Rosalina's advice column | Rosalina's Advice About Friendship

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Q: at summer camp my friend was the most popular one in our cabin i didnt know how she did it she is ssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooo tom boyish i dont know why she was so popular yes she is one of my best friends i just want to know how she was so popular so i can be like her next year

Popularity isn't something you can copy.
Tomboys are often popular with guys, and when girls and guys hang out together, they are seen as a good part of the group. However, trying to imitate her, by being tomboyish isn't going to help you much. If you're a girly-girl, and you like yourself for who you are, just be a little more confident and outgoing. The one place you could go wrong is by being whiny or clingy. Its not attractive.
So here's my Summer Camp Checklist:
1. Be Confident.
as Marilyn Monroe said, "The sexiest thing you can wear is confidence."
2. Be outgoing.
We all learned a lesson from "Confessions of a Wallflower" right?
3. Be yourself.
Because nobody wants a obviously fake friend, the same way nobody wants an obviously fake Prada.
4. Don't cling.
Clinging isn't always attractive in clothes either... Friendship has the same tendency. Only the healthiest friendships allow for some clinging.
5. Don't whine.
Unless you're over 21 and have a bunch of cheese around, don't whine. ;)
Kidding! But it is a pretty bad idea. Whiners aren't going to be part of the group... at least not at summer camp.
Rose
(How do I know? Honey, I work at one.)
(send me a private question... I don't want to reveal my location to the whole question answering group)

Q: 14/F
Okay, in first grade, I made a really good friend. In fourth grade (four years ago), I moved to another state. Me and my friend (let's call her Kat) were stripped away from each other.
When I moved, I met a new girl (let's call her Amy). Amy and I became very very very very very close over four years.
Now I'm about to move back to Kat's state, and I regret it a lot, because I'm making Amy cry.
Amy is actually mentally dependent on me, she literally tells me everything, and if she doesn't I can tell she's not telling me something.
Though I know she'll get over it eventually. I've been trying to introduce her to new people to befriend, but she's still attached to me.

Long story short-ish, I am going to move into Kat's house so I can go to a really good school. Which makes Amy even more depressed.

What should I do to make Amy cry less and make my parting easier for her?
(I'm an unfeeling monster, I realize. I know I won't cry. I've scolded myself for that. I know I have mental issues, but I keep them to myself)
Sorry times 50 billion for typing so much!!!!!!
Please help!

You're leaving Amy in body, but that doesn't mean you won't be friends. I've moved six times in my life (15f), and it never really gets easier.
You can't disappear completely from Amy's life; and if you think that you want to, you ARE an unfeeling monster! Luckily, in today's age, we have computers, and cell phones, and planes, trains and cars for visits.
Kat and Amy are two different kinds of friends. Make sure Amy knows that its not her you're leaving, its just the place. She will eventually meet someone new, but you should be there for her until she's ready to drift apart. Call/Text/Email/IM her after school every day for the first two weeks or so, then dwindle it to every other, then every three days, then twice a week, and so on. If you really want to stay close with her, then do so, but if not, break it slowly... like a drifting thing, not a "look I'm moving, and I don't care about you really, go kill yourself" way.

Q: My names Emily, and me and my friend, Katie are worried about my friend Lila. Shes been hanging out with this girl named Grace, who isnt a good influence and has bad reputation for doing things with guys that she deffinatly shouldnt be doing at our age.
She's becoming a bad influence on Lila. Lila's been going way too far with her boyfriend lately....and sending pictures to random guys. Theres even a video going around about Lila doing some things that she shouldnt be doing. She's starting to get a bad reputation. I dont want her to have a bad reputation, and also her reputation is starting to rub off on me. And everyone at the highschool knows her for her pictures and videos. Since we are starting highschool next year, i dont want to have a bad reputation because i hang out with her. Shes still my best friend though and i dont know what to do. Please help! Please e-mail me back as soon as possible. Thanks so much.

Take Lila aside and tell her straight up- what she's doing is NOT okay. Tell her that you love her a lot, and you don't want people getting the wrong idea of her. If she keeps doing what she's doing, tell her that you can't come to her defense if she's not coming to her own. Remind her that she could get icky diseases, or even get pregnant. Then give her a hug, and tell her you love her. Let her make her own choices, even if you don't agree.

Q: Hey, So I have Long Dark Brown hair an its curly like naturally an I was wanting to try something new. School is starting in a few weeks and I need a new style and maybe even a new color but I dont want any blonde like my friend told me a lighter shade of brown would look cute streeked into my hair. So yeah I was wondring is their any like type of treatment I can get done to my hair where it can cause it to be not as thick because my hair is extremly thick and I heard about an relaxer or something idk I dont wanna do it unless I have known someone thats done it before or can have some answers to what it will do like I dont wanna end up getting something to cause it to be not as thick then lose all my curls because um my mom would definetly kill me an I get payed tommorow an I rather do it without telling her an it look good rather then doing it an it looking terrible. So I need some CUTE hairstyles with how to do it steps, An different like stuff to use in thick hair or if an hair professional can do a treatment so it wont be as thick.

-Thank you so much-

:)

I know a friend of mine gets hers "thinned" with a razor cut... Its weird, but its like, where you can't see it, its cut differently.
Hairstylewise-
Leia buns-
part hair down the middle, then make two ponytails. you can braid them, or leave them unbraided, but make two buns on the side of your head. the higher they are, the more "preppy high style" they look. [Buns of any kind can be made by twisting the hair in the same direction around a ponytail]
Twisted Back-
make a low ponytail in back, then twist in one direction until the hair is tight, then clip to your head with a banana clip, or a claw clip.

Can you tell me a little more about your personal style? Its hard to reccommend styles for a stranger. :/

Q: ok so i have 2 really annoying friends. i mean i dont want them to not be my friends but they wont leave me alone. theres just mainly this one who i have been friends with for a year. and like shes never away from me. we ALWAYS have to hang out. she calls me at least 17 times a day. and she gets mad if i dont pick up. she comes to my house everyday. she lies about when shes getting picked up. i have to like pay for her like i have no choice. shes always pushing me around. and if i yell back at her she gets mad at me and wont talk to me. and i cant stand it when people are mad at me. but she gets mad over the stupidest things. im never away from her! liek if were just walking she'll just push me and if im like stop! shes like oohh you mad at me (puppy face) and im likes yeah! can you not push me?? then she walks away.. then like at the mall she'l lrandomly walk away and go somewhere.. and i will call her and be like where are you? and shes like in the store. im like yeah but where? and she'll be like in the front. and im liek well im jsut going to leave because your liek being really annoying. and like then like she constantly takes pictures of her on my phone then sends them to my computer which costs a dollar per picture. and like i had pictures of my crush and of me and my friends and she deleted them all and wont admit it but i know it was her. and then like she cant keep her mouth shut. and i feel so embarassed when im with her because she talks about people and like she says it soo loud. and liek in the mall there was a couple in front of us and shes like god these people are soo slow liek so loud. and then the guy is like sweetie let the people pass us. and hse even does with the elderly. and its just really annoying! but like she doesnt get it! and i tell her that its really annoying but like she wont stop!

and the other friend i have. lets call her friend 2. when you answer my question =D well she doesnt have her own life and obsesses over others. like i like this famous guy for like 6-7 years and now all of a sudden this year shes obsessed with him and like i have pictures of him and she jsut took them away and is like you cnat have these hes myne. and im like wtf? first of all your not gonna get him and you cant tell me who i can and can not like. and its really annoying. and like she gets so jealous. and like i was talking to her one day in the summer and were tlaking about guys and how i liked someone. and shes liek you know its gonna be hard for you to get a guy because you never made out with somebody. im like wtf? that doesnt matter. and shes like well you see you have no experience. and liek she just wont stop dissing you. and then like shes always like omg im soo fat and its just really annoying. and we tell her shes not. but she is. but then we stopped doing that and we just are to the point and say then just go on a friggen diet talking about it wont help you and your obesity! like she just wont shut up! and shes so controlling. like if im trying to have fun and i poke her or someting she'll be like oww! that really hurt! carissa stop! but then like she does it to me constantly. shes like treating us as if shes so mature and is our mother. and shes constantly saying that we look like shit and how she has to fix us and crap.and she just makes us look worse because shes ugly. and one day i was wearing uggs and and outfit from abercrombie and shes like eww why are you turning into one of those girls? and she like threw her gym clothes at me and is like go change. im like no! i like my outfit. and shes like you look like a slut! (and i was wearing sweats and a longsleeve shirt. im like wtf? liek shes so controlling! and nobody likes her.

i mean i dont want you guys to be liek oh dump both of them. because i mean everyone has their own possitive and negative traits. but i jsut dont want to be with friend number 1 constantly and i dont know about number 2. me and my "group" have kicked her out soooo many times but she wont leave us alone.

help.

Wow. okay.
I understand what you're thinking.
If you truly don't want to be friends with the first one anymore, make her angry, and don't attempt to make up with her. If you just need some time alone, tell her that you're going through some things you need to sort out on your own, and you don't want her to feel pressured to support you the whole time.
As for the second one, she seems like she needs a friend more than anyone. If you don't want to be her friend any longer, slowly inch out of her life, a little at a time, until you guys aren't really talking anymore. Don't just outright reject her, because she'll worm her way back in. SLOWLY push her out, and she won't realize its happening.
Well, I sound bitchy, but I'm sorry.
hope I helped
Rose

Q: Ok, me and my class are going on a big trip soon. We get to room with people that we want and there is four to a room. My best friend has another friend that never pays any attention to me. That is who we are rooming with. Me, my best friend, her other friend, and another one of our friends. My best friendsother firend acts like i never excsist and when me, her and my bff hang out neither pay any attention to me and i try to be a part of the conversation but they still exclude me. Wehave already tuned in our room papers so i cant change who i room with. I have t be with them both for a week and i dont want to be miserable on a trip that i should have be having fun at. I know that my bff's friend will exclude me and not pay any attention to me and when she does that my bff also does it. I know that they dont realize it but i have already talked to them and nothing about them is going to change. I want to have fun on the trip but i don't want to feel left out. Any suggestions? thanks!

this is so totally like my life. If you're stuck rooming with them, so be it, but if this girl is your bff, she shouldn't ignore you. I've seen that just ignoring her works. Ignore her, and she'll talk to you. Until then, really bond with your other friend. If that still doesn't work, pick a new friend, and get to know them.
I hope this helps!!!
Rosie

bio

Hey Peoples...
I'm a Pennsylvania girl plopped right down in the middle of the nowhere, and hating it.
I sing, act, write, read way too much, and I love my girls.
Currently SiNgLe, but I want someone.
I give okay advice, but I won't bullshit to you. If I don't know, I'll tell you straight up. I'm NOT going to sugarcoat answers, and if you rate me down, whatevs. WHO CARES. I'm not here to be the most popular collumnist. I'm here to give advice.
On that note,
Lots of Love
Rose