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September 2, 2005

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October 4, 2005

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Hey whats up? My name is Suki. I love helping people and discovered I'm good at it by helping friends. I can always do best working with you to help you with your personal problems. I'm 14, native american & black & hispanic, I love mike shinoda from my favorite band linkin park. But I also like people, including you! So let me help you. I guarentee I won't waste your time. Writing is my life's passion, along with dancing and marine biology. (Level 1 Mod)

advice

OMG I can't stop thinking about this guy it is like a good thing i think... and like I am so confused! I think about more than half of my day and like i really want him to ask me out but like i dont know and like if he likes someone else i will be devastated and how can i get him to notice me

oOoo.. Guy daydreaming eh? If you think about him THAT much you must really really like him or he's super uber hot. If he doesn't notice you, try getting noticed by doing some of the things he does. If he's in soccer or chess club try joining things he's in. If you're almost as good as him or playing against him he might notice alot. Don't dress up all girl to get a guy to notice you. He should notice you if you have an outgoing personality. Don't be loud and brash though. Join some things he's in. If you want him to ask you out, maybe he's too shy to do it himself so why don't you ask him out? girls can ask guys out too! He might say yes, he might say no. But rejection isn't everything. But like I said, try doing the things he does and if you like it you can do it more often with him! Im sure he's probably thinking of you too. Just too embarrassed to say it.

OK, I have been going out with this guy for 8 days now. And we never talk, like maybe twice a day during school. He is in my weightlifting class, so we dont really get to talk a whole lot. His friend Bobby and his girlfriend Amber hooked us up, apparently he thought i was "pretty". So, I was like, well, he isnt really all that bad looking (i think he's hott) and he seems really nice.... so i thought i would give it a shot. But, now, he NEVER calls, i mean he hasnt called since the first day we went out, and its like he talks to me through Bobby or Amber... and thats why my old relationship didnt work, because we never talked. So i thought maybe, he's just shy (like i am) and it will take him a little bit to warm up to me or something. So like the 4th day we were going out, we finally held hands, and i dont know, my old bf wouldnt hold my hand and it took us like 4 months to hold hands (I know, bad huh?) So i was like this is freakin' awesome. So, he walked me to my locker and then left. So that was like the last time ANYTHING happened. And Amber said that he has done things with other girls, but he is still a virgin, so am i , and nothing (until im married) can change that. So, I just need some help on how i can talk to him more or something, like how i can tell him I am actually more interested than i act.... Thanks! - Maddy

Dear maddy,

Interesting relationship you have with him! I'm in one like that right now. But I'm busy trying to help YOURS. The reason why he isn't communicating with you that well is probably because he 1) thinks your boring or 2) found something else that he's more interested in doing. You said he's done things with other girls.. did your friend say while you guys were going out that he did this? If so, talk to him about it. You need to speak up and walk up to him and tell him " I want us to speak to each other more, i don't like the way I feel in this relationship, I'm really interested in you" You haven't been dating for long so i can understand if he's shy and has to wamr up to you. you must be patient. it takes time for guys to warm up to having a new gf. If he hasn't been in that many relationships he probably has no idea how to be a a good boyfriend or how to talk to a girl as a girlfriend. You can help him out too! Find out what he likes doing, if you don't like doing it, you should try doing it with HIM. He may have some things to teach you and some things you hate can turn out to be things you love. Things he does may bring you closer if you do it with him. He may find you more interesting since your interesting in hanging out with him and praciticing his hobbies. But make sure he does your hobbies too so you both get more experience and understanding communication out of each other. Dont let amber and bobby be his messangers. go up to him and tell him that you want to talk face to face or over phone sometimes.

there is this guy i like alot and ive known him for two years and we have always flirted and he just recently found out that i like him and now we barley flirt but he does smile and wave and gets really shy around me. i can't figure him out! how can i tell if he likes me? what should i do?

If he barely flirts right after he found out you like him, of course you can expect him to be shy! are you shy around him too? If you can't figure him out and want to know how you can tell if he likes you, try asking if your not as shy as him. Smile back at him, wave to him or maybe sit next to him more. ask to spend some time with him alone and when you do spend time with him alone, if he doesn't say much around you then he's still shy! try to loosen him up a bit and maybe slowly go for holding his hand or making more eye contacts and say things like " your hair looks awesome" or " i like it when you wear that shirt, it makes me smile for some reason." If he ever holds your hand back. he definately likes you! Give him ocassional hugs and be there for him and ask him whats wrong when he's sad or not feeling well. walk home with him! I'm sure he'll leave a hint.

How Do you know when someone is flirting with you.
and how cna u flirt back?

when someone is flirting with you, they are usually giving you compliments about some part of your body, what you're wearing or your personality. Or, they may stare at you. or smile or wink. You can flirt back by

1) winking
2) brushing any parts of ur body against his oer her's
3) smiling at them
4) making eye contact
5) giving them compliments
6) writing a poem about them

etc...

hope it helped

i like this guy. ive liked him before about two years ago. he was i guess you could say one of my biggest middle school crushes.we stopped talking for a while. got new friends. just didnt really talk anymore. im in high school now. we started talking again. of course my feelings came back for him. there are points when we talk that i get the feeling he likes me back. but other times he makes it seem like hes mad at me or im annoying. i told my best friend that i like him. she practically laughed in my face. she said hes ugly and that he only wants a piece of ass. i guess a few people have told me that. about last week we kinda i guess you could say hooked up. made out at his house. he wanted to go farther then making out. and i said no. which he was totally cool with. then just yesturday he admitted to liking me. he said doesnt want a girlfriend now though because of all the bad relationships hes had. which i totally understand. i want to get to know him better before we do anything else. but half of me thinks hes only saying he likes me to get a piece of ass. but the other half just wishes or hopes hes a great guy that i hope he is. what should i do? should i listen to my friends and give up on the kid? or should i go forward to hooking up and getting to know him better?

Don't EVER listen to your friends over listening to your heart and yourself. Your friends can sometimes be wrong or just say that because they are jealous or lonely. The reason why you think he just wants a piece of you is because of you listening to what your friends say about him. what do you think about him if your friends would have never put that thought into your head? get to know him better and hang out with him more. don't hook up to wuickly and don't let him rush you into ANYTHING you don't feel like doing. Eeven if he may become upset that you don't want to do it. If he doesn't want a girlfriend now, and you want a relationship with him, it's best if you keep it as friends. because if you just hooked up with him and became friends with benefits I have the idea that it might hurt some people that you guys are close to or will become close to.

I'm 13/f, I really like this guy, and I'm in the 7th grade. He's really cute and he's really fun to talk to and he's really nice and I could make a whole list of great things about him, but that would take a long time and wouldn't make much of a difference anyhow. We used to be good friends, but over the summer he went away and I didn't get to stay in touch with him. Now, he's still nice and we still IM and talk sometimes and all, but he just doesn't seem interested and has sort of backed down. He talks and flirts with other girls, and I know that that's not something to be really mad about, but I just can't help but be really pissed off whenever he's having fun with another girl, or talking and walking alone with another girl. And I'm too embarassed to talk to him as much, and he's in only 1 of my classes (Grrr). What can I do to build back friendship again, how can I approach him without blushing, how can I get him to notice me more? I know this is really long, and I'm only 13, and this seems like a dumb question compared to what's happening to people dying in New Orleans and people trying to live in leaky football stadiums in New Orleans but I really need help!!!

It's normal to be jealous since you like him. Explain to him how you feel about not hanging out with him more often. When he talks and hangs out with other girls. Make some plans and ask himt o hang out with you. if you're shy make group plans so it's more people and it's not that noticable that you still like him that way. He may feel wierd that you still like him and he doesnt still like you. If he doesn't notice you already like he did before, then obviously you have changed or he's looking for something better or just not interested in the same things before and growing up. try finding out what made him change his feelings for you. what do you notice about the girls he hangs out with and what do you notice the difference between you and them? To build back up the friendship, be your self. ask him questions about how he's feeling and what he's up to and why he talks other girls and hangs out with them more than you. If he's only in 1 of your class's, try catching him in the hallway and giving him a smile. hope it turns out okay.

ok like, i have this boyfriend and we've been going out for around 5 months(a long time) and now every thing about him is starting to bug me! its like i just dont want to be around him anymore but i've felt this way for a few weeks but like last week we went like.. way further that we had been. and he's always talking about how he couldnt live without me and like how he would kill himself, and he is serious. what should i do?

Tell him EXACTLY how you feel. If he bugged you before you should tell him in a soft way. Tell im what things he did or said bugged you. Don't try to change him and mold him into the perfect dream boyfriend you want though. That hurts knowing a girlfriend would change some things about her boyfriend if she could. Now that you guys went further than you have ever been, he now feels closer to you and now realizes that he loves you so much. Or he's just excited about how everything turned our and felt great. If you don't like the idea of him killinh himself without you, you need to tell him. Also try telling him how you feel about him when he says certain things and what you think he needs to improve on.

I have a problem, i have a huge crush on this one boy that I've known for a long time. He always flirts with me and tells me his secrets, but im afraid that I'm going to be the best friend. What are some things i could do to be more than a friend. I'm also araid that he is just a big flirt. Does anyone know how you can tell if he may be one?

Sorry if you think im pathetic.

If your not a smartass to me i might be nice. Or if your a smartass and you made me laugh i might be nice and rate you.

That's it.

Thank You.

You can tell if a guy is a big flirt by an example of this: He says " hey beautiful" you can possibly ask " hehe how many other girls do you say that to?" I know it's messed up when you find out your not the only one he flirts with and you dont feel special anymore. But if you don't want to end up the best friend. I think you should tell him how you feel if your brave enough. Or, if you're a shy girl, leave him a little poem telling him how you feel. Smile and flirt with him back. Be happy to see him when he's around. When he asks you how you are try saying " I'm fine now that you're here to make me smile." Just like he shares secrets with you, try sharing secrets with him too! He'll appreciate it. Try maybe hanging out with him ALOT more than usual to show him your interested in being more than friends. Or gently laying ur hand next to his. It may work! good luck! =)

Ok, there is this guy and everyday when I get on the bus he constantly stares at me. when I get to skool in the morings he stares at me! He used to like me I think. But I want to know if he still does. i think he has a girlfriend. Whats something I could just talk about right out of the blue and not sound stupied?

Something to talk about right out of the blue is " hey what did you do last weekend?" or if your brave enough and curious " hey how's things with your girlfriend?" One of those two. If you're too shy to do even that I suggest inviting him to hang out. But ask him or tell him he can invite his gf to hang out with you too. Then you can see how he reacts to you being around him more often and him being around his gf more often. compare things such as " is he pushing away from his gf now that im here and hanging with him?" or " is he snuggling up to his gf now that im here?" that can possibly mean that he's not interested or he's snuggling upt o his gf when ur around to make you jealous. if he hangs out with you alot more than his gf when your around, he wants to get to know you better.

Ok, so I was like in love with this boy last year and I played a harmless prank on him and he totally stopped talking to me. This year he has not said one word to me and he is my chemistry class. It's 2 weeks into the year and he hasn't said a thing. He's on football and I'm in cheer, so we see each other a million times a day. I really want him to talk to me and he just won't. Instead, I'm starting to believe he's trying to like telepathically talk to me or something because he will not stop staring at me. In the morning, he full on stares at me and does not even care if I notice. Sometimes in chemistry, he'll stare at me and I'll look at him and he'll look away, vice versa. These staring games are pretty silly. Other times at lunch, he'll stare and I'll ask my friends to block his view and he'll actually move to get a better look at me. I thought maybe he was staring at some other girl but all of my friends say hes lookin right at me. At football, when the cheerleaders run around the track, he gets so distracted by me that his coach tells him to pay attention. Why won't he just talk to me? He doesn't respond to my emails or nothing. He apparently just enjoys staring. What the heck does this mean?! I really need help. I feel like a celebrity getting stalked by the paparazzi and want to know why he is doing this! Help please!!

Heh. He could be staring at you because he's mad at you for playing that prank on him, or he thinks your hott and wants to hook up! I'm guessing it's number 2. It looks clear to me he's interested. Why isn't he returning your emails or calls or anything? He's probably shy! Doesn't know what to say. Maybe he does enjoy staring, But I'm thinking two things right now. He's staring because he's getting payback for that prank you did. He wants to stare at you to make you believe that he's interested in you when he's not. Then you approach him about this and he has no clue as to what your talking about just to get revenge. On the other hand, like I said before. Maybe he just likes your beauty and wants to get to know you more. He gets so distracted by you right? If you want to keep the game going try staring back at him and maybe smiling a bit. Step your game up by winking at him if your interested. It's most likely he's shy. But if you're not shy like him and interested... I say go for it and tell him how you feel about all of this. What have you got to lose?

Thank you for the stellar advice ^^;

I'm a little too nervous to approach him. No, I like him a lot as well, but I'm not one to hit on other girl's boyfriends, you know? It's wrong. I would really like to find out what's up with him, but the girl he is "dating" (this is still pretty murky about what happened here) is a girl that I was good friends with last year (we haven't talked much this year, but we're friendly to one another) It's bad territory, you know?

=) I can relate. If you're too shy or nervous to approach him, or you feel as if your being a boyfriend stealer to someone you were close to, but not as close to anymore, I think you should try leaving him little notes somewhere like maybe in his locker or desk. The notes can possibly be a poem, or maybe an invitation to hang out. But don't hang out ALONE. I don't think his gf would approve. Try inviting him to hang out with your friends and invite his gf so his gf won't get suspicious about anything. That way, you can tell if he's getting to like you too or if things are going good or bad with his " groupie girlfriend". But keep it friendly! If you're too shy about inviting him with some friends to hang out, let one of your friends do it. Or approach his gf and say something like " hey we don't really hang out much, I was wondering if you and your bf and some friends of mine wanted to go out after school?" Try not to freak them out.

how do you make out

Good question! I've never made out in my entire lifetime. But I have been practicing the extreme. Iv'e read books on " how to's" and " do and dont's" By making out, I suggest not making it into a whole big scene like.. Rubbing the guys legs and whispering " lets make out". If you want it to come natrually, try scooting closer to him, pressing against him and then move in to his face slowly. Once you do that, your lips lock. Try not to put too much pressure on the lips. If you're going to kiss the guy, make sure your lips aren't chapped, or too wet. Guys hate it when you drool all over their mouths. Kiss softly, if he or you decided to put more pressure on the lips, make sure it's not too hard. But Kiss back and deepen the kiss.If you're not up to making the 2nd move, you may feel his tongue slither out to the open of your lips while you're still lip locked. That means that he's ready to Intertwine his tongue with yours. If you're not ready, I think you should close your lips a bit together and keep kissing without tongue. But when your ready for his tongue, try parting your lips a bit and letting his slide it. You lightly rub your tongue against his, but not with too much friction. also make sure you can breathe too. Breathe lightly out of your nose. Make sure his or your tongue is not too wet with saliva. That could turn out to be a gross kiss! But keep lightly playing with his tongue. some tips that guys might like are gently biting and sucking on his tongue or nibbling and licking the corner of your lips to part them more. also, don't shove your tongue down his throat! make sure he doesn't suffocate you in the act either. With your body, I suggest your hands should be around his neck, hands on his face or roaming some parts of his body gently, or playing with his hair lightly to show him your interested or wanting more. =D Hope this was helpful

=/ I suck at reading guys' actions, so.....

1) He sits next to my best friend in my Social Studies Class. So one day before class, I went over to talk to her, and he jumped, yes JUMPED up and RAN, yes, SPRINTED across the room, and started talking to his friend. Matter of fact, he practically leaves everytime I come near. I'm not mean to him or anything, and we get along well (just got aquainted about 2 1/2 weeks ago)

2) When I come late into class, he stares. Like the other day, I came in late, and he looked at me for about 5 minutes while I was explaining to the teacher.

3) He'll only talk to me if I say something to him. I don't think this means anything--a lot of my friends say he does that anyways.

=/ And he has a girlfriend. Or should say "groupie". She's VERY obsessed with him. I think he just gave in, (they were friends) and was too nice to know.

What do you guys think?

If he's avoiding you, Obviously he's nervous when you come around and he probably has no Idea what to say to you first. Thats probably why you have to say something first so then he can think up an easy answer. He likes you. It's quite clear. Guys think like girls sometimes. Your no different when it comes to crushes! Staring for long periods of time, running away from you when your near him, him being quiet around you unless you speak to him first. Are all signs! Do you like him back? Ask yourself that. Guys tend to have small crushes on girls even when they do have a girlfriend. Maybe he gave into his " groupie over obsessed girl" because he was too scared to ask you out, or waiting for YOU to ask him out since he maybe figured that him staring at you would lead you on to him believing he liked you. Thats it! Your being crushed on! Good luck crushing or not crushing back!

I cheated on my boyfriend and now he is really mad at me. he is thinking about breaking up with me. What can i do to fix this?

Of course you don't want a lecture! But it was wrong of you to cheat on your boyfriend. I think that now that you did it, it's hard for him to trust you. You first have to earn his trust back. Tell him you love him and if you did it, tell him the exact reason why. was it lust? was he not treating you as good as u wanted? talk to him as to what put you up to cheating on him. If you feel a certain way you should be able to share it with him. If he decided to break up with you, it would be best to be there for him by his side and help him through his anger. If you lost him as a boyfriend you should keep him as a close friend. If he decides to break up with you, if you love him that much you'll have to accept his choice no matter what it may be.

well ... i got up the courage to let my friend erin tell this guy brendan that i like him...(i really love him)and i really thought i might have a chance cuz were really friendly and i thought he might have liked me.
erin was at my house at the time... so she let me go on her screen name wen she left so i could talk to him... this is how it went:
erin(me): wasnt that surprising?
brendan: i kinda could tell
erin (me) : oh?
brendan: not to be mean or anything but i would NEVER go out with her
erin (me): oh I have to go...bye
and i signed off... i dont know what to do! I need to know what to say to him... im allowed to go on erins screen name again in the morning... but idk what to say... what do you think i shoujld... should i try to convince him? well the worst part is ... i keep blaming it on parts of me... like i think i make too many jokes now... and now i think its because i am a little overweight... but i thought he was the kiond of guy that didnt care about looks...
please dont say "get over him" because i have liked him for 2 years and ive tried that!!!
i'll rate high...please ... i need help before like 10 tmw morning :-(
~heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,
Rejection feels bad.. Trust me. Since you don't want me to tell you " get over him" I won't. Don't EVER blame yourself for a guy not liking you. It's his fault. He see's something in you or on you he doesn't like. How is that your problem? Who cares if your a little overweight? so am I!! or make too many jokes ( alot of people do ) That's just who you are. You shouldn't try to convince him to like you... you can't make someone like you. I suggest that you stay who you are.. or if you want him that badly.. ask him or let a friend ask him what kind of girls is he interested in, personality or look wise if thats the case. He answers, you analyze the kind of chick you are and compare it to the kind of chick he wants. You shouldn't have to change yourself to get a guy to like you. But if you're in love, let nothing stop you! He should accept u and like you for who you are. Find the difference in the girl you are from the girl traits he's interested in... AND BECOME THAT TYPE OF GIRL HE'D BE INTERESTED IN. Improve yourself. Show him you got what it takes to be his love! but remember. keep your characteristics and personality traits so you don't lose your true self over a guy.

~ Laydee Aki

ok so me and this guy are always "cuddling" so-to-speak, we always lay on the couch together and he always has his arm around me and in other words we're always like having our arms around eachother..but that's all we do and its only for a short period of a time. i don't know how to explain it but how do i like "lead him on" to going further like i want to kiss him or make out with him or something, but without just giving it away. i don't want to just say it or anything, how do i "lead him on" to doing something like that? i'll rate 5's for good answers! =) thank you!

Guys easily get freaked out as much as girls do if you mention to them " OMG I WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU" however I recommend little hints. You always have your arms around him, maybe draw him closer to your body or stare deeply into his eyes to tell him you're interested in doing more. If he looks directly back into your eyes for a moment and leans into your face closer, I suggest you meet him halfway there into the kiss. I hope all goes well with you and your guy!

ok im 14..and ive gone out with tons of guys..but i havent had my first kiss yet..a bunch of my other friends have though..im currently dating this really nive really hot guy, and he seems to like me a lot, but hasent shown any sign of wanting to kiss me..i dont want to make him kiss me and send the wrong message..is that weird? what should i do?

xOxO--> troubled love

Dear Troubled Love,

I can relate to your situation. For I am your age, and never have been kissed. Yet went out with a ton of guys. He seems to like you alot and you like him. A first kiss can lead some guys on to them wanting more. I say choose wisely. If he doesn't show any sign of kissing you, I say maybe he's nervous. Guys think the same way as girls sometime. He doesn't want to kiss you and send you the wrong message. If you feel for him the same way he feels for you, he doesn't have to make the first move. You can. But approach him slowly. Don't want the guy to get freaked out! It's not wierd at all. You don't have to kiss a guy right now if you don't want to. You can wait until you really feel like it with the guy you like the most. Giving up your first kiss could be important, or maybe just fun for some girls. If you're not sure if he wants to kiss you or not, I say go for it or talk to him about it first. Afterall, he may feel like you do in this situation.

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