Green_Machine's advice column

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Q: How do I get to know you better?

Talk to me I suppose...?

Q: what would you tell a very close friend who is cutting herself?
not in a life threatening way, but in a cosmetic type. like scratching, or minor cuts, like from a razor.
I'm worried.
thanks if you can help.

Hmm...this is tough. I would say, talk to her. Ask her why she does it. It sounds like she enjoys drawing on herself and might be enjoying the pain. Tell her that you're worried about her.

If you want to talk more about it, or let me know how it goes, feel free to email me. My email address is on my column.

-- Green_Machine

Q: well you see whenever i make out w/ my boyfriend i get a sore throat is this normal?

It's possible that he had a cold and got you sick. You can also get sick if you're body isn't used to having other people's germs in it. It should go away.

Q: I hate the way my body looks and I have for-pretty-much-ever. I've tried so many diets, and working out, but nothing has ever worked. the thing is, I'm really not fat. I'm just chubby. I'm 5'3 and weigh 140.

I've had an eating disorder before, and it wasn't really that bad. I was anorexic when I was younger, I finally got over it, and now I'm buimic. Now just trying to eat makes me throw up.

How bad is bulimia? And how do I get over it?

Love,

Arlo

You just need to realize how bad it is and, also, that you're fine. Your body sounds pretty average to me. I'm 5'5" and weigh 135.

I've heard that things like that are like drugs. They're addictive, so your body thinks you have to do it and they are extremely bad for you. you should definetly talk to your doctor and/or a councilor.

Q: This question has been bothering me for quite sometime now...

If someone is depressed why wouldn't they want to reach out and get help?

Thanks

It's not always quite that easy. I had depression and most of my problem was that I didn't want to talk to anyone because every time I tried to talk to someone, I would just get frustrated. My therapist always always tried to say things she really knew nothing about. She even talked about my mom once. I didn't want help. In my mind, I didn't need help. But I can see now that I really needed it.

Q: Ok, I like to sing.. and Im pretty good at it(not to be concieded or w/e) but I have the worst stage fright and everyone gets mad when I dont get up in front of ppl and sing.. Its like my personality I am really outgoing and crazy if I know you and am comfortable around you, but if I dont know you Im kinda shy and everything..how do I overcome this!?

I have the same problem. When I have to sing in front of people, I pick one person out of the audience and pretend that they're the only person there. Sing the whole song to that person. It also helps to close your eyes when you can (just not for the whole song of course).

Q: im sooo freked out. my best friend is scaring me. he is running away and not telling anyone. i just found out that he has threatened to kill himself. im scared. hes like a brother. i love him to death. if anything happened to him id go crazy. how can i approach him about it? or how can i just stop freaking out? my sister is dating him and she is scared to. pleeze help me. im very worried about him. help!

The best thing you can do is talk to him. Seeing as how you tow are close, he should come around. But when you talk to him, don't get upset and freak out. Be calm.

If he doesn't come around, have a talk with his parents about them talking to him, or getting a therapist/councilor.

Q: ok well i think i have social anxiety disorder because when ever people whisper i always thnk there talking bad about me and i always think that im getting negativly judged everywhere i go its weird then i get all self concioncion and then now i never go out and i always think my friends are mad at me and i dont know whats wrong with me...HELP!!

if you give good advice then i rate fives no smart alecs and

also im 13/f

The best thing to do is to get it into your head that nobody is talking about you. Also, even you are being negatively judged, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't care about what others think.

Q: ok i need to reach one of my friends over seas ( they live in germany )
ok i got a phone card
and i keep on doing everything it says i need to do on the phone card
yet when i put in there phone number and everything it says its invaild.
I never dialed over seans before on a phone card does anyone know how? plz i need to know how to do this asap

You might want to check to see if the phone number is correct. If it is, then trygetting a new phone card.

Q: My mother just recently died from lung cancer. She was just diagnosed on Sept. 15th of this year and she passed away on October 28th, 2005.

My boyfriend of several years had already told his spoiled rotten, self-centered, selfish daughter that she could have a Halloween party before the incident with my mother came up.

Instead of being here, supporting me, helping me make the needed arrangements and just being a shoulder to lean on, he decided it was more important to help out with his daughter's Halloween party, because everybody knows "Courtney" comes first....no matter what!

I think that's about as sorry as you can get. What do you think?

That's not right. If you haven't already, you should talk to him about this. Tell him that you don't appreciate him not being there for you.

Q: I am a sophomore in high school and in love with dance. I am currently on my school drill team and I also dance for a studio that I've been at for about 7 years.

My parents have recently noticed a drop in my grades because of dance. I'm usually an A student with an occasional. But, for the past 2 grading periods (the only 2 of my sophomore year so far) I've gotten C's. To some of you that doesn't sound bad but I don't get Cs...ever. I care about my grades very much and so do my parents.

And that brings me to my problem:
My parents aren't making me quit dance but they are making me choose between my dance studio and my school drill team.

I can't quit my studio because I've been there for what seems like forever and I love it too much. I've made so many friends and I can't imagine not dancing there.

But, I also can't quit my drill team. It's what keeps me sane in school. Plus I love belonging to a group that is looked up to at school. If I quit this, I won't be able to rejoin or retry out for the rest of my high school years. Once you quit, you can't come back.

I have until Wednesday to decide because if I do end up quitting drill team, I have to give my coach a 2 day notice before the next football game. What do you guys think?

I think you should talk to whoever is in charge at your studio (and your parents) about taking a break for a little while. Stop going to studio for a while to get your grades up and then go back.

Q: m/13/7th grade
In a month, I will be moving into my condo and i hope to gather a bunch of kids to have ocasional gatherings and i hope to have both boys and girls. What kind of things do boys and girls like to do? How should i invite them?

Well, as far as inviting them, colorful invations work best. It's also really cool if you make them yourself (Microsoft Word).

It depends on what type of girls. Girly girls like to sit and talk or dance. Tomboys (like me) like to play game (party games or sports). Party games have always worked well at my parties.

Q: hi. i am decorating a t-shirt for halloween that says happy halloween on the front and i already know what i want on the back but i dont know what else to put on the front besides happy halloween...
keep in mind its for work...i am a server at ihop...and we are able to wear halloween shirts...
anyone have any ideas for what else i can put on the front?
thanks!

I think a Jack-O-Lantern and a bat would look really cute. Maybe you could also have a speach bubble coming from one of their mouths saying "BOO". :-)

Q: I know this has got to be the stupidest question ever, but...

You know ear buds? Like the headphones, but theyre just little things you stick in your ear? Yeah. Well, no matter how hard I try, they do NOT stay in my ear. Can anyone help me?

They don't work for anyone I know (or me). Either they can't get them in, or they get them in and they hurt like crap. I don't know what's up with them...I just stick to standard headphones.

Q: so i have a kinda big room...and im wanting to do sumptin new wit it...so should i pick...

Beach

I think a 50's theme is a great idea. That' what I'm doing with my room. Use lot of black, white, and red. You should be able to find accessories at any craft store.

Q: Ok My cat has just had 3 kittens. They are 1 girl and 2 boys. I have named one of the boys Shaddow and I need to more names 4 the girl and boy cat! I don't want happy names I like darker names! Thanks! (no Smarts either please)

Rayne
Jinx
Midnight
Twilight (spelling?)
Moon

I like these. Especially Twilight. You miht want to check my spelling on that one though. Hope of been of help.

Q: We are adopting a new cat(male) and brining him home tonight. Please, anyone with experiance - What is the best way to introduce him to our other cat(female)?

The best way (I've found) is to start with each cat on another side of the room. Set them down and let them come towards eachother on there own. If you just push them together,that will most likely result in a cat fight.

Q: ok so this is lame. but one of my friends' birthday is tomorrow and i dont have any clue what to get her. I really havent even had a chance to think of what to get her. So shes a (soon to be) 15 year old girl. She likes to play soccer and well i dont know shes a normal kind of girl. so does any one have any ideas?

T-shirts always work! Especially ones that have funny sayings that apply to them. Or if she's mentioned something about needing new soccer gear, you could get her something she needs.

bio

I'm Rachel, I'm 16, and I'm from Maryland, USA. I love to read, play video games, and above all, music! I'm bisexual and I'm pretty open about it, so if you question your sexuality don't be afraid to ask questions. The only stupid question is the one unasked.
Update 1/19/07 - I'm finally a mod!! ^_^