Bio♥


Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)

Oh, and ask me anything!

Advice

How long Do you Put Ice On Your Hickey ?

I assume until it melts.

I was rated a


I am really not sure of their friendship I mean we hung out and stuff but I've only dated my ex for 2-3 weeks so it's not like I know my ex well enough to figure out who his best friend is...

All I know is they play football sometimes, go out to eat... and yeah... friend from high school...

Oh by the way I am 21/f...

I really don't think you owe your ex anything. He is your ex for a reason, after all.

However, if you are interested in dating your ex's friend, it's probably a good idea to consider how you would feel if a friend of yours dated him. If that would bother you, it will probably bother him as well. Be sure to discuss it with your potential suitor as well. If a relationship was to evolve, would it be awkward for the parties involved? Is it worth going through?

Just some things to think about.

I was rated a 5


Hey there(: well in a couple of days me, my mom, and dad are going to go to an amusement park btw in 14/f and well I'm an only child and it's embarrasing to go on vacations with your mom an dad and that's it when you see
Other kids your age with Boyfriends or friends, Well I'm trying to convince them to let me bring a friend but I'm pretty sure they won't let me. So I'll feel REALLLY akward, having to ride rides and stuff with my mommy when other people my age are with friends or boyfriends and it's embarrasing. Sodo you have any tips just in case they don't let me have a friend, to look I guess you can say cool and stuff even tho I have to be with y parents. I mean I always feel that way on vacation and everything. And no they won't let me go around by myself. So do you have any tips on how to look cool and stuff. Instead of people thinking ha look at her with her mommy an daddy and stuff. Because they do look at me weird. I've seen them. So please help me!!! Thanks(:

They are probably looking at you weird because you feel awkward & it shows. So, people look at you funny. Forget other people. Especially people you don't even know. If you are having a good time like the people around you, no one's going to look at you weird.

There are kids your age that don't get to take vacations at all, so you should be grateful that your parents take you on them. Enjoy this time with your family now, because one day you will be praying to have this time back. It's a family vacation, so go with your family and have a good time.

I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it is the way it is. Talk to your parents about how you feel, and discuss taking a friend a long on the next vacation. Just a thought.

I was rated a 5


So lately my life has taken a turn and three guys who I happened to all like asked me out on dates.
I've gone out with one of them a few times and I really like him. He's barely 21 and I am 18. He's a way sweet and cute guy and we have a ton in common.

On the other hand this guy who is a year or two younger asked me to his prom and I said yes. The thing is where I live people just don't go out on dates with multiple people. I want to date around and I don't want anything serious how do I tell these two guys that's what I want? The older guy will probably understand but I'm worried about the other one. The third guy has already passed it by me that he doesn't want a one on one dating experience either.

I feel a bit sleazy doing this but at this time in my life I am too young to be in a relationship.
How do I clear this up with these two lovely guys?

If you aren't in a committed relationship, technically you don't have to clear anything up. Until one of these guys asks you exclusively out, you really don't owe an explanation to any of them in my opinion.

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Hi everyone! So heres the deal. Theres this guy that I have been talking to for about a month now. We havent been able to go out on a official date due to the fact that I work long hours (which he doesnt like). So we had arranged to go out on Sat. night. But then, my cousin won tickets to a concert that I have been dying to go to. So I cancelled plans with him, and now he is super mad and acting like a child. Dump him or no?

What you did isn't cool. You should never cancel plans with someone just because something better came along. That's just rude! Not to mention it makes you look unreliable.

IMO, he has every reason to be mad. If you disagree maybe you should dump him. Otherwise my gut tells me he'll end up dumping you.

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I'm 17 years old and I have a boyfriend now, but then there is this guy I use to talk to and decided to contact me again after one month. I don't want to inform him that i'm in a relationship. He asked me why I have not spoken to him and all I said is " I felt as if you were pushing me away ". He tells me he has been busy and that he misses me. How should I signal him that i'm not interested in being with him?

You should just tell him the truth. Let him know that it's nice to know where he stands, but that unfortunately you've already moved on.

If you aren't careful you'll end up losing both guys. Trust me!

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Im leaving for 2 months to visit dad during summer holidays in december,been with my bf for 5 but have know each other for 8 months.We both want to stick together but during summer theres always partys new years etc that are on. What if something bad happens? will he find someone new or do something silly? will I .. could it end badly if I leave? everythings great now

In situations like this I think it's best to just let time take it's course. If you guys are in a happy relationship just see where it goes from there. If something bad happens, then end it. But don't stop a good thing because of what COULD happen.

Good luck!

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i and my boy friend has dated for 3 and half years and nown we are planing to get married next year but my question is this... early last year i found out that he is having a problem with his sperm, the doctor said he dosent have sperm cell in his sperm. he hasent told me this for the first time even till this moment i found out when he disclosed his email password to me in his sent massage, he sent a prayer reqiuest conferming it (may be forgot to delet it). i really love him and would love to marry him he is may source of happiness i have waited all this years for him to tell me this but he havent why didnt he want to tell me? i want to ask him about it but how do i ask him? please some one should help me out. 22f

It's not exactly a topic that comes up easily in conversation. "Hi, my names John I like long walks on the beach, and I may not be able to how children! Now tell me about yourself! :)"

See what I mean? It's a difficult topic to bring up and he knows there's a chance you may want children and it's hard to bring up. Give him a break.

It's a life long decision that affects everything about your future so think long and hard about where you stand in your relationship now and remember no matter what you choose, you always have options.

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Hi, I'm 17 and from NY. The issue I'm having is that I'm going to SC for 2 1/2 months from August-End of October, and I'm leaving my boyfriend behind :/. This "vacation" is kind of forced on me for several reasons, but overall the thing is I HAVE to go and stay until the end of October, then I can come back. But, what will happen between my boyfriend and I? Will things change? I'm thinking of leaving it up to him whether or not he wants us to still be together or not because I know it would be rude of me to tell him to wait for me and everything. What do you think??
Please, I need advice!
Thanks

That all depends on how long you two have been together/how strong your relationship is, etc.

If you think this will put a strain on your relationship and you would rather be single, explain that to him and end it.

Or talk to him about it. See what his feelings toward the situation are and base your decision off his feelings in regard to your own.

I was rated a


...he's nine years older than me and lives 400 miles away.

I've known this man for approximately a year and two months; and for a year and two months, I've had the hugest mothereffin' crush on him. I'm talking full-on I-wish-we-could-just-make-out-already kind of stuff. When we met, I was in a very serious relationship which just recently ended due to some issues I'd rather not discuss, so I'm single and free as a bird.

I find him attractive in every facet, sweet as cherry pie, but still sarcastic and loud enough to keep me interested. He's already admitted he has a 'thing' for me, to the point where I'm pretty sure we could date...if he lived anywhere near me.

And also, the main issue at hand? ...I'm a minor. I'm not talking twelve; I'm a senior in high school, about to move out into the adult world. But still. At the moment, nothing between us could happen, because I know both my parents, family, and friends would not be as accepting. Plus, again, I rarely see him in person at ALL.

I really pray he'll never check this site. Because if so, my secret's out.

But...yeah. How to approach? Do I keep in contact, or should I wait around until the right time? Should I be okay with light flirting, or should I try to engage him in actual conversation about it?

You shouldn't pursue the relationship any further than an ongoing flirtation for now. So you're almost 18, right? Once you are 18 you can pursue this relationship in any way you see fit. As for now though? Leave it as it is.

Is this physical attraction enough to attempt making a long distance relationship work? Personally I believe long distance relationships can work, assuming the two partners are already in a comitted relationship. I don't so much understand starting a relationship when distance is already an issue though.

Really the only advice I have is to just wait and see what happens. 9 years is a pretty big age gap, but when two mature adults are involved, I personally don't see an issue. It's up to you to decide what you want to do after your birthday :)

I was rated a


my step brother act me to date him i dont know what to do

There is no law saying you can't be with him as far as I know. However there will be many problems if you pursue a relationship with him. If the feelings are not too strong quite yet, try forgetting about him. The relationship is not going to be worth the hardships you will put each other through, but most importantly, remember what you are doing to your mother and step father. The problems you will cause them will be horrid. It's best to not be with him.

I was rated a


okay well i use to mess around with this boy but now hes baby has been born and he hasnt been talking to me bu the is not with his babys mother and i want to spend time with him like we use to so what sould i do?

You should leave him alone. Whether him & his baby's mother are together or not, both of them are partners for life now. Dating should not be a part of his life right now. His concerns should be his child, and nothing but his child at this point in time. Maybe in the future you can have a relationship with him, but for now back off. They are only babies once, and he needs to cherish this time and raise this child with the mother as best he can, whether they be in an intimate relationship or not.

Find someone else. You don't want to be involved with all that drama unless you absoulely have to.

I was rated a


I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.

I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?

Sorry if this is too long!

Ask him about it. Tell him you found the facebook page and it concerns you. Here him out. If he acts weird or you still feel something isn't right, then end it. Without trust there is no point in having a relationship.

I was rated a


hi melody...my name is aaron, aka bigdogdaddy; i read your answer to the girl's question about not knowing how to make love or sex or being lost altogether...granted it's good but what about the consequences if she gets pregnat by him? is she emotionally ready, financially ready...you make it sound like it's a hop and a skip and a jump to happyville....i agree with 90% of your advice but i think you really needed to add about the aftermath if there is an oops involved...

best wishes, take care...

If it came off as a hop and a skip and a jump to happyville, then that was unintentional. Perhaps I should have elaborated more on the consequences.

However I have been on this site for about six years, and I have found the "preachier" someone's advice is, the less likely the person asking the question is to take it. They come off with a response such as "that's not what I asked, rated 1" or "thanks but your not my mom, don't preach to me, rated 1" so nothing gets resolved and I have completely missed the target on reaching them.

I try to get as much information as I can about pregnancy, STD's, etc. out and hope they don't think I am trying to talk them out of sex, as that's not what I am doing. If they are asking about sex, they are more than likely going to have sex. All I can do is give them advice on how to be safe and hope they take it.

If you feel the person should get more advice on the aftermath of sex, such as dealing with a pregnancy, feel free to answer the question yourself as it was asked to the pool and not just myself.

Thanks for your opinion! :)

I was rated a 5


excuse me, but my boyfriend and i want to be physically together, but i don't know that much about sex. can i have some advice please?

http://www.coolnurse.com/

Use the cool nurse website as a reference guide to all things sexual. It has some really interesting information and facts about sex and your sexual health in general.

Do you know that the man's sexual organ (the penis) penetrates the female's sexual organ (the vagina) to generate feelings of pleasure & intimacy?

That's what sex is.

There isn't much else to know. If you love your partner & are comfortable with him then it will be a learning experience for both of you. You can discover things about each other & your own bodies that you never knew before & that's what sex SHOULD be about; two consenting people that love each other & want to express it to each other.

Remember to be safe. Go to your health clinic or gynocologist if you have one, to get an examination. They can answer any questions you might have and can make sure you are sexually healthy. Ask about birth control to prevent an unplanned pregnancy, and remember that hormonal birth control can take up to a month to enter your system, so use back up birth control (a condom) to prevent pregnancy that month, and to prevent any sexually transmitted diseases or infections your partner may have.

It's best for him to get an examination done as well if he has ever been sexually active, just to make sure he doesn't have any nasty problems down below :)

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i've been with my boyfriend for awhile now. our relationship hasnt always been easy but we always talk and work things out.i love him more than anything and id take a bullet for him any day of the week.people always say that theres no way we can be together through high school and college because people change which i get.is it possible that we could actually last through college and get married?

Being realistic, normally it doesn't happen. But can it? Yes.

I am still with my high school sweetheart, mind you I am only a sophomore in college. It's a pretty good start though, right? In fact, we met in middle school, dated all throughout high school, and have been together two years after senior year so far. Of course, no one can say what the future will hold, but we still love each other as much as we ever have, and have plans on staying together, period.

I am not the same person I was when I was fourteen, and he is not the same person he was when he was sixteen. We have both changed a lot, but have accepted those changes in each other because we knew it was going to happen. That doesn't mean every relationship will be able to handle those changes, but we were lucky.

So don't be discouraged and automatically assume it won't happen. It can. You should just know if it doesn't, that you don't have to be disappointed. It's a normal thing.

I was rated a 5


Ok well i like this guy...lets call him Kadin. and we are friends like we talk on facebook and go to parties. not together but we talk there. and he is really popular with girls like not as they like him but he has a lot a girls as friends and he is just so cute...and he is super nice that its so hrd to tell if he likes me or not..i just want to know if i should ask him out or not?

Why not? If you like him there is no reason why you shouldn't ask him out. Try doing a group thing first so it's not as awkward. Then try a double date or something, without actually calling it that.

If he seems interested, then ask him out just the two of you. You will never know until you ask!

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im going to cali for the summer and my bf is gonna be on the east coast , i need some songs! TYY

Hey Delilah-->Plain White T's
Here Without You-->Three Doors Down
When I'm Gone-->Three Doors Down

http://laihiu.nicesoda.com/life/lived/ld-lyrics.php

That link has a lot of songs as well. Google long distance relationship songs, you will find a lot.

I was rated a


I have been hanging out with this guys since Late February. At first, I thought it was just going to be a one night stand or random hook up type thing. Well this turned out to last longer than just one night and he took me out a few times, paid for dinner and what not. However, we continued to have sex. He let me stay at his place for a few nights and didn't try to have sex with me or anything, introduced me to his friends and even heard from a few of them that he liked me. Now the last time I saw him was this past weekend and he said he would text me. I have not heard form him since then. Normally he would text me throughout the week just to ask how I am or something like that. But this week, nothing. I understand I was probably just the flavor of the week or whatever. I guess this would explain why re just completely stopped talking and left me hanging. Am I right? A guys opinion would be nice, too. If it helps, we're both 20.

Matt has a point. I don't see why some girls think calling a guy is forbidden or something. I am not saying stalk the guy, or be clingy & text/call every day. But a simple text asking him what's up is well deserved, if not expected I would say.

Just send him a text asking if he would like to hang out again sometime. If he doesn't respond, forget him. He was probably a dick anyway.

I was rated a 5


I'm trying to get pregnant, I skipped my last period but all pregnancy tests i've taken (3) have been negative...if I'm not pregnant, could I still be fertile this month even though I didn't have a period? Basically I'm wanting to know if I should keep "trying" this month even though I didn't get my period last month (and I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant)

You should keep trying. Just because you didn't have a period last month doesn't eman you won't be fertile. What you should really do is talk to your obgyn. He or she will let you know what days are the best time for you to conceive on. There are also fertility tests you can take that will tell you when you are fertile.

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