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Q: I heard this story a while ago and I still can't quite understand it. I'll call the people involved Rick and Jenna. So, the two of them dated for a couple of months, but soon Jenna got pregnant. She was 19 at the time. She wanted to have an abortion (I don't know her, so I don't know why - I can just guess that she had her reasons.) However, Rick was strongly opposed to it - he said that if she didn't want to keep the baby, she should give her/him up for adoption. She still wanted to have the abortion, so Rick broke up with her.

What confuses me here is that Rick is pro-choice and even feminist! He tells things like 'women should have control over their bodies', or 'if men got pregnant abortion would be a sacrament'. I would have thought that he changed his beliefs, but he still resents his ex-girlfriend and blames her that she 'probably didn't want to get fat'. What's the deal here?! (Btw I don't think he was looking forward to fatherhood, he suggested adoption if Jenna didn't want to be a mother, but he didn't suggest she have the baby and then leave it with him, for example)
It is easier to be for or against anything when one has no personal experience with it. This could be about abortion, war, homosexuality, drug use, anything really that divides people, most of whom have limited knowledge or experience with what they have judged good or bad for humanity as individuals or as society as a whole. We are barely equiped as humans to make personal choices that affect mostly ourselves, let alone try to make the inappropriate leaps we do everyday in assuming judgement over others and their personal decisions. "Rick" is by no means out of the ordinary in his reaction. He had no emotional attachment to other women's fetuses. Maybe he had some sense of responsibility or feeling for the one he helped create in his girlfriend's body. This would certainly be likely, but it is also possible that through this experience he realized that his male opinion on abortion has no importance in a woman's right over her own body and that he was entirely powerless and unneeded in making her decision. Whether or not the male wants the woman to "keep the baby," the male ego most always wants to have at least some part in that decision.

You're so right. I have a bisexual friend whose father is a liberal, all for gay rights and everything, but he was never able to forgive his son for being bi and accept it as something normal.

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BitsandPieces
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


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http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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