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First off that's my special man friend with me way back from high school, and been dating now for almost four years now. Yeah he's pretty spectacular, and I love him to pieces, and that's all I have to say about that. I'm a full time college student and working on my gen ed, but I would like to get my bachelor's in gerontology and eventually get my nursing license. In fact I work at a nursing home now as a CNA and I love it so much. Anyways ask questions if you want. I'll try to help you out anyway I can. I love helping people after all. :)
advice
25/F. I have only had sex once, when I was 19, and only for literally a few minutes. What could have gone wrong, did go wrong: the condom broke, the guy (same age) freaked out and panicked, told me to leave his apartment ( i know, total asshole), and I took plan B two days later. I got tested for STD's, and got a pregnancy test. The jerk did not even call me until a month later, only to ask if I had gotten my period. Seriously. Total prick.
To be clear, I was very naive at that point. I did not stick up for myself in the least, and did something I was not at all comfortable doing. I didn't even date this guy, and already knew he had a girlfriend. These are things I would NEVER, EVER even think of doing now, all these years later, but again, I was very naive and impressionable at that point in my life. I have grown, by a lot.
Now, all these years later, I am concerned about a couple of issues. First, I haven't ever had a real boyfriend. It is getting to a point for me where i should be meeting someone- but I am absolutely unwilling to just settle. I am just concerned because my previous encounters with guys have been meaningless-- i haven't even dated anyone in over two years. Second, the experience I had when I was 19 has made me wonder how I will react when I do have sex again. I have grown and matured by so much since then; I feel like a different person, in a way. But still, I think about how the situation was then, and how awkward I felt...how painful it was, how I didn't know what I was doing, etc. And it makes me wonder how I will, perhaps even unconsciously feel, when I have sex with someone who really means something to me. So I feel like I have built some sort of a wall. If a guy were to approach me, and we hit it off, I seriously don't know how a relationship would progress, how i would bring up that I'd only had sex once, and it was terrible, how I hadn't dated in a long time....so, so many issues.
Any thoughts and/or advice? If anyone has been in similar sorts of situations as me, it would be very helpful. Thanks
Yeah you had a rough past, but that was six years ago, time to move on. I hate to sound so rude, but really I'm just trying to help. For what it's worth every girl deals with a jerk for the most part; unless your Mother Teresa or something who was a nun. If you date and someone asks you about your past, tell them it's the past and you want to leave it there. You don't have to tell anybody anything you don't want to. If you do decide to do so though, get to know the person really well. However, if you stick to not wanting to tell him, do not ask him about his past. That's not really fair to ask of his if he doesn't know yours. You'll be fine chicka.
xoxo,
dottie4
(Rating: 4) Thank you for your insight-I agree with the whole "past" thing..everyone has a past, and it's really up to me when or if I want to delve into it.