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I am a bisexual femminist from a small town in California. Obviously, I'm not your typical small town girl. I guess my specialty would be advice about hating where you live, who you live around, your town/city...all that sort of thing except there isn't a category for that ;) oh and of course my "favorites" are a good choice in asking me stuff too...I'll answer questions about anything...except the stupid ones, like "He said he liked me, does he really like me?"
E-mail: hrn212@nyu.edu
Gender: Female
Location: Small Town California - Now in NYC
Occupation: Student
Age: 18
AIM: TeenFreek2004
Yahoo: nener2004
MSN: the_talona@yahoo.com
Member Since: September 28, 2003
Answers: 17
Last Update: December 18, 2004
Visitors: 8751

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I have been friends with this guy since the end of October.. We talk a lot, and at first I didn't like him "that way" but every day I begin to like him more and more. He has told people that he doesn't know who he likes, or he likes 3 people and I'm at the top of the list. My friend told him that I like him (with my permission) and he sort of just blushed and wouldn't answer any of her questions. If I am at the top of his list, and he knows I like him, why doesn't he just ask me out? What should I say to him? Or should I just wait patiently for him to make a move? Thanks (link)
Okay then. This one is rather simple. He's probably shy or afraid you'll say no or just afraid that you'll say yes and then what's he supposed to do? So if you like him, ask him out. The whole idea that he should ask you out is really quite stupid. Ask him out, see what happens.


Well..My ex boyfriend Daniel and I broke up about 3 months ago..we had dated for over a year. He broke up w/ me cause it was a 25 min. drive to come see me. Well I will always have feelings for him..but a month after we broke up after I could sob no longer.. I decided to move on to someone else cause I guess you could say A LOT of guys like me. So me and my new boyfriend Ben have been dating 2 months, and I`m happy with him. But now and then I still talk to Daniel at times. Like on Thanksgiving I called his house and wished his parents a happy thanksgiving and everything. The other night he called me out of no where just to talk about his day and how he still had feelings for me, but the story there is.. he is dating someone too. When I first found out I was so upset but I`m okay w/ it now. Its like everytime I talk to him I want to date him again even though I know that won`t happen. Should I just stay with my current boyfriend which I do care for a lot, or just break up and wait for him? (link)
Right...I say you should date whomever you like most. And i'd say you're probably confusing friendly feelings toward your ex as a wish to get back together. If it were me, i'd stay with the one i've got. However, keep in mind you DO NOT NEED A BOYFRIEND. That is all.


this is mostly.. to people.. 18+ just because i believe yall may have more experience with things like this but all opinions are welcome.. okay i've been on birth control for about.. a month and a half.. and well me and my b/f recently started having sex.. with a condom as well.. we had sex tonight and the condom broke he had already ejaculated and was "pulling out".. and realized it was broken.. do u think i could possibly get preg... my BC pills say to use a back up method of birth control for the first 7 days but i've been on it like i said a month and a half.. so give me ur opinions.. should i be worried???? (link)
Well firstly i'd just like to say good job for useing two forms of protection. So many people don't...so good job. As to your question, the bills, when taken regularly, work at about 99%. Also, it takes about a month to start working. So I would say it's rather likely you're not pregnant. However, I think you should get a pregnancy test just to ease your mind. In other words, i dont think you should be worried, but you should take the test just to completely calm yourself.


I'm going into my second semester of college and I live in a dorm with two bedrooms where I have one roommate and two suite mates. All four of us became very close and have had a good first semester. Unfortunately, my roommate is now moving out to go to a different school and I will be having my friend move in with me next semester. My friend I have known for 18 years and we have had many fights and many good times. Over first semester, my long time friend and I have had our discrepencies even when we didn't live together and my suite mate has heard me talk about it all so she thinks she already has an idea on what type of person my friend is. Although I had previously asked my suite mate if she cares that my friend will be moving in and she said no, she now says she doesn't think she can live with her because they won't "get along". The problem is, my friend has already moved her things in and there is no turning back. I just don't think my suite mate has even given my friend a chance so I would like to know what I can to do help solve this situation and make sure we all have a great second semester. Thanks so much! (link)
Interestingly enough I had a similar experience this semester, only I was the newcomer. I am a freshman and the three people I was roomed with are juniors who have lived together since they were freshman. It was a bit ackward at first, but it worked out. I think you should still have your friend move in. You should just keep an eye on both of them, see if they do get along. If you think it might help, because it really depends on your friend, you might want to tell your friend that you're not entirely sure how it's going to work out. At the very least you should tell your suitemate that your friend is actually a really nice person, and so on. Maybe before classes start all four of you could go someplace around campus and hang out. It would certainly help break the ice.


I have a friend who's about to be initiated into Wicca. I know what Wicca's about, and that's mainly why I've been hoping he wouldn't. He's getting initiated on Saturday, and I'm really worried. Is there anything I can do to talk him out of it in five days?!? (link)
if he ASKS for your OPINION...nicely tell him you're opinion. talk about it. dont get hysterical or try to talk him out of it...but just talk to him ABOUT it.

other then that, it's not ur life. he's not going off and becoming an ax muderer...just chill and let him live his life.


Everybody in my school has already had like 10 boy/girl friends... I've had none. Thats right... zip, zero, zilch! They all say how great it is to be hooked up, and they always have someone to dance with at activity nite. I have nobody!

Sincerely,
BoyCrazy (link)
oh ya, ur right...u need a boyfriend, hell i think u should date the next guy u see! jeeze girl no one needs a boyfriend...i understand the feeling of loneliness, but u dont need a boyfriend. plus, u can dance with ppl besides boyfriends...if u want a boyfriend because there's a specific guy u like, alright fine, but dont go out and try to find a boyfriend because all ur other friends have them!!


I'm a feminist but none of the women in my family seem to be catching on. My grandmother says I don't wear enough dresses and my mother thinks all the women's literature I read is worthless. What's wrong with these people? (link)
sounds like my house...grandparents telling me i should wear more make-up, mother telling me i should care about how i look and that the couple feminist books i have look, odd...though my mother is a bit more accepting, she wanted to read one of them later, for information's sake...aw but i babble, sorry

i'd say, they're just...i dont know...sort of back a few decades...i'd say there isn't much u can do, you can't change them, sure u can try but it's been my experience that u can't change ppl that drastically...i'd say you sorta have to live through it until u leave home, though then i'm sure it wont end...but at least u wont be faced with it every day...seriously, if ya need someone to complain with you can definatly email me or try me on yahoo...:)


Is it rude to tell someone what they are doing is extremely rude/disgusting? For example, a friend of mine chews with her mouth open, should I tell her it drives me crazy or just let her continue? (link)
i say tell her, nicely. Say something like "um, when people chew with their mouth open it makes me nuts" or something. in general i think it's fine to tell someone what their doing is disgusting/rude...but make sure u do it nicely and you dont do it where it could embarrass her.


Do you feminists hate gay men as much as you hate straight ones? (link)
um, i dont hate any men...okay that's a lie...i hate chauvenistic men...and i hate women that think their duty is to allow chauvenistic men to rule them. other then that, i dont hate men. and men can be feminists too...


we need a new name.


The radio station I listen to cranks out the cheesy pop tunes until I'm ready to explode some one/thing. Does this give me permission to send them hatemail until they play some REAL music? (and it is the only radio station in the area, besides classical) (link)
no, dont send them hatemail...go ahead and ask them to widen their musical selection...in a nice way...but dont be mean...at first


Why do women whine about equality but still expect guys to pay for stuff and open doors and all that crap? (link)
lookie here, not many of us whine...i'll admit, a few do...i occasionaly sound whiney...but in general we're not sitting around going "tche, it's not faiiiiiiiiirrrrr....sttttoooooopppp ittt"...we take stands and try to promote equality. secondly, i will open the door for any guy, and do not expect someone to open a door for me...but when someone (guy or gal) opens a door for me i think it's nice and polite and so on. same goes with paying for things...sometime's i'll buy my guy friends lunch, sometimes they'll buy me lunch...sometimes we'll both get our own lunch...when i had a boyfriend it went the same way.

i think you need to realize that just because a woman might want a bit of curtacy from her boyfriend doesn't mean she's suggesting he has to get things for her.


If you're too shy to ask someone out in person is it creepy to write them a note? (link)
not creepy no...but it's always better to start things off a bit more personal than a letter. my suggestion is to try to ask in person...maybe over the phone, that would be better than a letter. and remember there isn't any reason to feel like you have to ask NOW! if you're shy then ease your way into it...ya know?


I was asked to bring a "nice traditional pie" to a family dinner. A few months ago I brought key lime, and people didn't think it was "traditional" enough. What gives? I mean, seriously?

So what's a traditional pie? Should I even bother conforming, or just bring whatever I want? (link)
i say bring what you want! bring a chicken pot pie next time...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! but seriously, bring what u like...jeeze it's a pie! pies are good, they taste schnazzy...but they should't cause this big ol' thingy.


Is it better to dance and look really stupid or not dance at all? Should I try taking danceing lessons? (link)
Hmmm, i'd have to say, dance! take lessons if u really want to, or if u got the extra cash. but if you're comfortable with yourself then i say to dance. it's not like many people these days do any real structured dances...it's more like moving to the beat and so on...maybe take a friend and have him/her teach u. or you could do the whole lessons thing, but dont let the fact that you think you look "stupid" when u dance keep you from dancing! dance away ;)


There's this smart, great, funny, talented, awesome, well-rounded guy at my school that girls would fall head over heels for to date. There's just one problem: he's black, and we attend a predominantly white school. Many people wouldn't have a problem with this, but his parents won't let him date girls that aren't black, and all of the black girls in our area are "ghetto", and he's not like that. My friend asked him to prom and they were both psyched but his parents won't let him go because she's white. He's never had a girlfriend and I feel really bad. Thoughts on this issue? (link)
Well, that is a problem. I wish i could say I have an answer, but I dont. My strong mindedness makes me want to say, "screw them and go out anyway," but I realize that's not probable. My advice is to do what you can. I know that sounds horrible, me suggesting to go behind his mother's back and so on...but that's all I can think of. "Accidentally" bump into each other a couple times or something. Or if you're really against being so secrative...which i understand...just try to deal with the fact that he can't date you. Kind of empty eh? No real advice I guess, but it's the best I got.


lookie i can ask myself a question...now that's interesting...

Gealach, what's ur favorite music? lol (link)
my favorite music is jazz




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