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Hey ya'll!!! I'm from Tennessee, I'm 15 nd in 10th grade.... I'm considered the "Dr. Phil" of many of the groups I'm in and so when one of my friends introduced me to this, I decided to join.... I'm a strong Christian, recently saved & baptised and I sometimes use God in my answers so if you're offended by that, too bad (I don't say sry for that).... Ask me w/e and I'll try to answer it to the best of my ability... If, for w/e reason, you don't wanna ask me somethin on my board but still wanna ask me it, IM me on whichever IM service you have and I'll get back to you.... Peace ya'll and Good Luck with whateva... ~Cory~

advice

I am a 15 year old and i need help. I have 3 guys that really like me. And one of them is my bestest friend in the world. And the others are my friends. I don't want to hurt them.I tried talking to them but it doesn't help. They are my buddies. I don't want to hurt our realtionships as friends. What DO I DO!!!

First off, you have to determine who YOU like of those three. If none, tell each of em; if one, talk to him and then talk to the others ; if more than one, talk to them and you'll have to decide (you'd probably be best to lay off in that situation.) And I STRESS the YOU part in that decision ~ I am currently in the 5th major relationship of my life, and though I do not honestly regret anything in my past, I do wish things would've been different when I walked into my two last relationships because I was pressured by others. Given time, I know that both of those could have worked. But because I rushed it b/c I gave into pressure, neither worked. I just recently gave up the opportunity to a great relationship with a young lady because I hadn't known her as long or as well as my current girlfriend. I cared for greatly, and still do in a spiritual and sibling-like manner, the other gal, but I knew that even though we were taking our time, we wouldn't have a chance because we didn't know each other well, and hadn't even been close to each other for a year. My current girlfriend, however, I've known and been close to for a year and eight months now, and we've been going out for a little while now, and things have been wonderful the past long stretch of time (as in, past six months). Things take time and patience, and you HAVE to give you relationships both. The other two guys, if you don't know every side of them, in every environment (i.e., school, church, home, out places, with friends, with family, without friends or family, alone, in a group) and you don't know how they are and how their hearts are set, and if you haven't known them for a long amount of time (as in, over six months minimum, recommended 1+ years), then you are setting yourself up in a very lopsided situation ~ AGAINST you. And your best friend, if your relationship meets the above recommendations, you may want to keep talking. But that's the main thing ~ communication is key. My current girlfriend and I have talked about everything possible, and not just recently ~ we've known each other's thoughts and hearts for many months now. These relationships where, "Ooohh, I've known him for three months and he's a great guy!" may last for a little while, possibly even a year or two, but are nearly always doomed from the start. Be selective and be careful. If you think you've found which one you'd like to pursue a relationship with, don't "officially" go out with them immediately. Take some time out together to go out and have some fun (to the movies, bowling, casual stuff) and have some good conversations about real stuff that matters. Then, if things are good from there, continue to move forward with the relationship. But DO NOT go too fast and watch your step physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. If any of these start to go downhill or become risked, GET OUT!

And btw, about the friendship and relationship with the friends issue, once you talk to the others about the situation, they SHOULD understand and wish you best of luck and support you and your decision. IF THEY DON'T, don't even think of them because they don't care about you. They just care about your name, or your body, or other things you offer them that could gratify THEM. DO NOT let them get you down if they don't take the news of a relationship (or lack thereof) well. They don't deserve a girl in that situation.

Best of luck, and thanks for the question. Peace and God Bless, ~Cory~

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hey i have a problem. me and this girl was together for almost 9 months but she broke up wit me because she said i changed but i didnt i have a couple medical conditions that took over and i let it. she says she misses what we had and i was wonderin that after i get all my help and if i show her that i am still the same person i was that she fell in love wit do u think she will let me go back out wit her?

Honestly, I think it's possible, but not totally advisable. Sorry for the tough truth, but it will take some time to get the experience and worry off of your mind, and hers. She very well might take you back. BUT it may eat at you both, causing you both to wonder how honest you're being to your partner, as well as with yourself. Right now, I think your main priority should be getting back on your feet. After that, take some time to just live. Life isn't all girls. In fact, girls, until you're straight set, should be near the end of your list. But get done what must get done. And after that, live at least a little while by yourself, just enjoying life and friends and what God has given you. Then, you should either be able to look around and set your eyes honestly on girls, or already have some wonderful young ladies who you could see yourself with. Work on building your relationship with yourself and, mainly, with God. Then work on building your relationships with girls. Hope I Helped, Good Luck, and I'll be Praying, ~Cory~

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I have this friend and he won't give up on us being together and i don't want to....I have strong feelings toward his friend...he says he's okay with it, but when its brought up he gets hostile....Ive never been in this situation before and I don't know what to do....me and the other guy can't even get close because of him...what do i do?
*I'm 16 and female and they are males and also 16.

Tell both of them how you feel. You can't let someone else get in the way of a possible relationship. Heartbreak happens. Just be prepared for any repurcussions on you. Things don't come easy. Tell them both how you feel and do what you feel - If you truly want to go out with the other guy, do it. If not, don't. But like I said, if this is a legitimate relationship with the other guy, don't let your friend stand in the way. Good Luck and Hope I Helped, ~Cory~

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HEY! OK WEll..i REAllY WANT TO GO FURThER WiTH tHiS GUY THAt i REALLY LiKE && HAVE KNOWN FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS!! && WHAT i MEAN BY FURTHER..iS SEX..iDK WHAT TO DO..i KNO iM YOUNG && All BUT i THiNK iM READY!! i LOVE HiM LiKE A BROTHER && All BUT i LOVE HiM THE OTHER WAY TOO.. && i WOULDN'T MiND LOSiNG MY ViRGiNiTY TO HiM!! i KNO iTS UNRELiGEOUS BUT i REAllY FEEl READY..i'VE GONE RLY FAR WiTH HiM ALREADY BUT i STiLL THiNK WE SHOULD GO FURTHER!! i REAllY DONT WANT iT TO AFFECT OUR FRiENDSHiP BECAUSE i KNO HE LiKES ME TOO && SO FAR iT HASNT!! i JUSt DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO SOO PLZZ HElP MEEE! THANKS

Child, if you're too young, why are you thinking of sex? Why pay for something for the rest of you life because of some temporary teenage sensation? And please tell me something, send me the answer (if you ever get one) But answer me this - if you know that it's against God's will... WHY WOULD YOU DO IT?!?!?! Plus, if you're so ready, why are you asking me? DON'T DO IT!!! Stop where you're at in the relationship..... actually, GO BACKWARDS!!! YOU'RE TOO FAR ALREADY!!! Backwind it. And please open your mind for just one second. Do you HONESTLY think that sex won't affect your relationship? You're relationship wil CHANGE GREATLY, you're thoughts will shift and sooner or later, turn to GREAT REGRET, and it WILL knock you down and out. I've watched many friends in your position turn the wrong way and they all turned out that way. And those who turned away from sex were greatly relieved, how would you rather feel? And do you HONESTLY think that HE loves YOU? And even if he does, does he love YOU FOR YOU or you BODY? Many guys around this age, especially in relationships like THIS ONE, are driven by the thought of getting in your pants, not true love. And yes, I'm being a lil bit raw (thought not much), but that's what it takes to get through to peoples' heads. And if this is who I think it may be, IM me. But I mean, come on now child, think about this for just a second. And LOVE DOESN'T FLOW AT THIS AGE!!! You may feel love, you may THINK you're in love, but you can never TRULY TRULY TRULY know love until you're past this age and not going in a relationship because of the promise of sex and being all over someone else. And I really DON'T think you're ready. I KNOW you THINK you're ready... and I KNOW you're NOT ready. Just wait and hold off. Back off, maybe even lighten up on the kissing, definately cut out the hand action. See where your relationship goes then and find out the TRUE intentions of the relationship. Hold off on the touching and the sex and most of the hot kissing (because if you hold onto that, you can't let go of the rest), and wait until you're older and out of college. AND MARRIED!!! Life will be much easier. Read the Bible too. If this is who I think it is, contact me or many of your closer friends, they can help you with the spiritual aspect. If you TRULY get in touch with God, you'll see your fault in this thought and you'll be much better off. If you need a Bible, buy one or I'll give you one or ask your friends or even your family for one. It will guide you. Just trust me on this one, YOU ARE MUCH BETTER OFF AWAY FROM SEX!!! Just please, for your sake, your family's sake, your friends' sake, HIS sake, and for God's sake, DON'T HAVE SEX!!! (and yes, i said his sake, it will knock him down sooner or later too if you have sex). And one last thing to think about - have you ever thought about what someone would say if you said, "Yea, I really like you... i'm not a virgin though." Or, "Yea, I really wanna marry you but I'm not a virgin. I gave it to another guy when I was a young teenager because I THOUGHT I was in love." Many people are turned off with the fact that you have already GIVEN (you can't lose, you give) your virginity to someone else. Do you want to take the chance of losing the person that you REALLY ARE in love with later on in life, just because of a decision made now? Good Luck, and PLEASE, PLEASE!!! make the RIGHT decision. I pray that you will. Goodbye, ~Cory~

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this is really stupid.. but i met this guy online and i started to like him ALOT. well anyway i met up with him yesterday he is the sweetest/cutest guy EVER. I mean we had such a GREAT time! Well anyway he asked me if I wanted to go out another time.. and I said yes.. but see he's never done ANYTHING with a girl except for hug.. and yesterday we didnt do anything! If we go out again will he have the nerve to hold my hand?? and if he doesnt do i just grab his HELP ME PLEASE!

You see, that's just a matter of how fast he wants a relationship to go. He's like me - I'm 14 going on 15 and just had my first kiss a few months ago. Now I have a different, much greater girlfriend, who I love much more. But with this relationship, I wanna do things right. Which, to me, means taking a little bit of time. He probably wants to make sure he has the right girl before he does anything. He wants everything he does with a girl to be truly wonderful. And he probably just wants to make sure that you're the girl he wants to be with. Don't force him to just jump right into everything, even if it's just holding hands. Hang out with him and be a friend. If ya'll end up going out, then still try to take your time with him and be patient. Don't try to force him forward b/c it could make him uncomfortable. Hope I Helped and Good Luck.

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Hello Cory...how are you doing? I'm a confused 15 year old gilr & I'm hoping maybe you can help. I have a boyfriend that I love very much & wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with. We have been goin out for a little over half of a year. I also have an exboyfriend that I am still close friends with and we talk all the time about our love lives...and he still claims that he loves me, but I don't have feelings for him in that way anymore. Anyways, when he was with his gf (now his x) he told me that deep down he still loved me, but then he broke up with her. Now he has a new girlfriend and he says that he no longer loves me (this all happened in two days by the way)..I ask him how he stopped lovin me in just two days and he says that his new gf told him somethin that made him look at things from a different perspective. REMEMBER, I sitll have my boyfriend that I love more than ever.... But when my ex told me he moved on I figured I should be happy b/c I had been telling him that he should stop loving me and move on...but instead I was crushed, hurt, & even began to cry. I don't know why it had that effect on me, considering I only love him as a friend. Do you have an explanation for all this? Thanks a bunch!

when you go out with someone and truly mean it, your stuck with them forever - part of your heart will always stick with them. this funny lil crushed feeling is just a showing of that... it's just hard to watch someone who was yours which you loved become someone elses. don't fall for the "i still love you to the deepest" deal... hang your heart on your boyfriend and just let your ex go. yes, there may be some pain involved but it'll be better in the long run. focus on your current boyfriend and things will smooth out. Good Luck with your bf and love life. Hope I Helped... ~Cory~

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okay i need help here. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a lil while and he tells me he loves me. Is that possible? Everyone tells me that he doesnt really like me and he is just going out with me to have a girlfriend. All I ever hear is reasons why we shouldnt be together. Sometimes I consider their reasons but then when I'm with/talk to him every doubt in my mind goes away. What do I do? Do I just trust him and get hurt or what? HELPP!

Well first off, and I hate to say this b/c I've said it before but, we yungguns don't even begin to know the meaning of true love.... we do feel "love" all the time but it's not the real, true love. It's better put as "I REALLY like you." It sounds stupid but chyeah. And don't listen to the other people about him. There's always a part to everyone that isn't seen unless it's by their partner. I'd say to go ahead and stay with him but... I dunno exactly how to put this.... watch your step. And especially watch your step because relationships that have the "Now I like him, now I don't" feeling tend to bounce around and usually have a few issues in them, but some do still work. That's one way that I know, at this point in time, it can't be TRUE love, but instead just like... strong liking (I sound like an idiot rite now, don't I? lol). So, trust him but try to hold up on the last part in your statement. Good Luck and hope I helped.
~Cory~

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I was thinking... When is avrage age to have your first kiss and how far should u be in a relationship... This is my first relationship, and i love him and we've been gong out for 6 months,,, When should you? I have no clue!!! I havent had my first kiss but lately I've been thinking about it...
I want to kiss him... but somthing doesnt seem right,,,and i was talking to my mom and she asked me if i would tell her if my boyfriend kissed me,,, should I tell her?



13/f

Well, first off, there's not necessarily a "set" average age for kissing but most middle schoolers tend to jump in.... but I just got my first kiss a few weeks ago and i'm 14 and i have a lot of friends in my high school with me who haven't kissed anyone yet.... but love, especially kissing and definately "moving forward" is mostly just a "feel-it-along" kinda thing... you'll know no doubt when both of ya'll truly are ready for ya'lls first kiss..... if something doesn't quite feel right about it, wait until it does (and whatever you do, NEVER let him force you along faster than you're ready and you don't do the same to him)... the feeling may not come with him - the feeling to REALLY kiss my last girlfriend never came and we were planning to go out thru it all and get married WITH children but we ended up breaking up because of some differences that hadn't yet come to light... just feel it along and when the time for the first magic comes, you'll kno - trust me....
And about tellin your mom, only do it if you feel comfortable... i haven't even told my sister yet and she's already out of college and i confide in her about a lot of stuff... but if you and your mom are close enough for you to feel comfortable passing that kind of information along, do it. But if not, don't worry about it.

Hope I helped...
~Cory~

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hey cory! i dont have a question but i wanted to hopefully be the first person to "post a question" but oh well! I LOVE YOU CORY!! im so glad u follow christ now! he's the love of my life and yours too hopefully! I LOVE YOU CORY!! but just remember jesus loves you the mostestest.
"when i am afraid i will trust in him" Psalm 56:3
~~bethany~~

Hey Befy!!!! You ARE the first to post a "question." lol..... I'm glad I'm following Christ too but I'm also very glad that you and all of the other people around us who are are following Christ. And I actually have that verse highlighted in both of my Bibles. lol... but anyway, I LOVE YOU TOO BEFY!!!! (and everyone else around too, lol)
Love Ya'llz!!! ~Cory~

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