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I love my boyfriend. We've been together for 2 years, but he's my first boyfriend.
He wants to marry me eventually. He's positive about it. He tells me all the time. And I love him so much and he's my best friend...
But I feel like... we're not right for the long run. I feel like we're perfect for each other at this point in our lives though.
But I know I'd never be sure about marriage with him since I've never dated anyone else.
I'm happy, but I feel like I'm still not sure what I want in a relationship because I haven't had experience with other guys...
But, is it okay to date someone you don't want to marry as long as you're both happy at the time?
Am I being unfair by staying in the relationship when he wants marriage? Is it okay to date someone you love but don't think you'll marry?
We're both happy and we both love each other... but looking to the future... I feel like he's not the one. Though I always want him to be my best friend.
My first boyfriend was "THE ONE" ... or so I thought. For three years. I dated him and I did love him. It was new and exciting and we had no idea what we were doing. And I really loved it and my time with him. But before long he started talking about how we would get married and start a family. I had this feeling. Not of joy or hopefulness but of just uncertainty.
I knew that it wasn't what I should be feeling whenever the guy you love is talking about marrying you. You SHOULD feel bliss and pure happiness. Well I ignored my gut feeling for the whole three years we dated. By the end of our relationship I realized that in my heart I didn't love him the way he loved me. YES I did love him, I cared for him, he was my best friend. But I didn't have plans to be with him forever and I couldn't continue acting like I did. I dated him for 9 months knowing that he wasn't "the one". I mean that was my first relationship I didn't know if that's how everything was supposed to "feel". When you kiss someone you're supposed to have that "feeling" but I'd only ever kissed him. So I would always wonder.
Finally after 9 months I got up the courage to tell him that we were over. It devastated him, and maybe me a little too.
It was hard for a month or two. Breakups always are. But then I moved on. Started dating a new boy from my church. Let me tell you. The two relationships and guys are worlds apart in difference! I hadn't truly kissed till I kissed the church boy.
So long story short. You're not doing anything wrong. Dating is what people do. However when you have different ideals about where the relationship is going things get rocky. Eventually you will either tell him the truth about your feelings (which might lead to a breakup or not. I'm not saying that he isn't the one. I just think everyone should experience other relationships) OR you will lie to him and make him believe you feel just like he does. I hope that you don't stay in the relationship though because he is safe and he loves you. You need to know for a fact that you love him too. Sometimes dating others helps.
If you continue with that gut feeling that you're not meant to be together forever I think you should tell him. I wish I had broke up with my ex sooner whenever I felt like you did. It's my biggest regret for last year.
Good Luck.
Remember there are no rules in love and life. Just follow your heart.
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Thank you!
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