Hello, my name is Sam. There's a lot that I can say about myself, but if you'd like that then you could always message me and we can have a nice cup of tea together :D
I am not very old, so I might not have too much life experience, but I do like to help people. I know that life often throws unexpected blows at people, but I am so extremely optimistic. Hopefully some of my optimism will rub off on the people to whom I am giving advice. I am happy to help with anything! :)
Gender: Female
Location: California
Age: 17
Member Since: February 24, 2007
Answers: 477
Last Update: October 17, 2011
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Hi,
I am a 17f. Theres this guy I met and have known for several months. He is 18 and he is the absolute sweetest guy ever, which is why I like him. We have hung out a few nights and cuddled a little. The problem is, I know he has another girl that he feels strongly for. He told me about her and hes told me he loves me, but its not the same love that he has for this other girl. Then he tells me later that he just loves me. He also said he wants to kiss me to see if theres 'a spark', I didnt think that would be right so I didnt let him. I dont want to get closer to him, expecially knowing he has another girl. Everyone thinks we are dating and I keep telling them NO WE ARE NOT. I think I really like him, Im just unsure. I think hes unsure as well. He makes me feel like I have never felt before, but I can't help but think that he will end up ditching me or I might find someone better.. you know? I told him we should just be friends..deep inside I want it to be more;I am sure he does too but..yeah. I have never dated before, cuz all the other guys I know are losers and just want sex. I want it to be right. I am not the kind of girl that dates just anybody for the hell of it. Please tell me what you think, Just be friends or.. ? (link)
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Hey.
I absolutely understand where you are coming from. So far I'd say that you have done very good in keeping your distance and not wanting to get too involved.
I've been in this situation and all I can tell you is that you have to either let him go, or deicide if you are willing to live with the knowledge that no matter how much time and energy you are devoting to him, he is only putting half an effort into you. Is that the kind of relationship you want?
I'm not going to assume that this guy is a jerk or a player because maybe he is genuinely confused about who he would rather be with. I would say that you need to be very straightforward with him and tell him how you feel. Tell him how you feel about him and tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him loving you both and seeing you both at the same time. Tell him that if he can't be without her, then he can't be with you.
I don't know if you've ever seen the movie The Notebook, but situations like this always remind me of that movie.
I think that only you can decide if this is worth it or not. Talk to him and if what he says isn't what you want to hear, then let him go or just be friends. I know that him being a sweet guy makes it harder for you to let him slip away, but if you know that you deserve better, then you will have the strength to let him go so that you can one day find the right person for you. I wish you the best of luck.
Please take care and know that you deserve only the best.
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Rating: 5
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Yes, I know I deserve the best. Thanks :)
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