XOXKAYLA's advice column | XOXKAYLA's Advice About Love Life | Main Page

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

St.louis

Occupation:

SKOOl

Age:

14

AIM:

booyouwh0re or misslilcupkake

Member Since:

January 31, 2006

Answers:

71

Last Update:

April 13, 2006

Visitors:

6253

Main Categories:

General Sex Questions

about

the name is kayla... if u want to know anything else well look to your right or just IM on aim ... simple as that

advice

I met this guy yesterday. he hangs with my friend all the time now cause she likes him and he has started been actin different to me like he'll put his arm round me when were outside in the rain and he'll make tiny sexual remarks. but at the same time he wants to be with my friend so wat should i do.

Well its not worth losing your friend over. you should probably ask her before you ask him this... ask him if he likes you like as a girlfriend. if he says no then i guess its a no. the only way to find out if he likes you is to ask him, if you wait for him to tell you then chances are he might not because he dont want you friend to get mad, he might be scared or think you dont like him, or mabe thinks that you have a boyfriend? the best thing to do is ask him when your friends not around..

hope i helped..
love kayla

I fell lost. Dont know how to start a new life alone. I do not have any skills not good at really anything. My heart is broken. What can I do too make it stop and find a direction?

ok i dont know if you are a girl or a boy. but if you are a boy hey im single!! lol

anyways i think you might just be a little over depressed? ive felt just like this before. its normal.. well find some one that you want to be with. and go find stuff that you like to do. dont sit around the house it will make you more miserable. if you want to talk then you can IM me on aim- misslilcupkake

ill be able to talk to you more if you give me alittle bit more details..

hope i helped
love kayla

I am a 16 year old girl. I met this 22 year old guy online at a chat room and we met. We became really very good friends, and within few months (7 months to be precise), i fell for him. After 3 months since we met, we met again, and I felt from his behaviour that he too loves me, though he never told me. He kept on calling, or if I called him up, he said what kept me so long. He has also helped me a lot coping with my studies, and also nosy parents. A close friend of mine also felt that this guy has something for me. On her advice, I let her e-mail the guy (using her mail ID) and told him that she feels I love him. She made it look like I didn't know she mailed him, and also she mailed me another e-mail saying that that guy loves me (though i knew she made up the mail). I was to behave that it was a surprising mail, and my friend's idea was to know this guy's mind. But he said after a fortnight that he doesn't love me, but he thought I was his best friend and he is ready anytime to call me his best friend if I still liked to maintain the friendship. I readily agreed, but he is no longer the same guy. He answered my call once only to say that he was busy and he'd call me back. He didn't and now he's hot answering my call. I dont call him anymore (for more than two weeks), but I just cannot forget him. I dont know what to do. PLEASE HELP!
-Bishakta Manush

to me this guy seems like he didnt know what he wanted...mabe he has a girlfriend? it was wrong of him ofcourse, but i have these problems all the time.

my story is down below if you want to read it. i think its kind of similar to yours.

i met this boy on buddypic and he's 17 and im 14. well i found out he lived close to me so like 2 weeks after we met he came to my house and picked me up at my house on a saterday. the friday before that saterday he was supposed to pick me up from school. but he got in a car wreck on his way to pick me up. so anyways ya he picked me up on saterday and we drove around and got pulled over because his tail light went out. after that we went to my friends house and i really wanted to stay the night with him ( not for nothing sexual). and he said ya at first but then when we went to my friends he was like no. i thought i might be able to change his mind on his way to drop me off at home. but i couldnt. i wasnt acting myself that night. and beforeme and him met we talked to much. i asked him that night if he would come back so i can see him on sunday and he promised. and theni talked to him sunday and he said hes not going to. i felt so bad. i really liked this boy and i thought we had something. but now we dont talk. its tuesday and i met him last saterday. he says the reason why he dont think things will work is because he thinks im bad luck. and because im young. and because he likes other girls but he dont know. when i mention going out with him hes like"kayla".... it really hurts but i have to except it.

hope i helped.
love kayla

Well im a 15/f and recently i started talking to this guy i have liked for awhile now, well he started talking to me actually but you get the point. so anyways my friends all think he likes me because we never really said much to eachother in school but then randomly like a week ago, he commented my myspace saying hey, how are you, etc and now we've been talking like 2 hours every day, sometimes even till like 2 in the morning! soo i dont know, im really shy, and hes really shy, and he has alot of girls that are friends, and i have no clue how to tell if hes flirting with me or if he likes me. i've kind of invited him to a few things, like to a school basketball game but we dont talk that much in person, in fact in person we usually only say things like hey was^? and then we go our seperate ways. i have no clue how to act, im not good with guys at all, and sometimes when we talk online we have like a minute or 2 of silence where we both dont know really what to talk about, i mean when we have something to talk about it flows and is comfortable but when those silences happen its like in person when we talk and seem to be too nervous, or he just doesnt want to talk to me! i have no clue help and im soo sorry this is long but i have noone to talk to thats not biast because they are my friend!

Ok so mabe your not the best with boys. im shy too, but if it really comes down to where you want to know if he likes you then just ask him. just say i cant tell if your flirting with me or if you just want to be friends. he wont think bad about you i promise. i mean what can he do? if he says he likes you then i guess those other girls might not matter to him. when there is silence just tell him what you did today or something speacil that happend. i bet hed love to hear how you feel about him. silience is normal. if you guys are both speachless then its not bad. just be strong and ask him if he doesnt tell you how he feels. i promise you wont regret it.

i know this sounds weird but if you have aim and u want me to ask him for you then i will. IM me misslilcupkake or boo you wh0re
hope i helped
love kayla

Hey.
My name is Gabriella and i'm 15 and i'm dating someone named Chad who is 16. I sorta have this problem with him. You see... hes always talking about himself and bragging.. and then hes always saying how all these girls are pretty and hasent told me that once....hes going to 2 proms... 1 with his best friend who is a model and is his x girlfriend and one with someone i dont know who... and he was practically rubbing it in my face... hes always hugging all these girls... and he called me three other girls names and then hes friends with all girls... and if i have a picture of myself and he thinks it looks bad hes like ugh that pic is horriable... i mean i like the honesty but he could be nice about it. and hes always trying to change things like how i take pictures and it makes me insane!! and i just dont know what to do... because i like him still... even tho hes like that. HELP PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

Ok to me i think this boy is just using you. just to be going out with you. if hes dating you why is he going to the prom with his x? and some one else? thats messed up. you should deffently tell him hes dissmissed. ok and if he tells you your ugly then ask him why is he going out with you. i understand where you are coming from but girl you really need to take control of that. im serious dont let him run all over you. just listening to your question gave me the exact answer what to tell you. ya you probably shouldnt listen to some people on advisenators. but im telling you hes not worth your time nomatter who hes is. dont worry about how you will feel if your guys break up. you will be better off, finding some one who is hotter then him and will treat you better. i promise you this boy is bad. either you should break up with him or get him back! say he said you were ugly? say well thats not what (make up a boys name) thinks. say he mentions the prom again and something about going with his ex. say well ya (make up a boy name) is coming over and we are going to make out and blah. just piss him off like he is doing you. but you are better off breaking up with him. or cheat on him. and if he says he dont care that a boy comes over then thats when you know he dont care about you. if he says he dont care, its most likely because hes not worried because hell be doing stuff with other girls. i hope i helped you out. take this advise plz. i dont know you but hes not treating you right.

&♥ kayla
if you want to talk IM me on aim: lxyippi or boo you wh0re

What does "friends with benefits" mean

to be friends with someone but do sexual things with them

| x love kayla

I need help! I decided to tell the guy I like the truth---but what do I say to him exactly? Pls. help me! I don't have enough time! tnx :)

You should of worded that alittle better. but its ok.

well anyways... tell him you rather him tell you the truth then lie about ____ ! thats basically what i would say.

i dont really understand the question but if u word it better then IM me on aim at boo you wh0re

|x kayla

hey, I'm looking for some good advice because I basically don't what to do anymore. I recently got dumped by this guy. I really loved him, it wasn't one of those "fake" loves as you might call it. I really was and still am in love with him, I would give anything and do anything for him. He did love me at one point too and he claims he doesn't know why he stopped. He thinks that it could be that I took him for granted or was unappreciative and that I hurt him. But I never even knew I was doing any of this, and if I had known I would have tried my hardest to fix the problem. I'm so confused and I've tried almost everything, and now I'm lost. My friends say that I should just move on, but I don't want to give up because I just have this gut feeling that he will come back. One reason being that I don't believe some one can just stop loving within a couple of days. And the reason he stopped loving me so quickly wasn't because he didn't love me in the first place, because he really did. So, I don't know if I should keep hoping and holding on and waiting or give up and try to move on. Advice would be much appreciated!

well how about you do both.... wait for someone to come to you. to me that means that if they do they want to be with you more then u want to be with them. and the chance of you getting hurt when you and that person break up is less because they found you.. and well it just seems that way. to you im not sure? in the meantime untill that boy comes just wait for your ex. your totally right, he didnt have no reason to break up with you. just dont be to hard on yourself because in this situation be proud that you can say it was his lose. i believe that yor were really in love with that boy because i was in love once. and well it didnt work out and now i found someone new. so if it comes to it i know you probably can.

sure youll probably cry. you probably have been, but in the end it will all be ok. dont feel bad for the nothing you did. but then again if he finds someone else there is still a little tiny chance of him coming back to you, because he might think "o well this girl isnt working out, i should of stayed with the person i loved" ! but i wouldnt wait around for him unless you are that desperate or in that much love with him.

just dont be the only one moving on if he does..

hope i helped.
love kayla

My bf broke up with me, he gave me an excuse pretty much he said well if we fight this much now how are we going to have a future and we're going to ruin our friendship. Ok it's an excuse bc I was willingly to do anything for us to not fight but he wasn't. I really love him, when he broke up with me I had to have one of my friends stop me from not starving myself or cutting myself. I can't stop crying, it just can't be over I need to talk to him. What do I say is this over u heartbreaker? lol It's weird bc we only had a few fights and stuff and we were doing good a few days ago..please what do I do I'd do anything for this boy and anything to get him back ik thats desperate..but I LOVE HIM!!!!!

i think he was giving you a excuse because mabe he has found some one else. or mabe he just doesnt want to go out with you anymore because he just wants to be alone. I think that is excuse to. Just call him and say " look im really sorry about all the fights, even if you dont go back out with me i just want you to know i truly am sorry." if he chooses to move on except that. there is way more hotter and nicer boys out there. you dont need him if hes going to be like that. if he finds another girl, ya you will probably get jealous but just go out with some one and that will take your mind off him. dont you dare missy cut yourself over him. if you do you will either end up in the hospital or have these horrible scars that will stay for along time. and plus you will be ashamed of your self when you see them. and think "how stupid was i". you can also get put in a mental home. ive felt just like you before. i mean JUST like you. you have to accept that its part of being a teen. and you will grow out of it even if you dont notice. you will realize that you shouldnt care what other people think or do. yes it hurts you but youll hurt more cutting yourself. my best friend cut her self over a boy. and now she is totally over him but still has a big scar on her arm. and ive wanted to kill myself over boys before but now im happy i didnt do it and didnt even try. if he was your first love then youll never forget him but youll learn that you have to move on. and if you guys go back out i wish you the best of luck.

if you want to know anything else email me at xoxokaylaoxox91@yahoo.com or IM me on aim at misslilcupkake

love kayla

Im a 15/f, 16 in april.
okay for some reason i think its really odd to date a guy whos like 17. but then id love to date a guys whos turning 15. i know usually everyone wants to date guys who are older and taller then them but i mean i think its kinda gross well not gorss but just weird if i would date a guy whos like 2 years older then me or 2 years younger. is there something wrong with my brain or is that just my personality towards guys i like?

theres nothing wrong with that. its just all about what you like. for EX: my friend katie is 16 she turned 16 in january. shes in 8th grade(she flunked alot) and she goes out with this boy hes almost 14 and hes in 7th grade. theres nothing wrong with that. i personally like boys that are really close to my age. but dating a guy older is not much diffrence to me.

hope i helped you.
LOVE

One of my friends likes this guy that I really love, and I dont want to make her mad by saying she cant go ut with him, but they live really far away from eachother, I really love him and she knows that and now he likes her...what should I do?

tell her that your not trying to be mean but you really love this boy.. and you dont think its right that if she does go out with him.

hope i helped. just tell her how you feel. shes a good friend if she understnads and dont go out with him. and a bad friend if she ignores you feelings and goes out with him. thats just the way i think of it

good luck

LOVE

I've already asked my friends, but I thought a few of you would have GRRRREAT advice. So I like this guy. A while ago, I told him he was a hottie. Nothing realy happened after that. He went out with my friend a while after, but they broke up. They are still friends and she said he would tell him to call me. I am NOT a shy person. But whenever Im around him, I can't talk. At all. My friend told me she sees him glancing at me, but I haven't seen it. I really like him and want to go out with him, but Im kinda stuck on what to do. Any suggestions on what to do? ANYTHING is appreciated. Thanks =]

girl, dont wait for him to come to you.. ask him out. if you like him go for it. i guess we have something in common... we both arent shy. if i see a guy in the mall ill go up to him and tell him i think hes fine and ask him for his number.
anyways... off me.. i think you should really ask him out or just ask him for his number.

hope i helped. thats just what i would do

LOVE

I've been going out with this kid for about a week and a half now. He has a very bad reputation for smoking alot, drug use, getting in fights and stealing things. Everyone is scared of him so they don't know his good side. Actually he is very nice, considerate, sweet and ready for commitment.

Sometimes he lies to impress me though. Just one example, he told me he is 100 percent Irish but when I said I was Italian, he said he was 50% Irish and 50% Italian. He also buys me lots of jewelry to impress me I guess, but he doesn't need to.

I guess I'm just kind of shocked. But if he really feels like he has to be like that to keep me, I'm not sure if I actually want to keep dating him. This happened with all my previous boyfriends because I figure out their flaws as I get to know them and I start to drift away.

So Is he worth my time? Is it just that I have really high expectations for a guy?

Please Help!

well you can probably never find the perfect guy. because as you know no one is perfect. i think he is totally worth your time. if you like him alot then you should deal with the things you dont like. if you dont like him buying you things just tell him that you rather him not try to impress you.. you just like him the way he is. theres some things i dont like about my boyfriend and my boyfriend also has a bad rep. fighting,drugs,partying,juvinille,lakeside ect. but i love him and he has to deal with my diffrences too. just tell you boy that you like him alot and he doesnt have to impress you for you to keep going out with him.

hope i helped.

LOVE

Hey. i'm the girl that asked you about the guy i think is amazing but my friends don't think so.
thanks for the advice first of all
2nd.
to add more to my question;;
i was wondering what i should do.
because he knows i like him and he flirt alot but i have no idea how to find out if he likes me? should i ask him if he likes me? should i wait for him to tell me? idk what to do?
thanks!

i think that you should ask him if he likes you. just say "look" weve been flirting and i dont know if i got the wrong impression or if you like me. dont be shy nothing can go wrong and if he says he doesnt like you then just give up on him and find someone else. mabe hes just leading you on which will suck but dont fall in love with him unless you know he likes you back. just tell him youve been wondering about it and you just want to know.

hope i helped and gave you good advise

Oh Jesus. The other night I did some stuff that was kind of close to cheating on my boyfriend at a concert. He found out and got really mad. At first he was mad because I was denying it. Finally I couldn't help it and told him what I did. And he cried and took it real bad. Now he doesn't trust me and thinks I'll cheat on him. How do I get his trust back?

ive been in the same situation before. accually it was like 2 weeks ago. you just have to straight tell him that you know you hurt him and you want his trust back so bad. and that the other boy ment nothing to you and you were just being selfish. you might not get his trust back but you just have to keep trying to convince him that you wont do it again. and i know it will be hard not to because its hard not to cheat on my bf now but you just have to think of who is more importnat to you. and who you want to be with.

hope i helped..

There's this kid that i think it super hott and he has an amazing vocie and a totally awesome personality. my friends think hes ugly though.
he has like jet black hair and see-through blue eyes.
how could you say that's not hott?
anyways.
what should i do?

well i think that you should of added more to your question but ill try to answer it anyways... um i wouldnt care what your friends think about him.. i mean its what you think you dont always have to impress everyone else. if you need more advise on this question add more details please and put it on my adivse column and ill be more than happy to answer it for you.

Well, I don't mean to sound conceited but a lot of people come up to me and say they like me, but it's always these guy's friends that like me. Is there something wrong with me that the guy who likes me can't come up to me and say it himself? Why is it always their friends?

that question doesnt sound conceited. i had the same problem a while ago... so many people like you at one time.. well the boy is probably to shy to come tell you theres absulutally nothing wrong with you hes probably just toshy or scared...!!! hope i helped

kayla

Okay, so there's this guy I like. I've liked him for a pretty long time. The thing is, though, we are good friends and I'm afraid to tell him that I like him. I'm thinking if I tell him, he might not feel the same way and things would be awkward between us. But, maybe I should tell him, because he does seem like he likes me sometimes, and plus, he's single right now and if i don't tell him, he could go out with someone else and I'd feel like I missed my opportunity to tell him .. I'm not sure what to do, and plus in a few days we're walking home together, and idk if I should

well i would tell him say this: " look i know we have been friends for quite some time but i like you more then a friend"" i dont want you to feel diffrent about what im telling you! " if you dont like me like that i understand... i just want to be friends with you thats all! i hope i helped! good luck!!

xox kayla

hi i dont like valentines day because theres never anyone that likes me =( that i know of..what do i do?

not everyone has a valentine you just have to take the good with the bad... take me for example i dont have a valentine but its just a holiday not anything big you should worry about at all..

hope i helped!!
goodluck

ok soo i like this boy... alot & i was straight foward with him ... i told him i liked him & when i told him we talked & we always gave eachother hugs& kissed ((only once on the cheek)). & then he bought me in this room in school just me & him & said I know you like me & I like you to but I don't want to go out with you right now because i have basket ball & i wont see you, so were not going out. but it's weird because he always is free on the weekend & i can go to his games & it would also be good because we would have space, but i didn't say anything. & now we never talk & when he sees me he just looks at me. I'm wondering should I give up on him & look for someone else or wait, but i'm also wondering if he even like me in the first place & he was just saying that??

----> confused♥

i think you should call him or pull him aside and say hey i still like you and ive noticed that you do have time and i can always come to your games. were you just telling me that you like me when we talked? and some other stuff. if you were upfront with him about telling him that you like him then you should let him know about how you feel. and if he says something like he dont like you nomore then just ask him if you guys can be friends and find some one else.

hope i helped..... good luck

x0x kayla

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>