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She's always flaking on me.....
Dear: Emilyy
(uk/f/14)
I don't know what to do, I have this friend who i've known since we were 4 (I'm now 14) and in primary school we were best friends. But when we reached secondary school she went to a private (or in america public) school and i went to a government funded (or state) school with almost everyone else in our year. Three years later i like to still consider ourselves "close" friends but recently (over the last 6 months or so) she has nearly always been flaking on me. I wouldn't mind that much, but the really upsetting thing is that she never lets me know when she's bailing out of somthing at the last minute.
One example was that a few weeks ago she was telling me how much we never see each other often enough. So one time so I invited her to come to my house for a sleepover next week and times, dates ect were all sorted. I bought food, rented a movie and made sure that my brother was out of the way! Then at 7 (or whatever time we had agreed to meet) she still wasn't there. So i gave her half an hour (just in case she was running late) and then i phoned her.
Me: Heya, are you ok? We were supposed to meet up like an hour ago.
Her: Oh... sorry i just feel a bit tired.... i'm going to have a early night..
Me: ........oh.. ok then...bye
Her: Bye
That was just one occasion, and the excuses always seem really fake like "oh i've got to finish something" or "i don't want my dog to feel lonely" Sometimes i wish that she would just be honest.
I feel very confused, is it that she is just not interested in me anymore? or does she feel like i'm not as important as her other friends (who happen to be rich and beautiful ect)?
Please give me some advice!?!? Thanks for listening and for your help xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ps: i would like to say that i think that this is an awesome site and thanks to all the people who spend their time helping others who need advice! xxx
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Wow okay, this is a tough yet common situation. Sometimes it is just plain hard to keep in touch with even the closest of friends when you are going to different schools. I think, at some or another, everyone goes through a situation similar to this. It is great that you put so much care and effort into trying to be friends with her and make plans, as well as being concerned that she brushes you off. A good friend, such as yourself, does not deserve this. Your friend really needs to know that, while she may have new friends, still should devote time to you. I think you really need to say it right to her (stop by at her house? phone her?) and say you are worried that you are growing apart, and that you don`t like how she just brushes you off. Sometimes people just get caught up in new experiences, but that doesn`t give her a reason to forget all about you. Explain how you feel to her, and try to plan something (such as a sleepover at her house) where she can`t back out as easily. If all fails, let me know and I will be glad to give you more solutions. I hope she realizes she is growing apart from a good friend, and should not back out on you again. =)
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