Bio♥
Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)
Oh, and ask me anything!
Advice
Ok well i really like this guy (NEW BOYFRIEND) and i think hes cute... well hes kind of a big guy...hes like 6'2 probably like 250 pounds...and im like 5'2 100 pounds...so like idk bout the hole sex thing like...ive never had sex with a guy that much bigger than me before and im kind of wondering what that is gonna be like. Have any ideas on what to expect or like any kind of advice?
honestly? if i were you i'd expect pain. considering the size difference, ouch.
just make sure you're well lubricated & tell him to go slow while you guys have sex.
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i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year but im starting to have major feelings for an ex boyfriend. i know its very bad of me but my boyfriend now just isnt making me happy anymore and i dont know what to do. my boyfriend lies to me about everything so im to the point i dont know whats real and whats a lie. hes lied about smoking (twice), going to a party, going to school, and to as stupid as how much he spends on something. i just dont understand. he tells me hell change but hes said that since day one and it continues. also on two occasions he didnt go to school once i found an earring and the other time i found an ankle bracelet. i asked whose it was and he told me he didnt know. i told him i thought he was cheating on me and he got all mad and said he wasnt. im just not happy anymore. i love him to death though. but my ex boyfriend and me have been talking the past 3 days and im not sure whats gonna happen but hes making me so happy. ive been smiling nonstop and hes making me feel whole i talked to him yesterday from 1:30 pm all the way til 5 am nonstop. on the internet and phone. i just dont know what to do. i dont want to hurt my boyfriend but in the same sense im not happy. but i dont wanna rush it with my ex boyfriend either. please help me
If your boyfriend is lying to you, then get out of the relationship. He's obviously not making you happy, and apparently he can't trust you no more than you can trust him if he's not telling you the truth over insignificant things, such as the cost of something. That's just dumb. Don't be with him if you don't trust him.
At the same time though, he has feelings also. I'm pretty sure he truely loves you, or else he wouldn't have stayed with you after all these months. So don't talk to this ex of yours until you & your current boyfriend are over for good. You talking to him now will cause nothing but drama. Before you break up with him though, think about this and make sure this is what you really want to do.
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i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year but im starting to have major feelings for an ex boyfriend. i know its very bad of me but my boyfriend now just isnt making me happy anymore and i dont know what to do. my boyfriend lies to me about everything so im to the point i dont know whats real and whats a lie. hes lied about smoking (twice), going to a party, going to school, and to as stupid as how much he spends on something. i just dont understand. he tells me hell change but hes said that since day one and it continues. also on two occasions he didnt go to school once i found an earring and the other time i found an ankle bracelet. i asked whose it was and he told me he didnt know. i told him i thought he was cheating on me and he got all mad and said he wasnt. im just not happy anymore. i love him to death though. but my ex boyfriend and me have been talking the past 3 days and im not sure whats gonna happen but hes making me so happy. ive been smiling nonstop and hes making me feel whole i talked to him yesterday from 1:30 pm all the way til 5 am nonstop. on the internet and phone. i just dont know what to do. i dont want to hurt my boyfriend but in the same sense im not happy. but i dont wanna rush it with my ex boyfriend either. please help me
If your boyfriend is lying to you, then get out of the relationship. He's obviously not making you happy, and apparently he can't trust you no more than you can trust him if he's not telling you the truth over insignificant things, such as the cost of something. That's just dumb. Don't be with him if you don't trust him.
At the same time though, he has feelings also. I'm pretty sure he truely loves you, or else he wouldn't have stayed with you after all these months. So don't talk to this ex of yours until you & your current boyfriend are over for good. You talking to him now will cause nothing but drama. Before you break up with him though, think about this and make sure this is what you really want to do.
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can you get stds if you get head because my friend said you cant but i dont believe him
yeah, you can get an std from giving head.
watch my spelling, it's probably way off; gonnorehea, syphilis, warts, herpes, and probably many more. these were just some ones i knew right off hand from sex ed & lifetime movies :]
most can be cured, but others like herpes for instance, are with you for life. so be careful. even when giving head, make him wear a condom if you have any doubts.
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i want to go on the pill. i heard it can make you gain weight, and i definately do not want to gain weight. is this true? thank yooouuuu ..
it can be.
it can also make you lose weight though. i'd say give it a try, and depending on the side effects, decide what you want to do from there.
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what happens if you take three dosuse of your birth conrtol pill ?
Probably nothing except that it will mess up your cycle, and probably make you sick to your stomache. Be careful though, and overdose of any medication can be dangerous to your health, so if you're worried about it, get help asap.
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okay so im going shopping today i prefer abercrombie, hollister and "preppy" clothes like that.
well i was wondering if i have to shop at the regular women`s abercrombie and fitch because i wear size 9 in juniors. and also i`ve only been there a few times but do they have good sales?
-also, where are some stores where you can find good fitting, cute jeans like 20$ and under because im tired of having to buy expensive jeans.
- and also cute shirt, acc. and like flats and puma shoes.
A&F, HCO, AE and other shopping outlets in the prep genre are going to be expensive. They may have sells, but even then it's going to be pretty pricey.
And they should have your sizes, they just may be different. For example, at A&F I wear a size 0 and at HCO I wear a size 3. Just make sure to try the clothes on while you are there to make sure they fit. Especially the jeans.
And as for the shoes, try going to the mall and browsing. They usually have TONS of shoe stores.
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Iam a 17 female and i've had sex with several different guys all my boyfriends at one point.I have sex like 4 times a week with my present boyfriend and i think i may be pregnant what should i do?
If you are addicted to sex, then whatever. You are, and it's your life. Unless you want to change this, then it's alright.
Having sex 4 times a week, that's cool also. Just use protection. Birth Control, Condoms, anything really.
If you think you are pregnant, buy a home pregnancy test to be sure. Then, depending on what you want to do [abortion, adoption, keeping it] go to a doctor and talk about the options available to you.
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what is yeast infection? my friends told me is a vaginal infection??? im 17/f and i think i might got yeast infection... im a pure virgin and sure that never sit on ne thing that is contaimanated. but i got alot of yellowish and something brown discharge and some time it kinda got smells too and between rectal and vagina there are little cuts too it hurts and some time i feel the discharge is alot ( i could feel is kinda wet, sry if is kinda grows) and it itches alot... when i take shower i could feel the pimple like bumps around my girl part! what is it? if is yeast infection what could cause it???? i never had sex before how could i caught some thing like this???? pls help me im very afarid
PS: i cant tell my pareants or go c dr for a very personal reason sry... BUT PLZ NE HELP WILL BE VERY NICE!!!
You don't get bumps from a yeast infection, and you don't get a yeast infection from sex. It's completely ok to have one, because most all women have at least 3 in their lifetimes i'm sure. You may need to go to a doctor for the bumps, but the other symptoms sound like a yeast infection.
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13/f. is it totally weird i get "urges" a lot. i'm only 13 but i always feel kinda "sexual". like, this might weird but i have this little stress ball and sometimes i use it as a sex toy. is this really bad? i'm gonna wait till i get married of course. but sometimes i feel bad cause i do that, or think about sex. i need some advice guys! thanks!
your thirteen, so these urges will only get worse as you grow :]
it's totally fine though, so don't think it's weird to masturbate. it's good you want to wait, & i hope you stick to that.
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ok now one time i tried 2 jack off but after i was done my penis was all red and and it was itchin really bad the next time i tried with lotion.when i was done it still was red and itchy.people say it feels good when they do it.i try 2 do it and it never feels good and it still red and itchy i dont get what im duin wrong.no mater how long i do it,it never feels good please help me
masturbation shouldn't change the color of your penis & it certainly shouldn't make it itchy. maybe you have an infection? ask your parents about it.
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Okay so I like this boy and I thought he liked me but all he wants to do is have sex. Should I or should'nt I? I always told myself I would never think of things like this I would always just say no, but for some reason I think this is the boy for me and i wouldnt wanna ruin anything by saying no. What should I do?
say no, because obviously you don't want to have sex with him or you wouldn't be asking.
duh. =]
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I'm a virgin. I'm 15. Every time i talk to my boyfriend about sex, he wants me to be on top. I guess because he's really tall this is more comfortable for him. But for my first time, I think it would be a little weird to have to make all the moves, considering he's NOT a virgin. I'm afraid about being on top for my first time. I'm afraid that once I feel pain I'll tense up and pull him out of me....that would me a totall mood killer...I don't even know what my question is..I guess I'm just looking for comments or what not.
-Yes, I am ready for sex so telling me I must not be ready isn't going to be any help to me-
(I'll add adittional information later if anyone needs me to)
Tell him you would be more comfortable with him on top, taking into account that you are a virgin and this is your first time. You're actually supposed to have sex in the missionary position, ESPECIALLY your first time. It'll be more comfortable for you and for him, really.
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Hi! I'm a big fan of Inkheart and Artemis Fowl. What are some other good fantasy books I might enjoy? I don't like the kind where people or creatures have too weird freaky abilities. I prefer them to be a little more normal. Thanks for suggestions!
Twilight is one of my favorites =]
Can't wait for the sequel, NEW MOON!
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i really need help. like, from a pyschatrist. and i really don't know how to ask my parents.
but first i wanted to ask everyone on here a few questions.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN TO A SHRINK;
-- is it weird talking to them?
-- does it really help?
-- how did you ask your parents?
-- how does it work? like the visits?
thank you everyone that takes the time to answer.
I go to a councelor & a psychiatrist.
-At first it was a little strange. I'm much more comfortable talking to my counceolor though, because she seems like more of a person, while my psychiatrist is more like a doctor. Which is a little frightening. It's tought to get used to the idea of talking to a complete stranger, but if you pretend like you aren't talking to anyone but the wall, it helps. That's what I do.
-I think it does. I tell my parents all the time that they are wasting their money taking me, because I hate going. Which sometimes, I really do. But in the end, I always enjoy having the talks. I seriously feel 10 pounds lighter after leaving, because I feel like i've gotten such a load off of my chest. I also like the feeling of security. Just knowing that someone is watching over you in case things get out of hand it an amazing feeling. I think so anyways.
-It wasn't my choice to see either one. My parents made me see a councelor, because I was a cutter and they thought I needed serious help. My councelor thought I needed serious help also. She forwarded me to my psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with a depression/anxiety disorder and an anti social disorder of some kind. I'm now on medication for it and have been for 3 years. (actually they are wheaning me off of it right now)
-When I go, my mom checks me in at the reception desk just like if I was at a regular doctor, and then we sit in the waiting room for my appointment. We go in, and it's just like a casual talk. Seriously, it's not formal at all.
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My friends dont know me anymore. I've changed so much and I don't know what to do. I'm always the "good girl" that would never do anything bad or wrong. I've been labeled that for the past 2 years and I hate it. Everyone know's me as the "always happy, preppy, good girl". But I'm not like that anymore. I love doing crazy things that are shocking. I want a tattoo and my belly button pierced. I want to drink & try new things (haha not drugs though!) I wanna have fun.
See this all started happening when I became close to this one girl. Her name is Erica. She is a senoir and i'm a freshmen. She's really cool and laid back. She's one of my best friends. We hang out all weekend and talk almost everyday on the week days. She is the complete opposite of me though. I'm way preppy and always smile and laugh. She's dresses down and doesn't care about what she looks like. I guess she's a good influence in some way, because she made me learn not to care so much about what other people think (but i still do!!).
My whole life I always knew I was being someone I wasn't. I wasn't this always happy good girl barbie that I was labeled and been labeled. Towards the end of last school year and this school year, I got more into the "f*ck life and have fun" attitude. I wanted to do pot and drink. I wanted to always do something that was crazy and unexpected of me. I fell in love with the old rock classics (60s-70s)and if people hear me listening to that music... they're like "eww chelsey.. you're becoming a druggy?!". (since when did the music you listen to label you as a druggy or non-user?).
But ANYWAY... I've finally opened my eyes and notcied that erica is a bad influence in my life. She's the one who introduced me to all of this. Smoking, drinking, pot, music, & my attitude. I don't know if this is who I've always been and it was just covered up with hollister clothes and california hair or what, but i'm so confused now. I don't know how to say this, but I like this new person way better then the old. I'm so much more opened and dareing (?).
Now the hard part is, my friends refuse to believe this. If I even curse, there like "OMG! chels you cutie, thats mega bad... when did you start using those words!?!!". AHHH im like stfu. And then I think to myself, what if they knew i wanted to drink or try pot... they would like sign me up for therapy. I don't know what to do?!?! I want people to realize that I've changed, and accept that fact that people change, and wanna do different things. Whats your adivce? What should I do about my life? I don't even know where to begin with all my feelings. Thank-you for answering HONESTLY... I really respect your opinion.
One more thing... I kinda started seeing this kid this year and me and him really hit it off. He's mr. popular and stuff so when he first started talking to me I was soo excited! But now that were haning out more often we almost created like a relationship. A couple nights ago, I found out that he drinks and gets high often. When me and him went over to our one friends house (they were having a party). He took me back in their yard to the bon-fire. A couple of my best friends were down there so I started talking to them, but then they went up and i followed them half way and then went back to the bon-fire. When I came down they were smoking and getting high. Now it just wasn't the kid i liked... it was some of my other guy friends too. They offered it to me.. and I reacted quickly by taking the blunt and throwing it in the fire. (hahaha i know right). So now is it that my friends can smoke but i cant? and i get yelled at if i even curse? WTF?!
Please, I need advice soo badly! : ( Thank-you
People change. It's something everyone, including your friends are going to have to accept. You'll meet new people and find new interests. It's all a part of growing up and accepting life. I know what it's like to be labeled as the good girl. Because that's what i've always been labeled. I never get in trouble, i'm always happy and preppy and I never stop smiling. That's what people have come to expect from me over the years, and it gets old after a while. I have my belly button pierced. I didn't do it to be shocking or daring. Far from it actually. I did because it was a fashion statement. I thought it suited my style, not my personality. Please don't think that changing yourself on the outside is going to change who you are on the inside. It doesn't work that way. I noticed you said you want to drink and try new things. That's all fine and good, except you also said you didn't want to try drugs. But as I was reading the question, I noticed you said you DID want to try pot. Clarification would be well appreciated. Marijuana is not fun. Neither is drinking. If you want help, you have to first help yourself. I want you to do me a favor. There are 2 books that I feel would do you a world of good to read. Smashed [story of a drunken girlhood] by Koren Zailckas and Go Ask Alice. These are both wonderful books I feel you will enjoy reading and I think it will make you rethink wanting to drink and do drugs.
As for this Erica girl, I know completely where you are coming from. My problems all started when I met a particular girl. She turned my world upside down and I swear that girl made me do things I wouldn't dare do in a million years. I did bad things I don't feel like getting into. I thought these things defined me and made me cool. I was wrong, doing these things only made things worse in the end. The best advice I can give you is not to hang out with her. So many people warned me about her, but I didn't listen. She's such a sweet girl, and even though I will always love her, I should have stayed away from those things.
You are right about one thing. The music you listen to in NO WAY should influence whether you do drugs or not. That's just something that media has brainwashed us into thinking. Make sure you tell your friends that. It's ok to be open and daring, just don't take it to far. You can be spontaneous and still know how far is too far. Just always keep that in mind.
And if these so called friends are really your friends, they wouldn't be so hypocritical. But that's an entirely different topic. I'm sure you can work this one out on your own. If you need any further assistance or advice, feel free to contact me however you wish.
If you don't take any of my advice, take this:
All teenagers go through a rebellious stage, i've already went through mine and still from time to time I want to get out there, and do bad things. But I stay level-headed. You are a teenager and you are going to experiment with sex, drugs, drinking, and anything else you can think of that parents pass off as life stages. Just keep it under control.
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does anybody on this site cut themselves ? i need to talk to someone who i can relate to .. PLEASE!! i/m me at x3MOxL0V3x thank you so much
ICQ #: 177294435
EMAiL: choke0nlove@yahoo.com
i'm a recovering cutter. i can help you out, promise.
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15 f & bf is 18
After ditching school to go to my bf's house one day, my parents found out and my mom said to me "I hope you two aren't having sex, but if you are I at least want you to be on birth control". Her mom was all about "don't do it"..but, duh, people have sex eventually. My mom just wants me to be safe.
I haven't had sex yet, but I am ready for it. I'm comfortable with my boyfriend and we talk about sex and birth control and what we would do if I get pregnant.And since he has had sex before, he went and got tested for AIDS and well, the whole deal really.. - Me and my boyfriend see eachother once a week, if that, because his parents don't like me, and my dad doesn't like him.
My question is this: If we only see eachother once a week, will I still have to take birthcontrol all week long? And if so, why?
Sounds like you've taken all the precautionaries needed. So I don't see anything wrong with you two having sex personally. But this is completely up to you. If you do decide to take birth control, you will need to take it all week long. For 3 main reasons.
1) the pill doesn't works correctly or effectively if it's not taken every day and preferably at the same time. why? i couldn't really give you an accurate response. but if you decide to get put on birth control and ask this question, they will give you a 100% accurate answer. so i suggest doing this. also, they should give you a pamplet about the pill which should answer this question also if you still have any questions.
2) if you take the pill every day at the same time of day, it will become routine for you. meaning it will be much easier to remember and a lot harder to forget. you may think it's very hard to forget such an important thing, but trust me. it's easier than you think.
3) your period will always be on time and it'll be lighter, you should cramp less and it will also be shorter. however this deal only works if you routinely take the pill everyday. mainly because your body will only adjust to this change if the pill is taken on time.
any other questions, just ask =]
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OK.im a 14 year old female, I have herd that after you have sex you bleed. well, how long do you bleed? and if you do start bleeding do you just ignore it and keep going or stop? if you do it with out a condom will i get pregant? I am sorry i don't know this stuff... my mom is strict and my boyfriend is probably going to be ready soon. I am right now but im not so sure about it.
Whoa, slow down. You don't know anything about sex so how can you be ready? I was fourteen when I lost my virginity, but luckily for me I could spell, know how to use correct grammar, and most importantly I knew the consequenceses of sex. Which apparentely, you don't. Some people do bleed after sex and others don't. If you are well lubricated and relaxed you shouldn't bleed. You might be a little sore, but hopefully the pain shouldn't be to serious. You usually only bleed for a few seconds and others who ask this question misinterpret the concept ALL THE TIME. You don't actually bleed like you are on your period. If you do, then somthing is deffinately not right. If you do bleed, which some small, very tight and usually nervous girls do, then it should only be a few drops of blood. 2 or 3 at most. Nothing like a period at all. You most likely won't notice the blood until after you are finished, in which case you should probably excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. If you have sex without a condom, you'll be lucky not to get pregnant. It's not safe at all, and if you are going to have sex, i'm begging you to use a condom. Yes, begging. There are to many pregnant teenagers in the world, and if you use a condom, you could be one less. So if you have sex, just use one. It's not that big of a deal, and it can make a HUGE difference. Ok? Something about your question bothered me. You said, "I am ready now but im not so sure about it." If you are ready you shouldn't be 'not so sure'. You should be absolutely positive that this is what you want to do. So before you decide to engage in such a serious act, take caution and be careful. Think about what a big step you are taking.
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I am a 15 year old girl in the 10th grade. i have been under alot of stress. I am pregnant, My parents are getting a divorce, My mom and i are moving out into an apartment, My boyfriend and i have started to argue you alot. Althoug it got better for a couple weeks until this weekend. Also i lost alot of friends because i was pregnant. i had to put up with alot of people saying rude things. or that i better not walk the streets or ill get shot etc. i started cutting to decrease the stress and let my problems just be released i find that it helps but i need to stop. please help me! tell me how to stop.
I'm fifteen, and i'm recovering from self-injury. It is NOT something you want to get involved with. It's just as bad as drugs, smoking, or any other addiction you can think of.
I understand the stress you are under. You are 15 and you are pregnant, that has to be hard. And then on top of that, you and the father of your baby are fighting, you parents are getting divorced, and people are telling you stupid shit about walking the streets. Cutting is a release from all of these things. But find other things to do to release this stress. Cutting is not smart, it's stupid! I know, because i've been there. I cutted for 3 years! And it was the worst three years of my life now that I look back on it. I was addicted, and if you don't stop now, you will be too. If you won't stop for me, or for yourself, do it for YOUR BABY! Please. That baby is not going to want to grow up with you harming yourself like that. You're it's mother, whether you like it or not you have a responsibility to care for this baby. And in order to do that, you have to take care of yourself also.
And these friends of yours that you've lost, obviously weren't your friends if they left you when you needed them most. And as for this getting shot in the streets, that's bullshit! I live in a small town and attend a school of a little over 100 students. At least 25 of these girls are pregant. Some of which are already in there second pregnancy. This isn't good, but it's the truth. None of them have been shot, and you won't be either [knock on wood] Don't stress over this stuff.
Maybe you should consider seeing a councelor. I'm not telling this to you because you are a steriotypical, 15 year old with divorced parents, pregnant cutter. I'm telling you this because you have a lot of stress built up inside of you, and having someone neutral to talk to may help you release some of this stress. I started seeing a concelor about a year ago twice a week. I'm now down to once a month. I love having our talks because it helps me release some of the built up stress within me. The best thing is no therapist will judge you, or critizize you. The just listen, and it's the best feeling in the world. Try it out.
You sound like a wonderful person, if you need to talk to me anymore, leave me one in my inbox. If you don't want to talk about it on advicenators, email me. My email is on my column. Please don't hesitate to do this, ok?
Good Luck.
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