So here goes:
My dad was in the military for a long time. Several decades you could say. So, my whole life, we'd move around to a new duty station every 2-4 years. I'm fifteen now and my dad finally retired. Now I'm living in my 'permanent house'.
But I'm coming up on my fifth anniversary of living here and I'm feeling antsy. Like, I feel like it's time to just get up and leave you know? This is the longest I've ever lived in one place...
I feel as though I've subconsciously already 'prepared' for the move that just isn't going to happen. I've had falling-outs with most of my friends and I've gone through and gotten rid of stuff in my room that I don't feel I need wherever we're going. But we aren't going anywhere. I stopped caring for my relationships for other people and so on a few months ago. And now looking back, I think it's because I figured I'd have a chance to start over in a new place. But I don't.
It's basically just that my mind I suppose thought I was leaving. But I'm not. So now my life is a mess and I don't know how to set it right.
Is there any way to break this cycle of 'preparing' to move?
Moving is something you have grown accustomed to as you have stated here but now you must live in one place for at least a few more years (you may move away after high school). Slowly you will find the idea of living in one place normal but for now you could really use this as an advantage. Your life is a clean slate, you need to meet new people and redecorate your room in a new way. Take this as an opportunity to improve yourself and your life, it will be a challenge but very rewarding if you commit yourself.
If you can, try to meet new people. Join a sports team, get a summer job, volunteer, or join some sort of a club. Maybe you`ll meet some new people that you never had gotten to know before. If you are into this you could give yourself a makeover before school starts again. Maybe get a new outfit and style your hair in a different way - as far as you want to take it. You can also work on your personality, build your self-confidence and let your true self shine through. You won`t have actually moved, but you can still enjoy the 'fresh start' opportunities.
Your room is a place that you can go to relax. You should make it welcoming and somewhere you feel comfortable. It`s time to settle in and make your room a place you enjoy spending time - you no longer need to worry about leaving it.
Once you really settle into your room and develop your personality and life you may never want to leave. Your old friends may be attracted back to you, if they`re not you really don`t need them. Reconnecting with them may take time but could be well worth it. Good luck, let me know if you need clarification on anything I said, or anymore help. =)
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ok well i have three bestfriends, and we're tryini to figure out a group name for ourselves. andrea lexy morgan & johnee.!!
A group name? You can use the first letters of your names to spell something. Or is there anything you all have in common? That could help. Or one letter from each of your names.
How about:
L-JAM
Mojo Lean
Lexan Mojo
AnMo LeJo
LexMo AnJo
MoAn JoLex
Haha well, those are interesting. Maybe if you tell me a bit more about yourselves, similarities, & what the name is for I could come up with better ideas. Hopefully something in there inspired you. Good luck! =)
ps: Anything with "Quad" could work too since you have four people.
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Well im 15 years old,and im a freshman.
I've got friends,its not like im friendless but it just seems like my friends don't consider me as important as everyone else.
Like they would consider me ,like a third wheel type thing.
And I used to think that i was just seeing things but im not just seeing things.
For example,everyone will be in a talking circle and someone will say something and everyone will listen and then when I say something,it will get completely ignored.
Also,not many people would actually call me and invite me somewhere,i'd kinda have to ask.
I think it's because im not involved in anything amazing like cheerleading or you know.
I also have never had a boyfriend,but im not that ugly,i think im just not that important.
And everyones smoking and i just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm also an only child so i kinda don't have older siblings to show me around.
Help please?
This may just develop into the least conventional advice I`ve ever given, but there`s a lot that you can do. First of all, you do NOT need to smoke or be a cheerleader to be attention worthy. This takes time, but you`ll need to strengthen your self confidence and self esteem. You sound quite secure, but pressure gets to everyone once in a while. Also, you sound like you don`t know if you`re good enough to get included by these acquaintances/friends. Well of course you are, but you`ll need to show off your best qualities in order to get them to notice.
You have to start by giving yourself and others something to like. Start by identifying what you like in a person (kind, outgoing, witty) and bring that out in yourself. Don`t worry about trying to act like something you`re not, you are going to be naturally attracted to the traits which you value most.. and what you value often defines you best. Look for idols, whether they are people you know, strangers, or celebrities in order to figure this out.
After you identify your best personality traits, you`ll need to show them off. You`ve got to be confident - love yourself. You`re not ugly, you aren`t a bad person.. so you have everything you need to work from. Look the best you can everyday, maintain proper hygiene, smile, engage others in conversation, and don`t worry what anyone thinks of you.
On that note, in order to be involved in conversation you`ll need charisma. You have to know that what you`re saying is WORTHY of being heard, so say it like you mean it. Your opinion deserves to be heard so go ahead and say it without worry. It won`t be long before you are being listened to. Just know that you deserve to be heard and the confidence will follow.
Being an only child as well, I know what you go through. But that`s exactly why you need people to look up to in your life. People you can admire. You`ll just have to be brave enough to try things out for yourself without following the lead of an older sibling. About the boyfriend thing, you`re probably better without one for the time being. Work on who you are, and worry about impressing a guy later. You`ll have tons of guys chasing after you once you are completely confident, so choose carefully.. never stay in a relationship that you aren`t comfortable with, of course. A boyfriend, more likely than not, will just add more problems.
I could go on forever about this, but just keep in mind that the most important part is confidence. Once you start to figure out who you truly are & feel good about it, everything else will follow. Good luck, if you need any clarification or more advice feel free to ask! =)
EDIT**
I`m not trying to say you`re not good enough for these people as you are. Sometimes you just need to step up to the challenge in order to improve yourself. Long after you move on from this, you`ll always have the confidence to get you where you want to be.
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Dear: Emilyy
(uk/f/14)
I don't know what to do, I have this friend who i've known since we were 4 (I'm now 14) and in primary school we were best friends. But when we reached secondary school she went to a private (or in america public) school and i went to a government funded (or state) school with almost everyone else in our year. Three years later i like to still consider ourselves "close" friends but recently (over the last 6 months or so) she has nearly always been flaking on me. I wouldn't mind that much, but the really upsetting thing is that she never lets me know when she's bailing out of somthing at the last minute.
One example was that a few weeks ago she was telling me how much we never see each other often enough. So one time so I invited her to come to my house for a sleepover next week and times, dates ect were all sorted. I bought food, rented a movie and made sure that my brother was out of the way! Then at 7 (or whatever time we had agreed to meet) she still wasn't there. So i gave her half an hour (just in case she was running late) and then i phoned her.
Me: Heya, are you ok? We were supposed to meet up like an hour ago.
Her: Oh... sorry i just feel a bit tired.... i'm going to have a early night..
Me: ........oh.. ok then...bye
Her: Bye
That was just one occasion, and the excuses always seem really fake like "oh i've got to finish something" or "i don't want my dog to feel lonely" Sometimes i wish that she would just be honest.
I feel very confused, is it that she is just not interested in me anymore? or does she feel like i'm not as important as her other friends (who happen to be rich and beautiful ect)?
Please give me some advice!?!? Thanks for listening and for your help xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ps: i would like to say that i think that this is an awesome site and thanks to all the people who spend their time helping others who need advice! xxx
Wow okay, this is a tough yet common situation. Sometimes it is just plain hard to keep in touch with even the closest of friends when you are going to different schools. I think, at some or another, everyone goes through a situation similar to this. It is great that you put so much care and effort into trying to be friends with her and make plans, as well as being concerned that she brushes you off. A good friend, such as yourself, does not deserve this. Your friend really needs to know that, while she may have new friends, still should devote time to you. I think you really need to say it right to her (stop by at her house? phone her?) and say you are worried that you are growing apart, and that you don`t like how she just brushes you off. Sometimes people just get caught up in new experiences, but that doesn`t give her a reason to forget all about you. Explain how you feel to her, and try to plan something (such as a sleepover at her house) where she can`t back out as easily. If all fails, let me know and I will be glad to give you more solutions. I hope she realizes she is growing apart from a good friend, and should not back out on you again. =)
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how do i get in contact with my friends cuz i want to hang out with them over hte summer.
but they are never online anymore!
what do i do? (im not a phone person at all)
You have a couple of options here, all you need to do is choose the one that`s best for you.
The most fun option is to do it through the mail. Send out pretty invitations and invite your friends over or out for lunch. Have a big get together that everyone will enjoy!
You could try emailing or messaging them and seeing what they are doing for the summer and if they would like to hang out.
If you do not want to try either of these you may need to pick up the phone. Call at a time when you know they will be away, and leave a message saying that you should hang out sometime.
You could always call the friend which you`re most comfortable talking to on the phone, and ask them to invite other people to hang out with the two of you.
If you can do it even once, then when you are hanging out you have the option to say "Wow, this has been fun we should do it again!" and set up even more plans.
Good luck, hopefully one of these options works out for you! =)
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Is it true that if a guy is staring at you and you look him in the eyes and his pupils are big or get big then he likes you as more than a friend ?
In my opinion, no. Your pupils get smaller in brighter light so that less light is let into your eye. When it is darker they dilate (get larger) to allow more light in so you can see.
However, there are many signs with 'body language' as well as flirting that will help you see if he likes you as more than a friend. If he always hugs you / jokes around / etc he probably likes you as more than a friend.
You could try asking him who he has a crush on and seeing if he gets embarassed (turns red, looks down, smiles, tries to change the subject).
Finally, if you always catching him looking at you and turning away he probably likes you.
Good luck! =)
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okay so for halloween, i was having a few friends over and we were going to go to six flags. but one of them couldnt go because she was already "going with her family" and 2 other ones bailed out the last minute to go with her. before we left to leave, i asked my friend why she invited the other 2 since we could've all gone together, and she flat out told me off and called me a b**** for not hanging out with them! now i admit that since high school started (we're freshman!) i've been busy. im in choir, dance, the school vb team, and soccer.. and well these 3, but mostly the 1st girl, really have nothing to do as far as extra-curricular. she's fat and often gives me trouble about how thin i am. i was very upset because we used to be real close, but i got over it and left ready to have fun. when we saw them there, they waved to the other girls and shot me dirty looks. now at school the main girl is getting people mad at me, but if i run into them or something, they ask me why im mad at them! i've found out that at least 6 people were mad at me, because this girl told them i was mad at them!! do you think she's just jealous or something? shes trying to make my life a living hell.. and it's only worked a tiny bit. she even told my boyfriend / bestfriend that im a slut, a b****, and possibly cheating on him!? well, i need advice on what to do, im trying to ignore it but i think i might be too shy to tell her off or anything! HELP!!!
Wow, I've had this happen to me. Honestly, you need to stop talking to them because this isn't going to stop. The longer you keep trying to be friends with them, the more you'll be hurt in the end. Highschool is the place where you can make friends will all sorts of people, so be nice to everyone. Don't try to take revenge on the girls. In the future, when you have friends and they dont (people catch on really fast when people are so rude) they will be very jealous of you.
It worked for me, so just keep your head up and try to make new friends. You won't regret it.
Good luck :) - Emilyy
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okay,i have a problem with this freind of mine who is always wlways correcting my spelling, punctuation, use of grammar. Its helpful but SO annoying, and she uses it to embarrass me ALL THE TIME. But shes my best friend.
I need Help.
-Jan
You have a few options.
Tell her you feel that she is putting you down and embarassing when she does it.
Do it back to her, she will learn quickly how annoying it is.
Ignore it. She will probably stop once she sees that you are not listening.
Good luck :)
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My two friends are mad at me because i hang out with someone they dont like? and they are treating me badly and i want to go to another school because of them! what should i do?
Ask them why they don't like the person. Tell them you do not want it to change anything with your friendship and that you care about them a lot.
Chances are they are jealous and do not want to lose your attention.
If things do not get sorted out, try keeping the friendship hidden. Unfortunately, sometimes you will lose friends in situations like this, so brace yourself.
Good luck
- Emilyy
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ok.. so im 15/female.. and most of my friends are girls with a few guy friends. whenever im around guys.. its like i want to talk to them, but then again, im afraid of what there going to think of me. i want them to like me and decide to be friends and everything.. but i dont know how to act so that they would think that i want to be friends! ive tried just forgetting everything and to be myself.. but then theres that feeling that im afraid of what they think of me! what should i do to be myself without that feeling? how can i get more guy friends?
The number one thing is confidence. If you like yourself you have a greater chance that people will like you too. Try putting on your favourite outfit, doing your hair (and makeup if you wear it) and looking nice.
Even if it is awkward at the begining you will become more comfortable around them and it will be natural. When you are feeling nervous just smile. Sometimes also you can just laugh and when they ask why you're laughing say you remembered something funny and explain something funny that happened (within the last two weeks or so) and it will start a conversation.
The number one way to get people to accept you is to be nice, so avoid gossiping when you are trying to make new friends.
You should try to call your friends one day (and get them to call everyone they know) and go swimming either at a pool or a beach if that's possible. You will get to know people better that way and it's a good way to become friends.
I hope something in what I wrote helped, if you have any other questions about this (or something else) just ask me and I'll try to help. I know what it's like trying to be friends with new people (and guys) since im 15/f too. After a while it all just becomes natural though so dont worry. :)
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I just moved in to a house in Lake Park, NC. I have lived here for a week and I like this girl that lives across the street. I don't have the nerve to ask her out. Can someone tell me a good way to ask her out.
Signed,
newkid
You could ask her if she could show you around the city (unless you already lived there and just moved into a new house).
Like everyone else has said, try saying hello when both of you are outside and inviting her to lunch. If you have a pet (such as a dog) they make good conversation starters.
Good luck :)
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My cousin is a big person, she's fat and big chested. Some of the clothes she wears are really inappropriate. Yesterday she had on something that looked like her boobs were going to fall out. What should I say to her about the way she dresses? At school she's just a big joke with all the boys. They called he Double D Lottay and stuff. So what should I do?
You could always try to go shopping with her (I saw someone already said this, it's really good idea) and pick out things and be like "Oh, I think this would look really good on you! What do you think of it?"
You may figure out why she dresses the way she does by her response. If she dislikes what you find is appropriate there is not much you can do. Chances are her style will change soon anyways!
Good luck! :)
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