I am totally honest i tell it like it is and if you dont like it im sorry but im not going to sugar coat answers to make you feel better i want to tell people the truth and tell them what i think is right so if you find that what i say is mean or not helpful just give me a low rating and move on but please dont be rude after all i did answer you question even if its not what you wanna hear just take the time to appreciate. Feel free to message me thank you :) (L)
Website: Pavans website E-mail: pavandyal@live.ca Gender: Female Location: Canada Surrey B.C Occupation: care aid Age: 21 Member Since: May 28, 2006 Answers: 1037 Last Update: September 19, 2016 Visitors: 47284
Main Categories: Fashion and Styles Friendship Families View All
|
| |
Sorry if this gets long, but I REALLY need advice... And yes, I've asked questions about this before but this one is a little different.
Me and my friend, lets call her Amy, have been friends for 5 years now. We have a lot of differences. For example, I'm born and raised small town girl from Wisconsin and she's a more wealthy girly girl from the Chicago suburbs.
I think I should also mention that Amy's father has a drinking problem, and recently has been having a huge effect on her family as he moved out and I think her parents are getting divorced.
Amy had never treated me very well. She used to make me do stuff like eat her spit, make fun of me, rarely took my wants/feelings into account, and all sorts of mean stuff.
I stayed her friend because she was the only one who would hang out with me at the time, and I was to young and naive to realize how mean she was. Though it wasn't all her being mean, we do have quite a few good memories. Which if it weren't for those good memories, the occasional fun times we have now and her home life, I probably wouldn't be talking to her at all.
We've gotten into many fights over the years, but after a while we'd always end up friends again.
But the last few years she's gotten much better in some ways, she doesn't do a lot of the things she used to, but she still calls me dumb a lot and is still, at times, not as nice as a friend should be. She will make me do stuff I don't want and deliberately do things I hate just to make me mad. And because of it I tend to resent her.
I have another friend, lets call her Sophie. We where friends since diapers. We went to the same church and our older brothers where friends. But around middle school, we never hung out really at all, we'd say hi and talk at church activity's, but never much else than that.
But when I started doing stuff with Amy, Sophie became her friend too. And we all three hung out a lot together for like, 2 years. But then Sophie realized how mean Amy was she would stand up for me, but then stopped hanging out with us as much over time before never hanging out with Amy at all because she doesn't like Amy much anymore.
(And yes, me and Sophie did tell her about how mean she was a couple times(I remember one time in particular where she left crying, but we worked it out. But she didn't change much at the time and, as you know, is still mean on occasion.)
A few months ago Amy started this huge thing over something really stupid, I don't even remember what it was about anymore. Just that it involved Sophie(they've had their own fights in the past), and I had started to hang out with Sophie by myself more.
I remained calm and just told her that she was welcome at my house when she wanted and left it at that. For a month she barely contacted me much at all, just a few phone calls here and there to ask what I was doing or tell me about a Youtube video she thought was funny.
(I'm homeschooled and she when to public school with Sophie, so I was used to her calling me first because I never knew if she had plans, and I was never doing anything since they where basically my only friends)
After the month, her mom was having a garage sale and my mom wanted to go so I asked her when it was and told her I was coming to it, and when we went there she asked if I wanted to stay the night and I did. We where friends again after that. But we've never hung out nearly as much as we used too since.
As time has gone on since then, we hung out a few times. But I've noticed she's changed. She even cheated on her boyfriend because he 'didn't talk to her as much and it wasn't as fun anymore', and is basically from what I've seen/heard, is turning into a...sl*t. Not only in that regard, she just a different person almost. Yeah she somewhat acts the same, but she's doing stuff I wouldn't imagine she ever would.
Our interests have also differed over time and between our different personality's and how she used to/still treats me, just being in a room with her for more than a few hours drives me crazy most of the time.
When she asks me to do stuff with her I usually don't say no, but I rarely ask her to go anywhere or do anything because I don't really want to.
But because of what's happening with her family my mom always wants me to hang out with her. Even though I usually hang out with Sophie all the time.
But now to the real question.
I'm now in 4-H Club with Sophie and one of her friends that I've hung out with a few times and we often go to her farm because we are showing her calves at the County Fair in two months. But since the fair's so soon and we just started working with our cows, we have to go there a lot to get them ready for the fair.
And Sophie wants to go there with me this weekend and work with our calves and go Mud Bogging(which I've never done and I really want to). But My mom is all but forcing me to call Amy and make plans with her this weekend, even though I don't know if I even want to hang out with her at all anymore.
(I do like and care for her, but I'm sick of her behavior and attitude to everything. But I don't really mind hanging out with her, but I don't like to too much...)
But I feel like I should because of what is happening with her family and is why my mom wants me too.
But I'd MUCH rather go to my other friends farm with Sophie.
I don't like drama with conflicting plans as that has happened way to many times with Sophie and Amy. I just want to keep it simple.
I tend to hope that one doesn't call when I'm with the other one. As Sophie gets annoyed because she says Amy says she's to good for me at school and tells me about all these bad things she's doing.(Which I don't necessarily believe, but I give her the benefit of the doubt, as I could see Amy saying/doing those things) And Amy just...I don't know... half the time you can tell she's mad even if she doesn't say anything, and sometimes she'll even start things like she did before and others she'll be strangely okay with it.
Basically what I'm asking is, should I go to the farm with Sophie, or should I make plans with Amy instead? Or should I cut contact with Amy all together?
If you can I'd also like some advice on what to do with Amy in the future.... just literally ANY advice would help... (link)
|
It seems like you don\'t really want to be friends with Amy in which case you shouldn\'t. Friendship only works when both people are happy with it and your not. If you have to be forced to hang out with someone its probably best you don\'t. The one thing I\'ve learned is to only hang out with people who make you feel good and happy. I think you should go to the farm with Sophie she clearly is someone you like hanging out with and enjoy spending time with so that\'s who you should be with.
|
We moved in with my parents about a year ago so we could save some serious money for our future. When we got settled in my mom started cooking A LOT and has been piling up our plates. My GF went along with it and started eating A LOT. She started to put on A LOT of weight. Then about 6 months later I watched her start wearing slippers and stretch pants instead of jeans and heels. By now I've put on weight too. So, I talked to my GF privately last night:
Me: Hey honey, I feel like I'm getting fat. Wanna start dieting with me? GF: I think you're confusing "fat" with "happy" we're living like royalty.
Not sure what's going on, but it's weird. On the other hand, our savings account is not laughable anymore. (link)
|
she\'s just a lot happier and is getting comfortable theirs nothing wrong with that however if you have a problem maybe its time to move out? or you can talk to your gf or mom about making healthier meals for you that will probably convince her to eat healthier to.
|
i am from africa… am actually spanish btw…ok… so…this guy… Ricky… umm… he is kinda diffrent from my other brothers friends… whenever he sees me he hugs me… he is totally hot and just yesterday wen i was pissed he hugged me for a very long time to comfort me… i dnt think he likes me tht way… coz earlier wen we were teasd he said she is my best friend's sister i cannot like her. My best friend has a brother in his class as well and he treats her exactly the same… well better… as in he started huggin her first… but she doesnt feel the same way that i do… so here is my question! How am i supposed to get over this guy?? btw i already tried ignorin him but he is ALWAYS with my brother and for some reason he ALWAYS sees me! (link)
|
Just ask him to stop hugging you or possibly try not to come in front of him in other words ignore him which I know isnt nice but I dont think you have any other option if he doesnt like you he doesnt you cant change that, therefore the best thing to do is keep yourself busy mayb hang out with other guys and try to get over him.
|
I have this friend named Austin and we're very close friends. One day his father told him not to talk to me anymore and Austin me that. We're thinking of ideas where we can talk again. Does anyone have any ideas? (link)
|
Well you could get a secret place to meet thats far away from his house so his dad wont see you or you could talk on the internet or even at school.
|
hi i'm in 8th grade and a girl anyway i have this best guy friend who's in 8th grade too and ive known him for about 8 months now. he has suffered 3 losses. (his grandma, grandpa, & uncle) he told me he was close to his grandparents. im not exactly sure how long ago they passed away but i know it's not very recent. he is a good guy and seems happy but he's told me that sometimes his smiles are fake. it's like he hides his real emotions sometimes from everyone else except me. he has said that i've brought out the “emo” in him. i guess cuz he's never had an emo friend before. but it's not like im sad all the time. and he like hides himself in a glass case and somehow i manged to get through it quite easily. my question is though how can i help him through his losses? i personally haven't lost a loved one yet and dont exactly how it feels but i can only try and imagine half of how it feels. i would really appreciate some advice for how to help him get through this thanks. -sorry this was long (link)
|
Just sit him down and tell him to tell you how he feels let him open up to you and express his feelings letting go of emotions is the best way to get over losing someone so make him do that and encourage him to move on and think of his future and not his past and explain to him that in life your going to lose a lot of people but thats just a part of life you have to be strong and deal with it or else you will completely break down.
|
My best friend handed me her yearbook today to sign. We're seniors and so this will be our last school year together. She's been a great friend for the past few years and I love her to death. What do I write in her yearbook though? I want something really good but I'm not coming up with any decent ideas that aren't commonly used or complete BS. I told her I needed time to write out something good and that I'd bring it by her house this weekend. Please, give me some help. (link)
|
look up a good friendship quote and write that it will be unique and you two can look back at it and remember it and your friendship it can kinda be symbolic also you can say something about your friendship that is unique or a word or phrase that only you two know that is special just write something different like that so it makes your friendship seem special. :)
|
Okay so about 6 months agon me and my best friend were on the run together. Then when we got caught we werent allowed to talk while we were in rehab because our parents think were too co dependant! Well now that we are both out our parents say we have to take things slow and im still not able to see her yet! it sucks because all our friends either have to hang out with only one of us because of it, And our friend summer which is our other bestfriends birthday is soon and only one of us can go! If you knew how close the 3 of us were you would understand how hard this is. Me leighanne and summer are like the three amigas! lol. But this sucks so bad I just want my bes friend back in my life now. She is everything to me :( (link)
|
maybe you can convince your parents to let them come over and hang out at your house i know it doesnt seem to fun but i mean your parents shouldnt have a problem with it because you'll be under there supervision so they know you wont do anything stupid or maybe you could go over to one of the other girls houses either way i think the best way to convince your parents into letting you 3 hang out is hanging out under supervision for awhile to gain back there trust. Give it time things will get better. :)
|
Help I need advice. One of my best friends we will call her Jen, is very rude sometimes. She will say things in round about ways that are very hurtful. For instance: We had a neighbor steal something from us that I had not noticed missing for a year. I had talked to the neighbor and Jen said the neighbor must have thought i was a real dumb ass for not seeing it was missing after a year/ Also the last time we all went out she was very attacking of me from my perfume to my religion. Its also the language She told my friend that her daughter was gonna grow up to be a real #@! like hers. My friends daughter is 7. what bothers me is that i feel like i dont trust her because she later throws up mean things because this is how she really feels.. The dumb comment happened today I am really hurt because I am far from dumb. And if that the way she feels about me why I am I her friend (link)
|
I think your her friend because somewehere deep inside you feel shes a good friend and despite all that she says she must be but if you dont like the things she says or just dont like being around her then tell her how you feel and if she continues to attack you then tell her you cant be friends with her i think thats the only way to get through this situation. Good luck :)
|
to start me and my ex went out 2 times the second time we broke up badly and since then were great friends.
hes been really close latley :
- hanging out with my group ( even when he hates my friends)
- finding ways to get me to hug him
-bugging me ( poking, sitting so hes some how touching me.)
-finding ways to spend time/talk to me ( going to my mates party and on the bus) ect.
and just little things saying how nice i look as aswell as bagging me out lol
once he found out i wasnt going to the party he suddenly dropped out lol
and even today i found "i love gabi" written on his arm.
im not sure what to do.
yeah i like him ALOT but i dont want to be hurt again.
btw im 14/f
any help PLEASE xx thanks (link)
|
I think you should give him one more chance it seems like he really likes you and if it doesnt work and they hey thats okay its not gonna be the end of the world everyone has bad breakups in there life but you just move on so i think you should give him a chance maybe things could really work out for you both. :D
|
By the way for the great advice on my last question but now something has happened that I need advice on more than that. Ok I'm was friends with this one girl and she was awesome I loved her to death! She failed school so I went to high school before her. We didn't get to talk much after that but we were still very close. A while went by until yesterday. She and her brother (which I was also good friends with) were in the car with their mom. I do't know whybut they swerved or lost control or something and all three of them died. I am deeply depressed now and every object in this world reminds me more and more of them. I haven't stopped thinking about her and her brother since it happened. I couldn't even sleep because I couldn't stop crying. I don't want to forget but I want to get my mind off of it. Do you have any advice at all??? If you don't thats ok. At least you tryed but it's just so depressing. Thanks! ="}
CrazyRandumChick (link)
|
Its always hard when you lose someone i suggest just hanging out with friends or doing something you like to keep yourself busy im sure if you keep yourself busy doing things you like you wont think about them too much or another way to feel better about what happened is just wait until everyone is out of your house go to your room turn your music up and just cry and scream once your done you will feel better and you wont feel like crying and then you can start doing what you like doing again and not be so emotional like this anymore. I hope this helps Good luck :D
|
hi, its kathleen20. thank you so much for your answer. do yuo have a unanswered question? i would love to help u out (link)
|
Hi np and no sorry i dont but if i do i will ask you :D
|
my best friend really likes this guy, and she never told me that she liked him, so i had no idea! And now she like hates me because, i started liking him. She thinks that i started liking him just to piss her off, and that's not true! How am i supposed to convince her that i had no idea she liked him? (link)
|
Just tell her if she doesnt believe you shes not a very good friend because a good friend always trusts her friend tell her she told you she didnt like him so you thought it was okay to like him and that if she had told you before then you wouldnt even have considered liking him so basically its not your fault and if she doesnt listen then w.e you dont need a friend like her that doesnt trust you who knows maybe in the future she will blame you or accuse you of doing something else you didnt mean to.
|
17/f. My relationship with my best friend is just getting worse and worse. Last year she did something most people would consider unforgivable and never look back. I however, forgave her. Ever since then our friendship has deterioated. I mean I don't know maybe not... Do best friends call eachother everyday or no? Because we hardly ever talk on the phone. In the past 6 months things had gotten worse, when she developed an eating disorder that almost killed her and I hated the boy she liked(whom also is largely responsible for the eating disorder) now, even though she had an eating disorder, our friendship was getting better. We went on some trips together and had a lot of fun. However, now she has recently been put in rehab and cam no longer attend
school. ..I thought this would make things better, honestly. I assumed she'd be lonely and call me more frequently. That is not the case however. We really rarely even text constantly anymore. Since she is gone, I have become much closer with other friends and do tend to forget about her sometimes. It's weird though.. Because I don't get who she is talking to because she literally only has one other friend besides me. I just don't know what to do or how to handle the situation. I don't necessarily want to lose her as a friend.. But I'm just not sure I don't know :/ (link)
|
Well sometime when you don't stay in contact with a good friend for awhile the friendship starts to sink and you tend to just break away from each other its natural and it happens a lot so your not a lone you two have definitely been through a lot but i mean if you dont talk anymore or hang and youve moved on to different friends i guess your friendship has kinda ended and i dont think you have to worry about just like you she will make new friends and meet new people and move on and who knows maybe you will become friends again but then again you might not you just never know so just go with the floe concentrate and hang out with your friends today dont worry or think about her until she actually comes to you and talks to you or calls you or w.e until she does just live your life.
|
Well...my best friend and I have been bests for years but lately things have changed. Since she has gone out with this weird emo guy and I found out she hadn't been a virgin for the last few years I have been a bit twitchy towards it.
But now, I have found that I don't want to be around her. When she comes up to me...I feel annoyed. When she tries to talk to me all the time, i don't want to say anything. Can somebody explain why this is happening because I have no idea why i don't want anything to do with her.
I thought it might be because she is clingy. Rings up every weekend and tries to wait for me after every class in school. Could this be the reason but it doesn't seem big enough to inflict what i feel on our relationship..
HELP!!!!! (link)
|
Maybe you just dont feel comfortable around her anymore because you feel she's changed as a person and isnt the same person you were friends with before and thats a big enough reason to affect your friendship i think if you dont like being around her and dont like talking to her you should tell her in a nice honest way that you just cant be friends with her because you just dont feel comfortable around her and you just dont think you have anything in common or that shes just not the same i think if you tell her nicely she will understand and who knows maybe you can go from being best friends to just school peer type friends who just say hi and talk once in awhile.
|
I have everything planned for my sweet 16 party except I don't have any idea what to do about my invitations. Could you tell me what you did for yours? I want to get them done professionally but I want everyone to know that they came from my heaart if you know what I mean?
I will SO rate you! (link)
|
What i did for mine was i got my invitations done professionaly and baked cupcakes and decorated them and gave one to each person with each invitation that way people know you actually care and actually took the time out to personalize each and every invitation people were really happy when they got my invitations and really knew how much there frienship means to me.
|
Ok, so my friend, let's call her Jamie. Well Jamie was over at my house and we were sort of being rude to my neighbor, let's call him Chase. So Chase is bipolar so at first he knew we were just kidding, then he got really mad and flipped us off. We got mad and went inside. We came out to apoligize and I said to Jamie, "Say sorry with me" and she didn't want to! And I said to just apoligize and she threatened to go home and I let her because I knew that I couldn't make her say sorry. Then as she went home I chased her down the block and I said "Jamie. Why did you leave? I said you didn't have to say sorry." and she didn't respond. Then she was all like " I'll say sorry in fifth hour!" and I said "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. But why are you leaving now that you don't have to say anything?" she didn't respond and she just turned around and left! What do I do? Jamie is a good friend. I don't want to loose her. (link)
|
Call her or send her a message online and invite her over and talk to her and tell her that shes a good friend that you dont want to lose im sure once she hears how you feel about your friendship. Besides it wasnt like a huge fight so she doesnt really have a reason to be mad you didnt really do anything wrong im sure she'll come around again just give her time.
|
Today I realized that my social security card, driver's lisence and bank card are all gone. None of them are in my purse anymore and they're the only things missing. My purse is either next to me (even at home) or locked in my locker at work. The only time I can think of that I didn't have my purse right by my side is when I was at a friend of mine's house a few days ago for a bon fire. It was me and my boyfriend and her and her boyfriend. I contemplated leaving it inside or taking it out with me but figured that I was with my friends so it was safe. My friend went inside because she had been fighting with her boyfriend and that's the only time that I can think of that my purse has been around someone else and not me at the same time. I feel horrible for thinking that she could have taken them from me but there's no other possible way that just those 3 things that are the most important things I had in the purse are all missing at once. I called her and asked if she had seen them and she immediately said that she had just cleaned her entire house even scrubbed the walls and didn't see it anywhere. She then went on to talk about how she had just recently lost her credit card and Id as well. I don't know what to think right now, any advice? I already canceled my card but don't know where I should go from here. Someone has my social security number right now and all I can think about is all of my student loans! Any advice about what to do about the missing items or about my friend would be greatly appreciated. Thanks (link)
|
Well i guess you should tell the police about your social security card because you really need that or go to the office where you got your security card and signed up for it and talk to them im sure they can help you out.
|
I am a 16 year old female. There is a guy I like but he hardly talksto me sould just forget about it or should I talk to him more? (link)
|
You should talk to him because if you dont you wont get to know him and besides if you dont you might regret it later on so defintely go for it. :D
|
F/13
I just met a new friend this year. I thought she was amazing. Except she is kinda strange b/c she dresses emo and goth but says she's not. She also is OBSESSED with tokio hotel and hellboy. And it gets sooooooo anoying b/c she talks about them all the time. So she also told me in the beginning of the year that alot of ppl turn on her b/c they think she's wierd and gets really mean. And I was like "that could never happen with us. Well be friends forever." boy was I wrong. We always had fights. One day we'd be friends and then the next we'd be enemies. So one day I was walking home with my friend and he asked to have her number. I told him I'd have to ask her first. So the next day I was joking around and told her I gave him her number. So then she said.....and I quote....."so I don't care" so then I gave it to him. Then the next day she was all mad at me. Cussing me out, talking about me behind my back, pushing me out of her way in the halls. She just is such a jerk. Then one time....since she's obsessed with tokio hotel I was telling her that bill looked like a girl. So then she says "OMG NO HE DOESNT!!!!! If he looks like a girl then that means you look like a boy." so then our friend Mariah told her the EXACT SAME THING. And then she replies "I kno seriously. He needs to change his image" and I was standing there lik WTF So what should I do???????should I stay friends with the basterd or try to fix the friendship?????? (link)
|
end it shes obviously not nice and seems a little bitchy so i think you should just let her be and move on and meet new friends i meant why fight all the time when you could spend your time having friend with your real friends. Besides if she was a true friend she wouldnt be doing all that she does to you. So end it now before it gets worse which it can. Good luck :D
|
20/F
I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We have two very close friends who have been dating for a while. We go to parties at their house fairly often. When I get drunk, I'm very open, and I have showed my boobs a few times (I know it's bad). The thing is, I do these things because I was raped, and in a weird way it makes me feel like I have control again. It's hard to understand unless you've been through the same thing.
Anyway, my boyfriend was cool with that, but lately my male friend has been asking to see them A LOT. Him and his girlfriend are in a very open relationship, so she doesn't care. Lately, though, he'll walk up without asking in the middle of a room full of people at the party and pull my shirt and bra down. He always pulls me on his lap and says that if I wasn't with my boyfriend, him and his girl would have been all over me and that if me and my boyfriend break up I better come to them first. I know this is all my fault because I laugh when I'm nervous and I have a problem saying no, but it's starting to bother both me and my boyfriend. The last time we were at a party, I was so drunk I could barely walk and I was walking to the couch and he grabbed me, pushed my head down, and acted like he was having sex with me. I would try to talk to him about this, but he's a big guy, very short tempered, and has a house full of guns and weapons. The last time a girl told him she wasn't okay with the way he acts, he got really upset, so I'm really afraid to say anything. The thing is, he knows I was raped, so I don't understand why he acts like this sometimes.
I know it's my fault, you don't have to tell me that, but is there any way I can ask him to stop without him getting mad? He takes everything to heart, and if I said I'm uncomfortable with it, it would be pretty bad. (link)
|
well then you should talk to the police if it gets that bad because he needs to learn he cant do this to girls its wrong and this way he will learn the only way to change a person is to give them a life lesson and his would be getting involved with the law if he stops thats great and if he threatens to hurt you in anyway then tell the cops its the only way to get out of this.
|
|