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I dont know what to think
Well im 15 years old,and im a freshman.
I've got friends,its not like im friendless but it just seems like my friends don't consider me as important as everyone else.
Like they would consider me ,like a third wheel type thing.
And I used to think that i was just seeing things but im not just seeing things.
For example,everyone will be in a talking circle and someone will say something and everyone will listen and then when I say something,it will get completely ignored.
Also,not many people would actually call me and invite me somewhere,i'd kinda have to ask.
I think it's because im not involved in anything amazing like cheerleading or you know.
I also have never had a boyfriend,but im not that ugly,i think im just not that important.
And everyones smoking and i just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm also an only child so i kinda don't have older siblings to show me around.
Help please?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I'm a sophmore in highschool, and I can tell you that last year, was kind of a blur. I didnt find my real friends until this year. Don't worry about these "friends" because to me, they dont seem like true friends. Try not to get overwhelmed by this, everyone finds their niche and where they belong, you will too. I went through the same thing last year, and now, I have friends that I know will last a lifetime. Just dont try to fit in. That is the worst. You'll fit in where you are meant to. And please dont give into the peer pressures, it doesnt help.
Just be yourself, and you'll find your way. Just dont get overwhelmed.
Hope I've helped.
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This may just develop into the least conventional advice I`ve ever given, but there`s a lot that you can do. First of all, you do NOT need to smoke or be a cheerleader to be attention worthy. This takes time, but you`ll need to strengthen your self confidence and self esteem. You sound quite secure, but pressure gets to everyone once in a while. Also, you sound like you don`t know if you`re good enough to get included by these acquaintances/friends. Well of course you are, but you`ll need to show off your best qualities in order to get them to notice.
You have to start by giving yourself and others something to like. Start by identifying what you like in a person (kind, outgoing, witty) and bring that out in yourself. Don`t worry about trying to act like something you`re not, you are going to be naturally attracted to the traits which you value most.. and what you value often defines you best. Look for idols, whether they are people you know, strangers, or celebrities in order to figure this out.
After you identify your best personality traits, you`ll need to show them off. You`ve got to be confident - love yourself. You`re not ugly, you aren`t a bad person.. so you have everything you need to work from. Look the best you can everyday, maintain proper hygiene, smile, engage others in conversation, and don`t worry what anyone thinks of you.
On that note, in order to be involved in conversation you`ll need charisma. You have to know that what you`re saying is WORTHY of being heard, so say it like you mean it. Your opinion deserves to be heard so go ahead and say it without worry. It won`t be long before you are being listened to. Just know that you deserve to be heard and the confidence will follow.
Being an only child as well, I know what you go through. But that`s exactly why you need people to look up to in your life. People you can admire. You`ll just have to be brave enough to try things out for yourself without following the lead of an older sibling. About the boyfriend thing, you`re probably better without one for the time being. Work on who you are, and worry about impressing a guy later. You`ll have tons of guys chasing after you once you are completely confident, so choose carefully.. never stay in a relationship that you aren`t comfortable with, of course. A boyfriend, more likely than not, will just add more problems.
I could go on forever about this, but just keep in mind that the most important part is confidence. Once you start to figure out who you truly are & feel good about it, everything else will follow. Good luck, if you need any clarification or more advice feel free to ask! =)
EDIT**
I`m not trying to say you`re not good enough for these people as you are. Sometimes you just need to step up to the challenge in order to improve yourself. Long after you move on from this, you`ll always have the confidence to get you where you want to be.
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No worries, everyone feels left out at some point in there life.
Look, it's not a good feeling getting ignored, it hurts because you feel useless. But, let me tell you something. Sticking with those friends will not make you feel better. I would really try to find new friends. Now, before you say, I want to hang out with my old ones, look at how they treat you. Have they been treating you like this for a while or is it new?
Making new friends isn't hard, it's just time consuming. You could hang out with your old friends, just don't rely on them as much. Instead, talk to new people. Have conversations with other people and about things you know. You can definetly find someone that will care about what you have to say. Is it going to take long? Sure. But, won't you be happier when you have new, better friends that will include you in things. Yeah!
Look, for you high school is just starting, you will meet so many new people. Forget about if they are "popular" or not. Because trust me, the best friends are sometimes the least likely people you will consider.
Oh, and another thing. Do NOT get into the peer pressure of the smoking. It is a nastly habit and no friends are worth more than your health.
good luck.
BTW, I'm 16/f, junior in highschool and big sister to 3. So if you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer :)
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