sorry if this ends up being long but i have two questions kinda...
17/f
ive never understood why society made it so bad for teenagers to have sex. i mean people 13 and even younger were having babies in the past, and that was considered acceptable? In fact if a girl WASNT married by 17 she would be considered too old...
i just dont get why its SUCH a horrible thing for someone my age to have sex if they are ready. and i know about sex. i know that it should be done only out of love, and only if youre mature enough to handle it, and only if you can take on the responsibility of sex and protecting yourself to avoid pregnancy. but if everything is perfect, then whats the big deal? thats my first question if someone could explain that to me...
the second ???? is more personal.
ive been dating my bf for a month, and weve been talking for two. hes already said he loves me, and hes proven it. but then again i can never again trust someone so blindly and im not sure its even possible to love someone after only going out for a month. (i havent said it back btw)
and i asked him how long he would be able to wait because im a virgin and i wasnt planning on having sex anytime soon so he should know that. he looked at me and said "i dont want you to have sex with me until you can look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you love me". That was great to hear, but of course i still get paranoid sometimes. because we started having oral sex and sometimes we get so into it we both just want each other, and i feel like i really wanna do it. BUT i know i shouldnt yet and want to wait longer...just that he forgets about what he told me about sex in the moment as well, and im understanding of that. I asked him if he remembered what he told me later and he said "yeah, but its easy to forget when youre in the moment" which is true because it happened to me as well. i guess my question is...can someone give me a reason why i shouldnt have sex with him, becacuse im running out of reasons... i already told him to get tested before we even had oral, and im going on birth control next week for acne issues so pregnancy wont be possible. and i really feel like im falling for him, and he shows that he loves me everyday....so...y wait? can you have love without sex for an extended period of time? im turning 18 this year btw...
well the first question is hard to answer. everyone has their own opinion. now your second question. sex isnt everything in a relasion ship. you can love eachother and still not have sex. like you said you shouldnt have sex until your ready. yes sex is supose to be for people who love eachother (if you go by the book or what people say) but love isnt just physical its supose to be mentaly as well. and it is hard to control yourself when your in the moment because your hormones kick in. love is a tricky thing. if think your ready then you should go with it. it all depends on you. good luck. anything else just ask.
-Tamera.
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I've known this boy for a couple years now & I started developing feelings for September of 2008. I thought it was just going to be another one of those little crushes.
It's been eight months now and I still can't get over him. When I liked this boy, he told me he liked me too, a whole lot. We never got into a relationship because we lived too far away to be able to see each other as much as we'd like to. In the middle of October, he told me he also developed feelings for another girl at his school and of course I was crushed for I was even more in love with this kid by then.
They went out until the end of December-ish & he recently told me that he does not like that girl anymore.
My problem is that I can't get over him & it's been eight months. I've never completely fallen head over heels for anyone this bad before.
The only two options I'm letting myself have are
1) let him go - if this is your answer for me, I'd like to know how to get over this kid. Whenever he talks to me, my heart lights up. I fix MY schedule to have time to talk to him.
2) fight for him - if this is your answer for me, what am I supposed to do?
3) if there's anything better than the two, please please tell me. I'm killing myself over this kid & I'm just ready to stop.
Thanks so much in advance for whoever answers this.
15/f if it helps.
well, letting things go with guys you realy like is hard. if you truely want to let him go then itll take time. and if you think he is worth fighting for then try it. depending on how far away he lives from you, you could try to work things out. any other help needed just ask.
-Tamera.
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Okay here is the thing my ex and I broke up over a month ago. I had this guy friend Tony who invited me over to watch a movie and talk about things. He kissed me a cried and so he stopped. we ended up having sex some point that night. well it ended up he just wanted sex so i quit talking to him all together.
David.. I meet him talking to him online. we hung out a few times. he keep grabbing my face because i keep pulling away to kiss me and he kissed me for like 30 minutes well we ended up having sex. he really likes me a guess but im not attracted to him and i get annoyed easy with him
Dustin.. My best friends brother and my ex's cousin. my ex doesnt talk to any of them. We all drank at his sisters house one time but i was dating my ex at the time. I seen him and his sisters baby shower for a minute on saturday. and we talked for just a minute. I texted him that he and i should go drink sometime but he didnt get it because he doesnt have service where he lives. I called him yesterday (sunday). i went out to his house we went dirt roading and ended up having sex but he didnt force me i told him i wanted to. and he didnt even kiss me until i was positive. we talked for hours before that. im attracted to him just hearing his voice gives me butterflies. he asked me if i was wanting to date someone and i said i wasnt sure. which i am sure. he had running around to do in town today and asked if i wanted to come and of course i said yes i wanted to see him.
i dont want to be judged on what i did with having sex. im just looking for advice. i dont know if im pregnant or not. i doubt it. i havent got my period but i dont know what day i started last month.. thank you for taking the time to read.
noone should judge you because they dont know exactly what your going through. and the sex thing well if you think its a mistake then thats your buisness. people make mistakes all the time. and if you truely like this guy then maybe you should talk to him about it. say something like im not try to be clingy or anything but i like you. let him know how your feel so he knows. and he sounds like hes sweet. as long as he makes you happy do what you please. just make sure your sure about your opinion. and the pregnant thing, well if you used a condom and if your on birth control then the chances are low. and questions or need anyother advice just let me know.
-Tamera.
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this guy who likes me is kinda cute but he's gay and he is a bisexual he wears women clothes but he dosen't think i know what he does he just asked me out on a date what should i do and say i am 20 and a female
well, what i would do is tell him you know how he dresses. talk to him and tell him you dont know what to do. do you realy like this guy. and some bisexuals arent that bad boyfriends. and if you do decide to go out with him tell him that you would like him not to dress like a women.
good luck hope i have been a help.
-Tamera.
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15/f. I had been talking to the one guy C, but before I was talking to M. C goes to another school, M goes to my school. After we came back from christmas break I heard another girl i didn't like liked M, & had said if I tried to come between her & M she'd be so pissed or something like that. So I started talking M again. But I realized he was really really into me, not the same way I was. The C found out I was talking to M & we stopped talking. But I wanted to be with C, so I kept making up excuses for M to stop talking to me.
The first time me and M stopped talking was because he never had time for me like with football, and friends, drinking, and smoking, things im not into, and the second time it was the same story. While C is the type of boy thats plays to many games, & talks to other girls.
Well now I'm talking to C. And M & that girl from the beginning are going out now.
I feel like i've made the wrong decision, any adive?
If you think I have how do you think I can make it right with M again?
well it all depends on how you feel for M. do you wish you still talked to him? and if you dont then you made a good decition. if your more into C then talk to him. even if hes not into all the things you are. its better to have a relationship with someone who is their own person. guys are very confusing but if you stop and think about it then im sure youll decide who you want to be with.
write back:) and ill see what else i can help you with.
-Tamera.
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Ok so I might be going to the movies with tis guy I really like
All my friends say he likes me
I denie it. But KINDA think the same thing
Im kinda on the chub side & I think Im unattractive
But thats off topic;
In case he DOES like me
Im afriad he might kiss me
I want to kiss him
But first kiss = I have KNOW idea what to do
How to move my lips
Just. Im clueless with the WHOLE thing
Help?
Links to websites and bideos would be LOVED
you should never put yourself down. even if your not beautiful in your own eyes you still can be beautiful in someone elses. i do it all the time and some major problems have happend because i put my self down. but the first kiss thing. if you do go to the movies with this kid try not to show him that your nervous. just keep your cool to the best you can, and dont kiss him let him make the move on you. and your first kiss is always interesting. just let him do most of the work and once you think you have the hang of it just try to do what he was doing. and hopefuly it will come natural. :)
-tamera.
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My boyfriend and I really want to see eachother more because we go to different schools, but my parents are being really annoying about it. They know I have a boyfriend because they have hinted that they know, and I think that it only made it worse. Normally, I'm not allowed to be at a guy's house or a guy at my house. But now, it seems like they are making a big deal about us even trying to hang out alone at a public place. I think that they think that we will sneak off and go to his house. And obviously I get that they are afraid of pregnancy or me getting hurt, but it just seems like I'm getting a little old for this. I'm 16. Lately I've been pretending to hang out with groups of friends but I actually don't hang out with them, I just sneak off. My parents are getting smart about it though because now they want to see who I am with. And my friends are never available and they are bad at making plans, so it's just getting increasingly frustrating. My parents can not be convinced against their beliefs. So what can I do?
hey my name is tamera, i think you should try talking to them.
just be like look, you know i have a boyfriend and usualy you wouldnt mind that i hang out with guys. you should trust me im your daughter and you realy dont have a reason to not trust me. i realy like him and its hard because i almost never get to see him. im 16 and i know its hard for you to give me a little bit of freedom but you have to learn how to trust me.
- thats what i would say. or something like that. :)
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