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I know you never forget your first love, but this is gettin
15/f/going in my junior year of highschool.
When I was in 7th grade, so I was about 11, I fell in love. His name was Michael. Michael was 12 going on 13 and he was wild. His lived with him mom but she hated him. He was on his own. I have always been sheltered and I felt like he was my only way to be .. free. He developed feelings for me also and he asked me out. We dated for about 9 months on and off. It ended short after he got drunk and some party and had sex with a girl he had just met. He was my first love. And I forgive him totally for what he did. I talk to him very rarely now. But when I do see him, I feel like we are back in 7th grade. That was 5 years ago. A lot has changed now. He wants to go into the army, he lives in an appartment with his friend's boyfriend, and he works as a "bouncer" for a club/concert hall. My problem: I feel like he could have my back in a heartbeat. I'm still very sheltered and I still feel the way I did about him then. his amount of freedom is something that I don't think I will ever have. I know you never forget your first love, but this is getting rediculous. I've had 3 serious boyfriends since him, but he's always in the back of my mind. I guess I'm looking for a way to get over him. We talked a few months ago (when I was single) about maybe getting together again. But that idea didn't last long because then he never returned my calls. I just feel a drive to call him sometimes. Please help me get him out of my head. I've have 3 serious boyfriends since him, including the boyfriend I'm with now.
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I agree with JR, as hard as it to do you need to get him out of your life--take him off your buddy list if he's on it, take his number out of your cell phone, take any pictures you have of him out of plain site. At first it sucks, trust me, I've been through it, but at the same time I think its theraputic because you're officially declaring "I'm ready to move on." Take some time for yourself--go out with some girl friends to a movie or get a manicure (if you're into that kinda stuff).
Also, you mention that you like this guy because you feel more free around him. This makes me wonder if its the actual person your missing or just the feeling of freedom that you have when you're around him. Maybe you just need more freedom in your life? Try picking up a new hobby--something all your own that you really enjoy doing. This will not only make you feel more independent, but also help distract you from thinking about him.
Good luck!
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Everyone has gone through this, and never forgets their first love.
But the only way to get over it is to NOT ever see or talk to him again. The old adage: "Out of sight, out of mind" is true.
You can't go back and pick up where you left off. The 7th grade was just that- it WAS. That's not NOW.
As time passes, the feelings will pass. Avoid contact with him and it'll speed the timing of the process up for you.
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