Q: warning --this is extremely long =\
ok well im 14/f in 8th grade.
ok so the summer before 7th grade like changed everything. theres this boy, chris that i never really talked to until that summer. i dont kno how it started but one day we just started talking online and he told me how he used to like me and everything. after that we just kept talking throughout the whole summer, and that's when i started to like him.
we continued to talk online, but we never actually hung out. then one day, i told him i liked him. he said he liked me too but i kinda just shrugged it off and we didn't go out or anything.
so then 7th grade started. we hardly talked for the first couple months. then i remember in october, there was a halloween dance, and my one friend, who was really good friends with him at the time, was like oh you guys should dance together.. we didn't. i was stupid and just like stood there. i'm also REALLY REALLY shy, so talking to him online for me was easy, but to his face, i got like speechless. i know that after a while though, i'd become more outgoing around him. but that never happened..
so during november, he asked me out again. except it was online and through my friend. i, for the second time, was stupid, and said no. i regret it to this day. like the time before that, he didnt actually ask me out. but this time, he was, and it was soo weird for me cause he would've been my first boyfriend, so i just like freaked out and said no. i regret it soo much. i just wonder how things would've been =[
anyway, i think after that, he had this thing with like kicking me in the hall. lol not like to hurt me.. but yeah soo that was like our thing for a week or two, but then one day i went over to him to kick him and he was like "im not kicking you anymore" i dont know what exactly he meant by that. i dunno if he meant this is stupid, i dont want to get in trouble [cause one time a teacher yelled at us lol] or that he didnt like me anymore. but i duno
after that we continued to talk online still. but it was becoming more me iming him first and he didnt talk as much, it was usually me talking the most .
the rest of 7th grade was just a blur. towards the end he went out with different girls, and rarely talked to me. i still imed him online, but he acted like he didnt care.
i know this sounds weird, but i became kinda like stalkerish online. i like imed him everyday. i regret it alott .i guess i was just desperate for him to like me or something.
the summer was like that too..so then 8th grade started and i dunno what happened. we rarely talk except if he asks to borrow a pen or something. he's only in one of my classes. one time in like september i kinda just like let out my feelings when i was iming him. he told me that im shy, which i know i am..i think thats why he doesnt like me.. he liked me in 6th grade because he didnt know me, and now he thinks he does, but he doesnt b/c im not always shy.
anyway, i havent spoken to him online since september or october. i talk to him in school rarely, but its not even talking its like, him asking me for a pencil and me being like "here" ughh. i just wish things were back to the way they used to be. like the day before 7th grade he was like i cant wait to go to school tomorrow cause ill see you..=[ i miss that.
now we never talk. AND he has a girlfriend..they were going out since october but broke up in february like, twice, but not they're back together. i doubt it will last..
i mean like sometimes i'll catch him looking at me. i duno. i still like him so muchh. he probably doesnt even remember or care, about what happened between us. i just wish he would realize what it means to me. i dunno wut to do. how should i talk to him? i want us to atleast talk more again. i know i should get over him but ive tried and i cant. should i say something to him in class, and what should i say? should i try iming him again? or would that be weird since i havent imed him since september? im desperateee=[ thank you so much
