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Q: I have this guy friend that I've had a crush on for forever. I finally told him two or three weeks ago and he handled it surprisingly well. I figured that we would get past it and nothing more would really be said about it since he wasn't interested in me back like that.
Well, the end of last week got really weird. He has been calling me a little more lately but last week he started to sound more and more, well, sexual to me. I mean, he started making comments to me about my body and how I take care of my figure. He even went as far as to say how he had...er...dreams of me sometimes.
I didn't want him to not be my friend any more so I just shrugged the comments off like they didn't effect me at all. Today though was a different story and I can't really just ignore it. I see that my harmless, "I have a huge crush on you!" confession is being taken as a hook-up request.
Today he calls and says he's been thinking and that we could really be great in a friends with benefits type of relationship. He started to tell me how I would be really happy and fulfilled and he would be happy to please me. It got really creepy and I just kind of lied and said my mom needed me and to call me later and I hung up.
How do I tell him that I just don't want to be friends with benefits? I'm not that type of girl. Yes, I like him but I don't want to be used, you know? I feel like I made a huge mistake and have ruined what a great friendship we had simply because I told him I had a crush on him. What do I do? Can my friendship be salvaged? Do I just tell him to lay off with the sexual stuff because I am not interested in that? Ugh, I feel so stupid...
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I understand how you feel COMPLETELY! Same exact thing happend to me. He's basically taking the feelings you have for him to his advantage. Why? Because he's a guy! And at a young age, quite honestly, all they care about is sex. I don't know this guy, and I'm sure he's not doing it on purpose to hurt you (unless, he's a player/jerk type of guy..).
What's with all the body compliments?: I'm sure you've heard that guy's will say pretty much anything to get in your pants. That's actually VERY true. The guy who did this same exact thing to me would always give me compliments on how I look. They think "If I give her some compliments..maybe she'll sleep with me."
I agree with you about him calling you to tell you to be friends with benefits is very creepy. However, a lot of guys do that too. The guy I knew actually texted me, after I told him many times I wanted a relationship, and he say's "We don't need the relationship..you can just have all the benefits of it though." Rude right? Exactly! That's how many of them are. But, not ALL.
My whole point is!: You have to tell him as soon as possible that you don't want to be friends with benefits. I never did that until a while later because I didn't want to lose the friendship, which was my biggest mistake. If you don't tell him, he's not going to stop. So just simply tell him how you feel. And you can even add that you still want to remain friends.
Good luck!
Hope I helped :).
Feel free to inbox me if you need anymore advice.
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Q: I need a good place to sit down and talk with my friend. Were in 9th grade so we can't go drive somewhere but what are some general places you can talk to someone with no distraction?
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-Park
-Beach
-A random bench somewhere
-Coffee shop (order coffee and/or anything else you want. Then sit down and there will be no distractions. The reason I said a coffe shop was because I always go there to study and I always see others studying their too. You can go to places like Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, etc.)
Those are the top 4 places I would go. They're all very quiet and I'm sure you won't have any distractions.
Good luck, Hope I helped! :)
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Q: i was talking to a friend and she said i wasnt exciting.
it kinda really hurt my feelings.
cuz when im texting i guess im boring.
i was perfectly content with my life.
but now it like all changes. :/
any ways to be more exciting?
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I've had that said to me sometimes. Honestly, it's not like their doing anything to make the conversation more fun either. Obviously he/she doesn't know how to be exciting in a converstion either if he/she can't think of stuff to talk about also.
I usually just get over it. Mainly because, texting is not really the best way to communicate. If you feel that you're fine the way you are, then you are! Don't let a friend change your mind. If it gets boring, just stop texting them!
Way's to be more exciting?
Talk about a movie you've seen or want to see.
Talk about a cute guy, boyfriend, and/or crush.
Talk about problems.
Talk about clothes.
Talk about shopping.
Talk about school starting and having to wake up early :( haha.
You can pretty much talk about anything you want.
Just remember, be content with yourself.
Hope I helped :)
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Q: So my bestfriend just got a new boyfriend. When they first started going out they really didn't talk much and now he is her whole life. Which means she has forgotten about everyone else including me. We used to hang out all the time but I've only hung out with her twice this summer and both times she has blown me off for her boyfriend. He also isn't very nice to her and will ignore her and stuff. So i just want a nice way to tell her that her friends matter too but I don't want her to get mad at me. So any advice helps. Thank you!
14/f
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I know so many people in this type of situation. Some people get "blinded by love". It's stupid, but it does happen.
I can't guarantee you she won't get mad because sometimes they do get mad about it. But, that shouldn't discourage you from bringing it up. I mean, she's your friend! You have a right to hang out with her too!
This is a link to yahoo, where a similar question was asked:
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090713112536AAPKLgC
It may help you out.
But, try telling her how you feel..tell her that you feel left out and you miss hanging with her because she's always with her boyfriend. A true friend will make time for you !
Hope I helped! :)
Good luck.
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Q: This is a big deal. I have known this girl since we were five, and she was really drunk at a party. I helped her around and took her to the bathroom and stuff when she needed to puke, but I never did anything with/to her. My former friends were telling me I should, but she was waaaay too gone. I didn't. The next morning, they told her I took her clothes off and put my junk in her hand(for lack of a better way to say it, sorry). I got drunk the night before, but the most I did was thrust my pelvis near her. I had clothes on though, it wasn't a big deal. It was a joke. Now, she doesn't trust me and won't talk to me. Her friends, who were my really good friends, also won't talk to me. I told her I didn't do anything, but she doesn't really believe me. What do I do? What can I do?
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There's not much you can do if she won't believe you. All you can do is try! Try to get someone who was nearby (a "witness") to tell her what actually happend. You can't force her to believe what you're saying. Your friends obviously aren't good friends if they would do that to you.
If you can't find a "witness" to help out..try as hard as you can to convince her of what really happend. Say something like, "We've known eachother since we were 5. Do you honestly think I'd ever do that to you? Those guys are lying jerks who just find it funny to say stuff like that. I promise, I never did anything like that to you. I was helping you out that night when you were drunk. I don't why you'd ever think I'd do this. I can't force you to think differently. I guess if you want to believe them over me, then I can't change your mind.." or something like that. She should trust you if you've known eachother that long! If not, then I don't know what to tell you..because as I said, you can't force her mind to change.
Oh..and also, dump those friends of yours. Obviously they're jerks who find it funny to do this to there friends.
Good luck !
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Q:
I am 15 and me and my friend thought it would be funny, to say we were seeing each other to are year, we decided to do it even though I was having second thoughts, but my friend said its just a joke, but I thought of it at a test to see if people are homophobic at are school cause I thought most people are. My other friend told some people with out me realise, so she started the rumour and she told to girls and they come and said to me is it true and was just in shock so I didn't say anything. the rumour was (it has changed since, I’m not sure what is though) that me and my friend, a girl had kissed each other in the high street my shopping with another friend. the rumours spread like wild, by lunch time which was about after an hour after it was started everyone knew "the story" apart from my friends who knew the truth.
Then somebody who is a friend of a friend told someone it wasn't true. it was just before I was going to say that it had all been made up and people had added there own bits to the story. My friend who the rumour was about was shouted at when she had said nothing. I was just shouted it at just a second ago when I have said nothing either. i was also called a dyke, which I am not. What shall I do?
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First of all, you and your friend should have never started this in the first place. In school, rumor's are constantly changed to something worse because people are immature.
What those people are calling you is beyond rude. You're going to need to find a way out of this. Maybe try to get the message through everybody that it was just a joke.
But honestly..I really doubt people will believe it.
Rumor's don't last forever though. There really isn't an answer to this because no matter how many times you tell someone it was a joke, they will continue to believe the rumor that spread.
Good luck
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Q: Hi my name is Alexandra. I am 15 years old. And I started my period at the age of 12. When I was in 6th grade. And I've been have them normal but February 2009 I had my period and I didn't had my period until now May 14,2009. I touched myself...BUT NOT inside of my vagina. Will I get pregnant for doing that? I hope not... I don't want to be pregnant at the age of 15! I am too young! My parents would kill me! well just let me know if I am pregnant or not by doing that kind of stuff...by the way... remember, I DIDN'T TOUCH THE INSIDE OF MY VAGINA....ONLY THE OUTSIDE OF MY VAGINA!.
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You can't get pregnant unless you've actually had sex. Since all you did was touch yourself on the outside of your vagina, you're not pregnant (unless sexual contact with a guy). However, It wouldn't matter even if you touched the inside. You still need the sperm to meet the egg in order to be pregnant.
You're 15. Periods tend to be irregular very often. DON'T PANIC! If you're involved in sports..this happens often. It's actually not a big deal tp miss periods sometimes. My periods come at all different times. But, this can be due to stress too.
My suggestion for you is to make an appointment with your physician. It's probably nothing..but, you SHOULD get it checked out just to be safe. And, make sure you tell your mom of this so she can take you there.
Good luck :) Hope I helped!
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Q: well. this is the thing, theres this guy. he kept looking at me and we i saw him he always looked at me and looked like he was talking to me his friends. not in a bad way, i would never of thought he liked me sooo i went with that anyways. i thought he liked me and all, and i started to like him too. but then i saw that he started going out with his ex-girlfriend and NOW im like soo hurt. i dont even know if he liked me or thought that i liked him and thats why he was like looking at me and talking about me [i think he was]
signed.
hurt and confused
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I'm sorry that you're hurt and confused. Guy's claim to be "simple", but honestly, they really aren't. Yes, he could've been talking about you. But, you don't know that for sure. It doesn't mean that just because he stared a lot that he likes you. Some guys, even when they talk to there friends, just look up to check a girl out. Girls do the same thing. Yes, when we stare at guys sometimes..we like them. But, guys..they usually will stare at any girl they think is hot, pretty, and/or interesting in some way. Have you ever listened to a guys conversation when they see a good-looking girl? They usually start going on and on about how "hot" she is. Well, maybe he was doing that?
I know it can be hurtful to see that he is with his ex girlfriend again. But, you even said yourself. You never knew if he liked you in the first place. It's possible, as I said before, he just thought you were pretty and stared at you sometimes. I mean, it can be possible he did like you..but, he's with his ex girlfriend again. So, who knows?
Next time, try talking to a guy you like. Get to know him and everything. I'm not sure if you talked to this guy before or anything, but the best way to find out if someone is interested is to ASK or you can even have friends do it.
Remember: Guy's can't read minds!
Hope I helped! :)
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Q: 14/f
I have this very close guy friend of mine and for a little while we dated but it didn't work out. So now we're just super good friends. But lately things have gotten pretty serious and we've kissed and started showing affection towards each other even though were just friends. Just a couple of minutes ago we got off the phone from a seven hour talk into the early hours of the morning and honestly, I don't know what it is I want. I feel like we're meant to go out with each other because we share many of the same qualities and feel very strongly for each other. Although, the thing is, whenever I try picturing us together again I can never seem to see it working out or going well. I always see it as being awkward and painful like when we first began going out when we barely knew each other. Although I'm very hesitant about us dating there's one thing I know for sure: I love him and want only him. But there's just something about going out again that worries me. As friends, there's none of that stress that gets put on you when you're actually dating and forced to be commited. We're commited just fine as we are, but isn't dating the correct next step to further our relationship? Please, I know there's not much advice one can give for this but any would be greatly appreciated.
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Well, you both are obviously in to eachother. Just because it didn't work out the first time doesn't mean it won't ever work out again. You probably don't picture you both together because it didn't work out the first time..and you're worried that the same thing will happen again, leading to heartbreak on both ends (meaning you and the guy). Honestly, I think it's worth a try! I mean, you even said yourself, you have a lot in common, and you're great friends. You talk for hours on the phone, so, you're obviously comfortable with eachother. Dont' be afraid of being hurt, it happens to everyone throughout life. Stop thinking it's going to be "awkward and painful" again. That's what is stopping you from wanting to move forward. Talk to him, tell him how you feel. I see no reason why it wouldn't work out if you guy's have an awesome friendship like you have. And, if it doesn't work out this time, then you will understand that you both are only meant as friends. However, you're 14! You're sooo young. You have many years ahead of you. But, I can understand how you feel. It is confusing being with a guy friend, and trying to establish an actual relationship..meanwhile trying to maintain a friendship with him also. And, yes, the way to "move forward" is to date. My advice: Just try it! But, only if you feel comfortable enough to be with him.
Good luck! :)
Hope I helped you.
If you have anymore questions..feel free to inbox me. :)
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Q: Um okay I got these friends whO I've known since third grade there's names are Kayla, Tawnae, and Kozi well anyways Kayla is Tawnaes bff Tawnae is Kozi bff and Kozi is Kaylas bff but Kozi and Tawnae is my bffs [so where does that leave me?] anways... since we all went to highschool [were n 10th grade now] we kinda drifted apart like I hate Kayla not hate but I dnt like her and Tawnae is sometymey w| me nOw... anywho Kayla and Tawnae gO to the same school i dnt think there bff's anymore tho and me and Kozi live in they same neighborhood but its still kinda far to get to her house... im still try 2hold onto our frendshyp but I think its only hurtn me like I love these girls [no homo] should I let go or like do you haVe another way? O ps. I've tried to get us all to go to the movies but ppl are always busy or dnt wanna go or dnt wanna see that movie
HELP ME PLEASE !!!!
-Kidd Star
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It's up to you..honestly, you can try to bring them all back together..but in the end it may hurt you because they may get mad at you for forcing them together. However, you can't force people to be friends, which you probably know already. I know how it feels to lose a bunch of friends due to high school! People just forget about the past and their old friends. It's horrible, but it happens. If you want to go back to being friends again like you were, it's probably not going to be an easy process. I wouldn't go to the movies. Go somewhere that you can all talk, in the movies you can't socialize much or anything, which won't solve much. Try inviting them out to somewhere for lunch. You can even invite them over your house. I mean, it's hard when all of them say their busy, or don't feel like it..but, you can try just telling each of them you really want to talk. Make sure you don't let them know each of them is coming over though (only if you want to do that). I'm not saying this will DEFINITELY work out..but, if you want your friends back, anything is worth a try, right? If you do get all of them together, wherever you choose, bring up something that you guys used to do in the past. Good past memories are always something that help people remember the friendship that was once there. Try it! :)
Good luck, hope I helped!
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Q: 14/f
A very close friend of mine and I fooled around together two weeks ago, a week after he confessed his love to me. He was my first boyfriend. We made the mistake of going out when we didn't really know each other so once the relationship ended we decided to remain friends and became really close. I've never felt so close to someone before. Last week, a couple of days after we fooled around, he went to visit his family in Florida for a month and never even texted me once untill last night. After what we did and how close we were, you can imagine how hurt I was that he never even contacted me for a week. I felt like he did the "hit it and quit it" thing with me. So he finally texts me last night and we began talking about his trip, and the people when he happens to mention that he met his old girlfriend and that they had a super long hug together and that they missed each other and that he apparently "texts her all the time". The only thing that broke them up was him moving to Cali. I would have never done what we did with someone who I liked as "just a friend" so I finally asked him, "What are we?" and "What am I to you?" He said he didn't understand the question and then after a few seconds said that i was "a really close friend who knows him pretty freakin well lol". I feel really hurt right now because honestly...he said he loved me. Was I being used? What does he mean "I love you"? I feel like he just said it to take advantage but at the same time don't want to believe it because I really do think good of him...I really thought that I was more than a friend to him and...idk, I just feel...really really stupid. Stupid and hurt. So basically I'm sort of in need of any advice on how to handle this and basically how to address this problem of mine. I feel terrible because i really honestly thought he loved me. So yeah, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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The mistake you made was having sex with a good friend. Yes, although, you guys did go out for a little while and broke up, some guy do get bored with the relationship because they got what they wanted already. He obviously is not over his ex girlfriend at all. Maybe before you had sex you should've asked him questions abour himself. Anyway, he did pretty much use you. It's possible he didn't mean to, but he did. I know it hurts to just be called 'a friend' when you've had sex and stuff with the guy..but that's how some guys are. He seems like a good guy, but he's not ready for a relationship of any type. By him saying he texted his ex girlfriend all the time, and that they only broke up because he moved..is definitely a sign of him not being over her at all. I would talk to him in person, not texting, and tell him how you feel about the situation. He's probably not aware that you're angry that he views you as just a friend. When you talk to him make sure you mention about the whole sex thing, and his ex girlfriend stuff. If you want to still remain his friend, go ahead. It's not a bad thing. But, it may bother you because he hurt you. So you need to decide that. But, I would definitely talk to him if I was you. Let him know how you feel so you can get it off your chest, and let him know that he hurt you a lot.
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Q: 14/f
I find it very uncomfortable when people stare at my chest.... it makes me feel annoyed and kind of weirded out....
And this is not only with guys...for some reason I always see one of my friends in particular staring at my chest...it's extremly uncomfortable....I usually say "Hey, my face is up here" but she just laughs and then like awhile later she'll just stare at my chest again....no other girls do that and it's just really weird. And it's not only with low shirts, it's any kind of shirts. And NO, I'm 110% positive she is NOT a lesbian. So i don't know what I'm supposed to do...
What am I supposed to do to make her stop staring??
Thanks!!
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It happens to many people, including myself. Tell your friend that it makes you extremely uncomfortable when she's staring at your chest. Hopefully she'll understand and stop doing it.
Hope this helped!
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Q: Hey, i have this friend and she is not liked very much by other kids @ our skool! But she dosent know this. And everyone is always asking me why i am her friend. sometimes i dont stand up for her behind her back when people ask me that because, they think i am cool when i say i dont really like her when she is like my best friend! What do i do?? i like her alot BUT no one else does? ?
What do i do?? LOST AND CONFUSED?
sincerely: MMR
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Even though others don't like her in your school..you should still stand up for her if she's your best friend like you say she is. I wouldn't worry what others say. All that matters is what you think, not what they think about her.
Hope this helped.
Good luck :)
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bio
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Hi :)
I haven't been on much lately, but I'll try as much as possible.
I've always been good with giving advice.
I just enjoy helping others!
NO question is stupid to me.
I'm very honest and I answer any category!
Don't be shy; feel free to inbox me with any questions you need answered. :)
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Info
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Gender: Female Age: 20 Member Since: June 24, 2009 Answers: 210 Last Update: September 7, 2010 Visitors: 13565
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