Hello people! I'm not anything special, no *real* training, I've grown up in a pastor kid enviroment, so I've been the one people turn to a lot. I WON"T tell you you're question was stupid, and I won't give you a bogus answer. I love helping people, and my future profession is going to be in the psychiatric field, but I'm also into professional singing(I've been singing publicly since the age of two) so I know all sorts of tricks for that stuff too. I'll give anything a stab, except I suck at sports(sorry, can't help you make a field goal) and I'm not into the whole "in style" thing. I've got my own little fashion thing going on. I know a whole bunch of useless knowledge, and though I have my own issues, I can usually come up with a good solution if I'm not in the situation.
Lots of Love XOXO
Mycalina(aka Rose)
P.S. If you need a professional opinion to writings, I'm your girl. e-mail them to me!!!
Member Since: January 13, 2007
Answers: 58
Last Update: January 20, 2007
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Green_Machine
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hey guys.. i have a problem. My really close friend since 2 years has been cutting herslef and i only found out in September this year. I ALWAYS tell her to stop because its not good for her but she wont! I ask her why and she would never give me a straight answer or she would just change the subject. I recalled her saying that one of the reason she does it is because shes muslim and ever since 9/11 some people have been very racsit about it, saying that ALL musilm people are like that. She never tells me when something is bugging her and i really care for her but im not sure how i can help her. No, im not going to an older person about it because i know she doesnt want anyone to know abotu it. Her legs are really scarred from it. Can anyone give me any ideas of how i can convince her to stop? (BTW she doesnt listen to anyone when they tell her)
Thanks alot for listening and any advice is greatly appreciated.
-Krazy (link)
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okay. I know from experience that it won't help just to tell her she's loved. What really worked for me was when my best friend told me she wasn't going to care anymore. From then on, whenever I talked about anything like that, she walked away. She's stopped this now, and listens to me, but what really helped was that initial shock that "OH! She really wants me to stop... enough to stop talking to me."
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Ok one of my friends are gay. let's call her tina. at first everyone thought tina was gay/lesbian whatever, because of the way she dressed.(she wore her clothes a LITTLE loose and somtimes she wore a lot of things that boys would wear) but she denied that she was a lesbian, so everyone backed off. but then everyone noticed that she was being a little too friendly with two girls. let's call them ciara and brittany. somehow people just started the rumor that tina was a lesbian again, and this time she didn't deny it. then tina ended up going out with brittany and they just broke up. the details are a bit too long, so i'll just get to the point. i was over tina's house after she broke up with brittany, because i still wanted to be her friend even though her sexual orientation had changed. when i was over there, she was askin me should she go back out with brittany and she let me listen to the message that brittany left on her answering machine. they both wanted to get back with each other, and were saying that they loved each other. well, ask you can probably already tell, i feel a little uncofortable with this who situation. any ideas on ways i can feel a little more comfortable with this would be great!!! (link)
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being bi or les doesn't change anything. only homophobic people(which it sounds like the kids at your school are) really care.
Your friend is the same person she was before, and it shouldn't change your friendship at all.
If you really want to feel better about it, just being around it more should help calm down your gaydar to the point where you aren't freaking out.
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hey, ive been trying to think of something to do for my 16th bday party. i was gonna do midnight bowling, but someone else did that a few weeks ago and i dont want to seem like im copying them. does anyone have a cool, original idea? thanks :) (link)
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how about a be yourself party? everyone comes wearing whatever; honestly their favorite outfit. They decorate their own like cupcakes or whatever with all kinds of stuff(like chocolate syrup, or sour skittles. or peppermints. random toppings), decorate your house with streamers and decorations of their choice(they each get their own area), and mix virgin cocktails with whatever they feel like. You can do other stuff too, like doing a talent show, or races or whatever. The whole thing ends up being really goofy and fun, and its pretty inexpensive too.
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Okay, this can get confusing. I'm 14/f and I have 3 gay guy friends. Let's call them Bob, Fred, and Joe. Bob and Fred are both in 9th grade with me and Joe is in 10th grade. Bob and I have been bff since ever. I met Fred and Joe at the end of last year and I'm good friends with both of them. Bob, I love that kid to death and i would never ditch him for another person.
Well, so my problem is that I stopped riding the bus inthe morning and had my dad drop me off in the morning. Then I found out that Joe gets there early too so I just hung out with him in the mornings. Well, there are these two girls, let's call them Tina and Kay? [I was really good friends with them last year but I hate them right now and I'm trying to pull away from them right now--long story] Well, one day Tina was like "Where' Bob?" --In the morning--And I went idk. And then she asks why I didn't know since we rode the same bus. And I told her "I'm not riding the bus anymore. My dad's dropping me off plus I get to talk to Joe"
Let me explain Joe and my situation. We're both in IB Prep and we're both going to be IB sutdents soon [yes, I know we're neerrdds] IB kids..it's like a cult and people out of IB can't be in the cult. Almost all the time anyway. So, Joe and I are usually really busy to tlak on the phone or IM, we don't have any classes together. And so we have on lunch and in the mornings to talk. So one reason I get there early is to talk to Joe and finish hw.
Well, Tina and Kay keeps on telling me "You switched gay guys on Bob!!" And making me look bad. But I really am not. I just want to talk with him like I would with any other people. Also they're saying that because I went to one party with Joe and his friends. ONE!!! They say that in front of Bob too. So I'm like wtf!! But I really am not. I love Bob to death and Joe can never replace Bob. And so one day I asked Kay "Give me 5 reasons and 5 people that says I'm switching gay guys." and she lists 4 people..including herself and Tina and some girl that has no relation to this "problem" and some other person.. And she never gave me the reason b/c I went off on how the other girl doesn't count because she doesn't know crap about this situation blah blah blah.
So my question is how t=do I get it through these girls' heads that I'm NOT switching gay guys? I mean they think that I can have only one gay friend and only the firends I had last year. They don't get that because I make new friends doesn't mean I'm going to ditch bob!! (link)
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wow.okay. these girls are really homophobic. ouch.
tell them that they're being orientationist. ask them if its OKAY that you have more than one straight friend. Cuz chances are, they wouldn't care.
Both Bob and Joe sound like great guys, and I'm glad you have them as friends with serious witches like that at your school. PROBABLY, they're jealous because you chose this Joe over them.
Think about it. you stopped being friends with them around the time you got really close to Joe. They want you back, and now that they're realizing you don't like them anymore, they're being witches with a capital B.
Just tell them that you can have as many gay friends as you like, because if they were REAL friends they wouldn't bug you about this.
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This situation is a litte weird. So I'm 14/f and this girl, let's call her Jane, is in my grade and let's call this other girl Lisa, is in a grade level high than ours. So Jane and I were good friends last year but one thing piled on top of another and I really dislike her now and I'm tyring to pull away from her deviously as to not cause any drama [I know, unavoidable] Lisa, is a trouble girl I guess. She's doing drugs, she smokes, drinks, and all that stuff. She also goes out with guys/girls for the max 2 weeks and in b/w she screws them [she lost her viginity when she was 13 or 14]
Well, guess what. Jane and Lisa are going out. Jane is already doing drugs so that won't effect her. But Jane and Lisa..well they're both horny all the time and I swera Lisa will get Jane involved in some sexual activity soon. They're already making out in front of everyone at school and they've been going out for 2 days now?
Should I be worried..should I just leave this alone...should i step in...what sohuld I do? (link)
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Okay, I'm not POSITIVE that your school will have one, but most schools have a box type thing where you can ANONOMOUSLY place referals to the guidance counselour for yourself or friends. Don't put it in there if you aren't worried about Jane and Lisa. Also, if you think they might think it was you, don't put it in yourself. Ask someone you TRUST to put it in for you. I've done this for a bunch of people.
I know that it's probabaly hard to rat out someone, but if you're really worried, its the right thing to do.
EDIT::: SO if you don't, just write a letter to the guidance counselour. Put in the letter that its anonomous just for your safety, and that you really don't want him/her to doubt that you're telling the truth.
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How in the world are you supposed to tell a guy is being mean, or mean flirty nice.. you know?
This guy has been well mean/flirty? to me, since the sixth grade, and I find it cute.
But I dont know if he really is just being mean, or if he likes me.
THe easy answer would be that he does,
maybe i'm over analyzing? (link)
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If a guy has been doing this to you for four years, and he seems to like you a bit, it means he really does like you- at LEAST as a friend. Cuz otherwise he'd get bored.
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ok so i have this friend, she's not that great of a friend but thats not the point. anyway, i have this boyfriend. they dont like eachother, whatever. So she gave one of her hot co-workers my myspace and he's telling me im hot and stuff and that me him my friend and her boyfriend should go on a double date. one day my boyfriend logged into my account because i had told him about this guy and he asked if he could read some of the messages the guy sent me. he said if the guy kept bugging me after i told him i had a bf he would get mad and at least message the guy telling him something. the guy sent me another message right now giving me his number. i dont want to hook up with this other guy but i wouldnt mind talking to him, i have a lot of guy friends. i think my boyfriend would be mad if i called him. what should i do? (link)
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If your bf really likes you, he should trust you.
Tell him that you want to test how strong your relationship is, because in the long run, you're going to have friends who are guys. Talk to him BEFORE you call this guy. Also, talk to your friend, because if she keeps doing things like this, you probably won't be able to continue a friendship with her.
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Okay so i have this friend lets call him jack. well i think that jack cuts himself. because i asked him and he said dont worry about it. and he kept saying that. and yeah. so i think he cuts because if he didnt he would just say no right?
any ideas what i should do about it?
thanks in advance :) (link)
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Okay. No offense to cutie whatever, but thats not really true.
I used to be a cutter.
So did a bunch of my friends.
We never really talked about it, but we all knew the others did.
I had a loving, caring family, great friends, and a good life.
however(and this is NO LIE) I was groped at Six flags by a stranger, adn I felt completely horrible about it.
The next week I was kicked out of school for scratching open my stomach with a pocket knife.
I didn't feel any less loved, I just wanted to show my pain in a physical way.
you're friend Jack could be cutting himself for lots of reasons.
But yes, I agree you're probably right. he probably is. the thing is, if he's telling you not to worry, its because he needs it. Most cutter who do it consistantly develop a way to make the cutting entirely cosmetic, and unless they're TRYING to kill themselves, nothing can really happen that will cause real damage.
Be there for him, and make sure he knows you're listening when he decides to tell someone. Because nobody can cut peacefully forever. it doesn't work.
WARNING SIGNS OF CUTTING:
small cuts, especially ones in sets of three, or legs, arms, and stomach.
saying things like "oh it happened in gym" all the time
constant wearing of long sleeves or wristbands, or even lots of large bracelets.
I hope this helps.
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