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Eight months now.
I've known this boy for a couple years now & I started developing feelings for September of 2008. I thought it was just going to be another one of those little crushes.
It's been eight months now and I still can't get over him. When I liked this boy, he told me he liked me too, a whole lot. We never got into a relationship because we lived too far away to be able to see each other as much as we'd like to. In the middle of October, he told me he also developed feelings for another girl at his school and of course I was crushed for I was even more in love with this kid by then.
They went out until the end of December-ish & he recently told me that he does not like that girl anymore.
My problem is that I can't get over him & it's been eight months. I've never completely fallen head over heels for anyone this bad before.
The only two options I'm letting myself have are
1) let him go - if this is your answer for me, I'd like to know how to get over this kid. Whenever he talks to me, my heart lights up. I fix MY schedule to have time to talk to him.
2) fight for him - if this is your answer for me, what am I supposed to do?
3) if there's anything better than the two, please please tell me. I'm killing myself over this kid & I'm just ready to stop.
Thanks so much in advance for whoever answers this.
15/f if it helps.
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well, letting things go with guys you realy like is hard. if you truely want to let him go then itll take time. and if you think he is worth fighting for then try it. depending on how far away he lives from you, you could try to work things out. any other help needed just ask.
-Tamera.
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Haha, you wont believe this...
I'm going through the EXACT same thing.
Okay, well not exactly, but pretty darn close... See I'm 13/F and this guy (Ill call him joe) is 14/M. So, if you think 8 MONTHS is pathetic, well I've liked joe for almost 3 YEARS now... Yeah, yeah, I know... Well even though the first two years were just innocently crushing years, this year has been nuts... He says he likes me but doesn't want a girlfriend... Well, that should have been a wake up call, telling me that I should give up right? Well, it didn't work like that...
See, he said he didn't want a girlfriend, but he sure treated me like one. One day, this guy in my grade came up to me and was being completely nasty, and totally preverted (I won't even tell you what he said to me) when I tried to ignore him, he pushed me against the locker, and joe, who was with me, pushed him off of me and punched him in the gut... Plus joe was always flirting with me (just like your guy) and I would also schedule my life around talking to him (like you) so signals were very mixed.
Well, I learned something through this experience... And that us that boys are upfront. Joe said he liked me, and so did your guy, and you can be sure they genuinely meant it, but what did they like you for?? With joe, it turned out that he only wanted some action and the ego boost he would get from yelling his friends about how he "scored"... With your guy, he could like you for anything, good or bad, but he defintely does not like you in a way that means he wants to date you. He could be using you for anything, or he could be being sincere, but in the end, you are going to wound up hurt... And it sucks. Whatever his reasons are, you guys agreed you would not date, abd that is what is going to happen.
My advice? Let him go. I know its hard, trust me, I know. I liked joe for 3 years and I STILL haven gotten all the way over him!! But I know thats what I have to do (and you do too) because we can't hang on. There are TONS of guys out there who are better for us, and clinging to these relationship dead ends is not right. Butt see, the thing that makes this harder than a normal break up is that there is no closure. There is no "its over" because there never was a real something. There were feelings (and strong ones I'm sure) but there was no title, and THAT is why its so darn hard. You have to throw away something that was never actually there, it was only felt. But you have to let go, and even though its hard because your brain knows that holding on is wrong, but your heart hasn't reached that stage yet. It will get there, and one day mine will too. Heck, I'm young, you're young, let's go flipping live it up! Save the friendship, throw away the hurt, and go find a hot boy!
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wow. I am going through like the same situation right now. and it's been going on for 4 months, but technically, 6. I can totally relate because this guy I am basically in love with told me he liked me, I told him I liked him, we never got in a relationship though because I rejected him once, and I think he was scared I'd do that again, and then after we told eachother we liked eachother... he got with his ex girlfriend and they have been together for almost 4 months now. and for 4 months, I have been fighting for him, although he DID play me. He was my best friend. He helped me get over my ex [who I was off and on with for 5 years] it was perfect, until ... it wasn't. I'm gonna tell you right now that you shouldn't waste your time on him, I wish I hadn't, if I could go back and have moved on when I had the chance, I would change that in a heartbeat. Don't fight for him, let him go. I know how it feels to have your head messed with, and it's not fun. they seem like they like you then they are total jerks. It BLOWS.
I know it's going to be hard to let him go, but you have to because he doesn't treat you right. It seems like he thinks of you more as that friend that's always going to be his back up plan rather than the friend who's going to be more than that. You deserve so much better, and okay, let him go, but don't forget about him. You shouldn't base your life off of him, there are so many other guys who would most likely LOVE to date you, and you should keep your options open. Like, you can like him, but don't let it show, look for other guys, get to know other people, and you'll find that he is NOT the only "perfect guy" for you. I mean, the guy you liek also found another girl and had kept his options open, so why don't you? fight fire with fire. If it doesn't feel right, then you could always go back to that guy, don't cut him out of your life completly, but the only way to let him go is to start broadening your horizons.
-don't fix your shcedule for him anymore.
-talk to him, but not as frequently.
-get to know other guys in your school, and start talking to them.
-hang out with other guys...
-get your mind off of him by hanging with your friends and doing fun stuff.
OR. you could talk to the guy you like,a nd STRAIGHT UP [no beating around the bush] tell him how you feel and how you felt. whatever he says, it can't be amaybe answer, it has to be a yes or a no or a definite answer. like if you said to him, "i like you alot, and I have liked you for a while, but I can't just wait around forever for you, I want to know if you have any feelings for me at all." if he replies with, "well, I don't know if I have feelings for you.." or "I have feelings for you but I just don't know what to do since we live far away from eachother.." then be like, "well, what should I do, because I need a definite answer."
You have to make it clear to him that this is bothering you, or you'll get no where with him, and your relationship will just stay the same. get your feelings out there, and let him know what's bothering you. If you get your point across, I guarentee a good outcome. :] trust me, I've been and am going through this.
tell me how it goes ! and if you have any other questions, feel free to inbox me, it'll be okay hunni, i promise :] xxo hope I helped and good luck!
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