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What am I to him?
14/f
A very close friend of mine and I fooled around together two weeks ago, a week after he confessed his love to me. He was my first boyfriend. We made the mistake of going out when we didn't really know each other so once the relationship ended we decided to remain friends and became really close. I've never felt so close to someone before. Last week, a couple of days after we fooled around, he went to visit his family in Florida for a month and never even texted me once untill last night. After what we did and how close we were, you can imagine how hurt I was that he never even contacted me for a week. I felt like he did the "hit it and quit it" thing with me. So he finally texts me last night and we began talking about his trip, and the people when he happens to mention that he met his old girlfriend and that they had a super long hug together and that they missed each other and that he apparently "texts her all the time". The only thing that broke them up was him moving to Cali. I would have never done what we did with someone who I liked as "just a friend" so I finally asked him, "What are we?" and "What am I to you?" He said he didn't understand the question and then after a few seconds said that i was "a really close friend who knows him pretty freakin well lol". I feel really hurt right now because honestly...he said he loved me. Was I being used? What does he mean "I love you"? I feel like he just said it to take advantage but at the same time don't want to believe it because I really do think good of him...I really thought that I was more than a friend to him and...idk, I just feel...really really stupid. Stupid and hurt. So basically I'm sort of in need of any advice on how to handle this and basically how to address this problem of mine. I feel terrible because i really honestly thought he loved me. So yeah, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I know you are hurt. What he did was really wrong. But you shouldn't let yourself be used and from what it seems like this boy only wants you for hook ups. I know that's horrible. Here's what I suggest, pick yourself up. Don't let this bother you anymore. You are young! and You will find other boys that treat you well, and text you when they should and show genuine interest in you. Honestly he is not worth your time! You should not allow yourself to be treated like this.
He told you that you are a really close friend... That indicates he doesn't want to be anything more at this time. And you shouldn't want to be anything more with this boy either. Honestly, move on, as hard as that is going to be. Go have fun with your friends. I can guarantee you will meet other boys.Don't let this boy use you.
Sometimes the people you think of the best can surprise you and show you their true characters. Which this boy seems to have done.
Don't feel stupid. Don't feel hurt. Know that you deserve better than this. Talk to this boy as a friend now, not even as a close friend just a friend. Move on. And just have fun. I cant emphasize this enough you are young... So enjoy being young. Forget him.
Hope you feel better.
Goodluck!
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The mistake you made was having sex with a good friend. Yes, although, you guys did go out for a little while and broke up, some guy do get bored with the relationship because they got what they wanted already. He obviously is not over his ex girlfriend at all. Maybe before you had sex you should've asked him questions abour himself. Anyway, he did pretty much use you. It's possible he didn't mean to, but he did. I know it hurts to just be called 'a friend' when you've had sex and stuff with the guy..but that's how some guys are. He seems like a good guy, but he's not ready for a relationship of any type. By him saying he texted his ex girlfriend all the time, and that they only broke up because he moved..is definitely a sign of him not being over her at all. I would talk to him in person, not texting, and tell him how you feel about the situation. He's probably not aware that you're angry that he views you as just a friend. When you talk to him make sure you mention about the whole sex thing, and his ex girlfriend stuff. If you want to still remain his friend, go ahead. It's not a bad thing. But, it may bother you because he hurt you. So you need to decide that. But, I would definitely talk to him if I was you. Let him know how you feel so you can get it off your chest, and let him know that he hurt you a lot.
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