Depending on the day depends on the type of answer you will get from me. Most of the time i give what i would do if i were in your shoes. That means it could be harsh and stereotypical or nice and easy to understand. i love giving advice so ask away. challenge me a bit and you will get a good answer out of me. i have played the harp for 7 years and love it to this day. God bless
Gender: Female
Location: My world where it rains, thunders and lightnings, and the grass is always blue
Occupation: student/harpist
Age: 17
Member Since: March 18, 2005
Answers: 35
Last Update: March 21, 2005
Visitors: 3901
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I recently found out that my boyfriend drinks. Every fiber of my bones is completely and utterly against drinking and alcohol. I hate it like you would not believe. My dad was an alcoholic and my best friend died from drinking and driving a few years ago.
I love him. I really do. I care about him and beg him not to drink. But he tells me he knows his limits. He says he doesnt get drunk just "tipsy". The other night he went out with a few of his friends and they played drinking games. He didnt tell me about it but his friend did.
I feel lied to. I feel betrayed. I know it's his life and he can do as he pleases. I dont want him to think Im trying to control him. But I dont want him to die either.
Help me. Should I leave? Should I stay? How can I look past his drinking habits? (link)
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It is a hard situation you are in. I know that you may not agree with what he is doing but it is his choice. Let him know the reasons why you want him not to drink. Tell him that you are not trying to control him and that it is his choice in the end. Tell him your worries and just ask him to at least do less drinking. That is all you can really do. Hope I helped
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17/m Last weekend a very close friend of mine told me that she liked me. I said that I liked her too and that we should go out sometime. The reason that I said that I liked her is because everything deserves a chance. Well we have been on two dates and it is clear to me that she likes me way more than I like her. How do I let her know that I want to be just friends with out ruining a good friendship? I rate high. (link)
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Just explain it to her. Not harshly but gently. Ask her how she feels about you. Tell her that you like her but not enough to date. Whatever you tell her it will hurt her if she really really likes you. But the truth is always better. Tell her that you will always be there and that you are a best friend to her. Right now you don't want to date. Just tell her kindly and your friendship should be saved.
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hey i want to address these questions to the guys:
-what is it that causes you to break up with us (excluding obvious reasons such as cheating, clingyness, and vice versa).
-when you get around to getting bored of us, what are your motives? and what do you do to "fix" the problem?
-if applicable, why do men cheat?
-describe your version of a "perfect girlfriend" (personality trait-wise mainly).
i was watching the simpsons last night where marge went to get lipo but got boob implants instead cuz she thought homer was getting bored of her and it just made me ponder about this to understand you guys better.
i myself am a current girlfriend, and our relationship is doing great, but i'd like to know what else i can do to make my man happy (other than the typical things). :)
thanks! (link)
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Even though I am a girl here is what I think:
1) Relationships can end in many different ways. there is a fight, disagreemnet, misunderstanding, boredom, no connection between each other, lack of communication, lose of interest. Anything really. If someone thinks it isn't worling out then that is another reason.
2)Jazz up your realtionship with random gifts to each other, suprises, and go on new dates. Not just out to eat or to the movies. Go paintballing or to a laser war or anything like that. If you are athletic go to a nearby indoor rockclimbing place or play sports. Just find new things to do and try new things together.
3)Even though I am not male I know many guys who cheat. They feel like they need attention from as many girls as possible. THey need one girl they know wil lbe there for them and the rest are supposed to worship him. There is also the reason of boredom or arguement or something is wrong in the relationship.
4) can't answer this one
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so today i asked a guy i really like to be my b/f and he said yes after keeping me in suspence for a few hours during the school day. hes really shy all the time so i asked him out. im afraid this relationship isnt gonna work out cuz he wont call or talk to me... should i give it some time to get comfy (if yes, how should i help him) or just tell him to forget it? (link)
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If you like him then you should def. try to make it work. Find out what he likes to do in his spare time and do that with him. It will make him feel better. Tell him that it is ok if he calls you from time to time. Also just hang out with his friends as well as your friends. he needs to be i nareas that he feels comfortable. If you are there then he will become more open and more comfotable around you. It may take some time but it should work. It has worked for me a lot. Hope you two work it all out.
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ok here it goes its kinda long but i really need your help.
i have this friend she is like my best friend thats what she calls us... doesnt mean she is...
well her boyfriend broke up with her a while ago. she still hasnt gotten over him. she still loves him. i've talked to him on the phone and i asked him if he still likes her and he said no. and i was like well who do you like? and he kept saying no one until he said "me" i was like stop playing and he says im not playing i like you. and i kept saying no your joking and he goes no i like you, you dont belive me? and at school he always tells me he loves me, and he gives me hugs, and once he called me his girlfriend. i went to the movies last nite and he was there... he asked me to sit next to him, and i said ya ok. and at the movies he put his arm around me and he kept telling me he loves me and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. i like him to a lot. but i dunno what is he trying to do, does he like me? i think he does, but im not sure. he askes me if i love him and i say yes sometimes mostly i dont answer and wen i say yes he asks me why? and what should i do about it? he flirts with other girls to. so please help me, and tell me what does this mean? (link)
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My best friend had dated this guy for 3 years. They broke up and he started to hang out with me more often. Finally he told me he liked me and wanted to date me. At first i freaaked out because I thought I could never do that to my best friend. I had liked him and still did at that point. I talked to my friend about it and i knew she still liked him. She was mad at me because she took it as me betraying her. I dated him and she eventually cooled off. Even though we don't date now I am still friends with him. Everything with my best friend has smoothed out and we are working at being best friends again. Basically what I am saying is talk with your best friend let her know how you feel and what he is saying. Don't let her find out through someone else then she will get extremely mad at you. If you like him date him see what it is like. If it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. But best friends last 10 times longer than any relationship so put that above the guy. Good luck!!
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Me and my girlfriend just broke up and i was kinda glad that we broke up at first but noe i miss her really bad and i am not sure if she likes me so what should i do? (link)
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Just yall don't go out anymore doesn't mean that you can't be friends. Talk to her and explain to her that you miss her. It may be the same thing with her. If she wants to be friends stay friends but you never know, you two may go back out. Just try and see what happends. Hope it works out for you!
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(16/f) I've been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months now and I really do love him. Its just that he doesnt trust me at all. Just because of things people tell him. People dont like the fact that we're going out because we're in an inter-racial relationship. So they make things up to try to get us to break up. I know that they're lying but he doesnt. He just doesnt trust me and I'm constantly telling him not to believe them and " No I didnt flirt with so-and-so today." Im so sick of trying to get him to believe me. He also makes me feel guilty for things I did before we started going out. Im tired of it and I try telling him this but he just doesnt stop. It's getting to the point where we're fighting most of the time instead of getting along. I love him so much and I dont want to have to break up but I want to be happy instead of being sad all the time now. I just dont know if its at the point where I should end it or not. Please help me out I dont know what to do... thanks in advance. (link)
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Try this before breaking up with him:
Bring him out on a date show him how much you love him. Reassure him that you love him and him only. he may be uneasy because he is frightened of loosing you. If that is the case talk with him and let him know that if anything were to happen you would tell him and that you can trust him. Then prove it. think of a way to show him that he can trust you. Even if it is romantic or cheezy or anything. if that doesn't work then there is not point in trying. If he doesn't trust you enough, he needs to fix his issue. Take a break and then try again. Sometimes the second time is better than the first. Hope it works out in the end!!
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I know my bf gets boners becuase he has said he hates it when he gets them. I dont know what to do when he gets them, should i just ignore it? (link)
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That is what I did with my past ex. I felt sorry for him but that is his issue I really didn't know what to do. So yeah kinda clueless on that topic. I just say ignore it.
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ok me and this guy have been going out for about 4 months, im 14, female, and i luv him soo much! We have made-out and been to each others houses, also hes looked down my shirt and lil things nuthing totally taking clothes off or anything, i definately dont want to have sex because im a christian and ive made that promise so what should we do if i want more than just making out? (link)
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i have been in a similar situation just a few years older. i know it is hard to control our hromones and emotions. It is as if what the Bible says and what the 'world' says conflicts. It is hard to say it and keep to what the Bible says. The bible says no sexual activity before marriage and to me that means nothing that implies sexual activity. If your boyfriend loves you he will understand your beliefs and respect whatever decision you make. If I were you I would end it at making out. Plus you can have fun doing other things. Go to places around where you live that are fun. Like around where I live we have indoor rockclimbing, laser fighting, paintaball warzone, and other places. Relationships should bot be based on physical asspects. instead it should be based on your personalities. If it is based on your personalities and beliefs than he will understand and you will only strengthen in your belief. Hope I helped!! Write me anytime with any other issue!!
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Me and this guy use to go out. He broke up with me and I didnt see him for a long time. I was in love with him, we started talking again and we hug and flirt and talk but theres this other girl he does some of that stuff with too. I still have feelings for him, everytime I see him I always think god he's hot, and think about how much I care for him. But wut do I do? I need him back, he's like all I ever think about. (link)
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First of all i am in the same situation and I am sorry you have to deal with it. Second of all I thought I needed the guy I liked. But now I know I don't sure i like him but if I am just sitting here waiting for him to come to me, I am not going to wait. Think about it, if he wanted to be back with you as much as you love him wouldn't he just go to you? I understand you think you can't live without him but didn't you live without him before yall dated? It is hard to realize that we can be independant after allowing ourselves to fall into this belief we HAVE to be with someone. It is as if we latch onto someone and can't get off because we never try. Once we realize we can be on our own and be fine we move on or we find someone else to latch onto. If you love him, tell him, talk to him. That way he at least knows, then it is up to him and how he feels to decide whether to date you again or not. At least that way you know whether you are holding onto false hopes or real ones. Hope I helped!!
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Age: 13 Gender: Chick [girl]
Ok, I have this problem and like it involes this dude that I truely like. But like, we went out for like 10 to 11 days and then we broke up. I did something like so fucking stupid to get his attention and now like we don't talk a lot but we're still "friends." I really love him and like he keeps asking me if I do and I know that he suspects that I still do. Then, he already has this other chick under his arm and it's not me. But like I know why we broke up and everything. But like on a note he sent me he wrote that no matter what we will try to make this relationship work and last long even if we have to marry each other! Like, I knew he was going to take back those words. But like, he made feel so freaking retarded and like now, I just think he's like such a dork for confusing me! Like, should I forget about him and move on and just stay friends or should I like still continue to kill myself this way? Because everyday I cry for him to come back to me and like I also "cut" and like I'm like always depressed because of him. Help me please, what should I do?
The Loner, loser, Lover...your dark lord and master...Jenny M...
[jennymanzanares@hotmail.com] (link)
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In all honesty I think you should stop cuttingyourself and realize it is ok to be single. You were fine before him and will be perfectly fine after him. Just because he may tell you he loves you doesnt always mean it is the truth. I know this very well and hope you never have to deal with any jerk or any guy who treats you wrongly. A guy you date needs to repect your thoughts, opinions and beliefs. Just realize if it soesn't work out it is not all your fault and know there are bigger fish in the sea
Gwen
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Ok now well i have been with this kid whom we'll call john and my ex we'll call jack.Ok me and john have been together for about 3-4 weeks and i was with my ex for 5 months then we broke up in january but lately i have begun to get old feelings back for jack but we are BOTH in a relationship so i wrote him a letter after john left for florida basically asking him out and i am waiting for right now but the prob is if it doesn't work out should i tell john when he comes back about what i was secretley doing?? plz help i only have a couple of days left!!!
~~ME~~ (link)
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It is perfectly natural to have feelings for old flings or even random people. Acting on them on the other hand is a hard decision. If it the whole thing works out for you I am happy for you but if it doesn't you have to choose between telling or not. Personally I would tell john because it would drive me crazy if I didn't. It might make your relationship stronger if you both get through this but it can also weaken it. If you do decide to tell him you should chose a right time and place, when he is in a good mood. If you do it the wrong time then he may over react. If I were you I would tell him, no matter what.
Hope it all works out!!
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