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I am a 15 year old and i need help. I have 3 guys that really like me. And one of them is my bestest friend in the world. And the others are my friends. I don't want to hurt them.I tried talking to them but it doesn't help. They are my buddies. I don't want to hurt our realtionships as friends. What DO I DO!!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First off, you have to determine who YOU like of those three. If none, tell each of em; if one, talk to him and then talk to the others ; if more than one, talk to them and you'll have to decide (you'd probably be best to lay off in that situation.) And I STRESS the YOU part in that decision ~ I am currently in the 5th major relationship of my life, and though I do not honestly regret anything in my past, I do wish things would've been different when I walked into my two last relationships because I was pressured by others. Given time, I know that both of those could have worked. But because I rushed it b/c I gave into pressure, neither worked. I just recently gave up the opportunity to a great relationship with a young lady because I hadn't known her as long or as well as my current girlfriend. I cared for greatly, and still do in a spiritual and sibling-like manner, the other gal, but I knew that even though we were taking our time, we wouldn't have a chance because we didn't know each other well, and hadn't even been close to each other for a year. My current girlfriend, however, I've known and been close to for a year and eight months now, and we've been going out for a little while now, and things have been wonderful the past long stretch of time (as in, past six months). Things take time and patience, and you HAVE to give you relationships both. The other two guys, if you don't know every side of them, in every environment (i.e., school, church, home, out places, with friends, with family, without friends or family, alone, in a group) and you don't know how they are and how their hearts are set, and if you haven't known them for a long amount of time (as in, over six months minimum, recommended 1+ years), then you are setting yourself up in a very lopsided situation ~ AGAINST you. And your best friend, if your relationship meets the above recommendations, you may want to keep talking. But that's the main thing ~ communication is key. My current girlfriend and I have talked about everything possible, and not just recently ~ we've known each other's thoughts and hearts for many months now. These relationships where, "Ooohh, I've known him for three months and he's a great guy!" may last for a little while, possibly even a year or two, but are nearly always doomed from the start. Be selective and be careful. If you think you've found which one you'd like to pursue a relationship with, don't "officially" go out with them immediately. Take some time out together to go out and have some fun (to the movies, bowling, casual stuff) and have some good conversations about real stuff that matters. Then, if things are good from there, continue to move forward with the relationship. But DO NOT go too fast and watch your step physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. If any of these start to go downhill or become risked, GET OUT!
And btw, about the friendship and relationship with the friends issue, once you talk to the others about the situation, they SHOULD understand and wish you best of luck and support you and your decision. IF THEY DON'T, don't even think of them because they don't care about you. They just care about your name, or your body, or other things you offer them that could gratify THEM. DO NOT let them get you down if they don't take the news of a relationship (or lack thereof) well. They don't deserve a girl in that situation.
Best of luck, and thanks for the question. Peace and God Bless, ~Cory~
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