Bio♥
Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)
Oh, and ask me anything!
Advice
Is it possable to seperate sex from love and feelings. I really love this guy alot he is my ex boyfriend and i want to have sex with him but i never have because he broke up with me. I want to have sex with him but im afraid that if i do i will only fall for him more and it will only hurt me more
It is possible to seperate, yes. It can be difficult though, because people consider sex to be so many different things. Most girls consider it to be this very moving experience where you are sharing your love with your partner, while most guys usually consider it to be just a piece of ass and an easy way to get off or vice versa. If you love this guy, don't have sex with him. And yes, I am aware of how stupid that last sentence was. Now before you stop reading this advice completely, what I meant was don't have sex with him until you are sure of some things. Like, are you going to become attached and obsessed with him even more than you already are if you decide to do this? And is this going to put an even harder burden on you? If he doesn't consider it to be anything more than 'hooking up' are you going to get upset? In the end, two things can happen from having sex with him. One being that he decides he loves you, and wants you back. Or two, he has sex with you and leaves you, and that's the end of it. You never can really tell with guys, because their minds work so differently than ours. But honestly, in my opinion sex is something that two people who love each other very much engage in to show their love and affection for one another. And yes, my boyfriend feels the same way about me.
I was rated a 5 ♥
Someone fingered me last night and I bleed a little today, what does that mean?
It could mean one of two things. 1) If you have never been fingered before, he could have rippid your hymen. A lot of people know this as "popping your cherry". Keep in mind that he still could have ripped your hymen even if you have been fingered in the past. The other guy(s) may just not have fingered you deep enough or hard enough to put a strain on your hymen. Or 2) If you have been fingered before &/or have had your hymen ripped, he could have just stretched or ripped the skin. Don't worry about a thing though. A lot of girls bleed after their vagina's are penetrated in any way. No worries. ;)
I was rated a ♥
i like a girl and she cant make out good how can i help her out with out herting her feelings?
Just ask her to follow your lead. If you don't like the way she kisses, then try leading her into the way you think would be better.
If her kissing doesn't get any better, then don't pressure her and don't let it get to you. It's just kissing.
I was rated a ♥
I'm about to go over to my boyfriends house tommorow, and I need some tips on what to do that will really turn him on. I mean I'm not planning on having sex, but I wanna make him really hot. any ideas? Thanksss ♥
P.S. I really love the advice you give; you're great [=
[16/f]
I'm glad you like my advice. Wow; that makes me feel good, haha. :]
When you first asked this question, I was pretty sure you were wanting to make him horny so you guys could have sex. But if you are just looking for ways that will get him wanting you and wanting to fool around then don't go to overboard. Kiss is neck whisper in his ear. Just simple little things like that. Hug him, touch him, and take control. ;)
I was rated a 5 ♥
my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and we have never had sex with different partners before. do you guys think we have a high chance of gettting a sti? we have always used condoms but now we want to stop using them because i started taking birth control pills. we plan to be married in the future, but i am afraid of getting an sti or something like. he got tested and nothing was wrong or anything. but i was still wondering how high of a risk i have to get a sti?
If by STI you mean STD there isn't any chances of getting one if you've both been tested and you've never had any other sexual partners.
I was rated a 4 ♥
Is it supposed to kill?
hes not getting past the hymen because it just kills. And the hymen itself kills.
I tried getting a tampon in ...even that hurts in the same way
Is there a physical problem...i mean this is too painful for it to feel normal
It's not supposed to kill you literally, but I guess you are aware of this, but it does hurt pretty bad. If you are going to have sex, then he will most likely rip your hymen. It's just normal. If it hurt to get a tampon in, you weren't doing it right. Read the directions and make sure you are inserting it in the correct way. It is possible that you have a physical problem, I forgot what it was called, but it's possible. Sex is very painful, but it gets better in time. Here's the deal, make sure you are horny & very wet. If you can't get wet, try lubrication. KY Jelly kicks ass. Use it even if you are wet. Make sure he fingers you before you ahve sex and make sure you are loosened up quite a bit before penetration. Try masturbating, this will make you less tight, and it will make it hurt less.
good luck, and i'm sorry you have to go through this.
I was rated a ♥
alright well my boyfriend and i have been getting very serious about our relationship. and we havent FULLY had sex yet but i mean hes gotten to my downstairs with his without a condom. he knows how to control his cum so i trusted him. my cherry hasnt been popped yet either..so i guess im still pretty virgin...but what i was wondering was like do you think even though my cherry has not been popped (atleast i dont think so because i havent bled like everyone says you do) something could happen?
When you say "do you think something could happen"
do you mean pregnancy or STDs? If so, yes something could happen. You can get pregnant by precum and it doesn't matter if he can 'control is cum' or not. If there hasn't been any penetration, the chance of you being pregnant is very low, but also possible. So be careful.
I was rated a ♥
OK, So I've read a article about not douching. It says that it takes longer for women to get pregnant and even when they do they have a higher chance of having a etopic pregnancy. Also it stated that you can get bacterial vaginosis (Kind of like a yeast infection) easier. This sucks after reading it because I ahve always douched. I don't ever FEEL clean until I do. Which is once a week or week and a 1/2. Can I empty the contents of the bottle and just use water? Is that any less harmful or about the same?
Douching is bad for you, and it will still be bad for you even if you just use water. I'm not sure if it makes it harder to conceive, but I do know there is a lot of bad things abotu it. My advice is to stop douching altogether. If you don't feel clean without it, try other means of cleaning yourself. Plain soap and water can do wonders you know. And if that isn't quite up to your standards, try buying feminine wipes, like Summer's Eve.
[EDiT] I suppose you are right, I was just trying to think of some other ways to make you feel cleaner. You know?
I was rated a 4 ♥
does sex and masterbation feel the same or is it
diffrent (for the first time)?
If you've masturbated for a while, it will be better than sex the first few times only because sex hurts at first. After you've gotten used to having sex and it doesn't hurt anymore then sex is usually better.
I was rated a ♥
uhmm everyone always says like dry sex and i dont exactly know what it is and whats the difference between normal sex?
Dry sex is like dry humping. Meaning you are clothed and just rubbing your genitals against each others for pleasure. In normal sex you penetrate a penis into a vagina.
I was rated a ♥
if you took a pregnancy test and it came out positve can you still have your period every month or does it mean you lost the baby
Well actually some women can still have their period while they are pregnant, but it's usually very unlikely. When you have a miscarriage, usually you have blood come out of you that period-like, but much heavier with many more clots. If you were pregnant and you started your period, try taking another pregnancy test. If it comes out positive, you & your baby are most likely fine. And if it comes out negative make sure to go to the doctor. Because with miscarriages, parts of the fetus can get left in the uterus causing serious infections.
I was rated a ♥
okay so im a girl and people say that you should clean your "down there" but i dont have a douche is it safe to use like regular soap? or something like that??
It is safe to use regular soap, yes. But you have to make sure you rinse really well, because if you don't you will experience a burning sensation. It's really not safe to use douches everyday, because it gets rid of all of your natural cleaning lubrications. You're actually only supposed to use them after sexual intercourse and if you are ummm, really dirty down there. Lol.
I was rated a ♥
how do i know when i'm experiencing an orgasm. like, when my boyfriend fingers me, it is the best feeling ever and i get really wet but i still don't know how i can tell. when a guy ejeculates he is having one, but how can girls tell for sure that they are?
You just know, really. Usually girls can cum also. That's when you can really for sure tell. But really, it's the best feeling of the entire sexual experience. Usually you get kind of tired and need a minute to recooporate before you can go again, which is a good indication that you got off.
I was rated a ♥
i was just wondering if having sexual intercourse "feel" the same as masterbating?
is it better or worse?
thanks
Sex is usually better depending on the person. But the first few times it hurts worse. Unless you have any other questions about this, there isn't much else I can say.
I was rated a 5 ♥
I shaved "down there" about a month ago. I got terrible bumps, which I guess I should have expected. But these bumps haven't gone away and now they are like pimples, getting white heads and they bleed when I pop them. Is this normal?
And no, I do not have an STD...I am married, happily for 7 years and there is no possibility of either of us cheating.
I will never shave "down there" again, I was wondering how Nair would work? Any suggestions?
When I shaved in the past, the same thing has happened to me. They are ingrown hairs. Leave them alone, and do not try to pop them. You can use nair, only the hairs down there have to be long before it can work accurately. Try waxing. It's not very comfortable, but it keeps the hairs from coming back for a while and it doesn't leave nasty ingrown hairs.
I was rated a 5 ♥
ok so i am a virgin and one time i slipped a condom onto my finger and stuck it inside of me to see how it felt, then this white stuff appeared in my vagina and it smelled like latex. what was it?
The white stuff was probably precum, it's normal because you were pretty much fingering yourself. The latex smell was most likely well, latex. When you use a condom, your vagina will smell like latex.
I was rated a ♥
umm this may be a stupid question, but how do you kiss? i mean do you just go for it? what do guys expect out of a 13 year old? closed mouth open-mouthed? please help!
Do what feels right. Following the guys lead is probably the best way to go for your first kiss. If he tries to french kiss you, make sure to do what he doesn. It's ok if you are nervous, it's normal. Don't worry and don't ponder on it to much.. ok?
I was rated a ♥
i have this cousin who is 15 and im 13 and he is so hot and he has been checking me out and i was wondering (we are blood related) what would happen if we made out or worse.
Nothing would happen if you just made out, but if anyone ever found out they probably wouldn't let you live it down; especially your family. If you had sex with him, still nothing would happen. Except once again, no one would ever let you live it down, and almost everyone would call you guys incestuous. Not trying to be mean, but this actually means you are. If you happened to get pregnant, the baby would have many things wrong with it. It could even kill it.
In all honesty, do not do anything with this boy. It would only end in tragedy.
I was rated a ♥
are there any signs youre going to get your period for the first time? and ifso how long after you get the sign will you get your period?
Some of the signs that you are about to start your period for the first time include the same things as PMS really. You may spot i.e bleed a little bit every now and then. Or you may get grumpy and cramp a lot. You can't tell how long after these signs you will get your period, but it shouldn't be to long after.
I was rated a ♥
i gave head on july 11th. and now i have 3 canker sores in my mouthhh...do i have herpes? or is that a sign...should i get it checked oout....
It could be herpes, yes. Go to the doctor and see for yourself so you can know for sure. But just because it's a possibility doesn't mean that you do have them. It could simply be cold sores. Try keeping abreva on them, and if they don't go away, go to the doctor.
I was rated a 5 ♥