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Hiya, my names Claire. I'm 16 and I live in England. I live with my dad, my older brother and my younger sister. I have a pretty complicated family situation, so although yours may not be the same, I can probably replate to something of the confusion and hurt people with broken families feel.I'm a Christian, and I guess that is reflected in most of my responses to questions. Compared to some people, I've had a pretty good 16 years of life so far, not huge amounts to complain about. But there have been times when I've really needed to rely on God to pull me through and he's never EVER failed me. I trust his promises completely, and I depend on Christ with all my heart
advice
My mother is an alcholic. She wont admit this, but she drinks 3-4 times a week and gets wasted. How can I confront her about this? My stepdad agrees with me but will not do anything to stop her. What can I do?
Hey, I know exactly how you feel (having experienced the same thing.)
No-one can stop her but herself. It hurts so much, but you can't make her stop. Your step ddad can't make her stop. Only she can.
Before she stops, she needs to recognise that she has a problem. It might be that she already knows it in her heart, but won't admit it to herself. Alcoholism is an illness, and part of the illness means that you lie to yourself so much about the addiction that you believe you don't have a problem. With my mum, she was drinking loads every day, but still wouldn't accept it.
So if you want to help her, you can try helping her to realise that she has a problem.
This is going to take a lot of patience on your part, because its the most frustrating thing.
I'd suggest that you start writing things down. Keep a sort of diary of when she drinks, and whatever details you know, such as what time of day it was, and how much she drank. Just keep writing things down.
Also, a common sign of an alcoholic is that they hide bottles around the house. Subtley, have a look for these. Try places like bathroom cupboards, under cushions on the couch, anywhere that you might want to hide something. If you can expose hidden alcohol, and just leave it out where she'll she it with a note that says "Mum, I found this today." She'll know you found it, and feel guilty, That helps her to recognise.
With the diary, when you have enough information to show that she has a problem, confront her with it. You might want to ask your step dad to help, but that depends on how he feels about the situation and your relationship with him. You might want him onside, or that might be impossible. Personally, I have a fear of confrontation with my mums drinking. Well, I used to, I've had to get used to it by now. But if you can't stand the thought of actually taking it to her and saying, "mum, you have a problem, look at this." Then you could leave it on her bed or something with a note. This is why I would do.
If you want to know any more about how I handled situations like this, or any more advice, or just to talk to someone who knows what you're going through, leave a message in my inbox and we can talk.
Take care, good luck xxxx
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much for the good advice.