reaction would obviously be anger towards the girl who was doing that stuff, but after thinking about it I was wondering, does the good friend )who told you about what the other friend was doing) like the friend (the friend who read diary/ talked about u to her)? Is it possible that the one friend might have made up stuff about what the other friend did because she's jealous? I'm not trying to judge either of them, but since you weren't there to hear it yourself, maybe you should sit down with both of them and have a calm discussion allowing each of them to tell their side of the story so you can get the record straight. Try not to take sides to keep it fair and based on what they say, you'll be able to figure out which (maybe both) is a true friend.

Good luck, girls can be viscious.

Have your parents already bought the rolls? If not, I was thinking you could ask them to buy wheat rolls for the sloppy joe's. They are healthier and they fill you up better than regular ones. Also, you can still have sides as long as they are healthy like steam veggetables or a baked potato without all the toppings? I'm worried that if you only have a sloppy joe for dinner you will still be hungry later.

Jenny

I agree with what everyone else has said and I guess it depends on the school but I know at my college the meal plan is part of the tuition.

Also most schools offer something where you can get on-campus cash (at my school they are called "points"). Basically how this works is you pay a certain amount of money up front and then the school credits it to your student account and you can use it towards things on campus such as on-campus food courts (not to be confused with dining halls, these are more a la carte where you pay for individual foods whereas at the dining hall you pay a flat fee and can eat as much as you want). You can also use it for laundry and at the on-campus markets. Basically you just give them your student id card and they swipe it and then it will show you your remaining balance and you can add money whenever you want.

Also I don't know if you have your own bank account but if you don't I would suggest opening one at or near the school because you will definitely be needing money for when you decide to go out to eat (trust me you will get sick of the dining hall fast) or to the movies, etc. Books are pretty pricey (mine usually cost atleast 500 dollars per semester). What I would highly recommend doing would be to order your books online ahead of time (you can probably find a link to your school's bookstore on their website). You can look up what books you need by typing in the classes you are taking and then pay by credit card. That way when you go to pick them up they will be all ready for you and you won't have to wait in the ridiculously long lines.
Sorry that was so long. I hope I didn't overwhelm you. Basically just don't worry too much, every one is going through the same thing and you will figure it out what works for you as time goes by.


PS Have you gone to freshmen orientation yet? If not, they will explain a lot of it there and don't be afraid to bombard them with questions, they're used to it!

Sorry one more thing--here is a helpful site from my school that lists useful things to bring for your dorm: http://www.udel.edu/shoppinglist/

Good luck!

Jenny

Go to www.collegeboard.com if you haven't already. It is one of the best resources out there for finding colleges, getting SAT info, preparing for college etc. They have a search you can do where you select what type of college you are looking for (you can choose from several categories such as size, major, location, percentage of males/females, etc). That search helped me find the college I go today and I love it.
I know that East Carolina has a good program for what you are interested in. I have a friend who goes there who also wants to be a tv anchor and I think she got some sort of scholarship for it.

Guys are weird. My best friend is a guy and I've gone through similar things with him. I suggest you talk to him in person or on the phone so you can get more verbal (for example his tone of voice, hesitation) and non verbal (facial expressions, etc) clues about how he really feels, IM's can be misleading sometimes. Just be straight with him and tell him what you wrote in this question about how you feel like things have changed between you two. Also remind him that you are always there for him, maybe there is something else going on in his life and its causing him to isolate himself. Try to keep it casual and don't act overly worried when you talk to him so he doesn't feel overwhelmed.

Good luck!

Jenny

Ok, first of all take a deep breath and relax a little. You definitely are in a difficult situation, but instead of pointing fingers, let's try to figure out how you can fix things. I really doubt your friend wants to end the friendship over this, she is just very upset about everything, but eventually it will blow over. This may seem like a dumb question and you might have even said it in your question but did you tell your friend you were sorry? Sometimes, that's just what they need to hear. It doesn't solve things but it shows that you care. Also tell her how important your friendship is to you and that while you're doing everything you can to get the ipod thing taken care of, you don't want this to ruin your friendship. Maybe you could write her a letter expressing how you feel, that's what I usually do when a friend is mad at me.

Ok, now to getting her an I-pod. What if you sat down with your parents and worked out a deal where you could do extra chores for them and earn extra money until you can earn enough money to buy your friend a new ipod. I don't know if you are old enough to babysit but that is another way to earn extra money. Ask around in your neighborhood. If your friend is mad that it will take too long, explain to her (as nicely as possible) that you are doing the best you can to get her another ipod.

Another reason your friend might be upset is because her mom is mad. Maybe you could try sending her mom an "I'm Sorry" card and explain to her what you are doing to get her daughter another ipod.

I hope this helps. If nothing else, then hopefully time will heal things.

Trust me, they are not as perfect as they seem. I bet you at least one of them has an eating disorder or something like that. Plus just because your popular, doesn't mean everyone likes you . . . it just means they know who you are. Maybe these girls are popular because a lot of people know them, and don't like them. I was never popular at my school and I never wanted to be because being popular meant changing yourself to please other people and giving in to peer pressure. As long as you know who you are and have a group of friends that like you for YOU (not the way you look), then you shouldn't be jealous. In fact, those girls should be jealous of you!
What always makes me feel better is renting a movie where the main character is unpopular but is protrayed as the good guy (and there are a lot of them out there). If you haven't already seen Mean Girls, I would definitely suggest that or Princess Diaries. Hope this helps!

I agree with JR, as hard as it to do you need to get him out of your life--take him off your buddy list if he's on it, take his number out of your cell phone, take any pictures you have of him out of plain site. At first it sucks, trust me, I've been through it, but at the same time I think its theraputic because you're officially declaring "I'm ready to move on." Take some time for yourself--go out with some girl friends to a movie or get a manicure (if you're into that kinda stuff).
Also, you mention that you like this guy because you feel more free around him. This makes me wonder if its the actual person your missing or just the feeling of freedom that you have when you're around him. Maybe you just need more freedom in your life? Try picking up a new hobby--something all your own that you really enjoy doing. This will not only make you feel more independent, but also help distract you from thinking about him.

Good luck!

I would actually suggest adding weights to your workout. It's a common misconception among women that if they lift a few weights, they will end up looking like a body builder. The truth is, you would have to do a lot of intense lifting before you would even start to see any changes in your muscles. The important thing about weights is that they increase your metabolism so you burn more calories and therefore lose more weight. You can try something simple like 3-5 pound weights twice a week. When I added weights to my workout it made a huge difference in my weight-loss. Also when you're at the gym, do you do the same workout everytime? If so, try changing it up a little. Like if you usually do the treadmill try doing the eliptical or stairmaster. Your body starts to get used to a certain workout if you do it over and over again and you won't burn as many calories. I hope that helps, good luck!

It is perfectly understandable! This may sound like a dumb question, but did you explain to him that its an on going joke? If he still doesn't believe you, then maybe you should consider breaking it off with this guy. A very important part of a relationship is trust and unless you have given him a reason not to trust you, then he shouldn't be so paranoid. You said that he hurt himself over this? That worries me. If he reacts that way to something so small, I am afraid to think of what he would do when a real problem arises. It sounds like your boyfriend has some serious issues that are too big for you or him to deal with. I would suggest encouraging your boyfriend to go to a psychologist or get some professional help for the self mutalation problem.

Hope this helps!

Ask yourself this question: is this guy willing to commit to you (despite his work demands)? It definitely sounds like you are trying to keep the relationship work, but if isn't putting as much effort into it, then I would take a break for the summer and then see how you feel when school starts. Talking to him is the best start and hopefully that will help you get a better idea of how committed he is in this relationship. If you decide to stay together, maybe you could set a weekly "date night" where you designate a certain day of the week (maybe a day when he works fewer hours or has off)and go to the movies, go to dinner, have a picnic, or something as a way to keep the romance alive. Whatever you do, make sure you are not stressing out. Relationships are not always perfect, but they shouldn't stress you out either. Remember--it's summer, you should be relaxing and enjoying yourself!

Hi, I'm Jenny and I am here to give you the advice you need! I am a psychology major in college and I hope to become a therapist or psychologist after I finish school. I am very friendly and opened-minded so don't be afraid to ask me! If you would feel more comfortable, you can send me your question in an email. My email is advice@askjen.org. I am also starting my own online advice website, check it out at www.askjen.org (I just started working on it so there's not much there yet).

E-mail:
Gender:
Occupation:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors: