about

hahahaha was i on crack as a kid or what?

Anywayzzz -- Hey loveys. My name's Martha and I'm here to help you on pretty much anything. Ask and I'll do my very best to answer. I love giving advice and a lot of people say I am a beastly advice giver...so, ask away!

p.s. my screen name is x0mrm0x if you don't want to have your question open to everyone. Also, if you need advice from a guy my friend mark gives good advice...his link is under my favorite columnists.


advice

I am 15 my bf is 16. I know he doesn't have a lot of money and I was wondering, do you think it is OK if I offer to pay sometimes? I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him mad. Should I ask him about it?

if i were you...this is what i would say/do:
**ex: you guys are out, eating at some diner/restaurant, when the check comes...and he starts to get out his money...**
"no no, cmon, i'll pay this time...you pay for everything all the time and...idk i feel like selfish for not even offering to pay half!..." and maybe add in something like "how about we alternate paying...or just each of us pay half everytime...that way i don't feel bad =]"

hope i helped.

--martha

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ok so my bf and i were on a date at the movies and we were kissing and then this totally rude girl that we know stands up and walks out of the theater huffing and puffing and comes back in with the manager and we were asked to either move to the back of the theater or movie, so we get up and leave cuz we were soo pissed...then i was at a party like a week later and she was all trying to be my best friend- i just ignored her and now shes all mad at me- i want to tell her why but i dont know how...help! =[

ok...here's what you should say: "ok ______, i don't really understand why YOU'RE mad at ME ... like, ok remember when you told the manager about me and my bf hooking up in the movie? ... well i thought it was kind of rude because ... ok well just imagine if you were with your bf and that happened to you ... idk i just didn't think it was cool ... so yeah, thats why i was ignoring you at the party ... please don't be mad at me ... can we just kinda forget about this?"

hope i helped
and inbox/IM me with any more questions.

--martha

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my friends bf is always flirting with different girls(including me and my other friends)- he actually invites some of them to come over to his house. so we were working on a skl project and he outs his hand on my knee. he comes in for the kiss but i stop him. i told my other friends and some of them say hes done the same thing to them- weve tried to tell his gf, but she wont listen....what should i do?

~*~

you have to ALL tell her at the same time. it might seem like you're going to overwhelm her, but thats whats gonna work. you have to convince her that what hes doing is very wrong and piggish...and that she shouldn't go out w/ him. also, talk to the boyfriend. scare him a little--you know, tell him that if he doesn't stop being an ass and flirting w/ other girls and what not, then you're going to tell his girlfriend...

any other questions--inbox/IM me

hope i helped

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im kinda going out with this guy who is like in love with me! but my friend used to really like him- like a lot... she acts like she dosnt care but then she was like- "okay, lets tlk about something else"...but the reason i think all these guys like me is because of my big boobs. but anyway- its not like my friend to confront me about something. so she must still like this guy. but he has a crush on me.i know it- almost every guy does(unless their gay...hh)

i guess i want to know why shes changed...and if you think she still thinks about this guy

well i think that she changed her feelings or whatever is because shes like trying to forget about him OR she just doesn't want to talk about him because it like bothers her that he likes her friend (you)...and like she doenst want to be reminded of that.

she most likely still thinks about the guy, but to me, you shouldn't be worried about her like, "taking your man" or something haha. because if shes your real friend-then she won't even think about screwing things up w/ you and him!

any other questions--inbox/IM me...hope i helped!

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i have a problem- its kinda confusing-

i used to have a major crush on a guy and ALL my friends knew it(i care tho) but i kinda just forgot about him...but then my friend kinda start going out with him- and i pretend im okay with it, but in my group of friends its like a rule that you dont go near another persons crush or ex-crush. and note im not a person that confronts ppl about stuff... but @ sleepovers all she tlks about is how much he likes her and how she is like gods gift to men! its majorly annoying- shes always tlkin about how big her boobs are((which they arnt...)) and all my friends feel the same way i do- even about the boy...how do i let her know this w/o making her mad and how do i get this boy out of my head?!?!

plz help me!

confront her about everything [its not as hard as it sounds]. do it on like aim or something [its way easier that way] but don't do it in a bitchy way. here's some stuff to say:

"ok...first off, it kinda bothers me how you always talk about your boyfriend...when i liked him a lot and then you just started going out with him...and i think it was kinda wrong...b/c like, everyone knew that i liked him...and then you go out with him...second, its a little annoying how conceited you're being. like when you say things about your boobs or 'i'm gods gift to men!'...and stuff like that...i don't want to like cause a fight or get you pissed at me...but i just had to let you know b/c it was all really bothering me"

all you have to do is send it. its really not that hard, trust me. and how to get the boy out of your head...i can't help ya there--thats been my problem forever. just try to move on and find another-better-guy.

hope i helped.

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I have a boyfriend and he really likes me and i like him but theres this other guy that i like alot and i see ihm all the time and he sees me i dont know what to do about ym boyfriend or what to do with the guy i like Plese help i rate high...
Sighned Cunfused

don't break up with your boyfriend just yet. wait and see if the other guy likes you back--because you wouldn't want to lose something...and gain nothing. but if you really feel bad liking some other guy while going out with someone else, then break up with him. just tell him gently, say something like 'i like you, but i also like someone else and if i continued going out w/ you while liking this other guy, that wouldn't be right, so i think it would be best if we were just friends...'

go with what you feel would be best.

hope i helped.

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ok i have 2 questions-

#1- what the hell is cum? so many ppl tell me different stuff...

and #2- im 13 and i go to an all girls skl and i want a boyfriend really badly, i have friends that are guys, but i dont like any of them- what is a good way to..umm...get a guy to ask you out?

cum has 2 meanings... (n.) ejaculation [white ... substance/liquid that comes out of a male's penis] and (v.) when a male [or female] comes to a sexual climax, or orgasm.

and if you don't like any of your guy friends, why would you want any of them to ask you out? but...all you can do is be yourself, just a little more flirty...becauseif you don't act like yourself, they might ask you out because they think something of you...but its not who you really are...OR they won't ask you out at all...but if you're just more flirtatious with them, they will get the hint that you're interested in them as more than a friend.

hope i helped.

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ive a friend, ill call him B weve been friends all thro HS, @ this party he was trashed and was making out w/ me i dindt care no big deal, until he invited me over that nite to have sex, i was like umm thanks but no, over the nxt few days he's trying to hang out all the time and hookup, hes HOT but were pretty good friends, so its random and wierd, i had to travel so he was trying to hang out b4 i left, so the morning i was gonna leave he was liek cum over i wanna say bye meanwile im only gone for 2 weeks not a long, time so i went and said by, no biggie just since wen do friends try to fuck friends? im saying ill prolly hkup w/ him but i dont want tings to b wierd ya kno? write me bak!

talk to him. say something like

"okay, i need to know this...b/c i'm sorta confused and i don't want to like expect anything, and then get let down...are me and you just like fuck buddies? or friends w/ benefits? or are you just like trying to use me b/c you're bored? or do you like me...or what?? b/c i think that if i'm getting myself into this...i should know. and plus, i don't want to do anything that might mess up our friendship."

just make sure hes sober when you talk to him, haha.

well hope i helped/good luck!

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Ok, me and this girl have been talkin' 4 a while now (for like 6 months). We were just friends at first but I've always liked her. She's been in really bad relationships and thinks men are dogs and will treat her like dirt. I really like her though and I wouldn't do anything like that. I like her too much. Plus I'm not even that kinda guy. I wanna love her and show her trust, honesty, and loyalty. She's been so hurt that she can't see that I wouldn't do that to her. I wanna be with her; she is the most incredible girl I've ever met. On top of that I think I like her so much it might be turning into Love. I need some GOOD advice. Help!
P.S. I'll rate high.

i would just tell her! explain everything to her...say something along the lines of:

"okay, i've pretty much liked you ever since we became friends. and i know that you have had bad relationships before...and you probably wouldn't want another relationship, because you don't want to risk getting hurt again. but i just want you to know that i really like you, and i would never do anything to hurt you. i care about you...and i think you're a great/amazing/awesome person...please, just give me a chance?"

so yeah, just tell her how you feel...good luck/hope i helped!

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On Xxrocker's column page, I posted a huge question about this girl who I was friends with, but had a crush on. I asked how to tell her that I like her. Well, now, I've told her, and she sent me a huge long email, where every other word was "sorry", and that she liked me as a friend, didn't want to break the friendship, I'm the coolest guy she's ever met, etc. etc. etc.

I tried to shrug it off, I e-mailed her saying that I really didn't care, I was just wondering, all that jazz. Only problem is, ever since I got one girlfriend, I've developed a need for them in my life. I'm really scrrewed up now, I keep thinking about her... I need her... or someone... only problem is, there's no one else! My only other girlfriend ever was online, and she's never on anymore! I'm kinda messed up now, even more than I had been when I thought she liked me.... Everyone was sure that she liked me and had been flirting with me all year, I shoulda accepted their bets.

Fellow advicenators, what should I do?

awww...babe! lol it's ok. honestly, she'll come around...b/c usually, its the girl that likes her close guy friend. so, eventually, she'll realize what a good boyfriend you would make...tell you that she likes you, and TA DA-you go out!

if you really feel the need for a girlfriend...then you just have to put yourself out there. don't be all shy and embarrassed to ask girls out and talk to them and get to know them. the worst that could happen is that they turn you down...but hey-you need to have experiences like this...because then if it ever happens with someone that you really care about and like A LOT, it won't be so bad...(if that makes any sense)

well thats all the advice for now, but if you need more, IM me on x0mrm0x, and i'll try to help you more!

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what's a good love song that tells someone how much you love them and miss being with them! please help!

"miss you" by blink 182.
"always" by blink 182
sorry i'm like blanking out, i can't think of anymore, lol.

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My ex bf broke up with my a couple of weeks ago without explanation besides he just doesnt like me anymore. he keeps saying lets just forget about it. but thats not fair to me. we were together for a long time and we shared so much and really cared for each other. i think i deserve a little more. i wrote a semi angry letter explaining my feelings but i dont know if i should send it. should i? and what should i do next? hes not really talking to me, answering my calls, emails, etc. he said he still wanted to be friends. am i bugging him to much? i just think i deserve more than a "just leave me alone, its in the past." worrying about this all the time is ruining my summer, and my friends advice is split between - give him space - and - be selfish and let him have it hard -
hope you can sway me for good
- blah - :(

well i would say give him his space. if you keep bugging him and sending him stuff...he might think of you as clingy or annoying. and even though you two went out for a long time, he might just want to not think about that since he's all "lets forget about it" and what not.

and plus, once you like let him be for a little, like a week or so, he will be sooo eager to talk to you. keep your distance and everything will be cool

hope i helped.

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ok... my boyfriend and i broke up.... i wen to the place where my friends hang out..... he was stripping on a table.... my friends grabbed me and through me up next to him.. he was naked.. i was in my bra and undies. he kissed me then i punched him.. i put my clothes on.. but accidently put his shirt on. he came over one day to get it. i was napping at the moment. he layed down next to me. i knew he was there. i was pretending to sleep. i was on my stomach at the time. he kissed my cheek. i turned over but still pretending to sleep.i was then on my back... he whispered in my ear.. i just need my shirt.. so he took it off. i still was pretending to sleep. i was in my bra. i did not care because he already saw me. then he put his hand down my pants and fingered me. i popped up and made out with him. was that a stupid mistake?

13/f

well my first question is ... why was he stripping -- NAKED! hahaha ... but thats not reallt relevent haha.
ok back to advice. well, you should know if it was a mistake or not ... but it all depends, on like, if you have been fingered by him before. also, if you wanted to, and if you still like him. just ask yourself those questions and you can determine if it was a mistake or not.
sorry i can't give you a clear 'yes or no' answer ... but, i don't know you and i don't know like, why you guys broke up and the whole shabang.
hope i helped.

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i really like this boy and he knows i like him but im afraid to ask him wat he thinks of me,but i dont want to get rejected wat should i do.

get your girl friends to ask him and find out if he likes you or not. or you could befriend his guy friends (unless you already have...or are friends w/ his friends) and get them to talk to him or ask him.
thats what i would do...
hope i helped.

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I really like one of my good guy friends and he really likes me. But if we date and then one of us dumps the other for whatever reason, it might ruin our friendship. Our friendship right now is really strong and i need him as a friend but having him as a boyfriend would be so much better. I'm trying to forget about my feelings but I cant stop think about it. :sigh:. well hope you can help a little. thx.
*gg*

i know how you feel.
but really, you HAVE to talk to him. he will tell you how he feels ... and that is very necassary (sp?). i know that he won't want to screw up a good friendship either.
and you can't just ignore your feelings, you have to talk to him about it ... cuz you even said that he likes you too.
... just talk to him!!!!!!
lol, hope i helped.

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my girlfriend is on this game literally 24/7 LITTERALLY she`ll stay up all night playing that game.. or she`ll go to bed at like fuckin 2 3 in the moring.. get up at what 11 12.. then play it.. then stop at 6 for a hour then start playing it till like 2 3 in the moring... sometimes she`ll stay up all night till like 8 9 then go to sleep till 2 then get up and play it again. im really worried bout her. (were bi im a girl too) and i dunno how to explain what shes doing.. i mean i dont even talk to her anymore.. and when i do its alway a "kk" every 10 mins or somehting. its really bugging me... i dont wanan sound all mean and tell her not to play it and talk to me. errr *hits head* i dunno what the fucking im writing this for...

is she by any chance playing a game called 'runescape' ? haha, cuz the situation sounds familiar.
but either way, you need to just like turn off the computer/ps2/whatever and talk to her. tell her that if she continues to play the game ALL THE TIME, that you two might have to just break up because this damn game is taking over her life and not giving her any time to spend time with you or anybody else.
just tell her how you feel and she should listen and MAJORLY take what you say into consideration.
hope i helped.

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okay, so me and my friend ryan met like a year ago i guess.
recently we were talking about relationships and stuff and he told me that he liked me, and i was like i like you to. and we talk and hang out with friends and stuff but he hasnt made a move or anything
does this mean he doesnt like me anymore?
THANKS FOR THE ADVICE

he's probably just nervous or scared. he might be hesitant because you 2 are too close as friends...that he might find it awkward fooling around with you. if you really want to know, just talk to him...it won't seem like you're being weird because you have a right to know...and plus, you talked about relationships and what there is between you two...so it won't be a big deal.
hope i helped.

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how do u forget someone .. that u love and just cant deal with it anymore ?

well babe...i'm sorry to tell you this...but it just takes time.
but honestly, you probably won't be able to COMPLETELY forget about them. if you love them, its gonna be hard.
but my question is...why can't you deal with it anymore? is it just that you don't think they love you back or something?
write back if you need more advice...(sn is x0mrm0x)
hope i helped.

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ok im 15 and sometimes i feel like my boyfriend wants me to do more than just making out. But i dont think im ready and i dont want to yet. We've been together for 6 months and some people say thats a long time. But what should i do? is it bad for me to be 15 and not wanna do anything yet? is 6 months along time?

age doesn't matter-its how you feel about it. you shouldn't do anything that you don't really want to.
but yes, 6 months is considered a long time and most couples that have been going out for that long have gone way farther than making out.
if you think that he might not be satisfied with just what you guys are doing now, talk to him about it and tell him that you don't think you're ready. if he really loves you he'll understand and take his time with you.
hope i helped.

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does anyone know if you are supposted to stop at a certain time when giving a guy a handjob .. and is there such a thing as blue balls? thanks

well you're supposed to stop when the guy comes...because it is possible that he will get blue balls.
so yes, there is such a thing. its when a guy get an erection, and is about to cum/ejaculate/basically have an orgasm...but then whatever is happening (sex, blow job, hand job) is stopped - so then he isn't able to cum...like, its about to come out, but it doesn't and like starts to go back in/up the penis...its kinda hard to explain--but i did my best...lol.
if you have any questions->my screen name is x0mrm0x...lol.
p.s. blue balls hurts guys real bad. some more than others though.
hope i helped.

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