Hi there,

5'7 and 115 pounds ... girl you definatley have nothing to worry about. In fact I would think you even have room to gain some meat on those bones. Just an idea ... I am 5'5 and weigh 115 pounds and am even still on the lower side of average!

As females we all seem to base our self worth on the size of our stomach. I don't think any of us escapes this to a lesser or greater extent. This creates much unhappiness, for we're constantly unhappy with our self image. Pick out 50 girls from your school year book, and I gaurantee you 49 of them will admit to wishing something different about themselves. Knowing this, do you see the inefficiencies of your friends ... probably not, your probably focused on what they bring to the relationship, the content they add to your life ... and I promise you, you give this back to your friends and family. I too went through a period of insecurity and still get insecure every now and then. Hey even J Lo and Angelina Joline have their insecurities ... the difference is, they've opted for a job where they have to constantly monitor their appearance so that they appeal to their audience. I bet you, this causes them much stress on a personal level. Is life worth that? I don't think so. Take a moment and think of all the things that truly do make you happy? Friends, writing, sports, water, travel, reading ... whatever it may be, schedule these activities in on a daily basis and prioritize them as importantly as you do your homework (or your current boyfriend) ... you'll find your quality of life increasing. When your happy, it shows and shines more than does physical appearance.

Another trick I use ... I hate presentations and when I was in university there were a tonne of them!!!! If I was to go up midway through the class, I'd see how others were just as nervous as I ... if you really observe you can notice this ... and to a certain extent, this made me feel better. Because yes, I wasn't the only one nervous!!!!!!! Then I would pay attention to what worked for the ones who did an absolutely great job and try to emulate (pretend your that person just for the five to twenty minutes your onstage whether it be for a presentation, an interview, or a social situation your afraid of).

You have to believe in yourself, you really do. If you start now it will come with time. It won't happen over night, but trust me, self confidence does come with experience and time!

Sorry I went of on a tangent of self image, but I must address your regret about eating ...Please do not regret eating ... in fact eating is one of the joys of living ... look forward to eating ... eat what you enjoy but in moderation and keep physical activity part of your life even if it's just walking, swimming, skiing, rollerskatting, whatever it is you really enjoy (don't go to the gym if it doesn't interest you! Doesn't last, trust me!)

All in all, I honestly do not think you have to worry being fat, but I do worry that your obsessed about it so please if I can do anything else to help, don't hesitate to e-mail me ...
aly_boschee@yahoo.com.

I hope you have a terrific week and wish you well and lots of happiness and good fortune!

Dude,

First of all I commend you on your willingness to help out! You definately have a lot on your shoulders at the moment. Remember though, your not going to be much help if you run yourself ragged. I hope you still have time to enjoy things you like doing ... cars, friends, sports, what have you. It's important, as when you do something for yourself, it gives you the energy to help others in a way that's productive. It seems to me your doing all that you can. It might be tight on the budget for a while, but events do turn around and once your mom gets through the courses things definately should get better. If things are really desparate though, I'd talk to someone with authority to help you two out.

It may seem dumb and stupid, but I'd sit down with your mom, discuss the income your bringing in and alocate your money where it's needed most first and with what you have left over go through with what you'd like to do with it .. save it, go out for dinner ... (like I said, you do have to treat yourself, especially in these hard times ...)

Hey by the way ... congratulations on graduating early!

If the situation is worse than I've helped you with, please don't hesitate to e-mail me at aly_boschee@yahoo.com ... I'd be more than happy to research some more ideas for you guys.

Happy Wednesday and please take care,
Alyssa

Hi there,

5'7 and 115 pounds ... girl you definatley have nothing to worry about. In fact I would think you even have room to gain some meat on those bones. Just an idea ... I am 5'5 and weigh 115 pounds and am even still on the lower side of average!

As females we all seem to base our self worth on the size of our stomach. I don't think any of us escapes this to a lesser or greater extent. This creates much unhappiness, for we're constantly unhappy with our self image. Pick out 50 girls from your school year book, and I gaurantee you 49 of them will admit to wishing something different about themselves. Knowing this, do you see the inefficiencies of your friends ... probably not, your probably focused on what they bring to the relationship, the content they add to your life ... and I promise you, you give this back to your friends and family. I too went through a period of insecurity and still get insecure every now and then. Hey even J Lo and Angelina Joline have their insecurities ... the difference is, they've opted for a job where they have to constantly monitor their appearance so that they appeal to their audience. I bet you, this causes them much stress on a personal level. Is life worth that? I don't think so. Take a moment and think of all the things that truly do make you happy? Friends, writing, sports, water, travel, reading ... whatever it may be, schedule these activities in on a daily basis and prioritize them as importantly as you do your homework (or your current boyfriend) ... you'll find your quality of life increasing. When your happy, it shows and shines more than does physical appearance.

Another trick I use ... I hate presentations and when I was in university there were a tonne of them!!!! If I was to go up midway through the class, I'd see how others were just as nervous as I ... if you really observe you can notice this ... and to a certain extent, this made me feel better. Because yes, I wasn't the only one nervous!!!!!!! Then I would pay attention to what worked for the ones who did an absolutely great job and try to emulate (pretend your that person just for the five to twenty minutes your onstage whether it be for a presentation, an interview, or a social situation your afraid of).

You have to believe in yourself, you really do. If you start now it will come with time. It won't happen over night, but trust me, self confidence does come with experience and time!

Sorry I went of on a tangent of self image, but I must address your regret about eating ...Please do not regret eating ... in fact eating is one of the joys of living ... look forward to eating ... eat what you enjoy but in moderation and keep physical activity part of your life even if it's just walking, swimming, skiing, rollerskatting, whatever it is you really enjoy (don't go to the gym if it doesn't interest you! Doesn't last, trust me!)

All in all, I honestly do not think you have to worry being fat, but I do worry that your obsessed about it so please if I can do anything else to help, don't hesitate to e-mail me ...
aly_boschee@yahoo.com.

I hope you have a terrific week and wish you well and lots of happiness and good fortune!

Hi there,

I'm not sure of your exact circumstances but the fact that others are saying your skinny and that your obsessed about food tells me that you are indeed either on the road to becoming anorexic or are anorexic.

As females we all seem to base our self worth on the size of our stomach. I don't think any of us escapes this to a lesser or greater extent. This creates much unhappiness, for we're constantly unhappy with our self image.

The best advice I can offer you with the information you've provided is first off ... look at yourself in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful." I'm positive that you are. Keep this in mind, about 90 percent of your friends are likely feeling fat or not beautiful in some other way and suffering from the same insecurities as you are. Next imagine all the things that really do matter in life to you, what ever they may be and engage in them, focus on them. If you enjoy reading, writing, going to the beach, the mall allow some time to do these things ... schedule it in as if it's as important as completing your homework assignments.

Next ... don't extract anything from your diet. Eat what you love but in moderation and excercise ... no not the boring going to the gym excercises that everyone drops off once the routine gets boring ... engage in activities you like, perhaps swimming, snowboarding, skiing, surfing, running, basketball, walking, and do it with a group of friends (as that's way more fun!!!!).

Basically enjoy what this life has to offer and try to focus less on your self image and work more on your confidence. The fact that you had courage to ask this question tells me you have what it takes to do this!

Tell me, when you meet someone you really like, I mean connect with, does their physcial appearance remain a part of the influence of why you like them? No, it's probably what they give to the relationship, or that your personalites are a good match.

If your really eager to tone your stomach crunches, lying on your back and rising your legs straight up and to each side and alas yes even pushups help build core and inner muscle strenght .. do as much as you can about three times a week, but please do not make this an obsession ... play your favorite music and try to make it fun, as a part of "your time" ...

All in all, I honestly do not think you have to worry being fat, but I do worry that your obsessed about it so please if I can do anything else to help, don't hesitate to e-mail me ...
aly_boschee@yahoo.com.

I hope you have a terrific week and wish you well and lots of happiness and good fortune!

Would you buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first? Personally I wouldn't. I'm very picky when it comes to how they feel before I invest money on them. I follow the same logic when it comes to "saving oneself before marraige."

In our society people are saving marriage itself sometimes up until they are thirty in order to have a degree and some sort of career established. If you find someone who you truly have more than just lustful feelings for, I don't think it's wrong to follow what the heart wants. This doesn't mean I think that you should interact sexually with every person you meet, but there are a few people we meet in our lives that are worth going a deeper level with. However with this said it is important that if you are with a new partner you are able to partake the necessary precautions to avoid STD's and pregnancy.

Panic attacks are the result of your physiological system reacting (most likely to stress your not accustomed to, or a prior event that led you to feel threatened), thus your heart and breathing rate increases ... sending a message to your brain that = DANGER! It's cyclical ... the brain then tells you your in danger (even though none really exists) and your automatic stress triggers kick in and cause you to react as if you were under real threats. When this happens, you get scared, might hyperventalite, pass out, or get dizzy (depending on how you manage your stress). The best way to remedy this is to talk to your family Dr., explain to him the exact circumstances in which your panic attacks occur and he might either refer you to a pyschologist, or locate the factor triggering the attacks. The main thing is to figure out the trigger ... then you can either be coached or learn how to better cope in a situation in which the "trigger" is most likely to occur.

Another way to deal with panic attacks if you feel uncomfortable talking to a dr or psychologist is to talk to yourself (yes i know this is weird). Stop, take deep breaths and tell yourself that everything is okay ... focus on calming down (if it helps ... think of an event coming up your looking forward to, or something you find soothing like the ocean, the hum of a car's engine, a friend or family member ...) ... once you find you can deal with it on your own, you'll likely gain self confidence and they will eventually get less and less intense or dissapear all together ...

I know some of this answer might have been rather technical, for that I'm sorry, but I hope it helped out a bit...

Take care and good luck!

Alyssa

Sweety,

To ease some anxiety, Alzeimers is not proven to be technically genetic, just yet anyways.

Sickness affects many of us and it's really hard for us to see a loved one going through the pain and suffering it causes. Unfornately this is one pain and suffering most of us are unable to avoid. I suggest just relating to your grandma as you normally would if she didn't have the illness (if she forgets what you said 15 minutes prior, pretend what she says is new). She is likely reliving her very old past (alzheimers tends to affect short term memory) so try asking questions about when she was young, and this I gaurantee you will make your grandma a happy women!

As for being scared about developing the disease yourself, girl, your way to young to be worrying about it. You should be concentrating on things you really love in life (or that crush that sits next to you in science class .. hee hee). The truth is, no one really know what each of our futures hold, we can only enjoy the moment we have the opportunity to enjoy, right now. If that makes any sense ... so I suggest, go get that chocolate fudge cake with ice cream and whipped cream, rent a movie, grab some friends and laugh your hearts out ... ;) Hey, if you ever get scared, feel lonely feel free to drop a line ... I know what it's like to feel afraid of death, and have had family members dye due to not only alzheimers, but parkinsons's diseas as well, and have felt utterly and totally alone myself at times ... it's natural ... just make sure you reach out to someone and recieve the comfort you need.

Your definately in great shape! Keep it up! Your appetite is going to be good due to the fact that you play 2-3 sports. In fact, you can eat basically what you want (well in moderation of course) Don't deny yourself the foods you enjoy, as this will just make you obsess about food and might lead to an eating disorder. Allow yourself to enjoy foods, just don't overdo it. As for how you feel about yourself, you really have to believe for yourself that your beautiful. A million people can tell you that, but you'll end up just feeding off of other's comments on you and if for one second someone doesn't mention anything, you'll feel discontent. I know it's hard, especially in our society, but you must truly love yourself. Enjoy the sports you do, enjoy time with friends .. enjoy the little things in life, the sun, the birds, that coffee in the morning, a favorite song ... take pleasure in these things as that's what the content of life is ... Everyone has their "ugly" days (trust me, I wake up and look at myself in the mirror, and want to go right back to my comfy bed some days), but realize everyone inluding Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez, Mary Kate and Ashely .. or the poplular girl in your school, all go through the same thing (except unfornately they are burdened with having to feel they have to meet standards ... that's a huge burden!!!) If you want feel free to e-mail me at aly_boschee@yahoo.com if you ever feel frustrated (as I know it can be at times) ... hope this helped a bit. Enjoy life!

Alyssa

Food ... definately one of the hardest addictions to recover, because well food is not only a source of vital energy, we use it for get togethers, we use it to celebrate, we are social beings that use food as the foundation for most of our gatherings ... it's not like smoking where dropping the nasty habit all together will not harm you.

Have you ever noticed the more you can't have something the more you want of it! Don't cut out chocolate all together ... but do moderate your intake ... as long as you stay physically active and eat moderately it really doesn't matter what you eat. I wouldn't jump on the diet fad of the time because they promise fast results. Realize your wait is tied in with your lifestyle choices, and as long as those don't change, your weight will come back. Change takes time (I know, you probably are not wanting to hear that, I hate that advice myself, I want results and want it now) Trust me though in the long run it will be for the better if you just make tiny changes here and there ... start doing active things with friends (swimming, running, basketball, rollerskating ... make sure it's something you enjoy so you keep at it) and eat what you enjoy but only in moderation. You'll continue enjoying life and results will shine through as a result ;)

Hope this helps you,
Alyssa

I grew up in Calgary Canada mostly, recieved a degree in psychology, moved around a lot as a child and recently just made a move to Oceanside California. I've had my ups and downs, some caused externally, some that I caused myself .. and am still in the learning life 101 class I was placed in 23 years ago, but having fun at it at the same time! I truly believe everyone has one fundamental thing in common, we all want happiness ... and as gullible as it may sound I believe everyone needs someone to believe in them or help them believe in themselves ... if you have a question, and your scared to post it publically feel free to e-mail me at aly_boschee@yahoo.com. I'll answer to every each one of you! Hey if you just want a friend to chat with ... feel free! ;) Look forward to hearing from all of you ...

" An unfortunate past is never an excuse to continue negative thinking in the present." - We've all had some sort of struggle in our past, we can not let these events control us ... it's in you to do with what you have!

" The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for." - we all deserve happiness, what is happiness to you? Just remember the golden rule, what you undo to others will be undone to you. To be happy treat others as you want to be treated. In addition, you'll just feel great knowing your making a postive print in this lifetime!

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