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What about my turn to orgasm?!
My first time was with my current bf. The first thing he did was eat me out. He said I tasted like a "fine liquor" I was incredibly shy and embarrassed and even freak out if he stared at me down there but I really trust him and love him.
He would make sure I'd orgasm everyday with him and we did it so often and were crazy about each other. One time while walking downtown we just couldn't keep our hands off each other that we ran to the top of some stairs in some building beside the door to the roof so no one would see and foreplayed for a while there.. (we were really scared to get caught).
After months taking the pill, we decided to let him cum inside me. It made both of us happy, he didn't have to stop cold turkey to take it out and jack off and I could see his face when he cums.
This is when he'd stop eating me out. I mean even if I take a long shower or thoroughly clean myself, his cum is still stuck way up there.
It's been over a year with him now and he doesn't bother to make me cum anymore.. he only worries about himself cumming.. and even though I give him lots of oral, hoping he'd atleast do the same... I get nothing. I ask him to eat me out or to stop cumming in me all the time but he doesn't care..
After over a month of not cumming with him anymore, I got tired and was unsatisfied again. While he napped, I'd go on his computer, and orgasm from porn. This happened twice without him knowing and with the 3rd, he caught me, and looked upset or hurt.
Now this really confused me, I told him I didn't think he cared whether I came or not anymore and why should this bother him? It turned into a heated arguement and after me mentioning that I wanted to be eaten out again (which he hasn't for several months.. half a year, or over), he shouted at me "You f**ing reek down there, you should f***ing wash yourself down there! I always get soft from that sh*t!!". Ouch. I tried to explain to him that it wasn't like that before he came in me all the time... that even though I shower a lot and often wash myself down there.. perhaps the extra juices I build up down there from the pills (so sperm can swim slow down and thus not be able to reach my egg) and his cum is making it harder to clean it all out...
Nevertheless, he brought in the problems of our relationship (See my Love Life question) and continues to say I'm bitching so I could not get another word in...
Even after another shower right now, just thinking of what he said made me feel really ugly.. and really unsexy.. I used to feel confident about my body and feel sexy and happy but.. I don't know.. I feel like losing my sex drive over him. I just think about him trying to get in my pants again and then I feel like crying from what he said and I feel like he won't get any from me anymore and this will leave us both unsatisfied. I love him but he's such a jerk and... is there any advice on how to feel sexy again, become less dependent on him AND find a really good dildo?
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Its time to trade up.
Seriously. He's immature, he's selfish, and now that he's getting what he wants he's relaxed enough that he just doesnt care.
And yes, you can tell him that if you smell bad down there its BECAUSE he's cumming in you. Stale cum just doesnt smell that great. Also, after a shower you shouldnt smell bad anymore. Vast experience from my side is that ALL women taste great fresh out the shower, even if its a shower that was immediately preceeded by sex.
So, part of it might be the cum, but a big part is that he is still being selfish and probably hiding behind that excuse because he doesnt care.
This relationship isnt going to work. You're both very sexual and he isnt satisfying you. The lack of sexual satisfaction is also going to lead to a lack of intimacy between you two, which is eventually going to lead to a breakup or you cheating.
So instead of waiting, my advice is to get out now.
Also, Razhie is brilliant. Listen to her.
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You should include a link if you are referencing another question, otherwise we have to guess and go looking for it...
How to feel sexy again?
Dump Him.
How to become less dependant?
Dump Him.
How to find a really good dildo?
Ask your girlfriends for recommendations (they will probably also add 'Dump Him.')
You have a lot of self-improvements to make. I don't mean that as an insult at all, almost everyone I know had to take stock of their life and control of their own destiny in their early twenties. It's just that time in life when you have to pull your socks up.
That isn't going to happen as long as you are with him. It can't happen as long as all of the energy that you should be spending to self-discovery and improvement, is spent babying him and desperately trying to keep a miserable person less miserable.
Holding you back is an understatement. This relationship is the cement block tied around your neck.
In your other question, you ask how to stop the cycle. The trick to stopping it is to stop it completely, all at once. Dump him clearly, quickly and without any room for confusion. Then tell him, for your own sake you will not be speaking to him, responding to e-mails or phone calls, for 3 months.
You can't fall back into his arms if you banish his arms. He can't tell you sweat lies if you don't let him speak to you. That is what it is going to take to end this.
3 months is the minimum you need to cry it out, eat the ice-cream, reconnect with your friends and yourself and to be strong enough to speak to him again. If at the end of the three months you decide you never want to speak to him again, more power to you.
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Look at it this way: if he didn't think you were sexy, he wouldn't want to have sex with you. He is being a bit selfish and not satisfying your needs. I think it would be a good idea to stop the sex for awhile. If he's going to treat you like that, he's shouldn't be allowed to have you.
Work on just spending quality time together having fun and not worrying about sex. Pleasure yourself without him if you feel the urge, but other than that you should stop the sex for awhile.
That should definitely put out the message that he's not getting any from you if he's going to treat you like that. Every time he says he wants to have sex, make up an excuse. No matter how mad he gets, don't give him anything until you feel better about yourself. If it doesn't feel right in any way, don't do it. And keep not doing it until he can learn to take care of your pleasures (not just his own) and you can feel good about yourself.
If things do work out, don't let him cum inside you anymore. Even if you're on birth control, you could get pregnant. Not trying to preach, but it's true. Plus, you'll be able to clean yourself better.
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