Saynotogymclass's advice column | Saynotogymclass's Advice About Friendship

askSaynotogymclass

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Female. I used to have a lot of best guy friends, we had this huge group. One guy got all of them in to drugs, now they spend their days getting stoned. They're so perverted now, they expect since I have big boobs that I`ll do things with them. I've fallen really hard for one guy, he's totally sweet and respects me, but I hear from everybody he does drugs too and he's not a virgin. (Keep in mind, were 13)

What should I do? Is this guy totally unsafe and wrong to be around?

Wow! You're body and your self esteem don't deserve to be subjected to this! They're ruining their childhood and chances are they will try to get you too as well! I would definitely not hang around these people. You'll find yourself in tough situations and it will be difficult for you. They don't even respect you for who you are! Find friends that treat their friends with as much respect as they treat their bodies.

This guy that you've fallen for is not a good idea at all. How can you trust everything he is saying if he could be on drugs?? And you're right, he could be dangerous to you.

Good luck and make the right choice!

Q: So I have these two friends, Shelly and Gina. You see, when I hang out with Shelly and Gina separately, we have alot of fun and there's no problems. But, whenever I hang out with them together, like all 3 of us, i totally feel like the third wheel and they leave me out. They're always walking away without me, hugging each other, and telling each other they're each others` best friends. Sometimes it feels like they don't even know I'm there! For example, we were shopping at Old Navy awhile ago and they kept trying on the same things and telling each other what to wear, but when I said I was gonna try something on or I liked something, they either totally ignored me or walked away. Also, people always seem to associate them with each other and invite both of them to things, but not me. I'm pretty sure Shelly is doing it purposely, but Gina probably isn't. This is really making me feel bad. And it's not like I can move on and hang out with my other friends, or hang out with them separetely all the time, because i take dance with them 5 days a week and that means we're all together ALL year long. Any advice on what I should do? Thanks.

You could make small comments like when they walk away go "hellooo? what about meee??". Or when they try on outfits just quietly ask them if it looks cute on you or if they have any suggestions. Make small comments to make them remember you're there!!

Q: hey arielle
wats up ? ? ?

havent seen you for like...2 hours

ok gotta go-see you tonite @ the movies

love ya,
...

I love you Alexa!

Q: Alright. I thought since my best friend is such a good friend id make a list of 100 reasons why your my best friend. Can someone give like 25? (its a girl) Thanks I RATE 5!

You raise me up when I'm down

You offer me a shoulder when no one else will

You listen to my problems but don't necessarily give me solutions

You support my decisions

You support my dreams

You assure me I have a chance with any guy even though I really don't

You know exactly what makes me feel better

Theres some for you! I'd be happy to give you more just leave one in my inbox!!

Q: Okay, My name is melissa, and i'm fifteen. Theres this guy at my school who keeps calling me fat. He says that i'm obese and that i should just stop eating!!! The problem is, that i'm 5,4 and i'm 105 pounds. I dont think that's fat, and all my friends say i'm stick thin....but, i dont know. If he calls me that, do other people think that? And...if not, how do i get him to stop?

Please help! I rate high!

~Melissa~

Isn't it sad? I would guess that you are not fat because i have a friend who is like your height and is 110. This girl is very thin. It's also hard to tell from your info because you could be muscular for all I know. You really shouldn't think anything of what this kid says!! He's maybe trying to get attention or annoy the heck out of you. You only have one life to live so don't spendit caring about if people "think" you're fat!! Just ignore him and maybe laugh with him. That will defeat the purpose of what he's treying to do!

Xo.:Ariele:.oX

Q: OK, One of my friends that I go out clubbing with is starting to annoy me. He is brilliant in every way, but everytime we go into the city, we take a taxi there and back and he always finds sneaky ways of getting out of paying for them.

For example, he'll say he'll just buy me a drink (and never does) or say he'll pay for it later, or just doesnt get out money to pay. Its starting to annoy me and it angers me.

We're going out again on Saturday but I need a way to make him realise that he has to pay and I'm not willing to, without seeming too petty.

Please give me advice!!

I'm sorta confused on this...i'm confused with lots of stuff! Whatever... DOn't bring money and then he'll have to pay for things. Just like reach into your pocket and say "I think I left my wallet on the counter!" or something. Then say "Can you pay to make up for all the other times?"

I'm not sure if thats what your asking but I hope you solve your problem!

Q: A couple of weeks ago I was invited to go to the NJ shore with one of my best friends, Sam. I was very excited...each of her siblings is bringing a friend, and she chose me to go for the week with her & her family! The date is August 13th-20th. Just today, however, she called me and was like "I just found out Catherine is coming too, is that all right?" Obviously I said yes...I wasn't going to be rude & tell her no. However Catherine is Sam's friend (their families are good friends too) and she does not go to my school. I have met her before, & she is very nice, but I really don't know her well. To be honest, I am not sure that I am so psyched to go anymore, because she is going to have Catherine there too. I know it sounds mean, & I have nothing against Catherine, but it just seemed rude that Sam never mentioned she would be there before. I am not sure if it is just her, or her entire family comeing (it is a very big house) so I don't know if it was like her mom who invited her or what. I honestly don't know if I want to go for a whole week anymore...I mean I am sure it would still be fun but it is just not the same. Do you think it is silly for me to be upset? Should I just go, or should I decline? I mean I still want to see the NJ shore & go to the beach & be with my friend, but it is just confusing now. Should I talk to her? If so what exactlu do I say? Sorry this is so long!

Just say "I thought it was just going to be me and you". If you're frind doesn't respond to that then I would just live with it. You may end up making a new friend! the Jersey shore is really nice and you are going during a good time so I would go! You'll have loads of fun even if someone else is there with you!

Q: i have a great friend who is turning 16 tomorro. he desserves a great little get together because hes soo nice and caring. him along with me and 5 other girls are really close and i want to do something for his birthday. (not a party, just a get together for 5-10 people)

i was thinking having us eat at a restaurant and of course my friend eats free..what do you think? what could we do after?

thank you

WEll you could go really casual and go iceskating or rollerskating after. You could go to an arcade. You could even just go back to the house, pop some popcorn and have an all night movie party with his favorite movies or whatever. Anything you do, will most definately be special!

Q: im 15 male and theres a girl i like but i don't know what to say to her

Just smile and make eye contact. If she doesn't get the picture then write a note or something.

Q: Ok, i'm going to a soccer camp, and it allows u an hour ansd a half for free time. since were not allowed to bring electronicts, i'm going to be so bored. I'm new on the soccer team that's hosting the camp, so what should i bring or do that can include some of the girls at the camp?

Bring this game called apples to apples. It's a really fun and hilarious game for lots of people.

Magazines are always good if you want to be by yourself!

Cards. Theres tons of card games that you can teach everyone!! Here are some: spoons, trash ,and BS.

HAVE FUN!!!

.:Arielle:.

Q: My friend Felicia just invited me over her house in like 30 minutes..the problem is, I don't want to go. I just don't feel like going...What excuse could I possibly use? I can't say my parents are making me go somewhere because they're both at work. I can't say I'm hanging out with friends because all my friends are out of town. Please help!

Tell her your depressed and not in the mood to hang. Make your voice sound depressed.

Q: I have two best friends, one is more in the "popular range" and I love her to death and I have the best of times when I hang out with her and some of her other friends. My other best friend isn't popular, and doesnt realy like popular people. She always listens to depressing music and acts a little like a slut now. She makes me feel guilty when I hang out with my other best friend. I dont wanna be best friends with her anymore but I dont know how to tell her. Any tips?

Just ask her first "Are you jealous when I hang out with [the other girl]?" You'll find that you don't need to tell her that you don't want to be friends with her. You'll maybe start to drift away from eachother. Don't tell her "I don't want to be friends" because she'll be depressed and have a horrible life. Maybe if she calls to ask to hang just pretend that you're busy nad when she realizes that you don't have time for her she'll maybe stop tyring. Or she might get mad. I dunno!!! I don't know your friend so it is hard to tell you what to do!

-I tried

Arielle ♥

Q: My best friend has a really bad headlice problem. At school you can see them all in her hair! and the problem is i dont like hugging her because i feel shes going to pass them onto me. What can i do please help?? Shes had them for ages since ive known her mabe even before that.
rate high thanks

Well she proably knows why you wont hug her. Just be friendly but still keep your distance. You might want to ask her to get them looked at because well, i dont know a whole lot about lice, but that seems like a long time to have lice ( depending how long u've known her). JUst, don't hug her cuz she WILL pass them on!!!

Q: Its my birthday in may, and i dont no what to do. Any ideas? my mum said garden party think that would be a good idea??
rate highxx

What's a garden party?? Well, i think pool parties are the best. Low stress, entertainment's all there, and you can just talk with your friends! If you don't have a pool, you can rent out a hotel's pool.

Q: My friend lets call her Ashleigh well Ashleigh always is assuming she is fat.. and she is gunna dye.. she is never thinking positive.. she is always thinking negative things about her self.. i really want to help her control her self.. she told me it's mostly b.c of her dad and brother..
her dad has cancer and doesn`nt have much time to live mayb 2 more years..hopefully god will help him and her brother just got released from jail.. and i feel bad for her..if you know ANY way for me to help her please tell me i will rate high if thats what you want

Meli

She does seem like she's got it pretty hard. I don't blame her. Keep trying to make her happy and support her. Having a good, caring friend at your side at hard times always helps. She'll forget about her life for a while while she's with you. Suggest therapy and maybe you could go with her to the sessions if she wanted you to.

*~Ari~*

Q: ok there is my two best friends we'll call them A and B! ok i have been best friends with A for a loooooong time and with B since 5th grade. ok my friends A and B have been hanging out a lot and im getting REALLY jelous b/c they dont really include me in a lot of things now. so my questions are... (i rate high)
1)Is this wrong for being jelous?...(and)
2)How can i tell them without them getting mad?

Thanks a bunch!

-*Marissa*-