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Help me make sense of this!!!! Two years ago I told my friend I had feelings for her that went deeper than friendship. (We are both females) She said she was SHOCKED when I told her. Although I don't think she was shocked at all. Keep in mind we live 1300 miles apart and she is in an unhappy marriage and has been for about 8 years, she has been married for 37 years and got married to get out of the house and away from her step-dad. (nothing sexual there, he was just mean). She is 55 years old and I am 48. Anyway at that time 2 years ago she denied feeling the same way towards me. We email often and just last week she flew up here to spend the week with me on vacation, left her husband home. During our time together that week she told me she had fallen out of love with her husband some time ago and she wished she would win the lottery so she could buy a summer home in the town I live so we could be closer. She also has told me if she was younger she would leave his hind-end in a heartbeat. We drank some wine and I told her I don't let myself get to tipsy anymore because I am a big flirt, but she kept saying to me through the week, hey let's get shit-faced, let's get a matching tattoo to commerate our vacation together. Now why would she want me to get shit-faced when I told her I get flirty?? And why would she want us to get matching tattoo's? She also touched me alot, putting her hand on my knee during a time when we had someone take our picture together, grabbing my arm etc. and I caught her looking at my legs and eyeing me up. She told me she didn't want to go back home and that we should have taken 2 weeks of vacation instead of one but if we did take 2 weeks vacation she wouldn't go back home. She called me a few days after she got home and back to work, she said she told her coworkers she had to pee and then called me while she was in the bathroom. She mentioned again we should have taken two weeks of vacation and she missed me alot and couldn't wait to see me again and get together again. What I don't understand is first, why would she spend a week with me, tell me how unhappy she is in her marriage, touch me alot and sometimes even in a baby tone of voice tell me how much she was going to miss me if she KNOWS how I feel about her??? She knows my feelings are stronger than friendship so WHY this behavior. Am I over reacting to her actions or is she into me but can't or won't admit it??? Sometimes I think she likes the fact that I am in love with her and she wants me to be. Where do I go from here? I do believe she is in love with me. Having said that, the whole marriage thing she is involved in makes it impossible for her to admit her feelings to herself much less me. I wonder and please tell me what you think!!! If I make myself less available to her and let her know I am going out and having fun with other friends of mine if it will push her into revealing her true feelings for me. One way or another I need to know and I know she won't tell me even if I ask her straight out. I wonder if maybe she starts to feel like she is losing me if she will step it up so to speak and tell me how she really feels.
Please help!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!
Kelsi
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It sounds like she might have feelings for you, She very well might of fallen out of love with her husband. It could also be that she knows how you feel towards her so she is looking to seek comfort to fulfill her unhappiness and she knows how you feel about her so she is using it too her advantage. (Which exsplains why she would want to get drunk) I am not saying this is the case here but it could be, You may want to sit down and talk to her again and exspress your concerns. If she is married but wants to be in a relationship with you the best thing for her would to file a divorce as it would be the right thing to do. Yes, people can have affairs but nobody can legally be together if one is still married. If you and her decide to have a relationship together you would need to work out a living arrangement at 1300 miles apart it should be a serious thing to think about. Your friend also stated that she had fallen out of love with her husband one thing you want is valid proof if you two were to get together. It could be a whole nother story that she just isn't being truthful about therefore you might want to have a conversation with her once again and get more information on it as you will not seek happiness out of a bunch of lies.
Feel free to messege me if you need more advice.
BahaiMa22
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Rating: 5
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Thank you, you made some good points!!
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