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Member Since: July 12, 2004
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Last Update: December 24, 2020
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When I finally get to the point that I feel like I am ready to socialize with people who may or may not be sober, I face this question, “Do I want to go to happy hour?” Anticipating the changes I will face after leaving recovery rehabs. (link)
You don't have to go to bars to meet people. There are plenty of other things you can do. Join a club or maybe a meetup if there is some in your area. Do you have a sponsor? Maybe talk to them when you feel like going to happy hour.


today i got a detention for cheating on a test.this is the first time i got detention.my mom expects good grades from me and will be pissed the f off.what do i do!!! (link)
Well what's done is done and now you have to face the consequences. You have to be honest with your mother. Will she be mad at you? Probably. Will she get over it? Probably. Question is have you learned your lesson from this? I think the thing to take away from this is don't cheat!


One of my New Year's Resolutions this year is to speak up more. I have a tendency to just sit quietly and listen to everything going on around me, even if I have something I would like to say.

I do this whether I'm hanging out with my friends, in class, or in small group at Youth Group. I know that in class I'm a little scared to speak up, I am afraid of being judged, its kind of a social anxiety thing, but with my friends and at Youth Group I feel totally safe talking, I just don't say anything.

I want to come up with some ways to prompt myself or give myself courage to just say what I want to say, or to raise my hand in class. I talked to my Youth Group leader about it, and he said that he will make a point of asking me questions in small group, just to help me out a little bit, so that's good. However, I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions to help me out with this. Any little things I can do to help myself? (link)
I'm in the same boat. It's hard to speak your mind sometimes especially when your in a room with a lot of outspoken people. What I'm learning is that you just have to push yourself a little and move out of your comfortable zone. Voice your opinions more even if you don't feel comfortable. I've been told that the more you do it the easier it gets.

Peace & Love,
Advice Mistress


I am a 24 year old female and me and bf have been together for almost four yrs. My boyfriend doesn't kiss because I get cols sores and he's scared to get it even if I am not out breaking he won't kiss me. It's been at least. 2.5 yrs since the last time he kissed me. He said if we ever get engaged he'd kiss me because by then he'd take the risk. I also started liking someone at work and I don't know what to do? I don't want to leave my bf, I saw myself having kids and being married to him . Help? (link)
I say leave him but that's my thought because when you're with someone how can you not kiss them? I don't understand it and I'm sure you're not feeling good about it. I would have a serious talk with him and if things don't change I would move on. I know that maybe hard but when you love someone nothing should stop you.


he need 2 love hm as he loved me before (link)
I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about but you can't make someone feel the way they do. And why would you want to? Wouldn't you want them to be honest with you instead of pretending to be what you want them to be?


Ok so i dated this guy and we met on a cruise and i was totally in love with him. Oh and im 14/f. And like 2 months ago he broke up with me and i was a mess. I thouggt i could get over him and date someone else and i did and it didnt work out and i still have HUGE feelings for him and i cant get over him and i get soo sad and i dont know how to het over him. :( (link)
Was this your first boyfriend? I'm just wondering because when my first boyfriend and I broke up it was tough on me.
You cared for him of course you're going to miss him its only natural. You are still upset so maybe dating isn't the best thing for you right now. Maybe right now you should just enjoy being single. I felt that way about my first boyfriend for a long time. Took me a long time to realize that I didn't need him but he did break my heart. I never thought I would ever be with anyone else and it turns out I did find someone that made me happy.


Female, 16
Okay, first off I'm a lesbian. And my girlfriend is bisexual. We've been off and on for about a year. She flirts with guys a lot and that didn't really bother me at all until a guy came up to me and asked "so, who broke up with who?" i didn't know what to say. I really need some help. I dont even know those guys. I just feel so useless... like i'll never be good enough. Any advice? Please. (link)
You're hurt and it's understandable. I think what you need to do is walk away from this situation and move on. Don't put yourself down because the relationship didn't work. You shouldn't feel useless or like you're not good enough because you are good enough and you do deserve to be with someone who is going to treat you right. Clearly this girl hurts you so why go back to her? I understand you love her, but think about it what would you tell your best friend if she or he was going through the same thing? You can grieve and be upset you have the right to be. Think about what you can take from this relationship and move on and start dating. Confidence is the key!


19/f

my boyfriend moved in with me and my parents in August. My parents gave him 6 months to save money and find a place of his own (his mother left him homeless, some mom!) so he is suppose to move out on Valentines Day.


Well finding an apartment he can afford is hard. There are some low income apartments behind my house, BUT he is first on the waiting list; she just said its rarely people move out, or get evicted so it could be a while before a place opens up. My mom told me that my dad isn't kicking him out, so he can stay here until an opening happens. My dad plays mind games. He's verbally abusive; he says that he is kicking him out after his 6 months are up, and it isn't his problem. Which I understand. But my boyfriend hasn't looked anywhere else because of what my mom has told him.


Well, Valentines Day isn't that fiar away, and there are apartments for 575 a month and he cannot afford that on his own. We have looked at trailors, and other apartments and that is the cheapest.

I'm in college to become a Labor and Delivery Nurse, and I have a parttime job, but at my job there is no way I could even help him out with everything. I refuse to let someone i love and care about be homeless again. We have been together for a year and a half; and if I have to I will get a second job.


I am just so stressed; idk what to do! He is so scared of being homeless again; and i hate seeing him hurt.

I'm so sorry its so long, but I need some advice. I just am at a dead end, and idk where to go from here.


Thank you. (link)
What you should do is you and your boyfriend should sit down with your mom and dad and come up with a plan. Maybe come up with a plan until he finds another place to live. Maybe he can do chores around the house or even pay a little room and board while he lives with you guys. I'm sure if you talk to your mom and dad about it seriously they would help out. I'm sure they won't kick him out if he has no place to go. Talk to your parents and see what you guys can come up with. In the mean time make sure he is looking for a place everyday and don't give up. Stay positive! :) Good luck!


I'm REALLY weird when you get to know me, but that takes a few weeks...Before you kinow me too well I'm really shy. I like this guy and I don't know if he thinks I'm super weird and it's a turn off or something. I make really loud noises at lunch with my friends, throw food at each other occasionaly, and we LOVE making scenes in the hallway. But nothing too big. :) So how much weird is too weird for a guy? Thanks!!! (link)
I think everyone has a weird side there's no such thing as 'normal' people and there never has been! I was told I was weird because I use to make funny faces and would make people laugh. I guess it depends on the guy but my boyfriend thought I was cute and entertaining. He and I have the same kind of humor anyways. In the end the guy should like you for you! Good luck!


How do you say yes to a guy when he asks you out? (link)
You are thinking about this way too much. Do you like the guy that asked you out? If you do than say 'yes'. It's your choice on whether or not you want to kiss him on the cheek or lips after.


I've been with my boyfriend for almost three weeks and before he became my boyfriend we were seeing each other for three months. He is an extremely out going and talkative guy. He has many friends who he sees on a daily basis. I've been introduced to many of them I also see his roommates every time I go to his apartment. This is how it's supposed to be but me on the other hand I have no friends or anyone in my life that I can introduce him to. I am a dull person and dont know how to have conversations. I stay silent 99% of the time this is why im confused as to why he likes me. What can I do about this? (link)
Have you ever heard the phrase 'opposites attract'?
He is the outgoing one and you are the girl whose quiet and that's okay. My boyfriend and I are the same. He's very outgoing can have a conversation with anyone and I tend to be shy I try to come out of my shell but its hard sometimes. Sounds to me though that you are lacking confidence in yourself and that you don't think highly of yourself. Your boyfriend likes you because you're you. You don't have to be anything special because to him you already are special.
I continued to ask myself the same question as to why my boyfriend loved me. And you know what he loves me because I'm real and because I'm me. I don't try to be anyone I'm not. I know who I am. And you know what I don't have many friends myself but I've introduced him to the people that matter and to the people that I care about. And he has introduced me to his family and friends. Heck his friends like jokes about how I don't talk because they are trying to get me to talk. I tend to do the same thing when I'm hanging out with my boyfriend's friends. The best thing to do is try your best and come out of your shell. Obviously say hi and be polite but try your hardest to speak to someone. Try to get to know his friends! Good luck!


What do i say next after i tell her i love ,whether she says yes or a no (link)
Tell her hwo she makes you feel. Tell her she makes you feel happy and that she makes you smile. Just be honest! :)


Hi!
I'm 13 and I have my eye teeth missing due to removal and there's two big gaps where they should grow in. Does it make me unattractive to girls? I also have braces, and my smile looks stupid. Any help appreciated! (link)
Looks aren't everything you know! It's who you are as a person and how you treat people. I don't understand the whole thing about looks because looks can fade. It's the personality that stays. I could be on a date with a jock who looks great but has a crumby attitude and a lame personality. Or I could go out with a regular guy who treats me well and can have a conversation and not look like Brad Pitt. It doesn't matter what a person looks like it matters who they are inside. And the fact that you are putting yourself down because you think your smile is stupid isn't helping you. Be confident in you, and don't worry what other people think.


I am 17/female. I have only had one serious boyfriend and we lasted 3 months. I am a senior in highschool and we dated my sophmore year. We didn't do anything sexual so i am quite unexperienced. I kind of want a boyfriend now but i haven't really gotten close to having another one. Most people find me unattractive i would assume and i dont blame them. I want to loose my virginity and experiment as well as have a relationship i have had guys tell me if i want to sleep with them i can, but i dont want to just show up and say "lets fuck" that seems rediculous to me. There is one person in particular i'd do that with but i dont think they're up for it, and they're taken anyways. The only other person i'm slightly close to being in a relationship with is my guy friend, i kind of like him but i dont know if he likes me. And i don't know if we'd ever end up dating. expecially since its our last year in highschool. I'm shy around people i don't know so i don't see myself meeting up with people my friends suggest to me, or blind dates or anything else. but idk i just want peoples opinions on everything i've mentioned. anything helps. thank you. and please dont skip your opinion just because others have answered. i'd like as many opinions as i can get. thanks (link)
What's the rush? Why do you need a boyfriend so bad? Sometimes these things happen, so why not just let it happen? There is probably a want for a boyfriend by why not focus on just you and then a boy will come along. When I was a teenager I worried about guys and what boys thought and to tell you the truth it was a waste of time. I finally realized that and before I knew it a guy that really cared about me was right in front of my face all along. I'm not saying that it works for everyone that way but when you step back and think about you really want it opens up ideas and thoughts.
Now another thing its not right to put yourself down and say you're not attractive. What kind of attitude is that? That's like a car salesman saying this car is nice but its engine is broken. When you say that you are making yourself less appealing to people. Be proud of who you are and have some self confidence in yourself!


what if you like someone that is your friend? But you dont want to screw up the friendship. What should you do?
redpepper2002 (link)
Well what's more important to you the friendship or having a relationship? That's what you need to figure out. It could turn out that your friend likes you too or it could turn out that your friend doesn't feel the same and backs away from you. So think to yourself what's more important. Good luck!


what does a girl say if a boy asks you out
(link)
Well if the girl likes him as well then she can say 'yes'. If the girl doesn't like the boy then she should just say 'no'.


am totally fedup and think i can't do nothing to change my destiny. My great ancestors where poor, my father poor that he even abundoned us. Moma poor and the whole clan. I have tried with all the money i had to make it but lost all my money. Moma always tells me i might be like my father yet i hate his ways, style and everything about him.I can't move any longer with this kind of life in Africa when there are people well off!! if i cant have it then my best punishment for failure must be death.am looking for the easiest way to die before january 10th. tried disone but failed to kill me. this year i wanted to join the US army front in either Iraq or Afagnistan in order to atleast die a fighter and easy but i was told they are moving out.what it the easiest and quickes way to die. (roymdking@yahoo.com) (link)
Failure isn't something that should be looked at in a negative way. If anything failure should push you to get back up and try again. How is committing an act so tragic going to help you? The answer is it's not. As I have have said it before and I'll say it again suicide is never the answer. I have known people who feel there is no way out and they feel that the only way to get out is to die. That's not the answer and it's not the truth. You have the power to change yourself no one else does and you have the power to control your future. So what what you fell off your horse. Get back up and start again! Please stay positive! If you need to talk to someone I would be more than happy to talk to you ohthatgirl1987@yahoo.com


I am 17/female. I've liked my friends brother for a long time. We've been best friends for 4 years, so I've spent a lot of time around her brother also and become pretty good friends with him too. I am VERY physically attracted to him. At one point he admitted he had liked me the summer before, and he knew that I have liked him too, but he didn't want to risk ruining our friendship by us maybe eventually breaking up after dating so he did nothing about it. Now, he got a new girlfriend last month. He still flirts with me sometimes, but I'm not sure if it's a literal flirt, or if it's just being friendly? I want to either how to get him, or how to get over him, or what I should do about me wanting him so bad. (I don't intend on ruining his new relationship though) (link)
Well the first question that comes to mind if 'how does your friend feel about this?' Does your friend even know? If you did go out and something were to happen how do you think your friend would be? Your friend's loyalty is to their brother obviously.
Another thing he has a girlfriend its best to just move on and start dating other guys who are single and available.


how do i get this guy in 6th grade to ask me to go out wth him (be his girlfriend) if i know he likes me without saying anything tto him? (link)
Well why can't you say something to him? It's not just a guys job to ask you out it can go both ways. I guess if you really don't want to say it to him maybe get some of your friends and his friend involved. That might give him a push to ask you out.


My roommate and I got along fine at the beginning of the semester, but things got really tense around the time midterms started. She stopped talking to me, and started listening to music really loud all the time. I asked her what was going on with our situation and she first said that I was a "know-it-ass" and that I should clean up my side of the room, and then a couple weeks later complained that she didn't feel comfortable in the room because I had been sleeping in late (I had been sleeping in late due to anxiety/depression). She told me that she wouldn't have agreed to room with me if she had known I had anxiety. She also frequently turns my alarm off in the morning. We've agreed to both try to move out for next semester, but I'm wondering if there's anything I can do in the meantime to make things less stressful. (link)
I have had some room mates from hell let me tell you. A girl asked me to room with her and oof course I had hung out with her for a bit and thought she was cool so I agreed. She became so selfish while living with her she got to pick out how the room looked and when to go to sleep and who was allowed in the room a lot. It made me feel isolated and I was very unhappy. The RA got involved it was a huge mess. I finally moved out because I couldn't even stand the sight of her anymore. I don't speak to her because of it either. Its a shame that things happen the way they do but maybe you could really sit down and have an honest conversation with her. You girls have a couple more months of living with each other so its better to make the best of it. You don't have to be best friends but maybe find a common ground and common respect for each other and how you live. Once you leave that room though and get another room mate its not always for sure that you are going to find another room mate that you can get a long with. Living with someone is hard and you have to make some adjustments and be respectful of the other person as well. Be the bigger person! Good luck and I hope everything works out!




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