Hey everyone Im a 15 year old girl in highschool and I need some advice. My used to be best friend recently started getting drunk about a month into our freshman year. At first she started talking about it and I got really mad at her for even thinking about it. I made her promise not to go drinking and promised me she wouldn't. Then I here on homecomming that she drank before the dance with some of my other friends but I just assumed that she was acting crazy at the dance, not actually drunk. I had to hear from SOMEONE ELSE that she drank. So indtead of confronting her I gave her a complete silent treatment for 3 weeks. She finally wrote me a note saying how she was sorry how she messed up our friendship, how we used to be best friends, how shes an idiot, how shell never drink again and stuff like that. I decided to forgive her a few days later. So time went on and we were cool, but then like 4 days ago i found out she FOR SURE was drinking over the weekend. Then today I found out shes planning to go get drunk this weekend. Ive stopped talking to her since i found out she drank last weekend. Am I doing something wrong? How do I handle this? Do i talk to her? I care about her soooooo much. she also has a problem with being taken advantage of by boys. Her mom has cancer, her dads an ex meth user. She keeps trying to work things out with me but I always brush her off. Sometimes im pretty nasty w/ her. Theres more sides to the story, but i think im running out of room so i'll stop. Thanks for taking the time to read this...
BHKchick
The reason it sounds like she drinks is because she is either depressed or she wants to rebel for some reason. If you start up drama by getting mad at her for drinking, it's not helping. When people are depressed, they drink. You could unconsciously be part of the cause of the ONGOING problem. You need to lay off. You aren't her mom. Let her have her fun. You can't just tell someone something. They have to actually go through the consequences. So let her get in trouble with the police or her parents (although they don't seem like they would care). It's the only way she will learn.
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My friend's birthday is coming up. She'll be 15. I asked her what she wanted and she said she wants me to kiss her (we aren't going out). I only see her once a day at school and we just hug, say hi, and go eat at our different tables. She said she wants me to kiss her on the lips. When and how should I kiss my friend?
i think she seems a bit stalker-ish, but oh well. Kiss her when it feels like the right time. Ya, i know thats cheesy, but its true. As far as how; I wouldn't try to make it too romantic. she seemd like she would get clingy and automatically think you 2 were "meant to be". What would be even worse would be if she thought u two were 'together'. Well anyways, close your eyes and don't go in for the tounge.
Ex's and Oh's
brittany
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my best friend bethany iz 12 and had SEX with a 14 year old and might be pregnant she asked me to help her but i dint know what to do!-H-E-L-P- PLZ
wow! 12? if i were you, i would try to stay out of it. but if you really wanna help her, make sure she gets a pregnancy test. Also, if it comes out positive, it is better to tell her parents sooner than later. If she is preg. then not matter what her parents will find out eventually.
Ex's and Oh's
-brittany
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im 13/f and ive been getting really close with this guy in my grade, like friend ship close. and hes been opening up to me and told me he cuts and i cut to. so weve been talking and im really afraid and i want to stop him from cutting but i dont know what to do.. any suggestions??
oo and theres another problem with this guy.. people have been telling me that we should go out because we talk on the phone for hours and we know each other inside and out, but hes hung up on this one girl like really really hung up on her but shes totally wrong for him and we both know that. is there any way i can help him get over her?
(by the way, i have never cut. i just know alot about this stuff because my friends dad is a psycologist and many of my frinds cut. =])
Its nearly impossible to stop a person from cutting. Beleive me, I've tried it several times. Everytime I give it a try, they can't stay clean for over a few weeks. Ive noticed that the main reasons for cutting are: family issues, friend issues, or bf/gf problems. He can't really even decide that he doesn't want to cut anymore. Once he starts the habit, whenever something bad happens, he will allways know that cutting is an option.
But there is a way you can help. Try to keep him away from negativity. Same as yourself, you should also stay away from negative things. Even wearing black can contribute to a negative outlook on life. If you have a more positive life, your mind won't need emotional support from cutting.
I don't think it would be very good to have a boyfriend that cuts as well as you. Two negatives only make a positive in math. (lol, yeah, a stupid joke i just thought of). What Im trying to say is if you 2 go out, you will always be miserable because 2 sad people together isnt the best thing. by the way, just since your friends say you two go out doesnt mean you have to. Decide for yourself if you like him. Also remember that with love there is heartbreak. This might ruin your friendship once you 2 break up. Keep that in mind.
- but, to get him over her, just be more flirty with him. This will distract him from her.
Ex's and Oh's
-brittany
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Lizzie Gracie and Nermonie are in a big fight. Nermonie and Gracie are on the same side. Nermonie got a hold of Lizzie's diary and photocopied the page that had all the guys she'd love to date on it then made flyers with her biggest secrets and that list and handed them out to everyone in our grade. It didn't stop there. Nermonie and Gracie made a rumor that Lizzie and her sister masterbate together and finger each other. Everytime Lizzie walks down the halls all the guys hold up a finger and say " Hey Liz, we worship you, " or something like " Finger your sister latley? " Its gotten way outta hand. I asked gracie what her deal was, and she said " Nothing, Lizzie didnt do anything. I just dont like her" Lizzie is my best friends, and I wanna help her. She cries everyday, shes sucha strong person, and very sweet to everyone, but with everyone giving her the dirty looks, holding up the fingering sign, talking bad about her to her face she just cant take it.
I wanna know what I should do to help, everynight I called her and she cries to me for hours about what somebody did to her that day. How can I end this, she never did anything. Please help
Do not recomend her to get back at them. As far as I can tell, Gracie and Nermonie will go to any length to get her mad. It's totally fine that she cries about it after school, just make a suggestion that as sad as it may seem, people want her to get pissed at them and cry about it.
Make sure she laughs about it in public. Let people think they are laughing with her, not at her. If you do that, beleive me, the teasing will stop a lot quicker.
Most importantly, whenever she walks by the mean girls, tell her to not give them dirty looks. If she gives them dirty looks they will think that it is pissing her off and affecting her... but if she doesn't give dirty looks, they will think that she doesn't care, so they will stop putting out her secrets because it won't be as fun anymore.
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Okay well I'm 13 and I'm in the 7th grade and I'm worried about my friend. Okay shes pretty much drop-dead gorgeous and could get any guy she wants. Well I mean she's not like a slut or anything (Okay she kissed her ex boyfriend(corey) 4 times he was her first kiss ... and then shes made out with her current boyfriend once. ).
Anyways she has had family problems. She has two little sisters and they get favored and her mom pretty much yells at her 24/7 and ignores her all the time.
Then recently, about 2 weeks ago, she went to her neighbors house(AJ) and Corey was there. Well Corey grabbed her and she was sitting on him ..., hes like really muscular so she couldn't get away, anyways Corey started rubbing her body and then AJ's like on top of her and hes unhooking her bra. She finally got away and ran into the bathroom and Corey comes in and he was all like awwl hilary i'm sorry for being a jerk i'll help you. So Hilary believed him and he ended up unhooking it again. This kept on happening she was there for about 2 hours.
So shes pretty tramatized from that and her mom. Well to make things worse her mom was yelling at her Tuesday night and she wasn't really paying attention because she hates being yelled at. Her dad then asked her if she was paying attention and she was like it's kinda hard not to dad when shes screaming at me. Then her dad comes over and punches her jaw(and her neck cracked).
Now Hilary is one of my bffae and I don't know what to say to her to help her or anything. Please help me on what I can do for this situation to help her out.
Ohh and we were going to call child abuse people if her dad hit her again.
Both her AND you shouldn't be around them unless your in public. If you are a great friend, then if you know shes going to their house for some reason, go with her, and bring something to defend yourself. NOT like a gun or knife, but like rings on your fingers for defense. Basically one choice is to be her bodygaurd.
Another that requires less defending and more offense is going straight up to ONE of the guys in public and "talk" to him. Don't play the nice girl card, be mean. Don't ASK if he can stop; DEMAND that he stops and never does it again.
Or there is always a less involed approach. Simply always be there for her if she is having nightmares and such about the incidents involving her parents or the rape. Let her know it will never happen again and everything will get better soon.
As far as her dad goes, you pretty much did all you could do by reporting him in if he hits her again.
-brittany
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I have been best friends with these two people for years now. Us three have always been good friends. But recently they have met someone else who they have been hanging out with a lot. She is a really nice girl, but it seems like my two best friends are trying to replace me with her because whenever she will do something that I do, like tell a funny story or wear my hair a certain way, they will always laugh more with her, or notice that she wore her hair differently. Every single day I make a huge effort to include myself, but it seems like they always end up with the other girl. Since us four have PE together, they always go to the other girl to be partners with. I have talked to both of my friends numerous times about this problem, but they both don't seem to make an effort to include me. I really wish things could go back to old times because we had so much fun together last year, and I don't feel ready to give up on this because us three have so much fun together.
Please help me!!
try not talking to them about it. If you do they may think you are a drama queen. (I'm sure you are really nice, but I have a friend in the same position as you, and the mean girls think she is a drama queen for always getting offended of the new girl in the group). Make friends with the new girl and try to hang-out with her on the weekends. If your friends with her I know your friends will spend more time on you. Plus, if you know the other girl more, you will be able to have inside jokes that will make your other friends jelouse. That may sound mean, but hey, thats life. If your other friends are jelouse then they will think highly of you therefor wanting to hang out with YOU. I don't give the best, most harmless advice, but they usually work. ;)
Goodluck
-brittany
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