I love giving advice and I love helping others.
Gender: Female
Member Since: April 20, 2007
Answers: 97
Last Update: June 6, 2014
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Like all my friends are so much prettier then me. Like i have one who's super skinny and is just really random and fun. And then my other one is Just plain beautiful. it sucks because since i always hang out with them boys are always flirtin with them and they just look right over me. I hate it. Im like the second choice. Is there anything i can do to get boys to like me or be prettier?? (link)
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Have confidence. Seriously. Stop putting yourself in the back ground. Be confident that you are pretty because I am sure you are.
When boys are around don't sit in the background, because you think they're only interested in your friends. Interact with them.
Really the trick to this is to be confident in yourself. Don't compare yourself to your friends. Don't put yourself down.
Good luck!
:)
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14/f
A very close friend of mine and I fooled around together two weeks ago, a week after he confessed his love to me. He was my first boyfriend. We made the mistake of going out when we didn't really know each other so once the relationship ended we decided to remain friends and became really close. I've never felt so close to someone before. Last week, a couple of days after we fooled around, he went to visit his family in Florida for a month and never even texted me once untill last night. After what we did and how close we were, you can imagine how hurt I was that he never even contacted me for a week. I felt like he did the "hit it and quit it" thing with me. So he finally texts me last night and we began talking about his trip, and the people when he happens to mention that he met his old girlfriend and that they had a super long hug together and that they missed each other and that he apparently "texts her all the time". The only thing that broke them up was him moving to Cali. I would have never done what we did with someone who I liked as "just a friend" so I finally asked him, "What are we?" and "What am I to you?" He said he didn't understand the question and then after a few seconds said that i was "a really close friend who knows him pretty freakin well lol". I feel really hurt right now because honestly...he said he loved me. Was I being used? What does he mean "I love you"? I feel like he just said it to take advantage but at the same time don't want to believe it because I really do think good of him...I really thought that I was more than a friend to him and...idk, I just feel...really really stupid. Stupid and hurt. So basically I'm sort of in need of any advice on how to handle this and basically how to address this problem of mine. I feel terrible because i really honestly thought he loved me. So yeah, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (link)
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I know you are hurt. What he did was really wrong. But you shouldn't let yourself be used and from what it seems like this boy only wants you for hook ups. I know that's horrible. Here's what I suggest, pick yourself up. Don't let this bother you anymore. You are young! and You will find other boys that treat you well, and text you when they should and show genuine interest in you. Honestly he is not worth your time! You should not allow yourself to be treated like this.
He told you that you are a really close friend... That indicates he doesn't want to be anything more at this time. And you shouldn't want to be anything more with this boy either. Honestly, move on, as hard as that is going to be. Go have fun with your friends. I can guarantee you will meet other boys.Don't let this boy use you.
Sometimes the people you think of the best can surprise you and show you their true characters. Which this boy seems to have done.
Don't feel stupid. Don't feel hurt. Know that you deserve better than this. Talk to this boy as a friend now, not even as a close friend just a friend. Move on. And just have fun. I cant emphasize this enough you are young... So enjoy being young. Forget him.
Hope you feel better.
Goodluck!
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so me and my friends are playing tag and me and lindsay (friend) do rock paper scissor to see whoes it. i lose and i say that we were supposed to do 2 out of 3. she says only 1 round. so im ticked off. then helen (other friend) had a chance to tag lindsay but tagged me instead. (purpose) so now im mad. then i tag melissa(other friend: mel) and she tags helen. then helen tags me again while she had the chance to tag mel. Now i'm really mad and i storm off without a word. it was all on a friday and now its the weekend and ive never had a fight that long. this time im determined not to say sorry first like i used to. what should i do? im so confused and sad. when i consideer just not being friends anymore, i remember all the good times we had and i cry. also i don't know who im mad at really, linds or helen. oh, please help me. (link)
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Ok.I think you need to not worry so much about this, Its not something that would generally ruin friendships. I understand why you are mad, I think you need to talk to your friends about it and explain why you are mad and why you left. And tell them that them "ganging" up on you is not on. I'm not saying that you should apologize. I just think you should to talk to them about it calmly and explain how you are feeling to them.
Also I think that this is something minor and easily sorted so I don't see why you guys still cant be friends. But to me it seems that you and Helen may have an issue you need to sort out cause it seems like she was the one trying to anger you. I think Lindsay just really didn't want to be it.
Just in case though, if you guys do stop being friends, I just want you to know that you will make new friends. And sometimes the new friends are way better than the old friends. And its ok to remember the good times with your friends but don't let those keep you in a friendship you aren't happy in because you will have many more good times with new people, being in a friendship you aren't happy in is worst than not being friends with those people and having to move on.
But just talk to them and explain it and try not to let it bother you so much.
I hope it all works out! If you need anymore help let me know.
Goodluck!
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I hate this girl and my best friend knows it. Now, Gaby(my best friend) is saying that I'm talking trash about the girl i hate. after that Aubrey, (some other girl) is saying that I called her a backstabbing bitch. Lexi (someone else) is telling everyone I flipped Aubrey off, when I didn't!!! The only thing i said about Caitlyn is that I don't like her and that she betrayed me. What should I do??? (link)
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The best thing here is to talk to these people about it. First off Lexi, confront her about it, go to her and say something along the lines of, "Lexi, can I talk to you for a second, i've been hearing that you are telling people that I have been flipping Aubrey off... when I haven't." See what she says and go from there. Just make it clear to her that you did not flip Aubrey off and would like her to stop saying that you did. But what is important here is that you do it in a calm way. Don't make it a big deal. Stay calm and try not to get to angry.
Same thing with Aubrey, go up to her tell her she needs to stop talking about you and accusing you of things. Explain to her that you did no such thing.
Gaby is the one you need to have a serious conversation with. It all seemed to start with Gaby and she's supposed to be your best friend. Best friends don't act like this. Ask her if she has a problem with you hating the girl you hate. And ask her why she is talking "trash" to other people about things you haven't done/said. Communication is key here. Its what has been missing. Just remember stay calm.
Also if you don't want to have a confrontation this will blow over. You just have to leave it alone and not let it get to you. Which can be hard. But I do recommend talking to Gaby. Because a best friend should not have done what she did.
Choose your friends carefully and be careful who you tell things to. You know now that you may not be able to trust Gaby, Aubrey or Lexi.
I hope it works out! Let me know if you need any more help.
Oh and trust your instincts you know these girls better than I do!
Sorry this was so long!
Goodluck!
Don't stress to much! It will sort out! :)
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Me and my best friend got innto HUGE fight.. i wish we were friends agian but im sik of being the firts one to say soryy all the time so you get it? and she acts like she dont even care and stuff and we havnt ever gottin into this long of a fight our longest fight was like an hour its been 2 days and it was over somthing soooo stupid.. see what happen is i got online and she complains all the time in her pro like..im so sad or i cant trust n e one ect. you know and well i always tryed to make her happy well i got online saw her pro said i love him and i cant trust n eone and stuff well i asked who you like you can trust me i wont tell n e one and then out of no where she gets mad and starts yelling at me and durr im gonna get yelled back..it happend fast and the next thing you know shes telling me to get the fuck out of her life...((exact words..)) i mean usually when we fight i dont have to worry cuz the next day min or hour we are all good agian this one im realllly worried and dont know what to do and im sik of always be the one to say sorry first! she never says sorry to me and why should i say sorry for trying to make her happy? ahh what should i do... (link)
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Ok, I just have one question you say she is your best friend but she doesn't trust you? That doesn't really sound like a best friend. A best friend is some one who you trust and who trusts you.
Next this whole I always say sorry first is not healthy. If she was your true friend she'd be willing to compromise. I'm sorry you are sad and do not like being in this fight But maybe its for the best. You need to sort out your problems with her. I suggest talking to her and telling her that you are her friend and she needs to learn to trust you.That what she did with snapping at you when you were trying to make her happy is wrong. Also I stress this, TALK do not yell.
Ask her what the problem was. Half the time these fights are about other things. Talk to her.
I hope it all works out but really fights can be healthy don't be scared to tell her what you think. Just remember to be reasonable it is the only way things will get sorted.
Good luck!
:)
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Ok so last night mine and my sister's best friend spent the night and we decided we would write down all of our deepest darkest secrets that we havent even told each other or anyone about then we would read each others and when my friend read my list i felt so incredibly releived like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulder and now i feel like i can tell her anything and talk to her about anything but that scares me alot for some reason just knowing that if something happened she'd know and i guess just the fact that she knows pretty much everything about me now it kind of scares me ok well it scares me to death but i thought doing the whole read each others deepest darkest secerts would bring us closer i thought it'd be good for us knowing that we dotn have to hide things and keep things to ourselves why am i so scared? i mean shouldnt i be relieved and happy that we can share anything with each other? (link)
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The only reason you are feeling like this is because you worried. It takes a great amount of courage to open up completely like you did and the thing is that opening up like you did, must leave you with a sense of vulnerability.
Just try and remember that you weren't the only one who opened up completely. And that you both did. It should make you closer. You just need to trust her enough to know that your sister's best friend won't do anything to hurt you.Give it some time it will become easier for you and you should start to feel relieved.
I hope this helped.
:)
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Hi,
I really need some advice!
I met Claire two years ago, we became really good friends! We both had problems with our partners at the time (hers much, much worse than mine) so we confided each other and helped each other through it.
My boyfriend at the time really idolized her Husband (he's famous in the motor industry)I actually contacted them when I found out that he lived down the street. My boyfriend told me weeks before he'd seen this guy round town and was really star struck by him. I wrote a letter inviting them to a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend and left a present for their child. As I posted the letter they turned up and friendships were made from there..............................
As we were all English and in a new country we bonded really well. My boyfriend changed he started becoming a complete idiot and kissed her Husbands arse! Nobody could belive how much my boyfriend had changed, me especially. Whom was this person? It got to the point where I didn't recognize him anymore he had changed he was imitating her Husband. I thought we had problems before he came on the scene it was nothing compared to what was to follow. Their friendship was a big problem in our relationship. I got to the lowest point after being bullied and treated like crap for months, my health was bad and I lost allot of weight. Claire would tell me to leave him, I thought it was a faze and he would return to normal and realize he had been a complete idiot after all we had a great relationship for 18 month until this point.
He gave me HPV and I forgave him, and forgive him putting off my much needed surgery (as I said-my lowest point)for his needs. When I went to the doctors he diagnosed with Strep due to stress I ended the relationship that day, he was the only stress I had, I finally come to my senses! Claire could not belive the change in me, I was back to my old self not the dithering mess I'd become.
Not too long after my split Claire became that dithering mess, he bullied her in every sense of the way she was a wreck when I last saw her and so was their child. I had never seen her so low, wow! She had become the same person I was. We talked for hours and I told her she has to do what's best for her and her daughter. She wasn't eating, sleeping, she was a mess! She suspected him cheating. They went back to England and went to Counseling and things seemed to get a little better. They had good days and bad days though mostly bad which was a huge improvement to all bad. That's the way Claire seen it anyway.
My boyfriend at the time told me a secret about two months into our friendship with Claire he told me that Steve had been sleeping with lots of woman before he married (Claire had been with him for seven years before they married). I was in shock though not really, he had passed some choice comments in front of me and was a very, very arrogant man. The more Kathryn and I got close and accused him of having affairs the more I thought about the secret. Should I tell her? Should I forget it? I have told a friend before about her boyfriend cheating and lost her. So I felt like a liar, a cheat and now selfish. I chose to put it to the back of my mind. The sad thing about it is that if Claire knew it was happening to me she would tell me, I guarantee! I have trusted her with thing I haven't told any other soul as she has me. She told me things that if I repeated would destroy her Marriage. That's how strong of a friendship we have and how much trust we have in each other.
Claire is back in England with her husband, she just found out she is pregnant with her second child.(one of there biggest problems when I met them, she wanted another, he didn't)
I got a Voicemail from Claire this morning, she was really upset and said that she caught her husband in a very compromising situation last week. He left her and told everybody that he's left her as she is annoying him!?!?!? I know if he wants to get back with her he will manipulate the situation and she will belive him and makeup excuses for him, she justify's his usual behavior with depression, stress, and the latest Bi Polar disorder. I just think he's a narcissistic nasty excuse for a man whom treats his wife and daughter like crap.
My problem is I really don't know what to do I have been racked with guilt for the last year now and with the present situation I'm leaning toward telling her so she can finally rid him from her and her child's life. They both deserve much, much more. I really don't know what to do? I don't know if I'm being selfish by telling or I'm trying to rid myself of the guilt. I know it will hurt her allot, does she need to know?
Because of who he is I can't talk to anyone about this? Please, please help
Should I tell her or bury it again and live with the guilt?
(link)
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I think you should tell her,it will be good for you and her! Her confidence right now is probably low as her husband is blaming her for leaving,she probably does feel at fault for the marriage failing she needs to know that it is not her fault that he is the one in the wrong and she should leave him and give her and her daughter a better life, she already found him in a compromising position...That in itself is a queue to leave him and start a better life for her children.
Then she might be upset that you didn't tell her earlier, but just explain why you didn't want to, tell her you were scared you would loose her. Make it abundantly clear that you are there for her and that she is better off with out him.
Good luck!
I sincerely hope this works out!
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im 14 and im a freshman. so 4 years ago in fifth grade there was this guy. he was really cool although we never really talked. we've been in all the same classes since then and ive liked him ever sice. but he just kinda ignores me like im part of the background. maybe cause weve known eachother so long. what can i do to make him notice me??!
thanks (link)
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Talk to him! I'm sure he notices you, afterall you've been in the same class for so long. But in order to get someone interested in you, you have to become interested in them. Changing yourself seldom helps, stop trying to get their attention, just go and talk to him, and slowly become friends. Just have fun, and be yourself and talk to him! let the rest happen as it goes along.
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Okay, so theres this girl that ive known for a year. and shes likee the biggest drama queen. so about a week ago, she goes and takes something out of my bag after i got up to throw something out.
and i notice how shes trying to make a run for her seat since she was at my table. so i was like..why are you going through my stuff? do i have to put a lock on my bag so people dont take things? and shes like mimiking me the whole time and was likee "shut up. who cares" all that immature bullish.
so im likee okay whatever.
so then i hear her from across the room saying she wants to kick the sh*t out of me and i ignore it.
and for the past week shes been talking **** about me so i can hear her. shes sayin stuff like "shes so ugly and she has no friends" when its really the total opposite.
i dont know how to confront her or what to say to her when shes talking this crap. what would you say?
whats a really good thing to say that will make her not know what to say?
(link)
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Ok there are two ways to approach this situation, one you could ignore her and just always have fun with your friends! and once she sees its not getting to you, she might stop!
How ever if she carries on, then it is always best to just (when she is saying something about you or doing something to you) come out and confront her, ask her 'what her problem is.' and i find it funny how after a year she just suddenly starts acting like this to you, did something else happen between you two to cause this?
And if she starts putting you down well you confront her, I suggest saying something like 'stop being such a drama queen', or 'grow up!'... it shocks people like her, trust me I know! i've been through it!
Just confront her take a deep breath and ask her what her problem is. Be brave! Dont be afraid to speak your mind (you'll probably find people agree with you)
Just the most important thing, is to not get angry or give her a reaction its what she wants!!!!!
I hope the confrontation goes well, just remember to straight out ask her what her problem is and say what you want to say.
I hope it goes well! I really wish you all the luck! I hope I helped!
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this is a little confusing. ok so i used to be friends with benefits with my best guy friend. i told him i liked him the day he made out with a girl i hate that has gotten with all of my guy friends. so i was mad at my friend that he would fall for her too. so after that me and my friend stopped talking because i knew he was stressed out. so about a week later i was joking around with another friend and said that i did things with my guy friend which was true but my friends believed me that i was joking. well my guy friend found out and started screaming at me even after i apologized about 5 times and told him that our friends think its not true. so again we stopped talking. it's been 2 weeks and today i asked him why he stopped talking to me because even though i lost a lot of respect for him over these past 3 weeks i still want to keep our friendship. he said that he stopped talking to me because he lost trust for me. i know i shouldn't have said what i did but i sincerely apologized for it and i said it because i was mad at him. is it totally rediculous to think that i shouldn't be responsible for this? i really am sorry but i wouldn't have said anything if he didn't kiss that girl after deciding to start a friends with benefits relationship with me and after his girlfriend had just broken up with him. oh yeah by the way...after telling his ex how much he wanted her back then he goes and makes out with the girl in front of his ex, then goes back to his ex and asks her to go back out with him. is this too confusing? am i totally wrong thinking that he was disrespectful to his ex? why won't he get over something that happened three weeks ago after i apologized everyday for a week? (link)
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I think you are both wrong. He should stop using girls and what he did to his ex was wrong. You have aplogised and I think give him some space and then just explain to him that you were angry and being stupid when you said that.admitting you were silly generally helps someone to forgive and forget.
Then i suggest you stop being friends with benefits with him. It just creates problems.
Hope it all works out.
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every time my frind whants to break up with some one she calls me to do it and then the boys which are my friens they get mad at me because they think i told her to break up with them how do i stop this and get my friends back (link)
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you need stand up for yourself and say no to your friend. She should be doing the breaking up herself.Thats the only way you are going to put a stop to this. and explain to your guy friends that she asked you to break up with them for her.
Hope it all works out!
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ok so basically iv wrote a question similar to this one but not really.. One of my close friends that i knew since 6th grade. Well i started to like him last year, and i have been liking him ever since. Heres the weird thing though. Every time i think bout him he pops up out of no where. Just like this.
1: When me and my friend were walking home i was thinking about him and then like 2 minutes later he drove right past us and yelled HEY
2:One morning i was thinking i wonder wut hes doin i got outside and there he was across the street from where i live playing basket ball
3:When i had a slide show on my computer of my family and friends all the pictures were fine, but when the picture of him came up my computer froze. Of all of the pictures to freeze on
4: When me and my friend were going to walk to the corner store i saw no one outside walking, then i was thinkin oh we are going to walk right past his house, then a couple of seconds later i heard foot steps from behind me and it was him walkin up behind me tryin to scare me.
5: I also always see him in the hall way and the thing is that i never did until i started to like him
This is really weird and it happens all of the time.. wut does this mean is something tellin me something??
help me out (link)
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lol! That is a bit weird! Personally i believe in fate! and lol maybe you should consider telling him you like him or see what happens.
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(17/f) I made a friend a few months ago, a guy who seemed a little shy but was surprisingly friendly and very nice. We texted each other sometimes, flirted a little, and helped each other out in class (we're in percussion together and have to move around a lot of instruments.) Everything was more or less fine... until I realized that I didn't really want to be just friends any more. I tried to ignore it because I assumed he wasn't interested, although I did tell one of our other classmates. I was finally starting to deal with it and move on when he suddenly and pretty randomly stopped speaking to me. Now any time I say hi he just looks at me, and we haven't talked in a couple of weeks. I asked the girl in our class who I'd gone to before if she had told him what I said and she insists that she didn't. I just really want to know what it is that went wrong. Any ideas? (link)
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The only way you are going to find out what is wrong, is if you ask him yourself. Be straight with him- ask what happened that is making him act like that all of a sudden. Also I dont see why he would ignore you if he find out you liked him, surely if he didn't return the feelings he'd just tell you. Talk to him and see what went wrong.
Hope it all works out!
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Im going to the movies with a bunch of my friends, and my boyfriend's friends. Everyone has a date they're going with and my friend Ali is totally flipping out because I told her I can't sit by her at the movies. I promised my other friend, Beth, that I would sit by her. My boyfriend Dane is sitting on the other side of me so I can't sit by both Ali and Beth.
I really think it's totally stupid that Ali is making a big deal over who I sit by, but she's one of my best friends and she feels like I like Beth more than her and she thinks she'll be so left out at the movies.
I need some way to make Ali happy, because I don't want everything at the movies ruined. (link)
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It sounds like Ali is feeling a bit left out. You shouldn't decide before hand who sits where. Maybe get Ali to sit next to beth that way you're in close range.
Since this is a date thing and Ali should have a date then who sits where shouldn't be a big issue. Just don't stress about it, don't bring it up and just see what happens. If Ali is still being funny when you go out then talk to her about it telling her what you feel.
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