Boochie's advice column | Boochie's Advice About Friendship

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Q: okay so my old friends are stupid so im making a new clique or a new group of friends. but what is IT that people like about the LEADER of the clique?

when i talk about the LEADER of the clique i mean like the head person. the person everyone wants to be around. how do you become that person?

i need the most help i can get. please help meeeee. thanks in advance :)

My suggestion is not making a clique, but to be friends with everyone, its so much more fun because you have all these friends and you dont get into many fights. and if your are in a fight with someone you will always have another friend. i know thats not what you wanted to hear, but i think its a good idea becaue thats what i did and im much happier now.

hope i helped some

--natalie

Q: i cant get comfortable with some people! like people make an effort to be my friend, but sometimes i dunno why.. maybe i just dont feel comfortable or something but its a little hard to be myself. im a nice person, who will always give a hand, and im really outgoing once you get to know me, and im comfortable around you. but i'd like to be more like.. lighthearted or whatever, so i can get into relationships faster.. because some people may get bored or something because of me being kinda shyish because im not really used to them being my friend. what do i do????????? i dun like dis.

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure--which is:
Try to please everybody.

that is a quote, it has helped me because you dont have to impress everyone else. everyone loves a person who has there own personality and if you dont care what other people think your personality can shine through and more people will be around you.
hope i helped

--natalie

Q: My friend has a cut on her face. I asked her how she got it, but she refused to tell me. I asked her a few more times after that but gave up because she said she couldn't say.

What I am scared is that she's cutting herself, or that her parents are abusive. I can't think of anything other than that, that would be so bad you wouldn't want to tell anyone (or be allowed to). I first thought it was her cat that scratched her but I think she would have told me.

OR.. maybe its really nothing bad and she's just looking for attention. But aside from all of that--what should I do? I am really worried about her and wish I knew why and how she got the cut. (Its a scrape, on her face)

You could either ask her and if she does tell you MAKE SURE TO TELL SOMEONE. if she is suicidal you NEED to tell someone because if you dont your friend could actually do it and she would be gone forever. she might be seeking for attention if that the case tell her that its a serious deal, and you shouldnt be worrying me by just trying to get attention. thats what i would do. but if she doesnt tell you then thats her problem, because you cant make her tell you.
i hope i helped

--natalie.

Q: Are we best friends or not? We have known each other since I was 2 and she was 3. We see each other almost every week, and have play dates and go on trips together. We get along very well but we randomly fight. Now she is in a higher grade and in a different school. That means we don't get to see eachother very much any more. And that stinks! Her b-day is next week and we are going ice-skating. So are we still bff (Best Friends Forever)??????????????

Yeah definitley. i think so. and if i didnt help you could always just ask her if your that much of good friends.

--natalie

Q: 20/m
I have known this girl for quite sometime now and we are best friends and we've been best friends for a while now. I really feel like I am truly in love with her. I would do any thing for her and any thing to be with her. She means more to me than anything in the world. I would die for her. I feel like shes the only one in the world who understands me and the only one who I am ment for. But the thing is that we are just friends. I've never done the slightest thing with her. I've liked her since I became friends with her. I don't know what to do. She's all I ever think about. And the worst part is I know for a fact that she doesn't want to be with me because she doesn't want to lose such a good friendship. Shes the only person on the planet that I've never gotten into a fight with. I want to be with her so bad what do I do?

You definently need to let her know your true feelings. She might not return the feelings but atleast she'll know where you're at. Hey, she might be touched by your words and start to want to be with you. But seriously, tell her your feelings!

Try my adive, it will work!

Q: I am 29 yrs old. I dont have any friends.I have a wonderful boyfriend who is very outgoing and confident.Every now and then he says I need to make some friends. I cant. What do I do, call some girl up and say will you be my friend?? How cheesy. I go out with him where his friends hang out but no one engages conversation with me.They do for a minute then go. I am an attractive person that is not the problem. But how does someone who was abused as a child, not allowed to have friends, phonecalls or sleepovers, and a 10 year marriage where I was not allowed to work or have friends, change and get friendships. It seems so out of reach for me.Help!!!

whenever you are out and about just socialize. see someone at the grocery store engage in a conversation about something. if you have a kid and are takin him/her to a daycare talk to one of the moms.someone will like you and perhaps even ask you out for lunch as a friend.

Q: me and my group of friends with a new girl this year..now shes a part of our group. its been about 5 months since we've been friends, and now she said that she used to cut herself and sometimes gets drunk. im not like that at all. i think thats really bad. i dont want to be peer preasured. i really like her.. whaddo i do?

Okay this is what you do, just confront her about it. tell her that you really care about her and you dont want her to get hurt. she will hopefully understand. ive gone through that situation and i confronted her and it worked.

Q: well my problem is that i have this friend and she is older then me and in a higher grade and she does everything like me, i cut my hair, she did it the same way, i dyed it and messed up and she dyed it and tryed to get it look the same, i want to be a photographer and she said too me she wanted to be a fashion designer and now she says she wants to be a photographer. i am skinnyish and she is kinda bigger and she said she wants to go on a crash diet(which i told her was very bad) to get skinnyer. i don't want to hurt her feeling but i want her to stop and be her own person. I'm not sure if this helps but me and her liked the same boy, and that boy asked me out and i asked her if it was ok to go out with him and she said yes. So maybe she is trying to be like me to get to him, but please give me some ideas to stop this, irs getting really annoying.

I understand exactly what you're going through! I have this friend who always tries to act like me! And yeah its the most annoying thing ever! You need to talk to her about it. It might hurt her but if you two are friends then she should be okay about it. I confronted my friend and we're still friends except now, we're two different people.

Good Luck!

bio

hi. my name is natalie, im 17 and im really good advice giver, all my friends say so. I've been through a lot so i can probably relate to you. Ask me anything, i wont judge or laugh just be honest.

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure--which is:
Try to please everybody.

really just express yourself and dont care about what others think, its a waste of time and they're opinion is not as important as yours.

i truly hope i can help.

_natalie_