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January 23, 2007Answers:
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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
how do you get it?
how do you know if you have it (all signs)?
how do you get rid of it without doing to the doctor if you can?
http://women.webmd.com/tc/vaginal-yeast-infections-topic-overview
This web site if very legit for health questions. You should find what you need there.
My first time was with my current bf. The first thing he did was eat me out. He said I tasted like a "fine liquor" I was incredibly shy and embarrassed and even freak out if he stared at me down there but I really trust him and love him.
He would make sure I'd orgasm everyday with him and we did it so often and were crazy about each other. One time while walking downtown we just couldn't keep our hands off each other that we ran to the top of some stairs in some building beside the door to the roof so no one would see and foreplayed for a while there.. (we were really scared to get caught).
After months taking the pill, we decided to let him cum inside me. It made both of us happy, he didn't have to stop cold turkey to take it out and jack off and I could see his face when he cums.
This is when he'd stop eating me out. I mean even if I take a long shower or thoroughly clean myself, his cum is still stuck way up there.
It's been over a year with him now and he doesn't bother to make me cum anymore.. he only worries about himself cumming.. and even though I give him lots of oral, hoping he'd atleast do the same... I get nothing. I ask him to eat me out or to stop cumming in me all the time but he doesn't care..
After over a month of not cumming with him anymore, I got tired and was unsatisfied again. While he napped, I'd go on his computer, and orgasm from porn. This happened twice without him knowing and with the 3rd, he caught me, and looked upset or hurt.
Now this really confused me, I told him I didn't think he cared whether I came or not anymore and why should this bother him? It turned into a heated arguement and after me mentioning that I wanted to be eaten out again (which he hasn't for several months.. half a year, or over), he shouted at me "You f**ing reek down there, you should f***ing wash yourself down there! I always get soft from that sh*t!!". Ouch. I tried to explain to him that it wasn't like that before he came in me all the time... that even though I shower a lot and often wash myself down there.. perhaps the extra juices I build up down there from the pills (so sperm can swim slow down and thus not be able to reach my egg) and his cum is making it harder to clean it all out...
Nevertheless, he brought in the problems of our relationship (See my Love Life question) and continues to say I'm bitching so I could not get another word in...
Even after another shower right now, just thinking of what he said made me feel really ugly.. and really unsexy.. I used to feel confident about my body and feel sexy and happy but.. I don't know.. I feel like losing my sex drive over him. I just think about him trying to get in my pants again and then I feel like crying from what he said and I feel like he won't get any from me anymore and this will leave us both unsatisfied. I love him but he's such a jerk and... is there any advice on how to feel sexy again, become less dependent on him AND find a really good dildo?
Look at it this way: if he didn't think you were sexy, he wouldn't want to have sex with you. He is being a bit selfish and not satisfying your needs. I think it would be a good idea to stop the sex for awhile. If he's going to treat you like that, he's shouldn't be allowed to have you.
Work on just spending quality time together having fun and not worrying about sex. Pleasure yourself without him if you feel the urge, but other than that you should stop the sex for awhile.
That should definitely put out the message that he's not getting any from you if he's going to treat you like that. Every time he says he wants to have sex, make up an excuse. No matter how mad he gets, don't give him anything until you feel better about yourself. If it doesn't feel right in any way, don't do it. And keep not doing it until he can learn to take care of your pleasures (not just his own) and you can feel good about yourself.
If things do work out, don't let him cum inside you anymore. Even if you're on birth control, you could get pregnant. Not trying to preach, but it's true. Plus, you'll be able to clean yourself better.
15/f
okay so you've probably heard this before but i need some advice. my boyfriend wants to "go further" as he put it. we've been dating 7 months and i'm open to that, but all i've ever done is makeout. like i have no idea what i'm doing and i don't really know how far he wants to go but i'm guessing like bj's and stuff. i don't really know what to do you know and i don't want to be like super nervous so ha is there any like websites that give advice on this? only reason i ask that is you're not allowed to get in detail about this stuff on here.
and please don't tell me i'm too young, i'm not not not goiing to have sex, i know i'm not ready for that. thanks in advance =]
The most important thing before going further in any relationship is talking about it. It's crucial for many things: safety, happiness, and being comfortable. If you cannot talk openly and comfortably about these things with your boyfriend, it's definitely not a good idea to take anything to the next level. You need that communication to establish boundaries and get a feel with what your partner actually wants. That takes care of the guesswork.
Sit your boyfriend down and ask questions. Allow him to do the same. Ask what he expects from you, ask what he is comfortable with at this point in the relationship, etc. If he acts shy or nervous about the conversation, he's not mature enough for this stage of your relationship yet. If he does talk with you comfortably about it, you'll know what he wants, he'll know what you want, and there won't be any "accidents."
So anyway, way it comes to actually doing the stuff, I thought this web site had some good tips for blow jobs.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/blow-job.htm
Basically, it's all about the attitude when you do get a little more physical with your boyfriend. Experiment with it and I'm sure you'll understand what I mean.
19/f
My boyfriend always thinks I'm cheating on him. In reality, I haven't even spoken to a male in about a year (besides my dad).
He has his reasons because I cheated on around a year ago, but I guess he doesn't understand that I've changed. He is severely paranoid. If I don't answer my phone but call back less than ten minutes afterwards, he assumes I was with a guy. He always asks where I am, who I'm with, and I have to tell him where I'm going all the time (that is, IF I ever go anywhere).
The thing is, it's like he won't let me break up with him. When we first started going out, we would break up all the time and get back together. He thinks it's always going to be this way. It seems like the only way this will end is if one of us dies (that may sound like I'm going to kill him but I assure you that's not what I'm saying!)
The only other way I see this is if I were to cheat on him, because he would never cheat on me. After all these years, I'm surprised he hasn't. But I don't want to cheat on him! I love him so much, but I'm so tired of being in a relationship. Just looking a guy makes me sick. I can't do this anymore.
Well, yesterday he was upset with me as usual, so I just shut my phone off all day. He assumed that I was cheating on him.
I know this isn't the right way to go, but it seems like the only way out. BUT I don't want him to believe a lie, thinking that I cheated on him.
Then again, I don't want to go through all the effort of trying to convince him. I'm just sick and tired of it. In my heart, I want to be with him, but I know he won't change. I can't live like this anymore (no, I'm not suicidal).
Maybe we'll have a chance together in the future, but we probably won't be the same people as we used to be. Plus, I'm a jealous person by nature, and I will go crazy if he is with other people.
So, how do I go about this? Or what would you do if you were me in this situation?
Thanks in advance.
I'm glad you are deciding to end this relationship. Once that trust is gone, the relationship could never last. Your guy thinks he has legitimate reasons to worry, so he's going to keep worrying no matter what you tell him.
Sit him down and tell him everything you told us. Tell him you're tired of having to prove yourself after having done nothing wrong. Tell him he is smothering you with his constant neediness and insecurities. Like you said, he'll assume that you are cheating on him, but you don't have to prove yourself. Tell him you're done whether he wants to believe you or not.
I know that this break up will make things better for BOTH of you. You don't have to deal with all the phone calls, you can actually go out and have fun, and you can talk to another guy without him freaking out. Meanwhile, he doesn't have to constantly check up on everything you're doing.
Stay strong. If he tries to get back together like you said, tell him your mind has been made and that's that.
Good luck and I really hope every thing turns out all right.
alright so i fingered a girl a while back and it was my first time ever doing it haven't done it since and when i was down there i like couldn't get in her? it felt like i was going abou half an inch in and then i hit like a bone or something and i tried going a bit lower but same thing, it was dark and i couldn't see anything so any ideas?
Stuff like that is all about trial and error, as twisted as that sounds.
The important thing is to talk to the girl and ask if it feels alright. She'll let you know where to go.
i have an appt for may 1st to see the gyno. the reason is birth control. when i go will i have to go back to get bc or will i get it when i go for my first appt?
After your appointment, the doctor will give you a slip to get the precription filled at the pharmacy of your choice. Of course, if your doctor's office has a pharmcy within it, you can pick it up there once it's filled.
The doctor will allow you to have refills for 6 months or so. After that 6 months, you'll have to call the doctor and ask for more refills. You shouldn't have to actually see the doctor unless you've been having problems.
After that second 6 months is up, it will be time for another gyno appointment and thus more refills.
Birth control is an easy prescription to fill. It takes like two seconds for the pharmacist to get ready for you.
if im on birth control and me and boyfreind have sex, its okay if he busts in me right and i still wont get pregnant?
No it is not ok. Birth control is not 100% effective. I highly recommend still using a condom. While birth control certainly lowers your chances of getting pregnant, there is still a possibility. Trust me. It's better safe than sorry. Use a condom too.
F/13.
im depressed. the guy i like doesn't like me the same way. my step-dad has hit and bruised me about 5 or 6 times in the past 4 months. my mom is dying of a disease. everyone i care about is starting to hate me, because they're getting to know the real me. and it sucks, because right now i need people the most.
i cry myself to sleep, and today [[march 30]] i started cutting again. after not cutting for 2 1/2 months. my mom doesn't know i started cutting again. my therapist might put me on anti-depressants. i'm prolly bi-polar and have ADHD. the only people i have left are the people that can't help me through it. [[except a few people]] and i don't know what to do. i can't help this depression, and i want it to stop. but i can't. my best friend [[that's a girl]] is prolly the girl that everyone thinks im going out with. and my best guy friend is the guy i love, and wanna go out with. im going through the normal shit. times 5 billion. i barely get any sleep. and when i do i have nightmares. about what im gonna turn into. and it sucks because im turning into the person that i hate. i hate my step-dad's part of the family with a passion, but i have to deal with them. i need to talk to my real dad. but i can't. im scared of what he's gonna think. i don't care what people think of me, but im terrifyed of what they think, i think im ugly, i hate the way i am, and how i look. the only reason i haven't commited suicide is because of one person. but i think i'm loosing them. please. help me get over my depression, help me. talk to me, keep me alive. keep me going, please. i wanna hang on. but it's hard when nobody cares. please.
aim:randomconfusionx
i just need someone to talk to, someone to keep me going.
please.
i wanna hold on.
You need to hold on to that part of you that wants to keep going. Don't give up. When you've hit rock bottom, the only place left to go is up.
I think it would be a good idea to talk with your therapist. Just get out everything that's been on your mind. Even if he does give you some type of medicine, it will probably help you. I'm hoping he will also be able to help you stop cutting. I know that you probably feel like cutting stops the pain your feeling, but remember that it always comes back. It's not a permanent solution and it is not the way out of your problems.
And I am dreadfully sorry to hear about your mother. You should try to spend as much time with her as possible. Read her books, watch movies with her, buy her a cute get well card everyday. Just being with your mother will make her happy and I'm sure she'd love to spend time with you. It might even make you feel a little better.
You should try to make amends with your step dad (even though you hate him). Be polite and helpful around the house. You don't have to talk to him all the time, but be respectful when he speaks to you. As long as you do that, he has no reason to lose his temper and hit you. If he does it again, call the police. Immediately. Don't hesitate.
I know that since you hate the man so much, it's hard to sympathize with him, but he's going through a rough time since your mother is ill. It's definitely not an excuse for him to hit you like that, but remember his life isn't so great at the moment either. The least you could do is try and get along. Do it for your mother.
If you want to talk to your father, you need to. He loves you and cares about you no matter what you're going through. I really feel that he is the most important person you need to get in touch with at this time. I'm sure that talking things out with someone you know and love will help you through this difficult time.
After that, if things are still not going well, spend lots of time with your friends. Do fun things together. I'm sure that your friends want to be there for you, you just have to let them.
Ok this question isnt supposed to be offensive to anybody, im just wondering opinions. Today kids are having sex younger and younger, some kids are like 13 years old. I was wondering what you all think of that. Personally i cant believe this is happening to the world haha. I was just wondering if anybody out there agrees with me or if you dont agree with me, why? This is just out of curiosity. Also, if this is how things are now, imagine in 10 years, whats gonna happen!! haha, ok thanks!
The youngest person I've ever heard to have lost their virginity was 11!!!
I completely agree with you. Sex just isn't what it used to be anymore. Teenagers (and *gulp* pre-teens) don't seem to have any moral values whatsoever. I feel that it's all because everyone wants to be "in love" and will do anything to find it. And I'm sure that vulgar advertisements, music videos, and music in general do NOT help.
It seems to me that fewer and fewer kids these days care about a religion or have any moral values whatsoever.
I've always thought that sex doesn't necessarily have to wait for marriage, but one should at least wait for the legal age of 16 and until you've found another person you truly love.
Ugh!
I've asked a similar question before....but here goes again...I got my period on the 12th of february...it was over by the 17th. I had unprotected sex with my husband on the 20th and he cummed in me. I peed and took a shower right away that doesn't help I know but I did it anyways. We did this once before had unprotected sex after my period maybe 3,4 days after and didn't become pregnant. Anyways now almost a week after...I am feeling bloated and kind of think about puking....is that because I think I am pregnant....24/7 cuz I know even if I am I can't have symptoms this early. Any advice is appriciated. And I know it's too early for me to take a pregnancy test. What's your opinion what do you think am I pregnant....or am I just thinking about it too much and it's giving too much stress and driving me crazy... thank you !
It is very easy for your mind to trick your body into thinking it is something (i.e. pregnant) when it really isn't.
It seems like you're pretty worried about it, so of course your body is going react like you're pregnant. Try not to worry about it until you can take a test and know for sure.
okay so i was with this guy and like almost everyday usually 2 times a day for like 3 in a half months we had sex.. and i havent had sex in like 6 months soo my question would be.. i have a new boyfriend and were ready to take it to the next level hes a virgin and hes a little smaller than my boyfriend was so do you think.. he would think im lose? im just afraid of that.. since hes smaller dick wise?.. or do guys not really notice that? i dont know
Since he's a virgin, I doubt he'll even notice anything. Since you haven't had sex in six months, I'm sure you've regained at least some of the tightness back in your vagina.
Don't worry about it. I'm sure he's just too thrilled that things are going to the next level to even notice. Especially since it's his first time.
Ok well, I recently had sex and I got my period the next day. But ever since I got my period, my vagina has been hurting REALLY bad (inside of it). And it burns when I pee. I'm REALLY scared! Anyone have an idea of what it might be?
It is possible that you have a bladder infection, but nothing can be said for sure.
You need to go to a doctor and get it checked out. If it is some type of infection, it won't go away on its own.
No one has to know you had sex. They will probably just take a urine sample and see what's up.
Is it true that If your on birth control your body reacts like its pregnant?
I heard that somewhere and I just want verification.
Sometimes After sex i get these weird feelings...and i was wondering if its that.
thanks alot!
I've been on birth control for two years and I've never experienced such a feeling.
If it persists, talk to your doctor.
what does sex really feel like? does it always really hurt the first few times?? does it hurt after the first few times?
To put it bluntly, the first time feels a lot like trying to shove a shoe in your vagina. Of course, your body will stretch and adjust to it, but I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you. It hurts like hell.
That's why it's extremely important to have your first time with someone that cares about you so they will be gentle and take it slow so you can adjust.
i started Yaz a few weeks ago and i was wondering how long it took until it fully worked and my boyfriend can actually penetrate in me without me getting pregnant. i hope i dont sound to weird!!
thanks ahead of time.
Ashleigh
When I started birth control, but doctor cautioned me to wait a month for your hormones to get in check. After that, you should be fine. I still recommend using a condom, though.
And by the way, the only weird questions are the ones that aren't asked.
=)
My boyfriend and I are both 20 years old, have been together over 2 years and we were each other's firsts, and about 4 months ago I started on a birth control pill, Yasmin, because we both decided it would be safe for us, but even though I am on the pill, we still use condoms for extra security.
Over the 4 months I noticed a big change in personality, I cry a lot for no reason, get depressed for no reason. Go from being o.k. to really mad. I also have gotten a major rash all over my body, and some smaller ones. my skin has also become dry and itchy. sometimes my arm or leg feels like i have to stretch it, like it is tingly, and doesn't go away. I am tired no matter how much sleep I get, I am very irritable and anxious. I also seemed to have lost some interest in my bf all together, as well as sex.
I have a feeling it is from the pill, and I have heard of other girls having strokes, major blood clots, and mood problems from being on Yasmin and I am considering going off of it.
The thing is, is do I stay on this pill, and deal with these problems and other potential ones, or do I go off the pill, but worry about getting pregnant by just using a condom? I just don't feel like me when I am on these pills and I want to go back to my normal self. But I hate the stress of thinking something can go wrong while just using a condom. I really don't know what to do. He wants me to go off of them for the sake of my health, i'd like some opinions please!
Thank you!
Your best bet is to talk to a doctor. ASAP. If the pill is giving you a rash, something has gone VERY wrong.
You should know that there are hundreds of different kinds of birth control pills. Each one is a little different. If you go see a doctor, he/she can help you find a birth control that's good for you without all the side effects.
If you insist on discontinuing the pill for good, talk to your doctor about other birth control methods and the two of you can worth something out.
Is it normal not to feel pleasure from masturbation? As in, not feeling pleasure from actually inserting my fingers? I do get pleasure from clit stimulation.
I know alot of women don't get pleasure from sex but I'm a virgin and I'm just wondering if it's normal not to get pleasure from masturbating and if I don't get pleasure out of it does it mean I won't get pleasure out of penetration?
You probably won't feel physical pleasure from penetration. Lots of girls are like this, I am one of them. There are many sex positions you can do that will stimulate your clitoris at the same time of penetration.
It's nothing to worry about at all. That's just another reason it sucks being a girl; we have to work harder to get true enjoyment out of sex.
:-)
is it normal that whenever my boyfriend touches me it makes me feel my heartbeat in my crotch? it also makes my bra feel really tight.. and i don't know why.
A) is that normal?
B) why does that happen?
C) what does it mean when that happens?
A) That is perfectly normal.
B) It happens because you are sexually arouse. The throbbing you feel is all the blood rushing to those sensitive areas.
C) All it means is he's turning you on.
about 2 month ago, i was 3 month pregant, and i lost it, i don't understand why? before i got pregant i use drugs, drinking beer etc, then i got pregant i stopped doing it, so i lost baby cause from the past i doing drugs and beer? while I'm pregant, i eat alot, good heathly, doing good.
While drugs and alcohol can have serious effects on a baby, you need to remember that miscarriages can happen at any time for what seems like no reason at all. I am so very sorry for your loss.
In the future, if you plan on becoming pregnant, cut down your use of drugs and alcohol BEFORE you get pregnant so you know the baby will be healthy. Obviously, if you don't know you're pregnant, there is not much you can do about it. The best way to make sure your baby will develop safely is to plan the pregnancy and your health choices accordingly.
when im wearing boxers and i sit down my thing like comes out of one of the leg holes and like everyone can see it.how do i make sure it doesnt fal out my boxer leg or come out of my leg hole.and why does it do that.whats the problem
remember that was 2 questions
You need to wear longer boxer shorts, or at least ones that are more form fitting so it will keep your penis in place.
It's not really a problem, it just does that. It happens to lots of guys.