This is the advice column of Meags227. All questions will be answered unless they are not suitable for children. Meags227 will judge how appropriate each question is. Questions are usually answered within twenty-four hours of receivance. Thank you for visiting this site and feel free to ask anything. :-)
Also, a special thanks to Miss Stephanie Bista, for without her this site would not be possible. Thank you, Stephanie!
Gender: Female
Location: Lisle
Occupation: Advice Columnist
AIM: Meags227
Member Since: February 17, 2005
Answers: 57
Last Update: July 21, 2006
Visitors: 6844
Main Categories:
Friendship
Love Life
Sports
View All
Favorite Columnists
SimpleSoupOfSilence
|
| |
|
hey ok well i am 15 and i am in love with ym best friends little sister. i have known her my entire life and i have never thought of her as more then just like a litte sister i guess but her bro is like rele protective of her how do i ask her out without making him pissed and risk hurting my relationship with either of them or theirs with eachother (link)
|
Please don't use the word "love" because that's way overused. What made you start thinking of her as more than a sister? Are you sure that's a good reason, not something like "She got hot."? Also, if she is too young, then I would wait a few years and see if you still like her. If you are going to ask her out now, you better be almost positive she will say yes. You don't want to hurt your and your friend's relationship over a rejection. If you still are going to take action, first talk to your friend. I know guys don't really talk, but translate this into guy language and see how it works: "I kind of like your sister, and I'm thinking of asking her out and getting to know her better. I hope that's alright with you, which it should be because you know I wouldn't treat her badly or hurt her in any way. Even if it's weird at first, you will get used to it. Don't worry." If he says he doesn't want you to, just ask his reasons and come up with comebacks. Ex. "It's just too weird." "But it doesn't have to be. Just don't make it that way. It's not like all 3 of us will have to hang out together." Then as for asking her out, do it however you want. If she thinks it's weird, explain that you've been trying to hide your feelings for her but couldn't any longer, or say something you like about her, or whatever else you can think of. If you do all that, and the relationships are still ruined between you and him, and him and her, then try to forget about her. Break up and save your friendship and their family bond, because both of those are more important than you and her going out. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
what would you count as hooking up? (link)
|
There are a lot of definitions for different people... Some say it's when two people start going out. Like the boy wouldn't go do something with another girl besides the one is he is dating. Some say it as a casual term, meaning just hanging out. Some say hooking up is when a boy or girl does "stuff" with the opposite sex. The least amount of stuff varies, though. It could be a kiss, or making out, or you could do more and still not count it as hooking up because it wasn't enough. It depends on the situation and circumstances, but I suppose my definition of hooking up is when they make out or more. Mine isn't right or wrong- more of an opinion, though. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
How do you get a girl to like you? (link)
|
Be extra nice to her. Flirt. Talk to her a lot, but not so much that you get annoying. Pay attention to her specifically, and not to ten other girls at the same time. Don't be too clingy or desperate, though. Buy her stuff if she is materialistic. Write a song/poem for her if she likes sensitive guys. Possibly tell her you like her. Listen to her. Be witty and charming. Tell a few jokes. Show her you would be a good guy to date (ex. Be honest, caring, silly, serious, etc.). Show her your talents without showing off too much. As you can see, there are hundreds of ways to get her to like you. Be creative. Find out the type of guys she usually likes and be that guy. Try not to change too much though. It's important to be yourself. If she doesn't right away, try becoming friends and then maybe it will become more. Watch the movie Hitch for more tips. It's fairly accurate. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
i have this friend that i don't usually talk to. but we definetly don't hate each other. and recently she asked me if i liked this guy, and i said yes. and i even asked her back if she liked him too. but she replyed no. and i thought maybe this would get her off of him for a while, knowing that i liked him. but she's stil ALL OVER him, and it bugs me SO much. i don't know why she's doing this and it makes me SO mad!! (link)
|
I'm sorry about your problem. Until you begin to fix it, you have to know the cause, but unfortunately there are so many reasons she could be doing this: She may like him and didn't want to tell you. Or she is jealous. Or just very flirtatious. Or wants to get back at you for something you don't know about. Or thinks he likes her. Or it's a security problem and she feels better with a guy attached to her. Or she isn't all over him and it just seems like that to you because you have feelings for him. Or other reasons. There's more than one option for you, though: Talk to her and simply ask why she's acting that way (say it nicely though, not accusingly). Ask her if she lied to you before about liking him, if you did anything wrong, if she notices what she is doing, etc. Give her a "look" when you catch her acting that way, so she realizes it. Talk to the guy and asks what he thinks of her acting that way (or who he likes, or make it clear you like him, or whatever). Talk to her friends and see if they noticed it, too. Try being all over him first, especially in front of her, to show her what you want (this is just an option you have; I wouldn't do it if I were you). Be reasonable and see if you are over-exaggerating. Other than these, there isn't much you can do because you have no power over your friend's actions, although I bet you wish you did. Maybe start going out with the guy so you can claim him as yours and yours only. If your friend is making you that upset, though, then refuse to hang out with both of them at the same time. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
what do you is when you and your gf/bf should stop getting back together. like if they keep breaking up and getting back together..when do you think it should stop, or the relationship obviously isn't gonna last or work out? (link)
|
The answer to the question "i was wondering what are some signs/signals/hints (whatever) that you and your gf/bf should break up, or go on a break?" may help you, so see below. Also, by like the 10th 'break' (or sooner) it may be pointless to go out again, because chances are you're just going to have another break. This could either be for security reasons or forcing oneself to think a different way or fear of being alone or many other possibilities. Overall, if it's obvious that the relationship is failing, end it sooner rather than later. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
there is this person who we already went out but it was for a day. We both like eatchother a lot but this person said if things clear up we will go out again. i asked wat that meant and this person said there was this story behind everything and wont tell me.i think i should be the first to kno. wat should i do? (link)
| |
You went out for a day? Is that even considered going out? Anyway, that is very strange and mysterious that the person won't tell you the story. I think they should tell you, but it might not be any of your business. They probably have good reasons to keep it a secret, and are trying to sort things out before getting involved with something else (you). Try to ask this person how long they think it will take to clear things up, because you shouldn't just sit around and wait for them. You can't make them tell you what's going on, but you can offer to help anyway you can. Other than that, try not to think about this person too much, and go on with your life. If he/she wants to go out with you again, and you still like him/her, then go ahead and be happy. But if you find someone else or lose your feelings for this person, then don't feel bad. They chose not to include you in their life and instead make you wait. Waiting for one door to open could make you blind to all the other open ones. ;-)
|
|
i was wondering what are some signs/signals/hints (whatever) that you and your gf/bf should break up, or go on a break? (link)
|
Here are some of the ones I can think of: You fight more with each other, and don't get along as well. One of you cheats on the other, or does something they know the other would not approve of. One of you breaks their promise(s), especially more than once. You aren't attracted to him/her anymore, or at least not enough to want to be with them. You spend less and less time together and talks less.
If you want more signs/signals/hints, then ask couples who are on a break or who have broken up. They will have their reasons, and if they don't then that is sad.
I think that you will honestly know (with or without the help of these signs) if you should take a break or break up. Something will be nagging you in the back of your mind (or "heart") and even if you try to convince yourself that you should stay together, it will stay there and not go away. That is the best way I can explain it. And I can also say that you probably shouldn't ask your friends. If you do want to talk to them, then don't only go by what they say. Listen to yourself. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
i really like this guy, he's perfect. or he seems like it, compared to the other guys ive met. he sweet,nice, funny, good-looking and acts like a gentlemen. and he's single, and so am i. and i want to know how i could get him to like me. i mean he notcies me, but i want him to like me as more than a friend. please help me (link)
|
How to get a guy to like a girl. Hmmm. Of course this can't be too specific of an answer, seeing as how all guys are different. Some like the bad girls, some go for just looks, some go for those they know they can't have, etc. So I think it is in your best interest to find out what kind of girls he is usually into. Ex, If he likes really sweet girls, then don't let him see you yelling at some random person. But obviously too much of a good thing isn't good, so don't go overboard. And if you aren't at all like one of them, then don't change. Maybe try finding out what kind of things he likes to do, and work with that. According to Olivia (who is very into boys and should know what she is talking about), most guys don't like desperate girls, so don't show that you absolutely adore him or anything, but be flirtatious around him, just not TOO much. Smiling is also key. Do it whenever you see him. Maybe watch romance movies and see what THEY do and if it works or not. Sometimes movies can be realistic. These tips should help, but if he already made up his mind about you it might be a little hard to change. If he does like you as a friend, it may turn into more, so be patient. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
my bf doesn't like pda, which is really weird, cuz i thought all guys did. and i don't know why. is it because he doesn't really like me? or he doesn't want to show that we're going out? i have no idea. and i don't know how to fix it either. cuz i know he knows i have no problem with it.(that last sentence was kind of confusing) help me megan!!!!! (link)
|
Not all guys are the same, and although many may like public displays of affection, it's perfectly normal to be a guy and not like it. It has nothing to do with how much he likes you or if he is embarrassed or not. It all just depends on his personality. He may feel that it offends others around, or that it's inappropriate/rude, or he's just shy, or it's just less personal. There are a number of reasons. It probably has nothing to do with you. That's just the way he is, and maybe after going out longer it will change, but you shouldn't pressure him to do something he isn't comfortable with. Accept the way he is, unless it REALLY bothers you, which it shouldn't anyway but it might. Then ask him WHY he is uncomfortable with it. He has his reasons, and will hopefully tell you them and even if you don't agree then still respect them. Like I said, you may get used to his "unusual" ways, or he may get used to pda, so try not to make it a big issue. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
ok i am stuck between 2 boys, and i don't know which one i should pick. i kno each one likes me but im not sure how much. please help me i know that's not a lot of information but i don't really know what else to say (link)
|
Go with the first guy. I bet he is better because you thought of him first... No, not really. All I can say is pick the guy you like more. I mean, I know that is obvious, but just think about the future. (Not like a year from now, but shorter like weeks). Which one will treat you better? Which one would be easier to hang out with (ex. if you have the same friends it might be better)? Which one would be more upset if you went out with the other guy? Etc. Sorry I can't help a lot, but try to really listen to your heart. And not to rush you, but try to make your decision fairly soon because if you wait too long they could both leave. Don't be afraid of making the "wrong" choice though, and don't stress. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
Ok so theres this guy that Ive liked for about a month now and I told him I liked him on Wensday. So since then weve been talking, hugging, flirting stuff like that and he says he likes me back. Saturday he wanted to go to laser tag with me but his mom took his car so he culdnt then he called me later that nite and said he wanted me to come over to his house but i didnt answer the phone. And he texted my friends phone Monday before school and said "why doesnt she kiss me." "would she do anything with me" stuff like that. Then I get to school Monday and he didnt come up to me and talk to me. Now Ive heard he might be talking to some other girl, even though he still flirted with me and stuff today during bowling. What do you think is going through his head? (link)
|
He seems like a player to me. I think you should stay away from him, because he wouldn't ignore you and flirt with other girls if he really liked you. He just wants you to do stuff with him, so go find yourself another crush. Then again, he might think you don't like him anymore, because you didn't answer your phone and maybe don't act like you do. He may not have been flirting with another girl- simply talking. Don't jump to conclusions. For this reason only, I suggest that you not be cruel to him and stay open-minded. You will know he is a player by how he acts, so with that open mind, keep an open eye out for him. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
i feel like i'm losing my best friend to my other best friend. does that make sense? probably not, but i'll try to explain. my best friend is awsome, we've been best friend for as long as i can remember, but i'm starting to feel that we're growing apart. she doesnt like a lot fo the things i do, she doesnt like that i have a bf that i spend a lot of my time with, and she doesnt like how i live my life. my other best friend is alomst the exact same as her. what do i do? i dont want to lose either of them, but i feel liek i'm going to unless i change my ways. (link)
|
Not to be cold-hearted, but get used to change. Life is full of it. I'm not saying you should just leave your friends or not care about them anymore, but people grow apart and you have to accept that. The most you can do is try to become closer again, and if she doesn't want that then there is nothing you can do. As for not losing her, you can try spending a little less time with your bf and more time with her. Don't ditch your bf, but call your best friend up and ask her to hang out. As for not liking how you live your life, what can you do about it? You have to be more specific... how do you live your life and what does she not like about it? If it's something that you really can't or don't want to fix, then tell her how you feel, and say, "Listen, I can't change who I am, but I don't want to lose a great friend like you. Please like me for who I am." Or something along those lines. Same with your other friend. If they can't accept that, then you know what you have to do. Unless you seriously have no other friends (which isn't good anyway) and you would be depressed (literally) without these two best friends. If these are true then you will just have to sacrifice your true self and force yourself to act and live as your best friends want. If worse comes to worse, which is more important to you: Your life or your 2 friends? (Yes, I know friends are part of your life, but I mean the rest of your life including your family, your boyfriend, how you act, and how you personally approach everyday events.) Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
so meagan, me and my bf have been together for quite a while now and he's always been alittle shy.. maybe that's the right word, or maybe embarrarsed it better, but he never wants to hold my hand or flirt with me at school, or when were with our/his friends. i mean i didn't really care that much about it before but now that i think about it, i woudl really like him to at least hold my hand. cuz when it's just me and him, he's the sweetest. and he shows that he really really really likes me, and hes just perfect, but i don't know what to do about when were at school or with our friends. can u please help me?
(link)
|
Before I begin, I would just like to say that I realize your question was in my inbox for quite some time, but I was having some technical difficulties. Sorry for the inconvenience. Now on to the answer: As bad as it is to assume, I am assuming that your boyfriend is a good bf (because you have been together a while now) and that by now he can tell when you are upset or mad. Instead of joking around when he doesn't hold your hand, show your true feelings! You don't have to say it, but even the dumbest guys can see when their gf is upset. I am sure he will ask you what's wrong or if he did something (eventually) and this is when you have to take advantage of the situation. He really wants to know what is going on inside your head. Tell him that he acts different at school or around your friends, or better yet do these four steps: 1) COMPLIMENT him, 2) tell him how you FEEL, 3) state the PROBLEM, and 4) COMPLIMENT him again! Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
I was wondering who do u love the most and y? (link)
|
Deja vu! I believe I just answered that... Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
I was wondering who do u love the most and y? (link)
|
That is a very odd and personal question, and I am not at liberty to disclose the information that would answer it. However, love is a very powerful word. It should only be used in the most delicate of situations. These times include talking to family, CLOSE friends, and religious figures (like God or Jesus). In my opinion, love is too often used in today's society. Please refrain from using "love" in the future unless you TRULY mean it. Please and thank you. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
I really want my boyfriend to kiss me before I kiss him. I was thinking of asking one of my best friends if they would tell him that I want him to kiss me before I kiss him. Do you guys think that will work? And does anyone have any other ideas? (link)
|
Interesting dilema... I would suggest being patient, because he probably doesn't want to be too pushy or he is shy. Just try and give him little hints that you are ready, like looking in his eyes or something. If you really can't wait (that's kind of sad, but it happens) then talk to your best friend about it. Don't have her say "Kiss her!" or anything though; have her CASUALLY mention it or ask him about it rather than telling him to. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
breaking up with your boyfriend for his best friend...?
OR
still going out with him because he's a really good guy and you're afraid to break his heart...?
OR
what should I do, because my boyfriend is the most amazing guy ever, and he'd cry and be depressed for months if anything happened. But I just don't have feelings for him anymore, and his friend and I like eachother... help! (link)
|
You are hurting him more if you are pretending to have feelings for him. He would be mroe upset if he found out the hard way (without you telling him) about you and his friend, so you have to call it off. Try to break it to him easy, but remember that no breakup ever turns out good right away, so give him some time to get over it, especially before going out with his friend. But make sure you are positive you have feelings for his friend and it isn't just a little crush that could end in a few days, because then you will be sorry for what you lost (your current boyfriend). Everything will probably turn out good in the end :-) Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
Okay, i like alot of guys, but i'm told there is someone
out there for me. I wan't things to happen so fast, but that's not right.My question is how do you know when
the right guy for you is possibly the one right in front of you. sincerely, Lacey. (link)
|
I don't think anyone REALLY knows for sure, but I have been told that sometimes you will just have this gut feeling that this person is "the one." Though it's possible, it's not very often that you will find your true love in junior high or high school, so don't be expecting it to happen. The best advice I can give you is to explore your options- I'm not saying you should be a player or whatever, but get to know your crushes better. Think of the qualities you want in a guy, then see who has them. Don't get discouraged if you don't know a guy that has all of the traits, because no one is perfect, but try and find people with most of them. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|
I broke up with my girlfriend last summer and i cant let go of her. I dont know what to do but I love her and i dont know what to do. HELP! (link)
|
Why did you break up with her if you didn't want to let go? If she dumped you, then she had to have her reasons for not liking you. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't like you back, anyway. Try moving on and seeing other people. If she doesn't want you back there is nothing you can do but forget about her. Hope I helped!
~Meags
|
|