Hello, my name is Sam. There's a lot that I can say about myself, but if you'd like that then you could always message me and we can have a nice cup of tea together :D
I am not very old, so I might not have too much life experience, but I do like to help people. I know that life often throws unexpected blows at people, but I am so extremely optimistic. Hopefully some of my optimism will rub off on the people to whom I am giving advice. I am happy to help with anything! :)
Gender: Female
Location: California
Age: 17
Member Since: February 24, 2007
Answers: 477
Last Update: October 17, 2011
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this will be long, but i will return the favor to anyone who is generous enough to read(:
alright lets get the facts straight:
i just turned 19, the guy i like his name is joe, just turned 18. me and joe have been friends for about 6 years now. joe has been dating his girlfriend for 3 straight years.
the thing is, im IN love with joe. i've been in love with him but he loves his girlfriend. i cant get over him, we use to be best friends. we use to hangout ALL THE TIME, before his girlfriend came along.
i can't keep joe off my mind, seriously he's on my mind 24/7 im not kidding, i even dream about him (weird...) even when i was on vacation i thought about him. when im with my friends i think about him. when i'm at work, i think about him. when i'm with another guy, i think about him more. no matter what i'm doing or where i am, i think about him.
the HORRIBLE thing is, i can't get away from the situation. one of my best friends, is my cousin and guess what? joe is my cousins NEXT DOOR neighbor so everytime i'm at my cousins i get to see joe's girlfriends car over there and it kills every single time.
i'm SO vulnerable when i'm with joe. when we hangout alone, which is like hmm, once every FOUR months he always tries getting with me. i've never done anything with him but god i want to so bad. even though its so wrong because he has a girlfriend ive never been so comfortable with any other guy.
i tell joe alot, he's always there for me. when i cry, he holds me and tells me everythings going to be okay. when i laugh, he smiles. when i look sad he always knows and asks "whats wrong, cheer up" and even when i say "nothing's wrong..." he always knows there is.
i'm not happy unless i'm with joe. i see him probably once a month because hes with his girlfriend 24/7. she sleeps over at his house, he's been to her cabin, she's been on trips with his family and that hurts soooo bad. his brothers and sisters adore me, everytime i see them they scream my name and come give me a hug.
i've never told him i've had feelings for him but i know he knows by how i talk to him, how i flirt with him. but what good is it doing? i'm obviously not good enough for him to break up with his girlfriend. and i dont want things to be awkward between us.
i love how so many girls think hes hot, but no matter how many girls throw themselves at him he will never act different around me. his current girlfriend, has been his only girlfriend. the things he does sexual, hes only done with one girl, and thats his girlfriend.
i rememeber about two years ago this guy i was interested in broke my heart and all i could say is "i need joe, i need to talk to him" because he truly makes me happy.
i honestly don't know what to do. my friends say, move on. you deserve better than him. but its not that easy! i've tried, i cant just let someone whose been in my life for six years just go away like that.
we barely text anymore because of his girlfriend. his girlfriend is the ONLY person who makes me cry because i know that she has him, and hes the only thing i want.
any suggestions? i'm so lost. i seriously realized i love this boy. my heart is broken. it breaks everyday when i wake up and realize he's still with her. i've tried meeting new guys, it doesnt work.
anything will help!
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Hey.
I'm sorry about all of this. It does sounds horrible. But it's okay, you'll be able to get over him with time, I promise.
I've heard people say that when you want to get over a person you have to stay away from them, especially if it's someone like your best friend. I kind of agree with this because the more you see him, the more those feelings are there and the more you are reminded that you aren't with him.
I think you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel even if he already knows. Tell him that you really like him or if you want you can tell him that you are in love with him. And let him know that you are trying to get over him because you know that he has a girlfriend that he is happy with.
I'm glad that you haven't involved yourself with him in any way to make him cheat on his girlfriend. It's very tough to do what you've done because you obviously would love to, but you know that it would be wrong. Just continue to remember that if you ever were to involve yourself with him it would hurt even more to see him with his girlfriend after that.
It's probably better that the two of you don't see eachother very often. After you explain to him that you like him, maybe it will make you feel at least a little better. After that I seriously suggest that you do anything to distract you from him. You probably don't want to date anyone else right now and that's okay. You shouldn't date anyone until you feel you are ready to.
I am positive that you will be able to move on. I would recommend that you watch the movie (500) days of summer. It's a movie that just came out in theaters and it reminds me of your situation in a way. I think it would really help you deal with this knowing that you have someone to relate to. There will eventually come a day when you wake up and there are no thoughts of Joe (in a more than friendly way) in your head. I remember feeling exactly as you do now a few years back but eventually I think my body and my heart just got tired of suffering. I remember that when I saw the guy that I had been in love with, I felt no desire to be his girlfriend as I once had. I couldn't believe it because I thought that I my heart would break all over again when I saw him but it didn't. I was okay. And I was happy to see him of course because we were still best friends but my heart had finally accepted the situation and moved on. I know that this will end for you too. Just keep trying your best and try your very best to be happy. I wish you the best of luck. Take care of yourself.
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