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hello. 15 f and also from rhodeisland. i find this to be the most boring state, maybe you think the same or have grown to like it.
After i typed this i realized how long it was..and i want to say im sorry its so long. Please bare with me.. lol
Anyway I wanted an older more mature perspective on dating. I like this guy and he likes me. But when he tells me he likes me its almost unbelievable because i think he just wants to be involved for the action. He is more experience than me like I havnt kissed a guy and hes not even a virgin. He is kind of known to have that sort of player thing and not want to be with a girl for much more than sexual reasons. I met him through a mutual friend because he had told our friend that he thought I was cute and for him to talk to me for him. Turns out I had already told our friend that I thought he was cute. so we both had a mutual attraction from the beginning. Then i moved my seat in class to talk to him and he was really quiet at first and shy acting. Now after a few months its like we've known eachother forever. Hes an asshole to be honest and not just to me. He says hes kidding around and its obvious but hes still an ass. Apart of me just cant help but like him though. I find it strange that he says he likes me and attempted to ask me out but acts like he doesnt or is just flirting in the weirdest ways. I may come off as hard to get or idk.. I just know that before he would try to caress my leg and id just sit there like it didnt phase me or one time i lightly smacked his hand. Hes asked me out on dates before and i didnt necesarily say yes or say no so I guess I kind of left him hanging. Or i'll be sarcastic like ok lets go to the movies and you can go see that movie while i see this one. when he indirectly asked me out I said that i would say no. I dont feel like we've gotten close enough for me to go out with him and him be my first boyfriend. Also I dont think id be able to date him without me eventually losing my virginity. At first i wasnt okay with this guy not being a virgin but ive accepted it now especially since a lot of people in high school seem to not be now. This guy also smokes weed, when we got to talking more on a personal level I told him that I would like him if he didnt smoke and he said he would quit. According to him he hasnt smoked since then which is about a little over a month now. I dont smoke and I havnt tried it. I dont mind being friends with people who smoke but I dont think id want to date someone who did. He also sells which i think im okay with that but i figure if he sells it than what is going to stop him from smoking it. My best friend is totally against us going out. She says she will get whatever dirt on him she can to tell me. Shes told me she just doesnt want me to get hurt and ive said thank you but now im tired of hearing how much he isnt for me and all that.. just let me make my own decisions and if i get hurt and have regrets then oh well because its apart of life. She just keeps saying if you get hurt in the end im going to feel like it was all my fault and feel even worse than you because i didnt do more to stop it. Its gotten to the point where she is just so annoying and if she would be mad that we were going out id say that is her problem and if she doesnt want to be friends that is fine. But i dont want it to seem like im picking him over her. Some of my other friends have just told me to just watch out for him but if i really like him to go for it. My other best friend is like hey you should go out with him, you like him he likes you.. just do it. So its like I have so many opinions coming at me at once. The mutual friend of me n this guy doesnt even like him anymore. This guy bugs our mutual friend alot , like hes nice at times and other times just mean in an annoying way. Our mutual friend told me recently, I dont even know why you like him. I feel like its his fault he even got me involved with this guy. Hes the one who talked all good about him and was like yeah come with us and get to know him. Now apart of me wishes I never did. Me and this guy were talking and i told him how i never dated anybody because its hard for me to trust people and he asked if i trusted him, which i was honest and i said no. Then he wanted to know why not and how he could earn my trust. I really have no idea how he could earn my trust.. i think its just a thing that comes with the connection you have with a person and a certain amount of time. He said maybe he could earn trust by taking me to our school dance, i said i didnt want to go to that dance, because no dress yet and how soon it was. He thought that was a lame excuse and I said no its not but if i did go id feel bad saying yes to you when i was asked by other people. Then he was like oh who asked you and this reminds me of how he can act kind of overprotective and jealous , which is jealousy is the number one thing i hate. I was on the phone one time and texting him and it was about 3am and he was lik Oh who are you on the phone with? im like my friend. and hes like oh is it a guy? who is it? and he really wanted to know who this guy i was talking to was. Or hes done other things like that.
I have more to say but i cant think of more right now.. other things will come along the way. I just wanted to introduce you to the whole thing first. I dont have a direct question, its more like what is your opinion on everything and if you have any questions to ask me about the situation than ill answer and so on.. (link)
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Okay here it goes...
Forgive me if I am too straight foward, From what you typed it sounds like he might just be trying to get you for some action. I can almost promise you that if you do decide to date him he might as well try and get you do have sex with him. I do not know this kid but watch out for the "players" as from exsperience they sometimes are the one to spread the word that you are easy to get. If he smokes weed and sells then you are probably better off just staying away from him as you probably already know he is heading for some serious trouble. Moving on to the "sex" no guy can make you have sex with them, and don't ever let a guy bribe you or talk you into it if that isn't your wish. It is perfectly okay to be a virgin and don't let anyone eles tell you otherwise. It sounds like you are much better off without this guy, he sounds like a punk who is just looking for a booty call. It is okay to be friends but don't let him pull you into his own trap. If you do not trust him then you must have a good reason for it and you just answered your own question. It takes time to gain someones trust, You can't just gain it overnight.
If you need anything eles don't be afraid to ask! Also, If you need to talk more in private feel free to ask me for my email or Yahoo IM. (Da_2nd_Generation@yahoo.com) Is no longer my current email.
Your Friend
BahaiMa22
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Rating: 5
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definitely not too straight forward. i like people to be very honest. I agree with everything you said. But you know how sometimes your head is telling you one thing and is completely right and your heart is interfering. thats soo annoying. lol and he is a punk!! lol thanks a bunch bahima. ill probly ask u something else so i saved ya. thanks again. =]
im Nicki btw.
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