I'd appreciate some direct ways to say something to my bf of over a year.
we'd been talking and he needed a float loan of $800 for a few days to help with a mortgage approval. that is ok. but when he called about it, i mentioned the fact that one of my friends saw his updated ad on match.com, that it hurt my feelings, he knows it hurts my feelings, i care about him a great deal, and i thought we were over and done with that BS months ago. His reply was... can we talk later? can I call you later? I said 'are you gonna call me later?' and he said yes. I said ok and we hung up. I know his style and he'll probably test the waters in a few days and then never mention it again.
Guys... just help me say no more, clearly in a way that he doesn't just shut down. Thanks.
ps... me f/39 and him m/35
I went through this with the guy I love ... I would just confront him about it ... at least it worked for me, I had to break up with him but if you still want to talk to him let him know your always there for him if he needs to talk ... that way he wont shut down and think the world is over ...Just be as best a friend as you can be even if it hurts at least he wont break down and do anything stupid, thats what I did with my guy and we still talk everyday on the phone and online and everything although it is a bit weird at times ... you'll get through it .. good luck and remember you deserve better
- Malicious
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well lately my friend has totally been flirting with my boyfriend.She knows she does it but she just shrugs it off.I hate it!!like we will be walking in the halls together and she will come right between us and rather close to him i might add.i dont wanna ruin our friendship, but me and this guy really love each other.we've been together through thick and thin.Please help me and i hope this wasn't to long.
No it wasn't long at all don't worry. I would sit your friend down, alone, and tell her that she needs to stop. She might take this badly but to have less of a chance of her getting mad say something like "(your friends name) it makes me feel ucomfortable when you come between me and (your boy friends name). I just wanted to ask if you can lighten up a bit on the physical (a very important thing to say, phsyical) closness." Make your voice calm and forgiving sounding so that she doesn't go on the defense and start yelling. Let her know your not mad at her (even if you are) that way she wont stop being your friend since you enjoy being friends with her.
-Malicious
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Hmm... Where to start. Ok, so I've been going out with this girl for a couple of months and it's been amazing. Some of the best months of my life. And I have this friend that I think has a crush on her. He will always play with her hair and like give her little nicknames, and that stuff of the sort. Also, her one friend keeps asking me how much I like her and stuff like that. It is just kinda suspicious. What do you think, should I worry or what?
Coming from a girl my boyfriend feels the same about my friend Max. I wouldn't break up with her. She's still into you, just trust her. If she really wants to be with you, which I'm sure she does, she won't do anything with your friend. And tell your friend that he needs to back off of the pet names and touchy feely things becuase shes not his girl. But say it nicely that way you dont have some soap opera thing going on. I know its hard in this situation but just wait a little while, the answer will reveal itself ... (wow fortune cookie moment lol) ... But I would advise you talking to your friend to let him know how it feels when he does this. If your girl has treated you amzingly for the past couple of months I don't think she would cheat on you now. I hope my advice helps. Any questions look in my advice collum for my instant messengers
-Malicious
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my ex-boyfriend broke up with me and stared ignoring me.Now he found out me and his brother are going out and he is trying to break us up even though he said he didnt want me anymore what is his deal? help me please i still kinda like him.
Guys have a territorial issue. Even thoguh you two are not dating he most likly feels that his brother is stepping into his territory. Although you technically are not. I would tell your ex to realise he dumped you, which hurt I assume. And that you are free to date the people you want to date even his brother, your not under his control. Before you say anything to your ex or to your current boyfriend I suggest going out for a day alone to think about what your real feelings are so that you know your not mixing them up. That way you don't break up with your current boyfriend just for his brother and also so that you know exactly what you want to say to your ex. I hope it helps ... Message me if you would like or email me let me know how it goes.
-Malicious
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What do you guys think of a 18-year-old(f) dating a 24-year-old(m). And don't give any of that "age doesn't matter crap" bcasue it does. What do yall think of the maturity levels?
The biggest problem I see... The 18-year-old is still a freshman in college and the 24-year-old graduated 2 years ago.
I see the same problem. I'm not sure if your the male or the female but who evers in college is really young to be dating a 24 year old. There is different maturity levels however, a 24 year old male has the same maturity as a 19 year old female. Thats a proven fact so I hope not to insult if your the guy. I still believe however thats a big age difference, 5 years at this young in your life. I could understand 3 years difference when your a 'young' adult. However 5 years is stretching it abit. If you really like this person though I would jsut contimplate it a bit longer then decide. I don't want to make your decision for you but I wouldn't do it. Hope it helps!
-Malicious
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f/19
My bf and I have been dating for about a month now and he recently told me that he thinks hes in love with me. I'm kind of turned off by that because its so soon. He keeps asking me how I feel and I told him I'm not sure, I'm not in love with him, what should I do.
Just tell him you need more time to think. He should understand that if he really loves you. Some people fall in love quicker then others. Some people also take a while to fall in love. Let him know you still care about him but that you'll tell him you love him when the time is right, becuase you don't want to say it and not mean it. He should understand. I hope it helps if not you can always get my information from my advice column and i/m me or email me with a question.
-Malicious
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Ok, so I'm 18, f and I live in the boarding school in India. There's a guy in my class who I've knon for about a year now, he was my cousin's friend before I joined this school and now he's my class mate. I joined school in August 2004 and Ihad been mailing and chatting with him since May 2004. On the net he was the sweetest guy ever, and he was there for me when I needed him and he made me laugh and he was an amazing guy, and I fell in love with him, with who he was online. But then when I finally got to school hewould ignore me and just say hi/bye whereas just a month ago we were practically best friends. Nevertheless, my heart refused to forget the guy he was online and I fell even deeper in love with him. And so, I did somethings which ended up in me making a fool of myself and getting very hurt and him finding out. School broke upin December and when I logged back online, there he was, the guy I originally fell in love with. ANd it was just as if nothing had happened in between and we sort of picked it up in between, but this time, before going bacl to school I told him that I had stopped liking him and I had a bf, which was not true. But because of this lie, our relationship at school has become considerably better and we talk occaisonally now. The thing is, he likes this other girl who doesn't like him back and it kills me to see them together (they're friends) and I hate it, I just want to know if there's anything I can do to get him, I'm crazy about him!!!!
I know just how you feel. Its hard to know the person online is different then the real life thing. Its even harder to see them liking someone who will end up breaking their heart in the long run. I would tell him, in person even though it will be extremly hard, tell him that you don't have a boy friend and never did. If he asks why you lied to him, which he probally will, just tell him you were confused at why he was acting different.Tell him that you honestly just wanted him to be the guy he is online. You don't have to tell him you love him or even like him for that matter. Just let him know your not dating someone and that you miss him being who he is online. I wouldn't go right into the thing about the other girl though becuase that might make him pull farther away. Call him up sometimes to see if he wants to hang out just you and him but not as a date make sure he knows its not a date. He could just be scared about knowing you so well and he might not be sure how to talk to you becuase of this. Ask him why he's different but don't make it sound bitchy that way he wont feel threatened and he will hopefully tell you the truth without yelling it. I wish you alot of luck all the things I've said here have worked for me I hope they work for you.
-Malicious
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ok i have this friend and well he rlly wants to loose his virginity cause he feels weird at his age...(peer presure) and so he asked me if i would do it with him...im scared of wht ppl wouldthink (ive alraeady lost mine)...but i dnt wanna sound like a slut or anything
pleasee help me!! thnks!!
Alot of people go through this similar problem. I would listen to your heart on this one. If you honestly feel something for him thats more then just a crush then go ahead, but you shouldn't do it just so he won't feel weird. If you don't go ahead with it then just let him know your just friends, and that you hope your not doing anything with him doesnt change your friendship.
-Malicious
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When my b/f puts his arm around my shoulder is it beeter to put my arm around his shoulder or waist
Put your arm around his waist lightly but not forcfully ... Its more comfortable first of all and second of all it would look weird if you walked around arms around each others shoulders. That makes you look just like friends and not boyrfirend and girl friend.
-Malicious
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