about

hello fellow advice seekers, my name is Johanna and I'm currently a student about to enter high school. My days are spent with my friends, family, music, and camera. I've been known for my advice and don't turn down any questions. Feedback makes me happy, so I can give everyone the answers they want.

in my point of view, i accel in these topics:
-friendships
-relationships
-school/work
-ideas/helpful tips

and who knows? maybe ill gain some knowledge by actually thinking of new situations.

it cant hurt to get my opinion, now can it? so ask away my friends.

sincerely, ask_anything

advice

15/f

heyy! i have a question okay so i met this girl and we hung out one time and we ended up going to the movies ((oh and my cousin came along too shes 15 also) and my friend is like ohh yeah jake and kevin were wondering if they could come too and ive heard of them but just never hung out with them before so im like yeahH! and so yeah they're the ones like like to do stuff with girls haha..yeaaaa..and my friend is very outgoing and not shy around anyone! and im the total opposite sometimes..mostly around boys and so this kid jake put his arm around my friend and they cuddled and held hands and i was on the other side of her and my cousin was next to me..and kevin was on the other side of jake..haha yeah sorry confusing! but i guess when me and my cuzin left kevin is like gosh why didnt u friend cuddle with me haha? but i think im scared to get close to a guy and then im also not outgoing like my friend but i dont want them to think im shy!! i feel like such a loser thoo i wanna go out and meet new people but im soo shy when i first meet them..and i have like no guy friends :( pathetic i know! and everyone says 'flirting' but im not outgoing enough to do that...what do you think i should do?

SORRY SO LONG!!

haha i used to be JUST like you! id always want to be that girl holding that guys hand, or whatever, but i just COULDNT do it. as much as i wanted to -- i couldnt! and it sucks! but what i realized is there's no other way to do except just go for it, and see what happens. who cares if the guy doesnt end up being your boyfriend, or even likes you for whatever reason- you've got to just do it. half the guys you'll try out during your highschool years you probably will never see again at some point or another .. or.. they'll forget, being the boys that they are! do it and you'll have more confidence that it's possible! even if the situation doesnt go in your favor- be proud! you stepped up to the plate! and once things do go your way, by that time, you'll be an expert! i didnt think it would work (as your reading this you may not either) but it worked 100% for me, and now im never shy anymore!

i feel your pain, and i usually dont answer a lot of questions on here, but def. talk to me if you want help on this, cause it's one topic i can truly relate to!

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ok me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a week now and hes really shy. i highly doubt he's ever going to kiss me so i decided to make the move. but how? how should i kiss him? i rate 5's. hurry with the advice!

well, if he likes you enough to be your boyfriend, he'll kiss you eventually. one week might be too short of a time span for him to make the move. give him a little time and it'll be that much better (all the more suspense). however, if you're absolutely sure he'll NEVER make the move, then just do it when you two are alone.. it really has to be a moment when it would be good for the two of you. such as: movies, hanging out at one of your houses, if you're at a dance (and slow dancing), etc. it'll hit you when the time is right, so dont fret about when or how. as for in the way to kiss him.. it depends on your guy. do just a little kiss at first and if he's into it.. off you go. if you get the hint. haha. but most important, dont rush it. you want it to be a positive experience for both people

-ask_anything

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ok me & my gf has beenin planing to go out for a long time now. i was wondering where a good place to take her would be?


-thanks

in my opinion, because we're getting into summer, these would be my favorite spots-

-beach/pond
-movies/simple dinner
-something silly like roller skating
-more active would be a theme park
-local fair or festival

it all depends on what kind of "going out" you refer to. romantic, fun, exciting, etc. im sure anything you do together she'll love.

-ask_anything

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my boyfriend is the type of guy to cheat on his girlfriend. so me and him both have myspace accounts.. we both know the passwords to eachothers and everything. today, i was curious to see who he's been talking to because i don't really trust him. i saw him saying stuff to a couple girls and i'm really pissed. i don't know what to say to him, because i know if he found out i went on his account, he'll be mad at me. so what do i do? i can't just keep this in, and i know that i shouldn't of went on his name but i want to know if he's doing stuff behind my back.. help!

if you dont trust your boyfriend, that's a big clue that you've got a problem in your relationship. you have every right to approach him with your concern, and if he gets angry, then you might as well end it there. you dont deserve to be one of a couple girls he sweet talks. as for the myspace girls.. honestly, i doubt he'll ever actually come in contact with those girls. people will say anything online, and if he knows what's right for himself, he'll know the real thing is much better. dont forget, guys will be guys so they do deserve a break once in a while. but from your scenerio, id say this guy doesnt deserve your time. cheaters are no good my friend.

-ask_anything

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ok i am really scared because i was playing about with my ex bfs school website and i requested a new password for him,Then it came up with my i.p address OMG can he find out it was me??? how can i avoid him thinking it was me?

i doubt your ex knows your IP address, and even if he does.. would he go through all that trouble just to track you down when he can just change his password again? to help you avoid him thinking it was you, dont even act like anything happened, if he just so happens to ask.. casually say you were looking for _____ (insert a clevor excuse). but really, dont worry about it.

-ask_anything

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yea so i just have a question. i like a kid but he doesnt know it and we are good friends. should i flirt w. him a little to give him some hints and maybe he will like me or just tell him straight out that i like him?

well flirt first, then see how he responds. if you get good signals back then slowly make it more and more obvious. usually guys will get the hint. if he doesnt want that kind of a relationship, you'll have to accept it. keep being good friends, and if you two were meant to be- you will be.

-ask_anything

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hi im 14 f and i want a boyfriend! where is the best place 2 meet one?
thanks love nicki
xxx

really anywhere, but i think meeting guys your friends know is the best deal. because there are a lot of creeps out there! so ask your friends if they can introduce you to guys, and then from there just go out as a group and meet a bunch! do NOT resort to the internet relationships, those are boogus. best of luck to finding someone. =] -ask_anything

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well you know how jeni and roger were trying to setup john and i ;well all those other times that john and i went out with jeni and roger; john and i really didn't talk that much well i think saturday was the day that john and i had talked the most. but let's start at the beginning of the night.well john and roger pick me and jeni between 745 and 815. We ended up getting there at like 830 so i was the only one that had to get shoes(they were only 2 bucks). the shoes were like half neon yellow and half neon orange. John was like you should wear those to work tomorrow. and i was like yes i would feel real cool in them. But then we started bowling after about a game and a half jeni's friend lilia and her boyfriend stopped by but they didn't feel like bowling but even before lilia and her boyfriend showed up john offered us all a drink i got a soda the first time. so jeni and roger started talking to lilia and her boyfriend a lot more than talking to me and john. So john and i actually talked a lot. we talked about me being in high school, his two job, my one job, war of bowling. Then he offered me another drink cuz he wanted one so i was like ok. So i really wasn't sure because the first time i was up there i got a cherry coke and i was like i dont know and john's like how about a juice. He's like your not allowed to have the same drink you need to be different. but the lady that was getting our drink was like let the lady decide. so i was like ok cranberry juice. we did talk a lot more it was from something to something else totally different. but ok you know i have my right leg crossed over left leg and i was just wiggling my foot and it ended up hitting him leg by accident and he ended hitting with his knee/leg. so we ended up hitting each other by the leg a couple of times. then like a minute or five minutes later i had my ankles crossed and my feet were like a couple of inches away from john's chair but after he came back from bowling he lifted up my top foot by the toes; those things happened when roger and jeni weren't looking

A little later i wasn't really doing good in this bowling game so john like you see that lady in the next lane to us; i think that shaking her butt is helping her get a better game maybe you should do it; i was like with what butt the butt i dont have and he's like everyone has a butt. that was before i was going to bowl my next frame. so i did my turn and after i bowled he's like where's that butt action??? when lilia and her boyfriend left jeni like i see that you and john have been talking and i was like yea. She's like i did that on purpose so that you guys would actually talk with each other. and i totally understood that. It was about 11-1130pm and we were about to leave and pay; well i was just about to pay but then the guy checking us out said something about it was cheaper a hour than per game; and john was like your a pretty cheap date (he paided for my bowling and 2 drinks) and he also said it must be because your so sexy and jeni's like browinie points. and i honesty think that i was blushing;
then we dropped off jeni first then roger and john started singing xmas carols to me. john was like i know i have like five cds in a case and he was driving and trying to feel in back to see if he could find but since i was in the back seat of the passenger seat when he was looking for it he ended up touching my left knee and im not sure if it was by accident or not then they ended up dropping me off. the next day jeni and i had to go to work at 9am and john and roger were going to go shopping so like on our lunch jeni forgot her cellphone so she needed to use mine to see where john and roger were at shopping. we couldn't get a hold of them then jeni called john number but she ended up getting his answering machine and left a message. then jeni asked me if i wanted to save john's number and i was like ok since i didn't have. I'm not sure what she wants me to do with now. But probably after he gets that message jeni gonna tell john that it was my cellphone number.


1. Should i call john even though im leaving town on thursday and wont be back until monday?
2. Should i ask jeni why she asked me if i wanted john's number?
3. Were we flirting?
4. Would you call that a date?
5. Do u think were dating or what is your thoughts on the status of our relationship?
6. Should i call him when i get back from vacation?
7. If yes i should call him what should i say to him?
8. Do you think that things went well?
9. Do you think when he hit my knee in the car was an accident?
10. Do you think he meant to hit me back in the leg when we were in the bowling alley
11. what did jeni mean by brownie points?
Crystal

just so you know, it was rather hard to figure out half the stuff you were talking about.. just for further reference : less detail, more to the point... it was good to hear lots of what happened, but most of it i bet you could figure yourself ;)

ill try to answer based on what i could get out of it though

1.) whether you call john or not is up to you, it might be good to call him before you go away so you dont think about doing it all weekend

2.) it's pretty obvious why jeni asked you if you wanted john's number.. because she assumed it was because you had an interest in him

3.) from what i read, yeah it sounded like you two were flirting

4.) im not really sure if that was an official date, but it definitly would count as a group date- or something close to it. a real one on one date would possibly mean you two were actually "dating"

5.) i think you arent dating quite yet, but if you talk to him more and hang out more, the relationship will build on

6.) if you call him before vacation, see if he calls you - instead of you always calling him (unless he asks you to call)

7.) if you decide to call him just ask what he's up to, casual conversation, plans, etc.

8.) i cant really tell you whether or not things went well, it's really a matter of being there.. if you felt it went well - then i bet it did!

9.) in my opinion, it could go either way - best way to know for sure.. ask him!

10.) most likely he meant to hit you back - kind of a "take that" flirt move

11.) brownie points are somewhat under the lines of good moves, or things you do that give you that extra "like-able-ness" to you. [as seen from john's perspective?]

sorry if your answers werent what you were looking for.. i tried my best! =] -ask_anything

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ummm ya hi i have this friend which i have gone out with him 5 TIMES i kno i kno its werid but he is sooo iresitable(cant spell.) but anyways and i still like him but i mean he flirts sooo BAD with me and i dont kno if he is just doing it cause he knows he can or if he is serious....for sum reason i dont think he is serious but i can never get serious with him i dont know buit i REALLY LIKE HIM ....he was my first kiss and ya its hard to get over him :( .....WHAT SHOULD I DO>>>?

well you obviously are attached to this guy. there must be something you keep coming back for. do you know what it is? hopefully it's some quality that is good for a relationship. because of the going out, breaking ups happening so frequently between you two, take a break. there must have been something going wrong between you two that kept making you two break up. if you really still like him, wait it out- make sure you feel the same for a while. some mixed emotions may seem strong, but are only for a short period of time. first kisses are a major mark on a girls life, and it is going to be hard to get over him. but .. think before you make the decision: do you REALLY want to keep going back to him? or should you move on? you should make the decision based on what will make YOU feel better. if he cant be serious with you, that definitly can be a contributing factor to the breaking up. i know i like a guy who can be serious with me about things.. a guy who is all play and no consideration for a real relationship isnt looking to stay with you a long time. think about what he can do for you- and if he is even ready for a real girlfriend. give it some time. it's hard to move on, but maybe moving on is the right choice to a better relationship. stay friends - whether you decide to give him another try or not. plus dont get caught up in the flirtation, anyone can flirt and have meaning to it. i cant make the decision for you- but you can. Look at it all from different perspectives, you'll make the best choice you can! =] -ask_anything

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A guy named Kiel, who works at the same place I do, started giving me notes, asking me if I had a boyfriend and kept telling me how nice I looked. Then we started talking on the phone. He kept asking me if I wanted to date him. At work, a lot of girls flirted with him, but he didn't flirt back. He basically only talked to me. He seemed very interested in me. Today, Kiel called me. We talked for about three minutes. Then, all of a sudden, some very angry girl in the background yelled, "HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!" (The chick DID NOT mean that I was his gilfriend, she meant that someone else was.) There was silence for a couple of seconds and Kiel said madly to the girl, "NO I DON'T!!!" Then the girl sounded even madder and told him, "F**k you!" Then some other background noise went on. After that, Kiel said, "Can I call you back?" I said, "Yeah," in a what-the-hell-is going on tone. Then I told him bye (a little nicer) and hung up. Then, a few minutes ago, my phone rang once, then stopped. Maybe he accidentally hit redial.

Then the SAME girl that was yelling at Kiel called me from a different phone number. Here's our conversation:
Me: Hello?
The Mystery Girl: Who is this?
Me: Sarah.
The Mystery Girl: Don't call Kiel. He has a girlfriend.
Me: He does?
The Mystery Girl: Yeah. Do you know him from work or what?
Me: Yeah.
The Mystery Girl: Don't call him. He's f**king stupid. He has a girlfriend.
Me: Ok. Bye.

What should I do? I want to find out the truth. I really like Kiel, but of course I don't want to be with him if he has a girlfriend. What would you do in this situation?

well maybe he was planning on breaking up with her, and that's why he was giving you hints at his interest in you. maybe she's a friend playing a sick joke? who knows. you should talk to him at work most definitly. find out anything you can when you're there. call him in a few days if you dont talk to him at work. the girl wont be with him all the time. hopefully he'll have a good excuse. if he doesnt, then forget him- you dont want to mess with guys who play with two girls. sorry that girl screwed with your head, maybe she was just playing a really bad joke on you? ask him, he'll tell you. tell me how things go. =] -ask_anything

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i have liked the same kid since the 4th grade..and im in the 7th grade now and he liked me once but at that time..i didnt like him and now he likes my best frend and ppl ask me why i like this kid...and there is just somethin about him that i cant explain..and dont tell me to get over him cuz i cant..but should i ask him out? or somethin?! i neeeed advice!

well dont ask him out if he likes your best friend. wait a while until he's over her or he moves on or something. if your best friend likes him too, make sure she knows you like him. if you've liked him for so long, you obviously find him to be what you're looking for. just be really good friends with him for now. once you two are at a good point in a friendship, things can move forward. dont rush anything, or you're whole relationship will bomb. dont get over him, you seem to have a lot of faith in him. good luck with it all =] -ask_anything

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oKaY...iM 13 AnD i rEaLlY lIkE tHiS bOy BuT mY fRiEnD liKeS hIm tOo.... tHe PrObLeM iS i DiDnT tElL hEr. i ThInK hE mIgHt KiNd Of LiKe mE tOo. WhAt sHoUlD i dO iF hE aSkS mE oUt??????????

WHoOAOaA it's kinda hard to read what you wrote but ive been in the same situation before. it was awkward when i found out my friend liked the same kid, but it was actually good to know. if you're not sure he likes you- but you think he does, you really should check. you should tell your friend, and once you know for SURE he likes you then tell her he likes you too. its gonna be rough for her, but the truth can hurt. it hurt me =\ , but i got over it, and things worked out fine. if he asks you out before you tell your friend, tell him you need to just talk to her first but you are interested. .. or something like that. im sure things will be fine. =] -ask_anything

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how do i get a boy to like me i went out with him before but i am a grade younger and when he found that out he dumped me but i still want to go out with him.
what should i do?
im a girl and i am 10

well you're only 10 - i mean, that's a little bit young if you ask me. he probably didnt want to go out with you because even though you seemed older, you really werent and you should still be enjoying life without heartbreaking boys. you could try to be friends with him, and then once your a little older- maybe by then he'll see you in a new light. you need to just get friend basis first though. and dont rush into going out with people, it may seem like fun, but you should really wait it out. but yeah- talk to him and tell him you just want to be friends and then later on (prob. much later) bring it up. but when i mean later, i mean in a few years. hope this wasnt everything you werent looking to read, but in my mind- it's the truth. =] -ask_anything

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Hi Johanna!
well i hear you give pretty good advice so id hope youd give my question a try =]

okay so ive been kind of wiht this guy but im not anymore and its a very long story but we never went out so it doesnt matter! haha anyways theres this kid in my science class and thats the only class we have together adn like im really bad at science but oh well and hes liek quarter back on the football team and everything and hes really smart hot and nice but like i hardly ever see him talking with girls cuz i guess hes just kind of shy around them, but i really wanna find a way to becoem his friend but i know it sounds so simple but i have no chance to talk to him ever he just sits in teh corner of the class and then leaves and i dk i just cant especially after that otehr guy i went out wiht ive sort of forgot how to make guy friends.. ohh that sounds lame but its knid of true, johanna can you try your best to help me! =D
hehe thanks alot...melinda..

hah thanks for the compliment! :) so- melinda, you've just gotten over a past guy and now you want to get to know this other guy? well i know how you feel to try to get to know someone and have a hard time doing it. you just need to bring up casual talk- not insanely long conversations but just hey, ask questions about the class or a test or something, get his screen name from him or someone else that knows it. talk to him then too. it depends how shy you are, and how willing this guy is to get to know you. im sure if you dig deep you'll remember how to make guy friends ;) . i know it's harder to make friends with a guy you like. (( assuming you do )) . anyways, try those few things, and if you need more just ask me. =] - ask_anything

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ok so theres this girl at skool who i really like, and we're like really good friends, but i dont know how to get her? any help?
-dazed and confused

when you say how to get to her, do you mean have a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship? because that's how im going to answer your question. id say you should definitly tell her, because nothing will happen if she doesnt know. if you're too shy to tell her, talk to her friends and they'll tell her for you. trust me, all girls like to know what guys feel about them. but be warned- your really good friends now, but if she doesnt want to go out with you, there will be an awkward space in your friendship from it. so be careful for what you say and do. good luck with the girl, and just plain out talk to her about how you feel- girl's like that. =] -ask_anything

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srry if this is long but
there is this kid in my school and he is shorter me and not very good lookin but i still lik him alot and no one understands and ppl always make fun of me for likin him and i already went out wif him lik 3 times b4 and he dumped me all the times but i still rely lik him and alot of ppl make fun of me for it and i hate how no one understands mee

how can i get them 2 stopp??

i hate how people critize others just based on appearance, it's so stupid. it's good you arent all appearance based, you shouldnt let anything they say to you get to your judgement on someone. to get them to stop, you just cant let give in or be upset, because they'll keep doing it. just play along, and obviously those people have some horrible attitudes. dont give up on how you feel, everyone has something they like in someone [other than appearance], ex: i like guys who can make me laugh no matter what. there must be something about this boy that keeps you coming back. as for those jerks who tease you- they should get a life and do something better with their lives. dont let them get to your head. =] -ask_anything

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I've only known this guy for one week but we talk online for hours and always laugh and smile constantly when we see each other in school. i think he likes one of my best friends and i really wanna ask him out but i dont want to seem rude or anything to my friend and him too... and how long is long enough to wait after hes broken up with his girlfriend?
thx

well if this guy you like has a girlfriend, then he shouldnt be looking at other girls because it just shows how commited he is to someone [which doesnt sound like a lot]. if he doesnt, but you just want to know how long to wait in case he will soon- id say a few weeks. although it does depend on what type of guy and what type of relationship he had. if you only think the guy you like might have a crush on your best friend- the best thing to do is clarify if you're right. just ask him! if you can talk to him and you both seem comfortable with each other, it couldnt hurt to ask. if your friend likes him too- you better tell her your feelings as well incase later on it comes up. if you wanna ask him out, just clarify if he really does like your friend- if he doesnt, ask him! if he does, wait it out until things pass. i hope the tips i gave you helped a bit! good luck with it all =] -ask_anything

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well i want u to know that i told my mom about john on thursday after school. i knew she had to pick up my brother so i told i had to tell her something important when she came back and she asked me if it was good or bad...and i said good.

My mom just said that i better be careful with him since it's considered rape. But other than that my mom was ok with it. But my dad on the other hand was kinda like he better not hurt u or anything so basically my dad is being very protective of me right now. So my parents are happy for me and arent forbidding me to not see him. so i figured id let u know what happened since gave me advice.


thanx much!!!

Crystal

aww im happy things worked out! im glad i could help you, and my advice was for the best! hope things go well with you and john! =] -ask_anything

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okay im not giving many details, but how the heck do you win a guy back? like you were friends but it turned into more, but never officially got there.. amd then it kind of died, but i feel like he still lieks me and i think i still like him and i just wanna be able to talk to him again but its too hard.. uhh thats all ill say

thanks

well- sounds kind of fimilar to me, but all you really can do is win back his trust. how to do this depends on the guy i suppose. If im thinking of the right situation, id guess you'd have to start over again. you need to little by little talk your way back into a friendship he knows he can like. it depends on his intentions too, if he plans on ending all relationship types- its going to be really hard. if he still wants to be friends, but doesnt want to hurt you- you need to make sure he knows you wanna be friends too. and who knows! maybe he still likes you and just wants to get away from all the pressure of it. but dont give up hope, i bet he still wants to be friends with you if not more, for the same reason you do. itll work out, i promise. =] -ask_anything

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I have a really big crush on this bannana my mom bought at the store the other day, and i dont know how to tell it how i feel about it or how to tell if it feels the same way about me. ive never felt this way about anyone (or anything) berfore..what should i do?
~madly in love

duhh make a bannannaaa splitt! =] it'll understand COMPLETELY! just dont rush into things too quick, enjoy it for the time you have it. =] -ask_anything

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