about

Hi, I'm Kristin..

I'm sixteen
I love to read the directions on everything.. Shampoo, cake, you name it..
I'm a pretty laid back person, in general.
I don't like annoying people, or things, but then again-- who does?
It really bothers me when people walk slow.
I'm really into photography and my camera is my pride and joy.
It's about the only thing I'm known to take care of in my life.
I'm on drumline.
Austin and Tarra are my Best friends
I'm in band, which goes along with the drumline.
i love just standing in the rain.
I'm easy to get to know.
Easy to lose my trust
Hard to get it back.
Obbessive people really aggrivate me

advice

OK...

My friend has been seeing her boyfriend for just over a month now. For two weeks they didn't even hold hands, they were so shy, but all of a sudden they kissed in the cinema and suddenly they are 'so in love' and on the same day as they kissed, they went to third base.

Last week, they had sex (in the WOODS!) and my friend is pretty sure she is pregnant. However, she is sayign she is 'bored' of her boyfriend and wants to 'move on'. I'm sorry but this is so stupid!! You don't sleep with someone you're 'bored' of and never really liked in the first place!!

She also wants an abortion.

First of all, I am angry at her for the whole 'oh I'm bored with you let's shag!' thing. I am also REALLY angry with her about the abortion because I am really against abortion in about 90% of cases, this one included. She wants to kill her own baby because she thinks she'll get 'bored' with it too, and because she made a mistake. She is 'making up' for that mistake with murder.

Now, I'm her friend and I am SUPPOSED to stand by her whatever, but this puts me in a HUGE dilemma because I do not agree with what she's done and what she is planning to do (split up with her boyfriend, have an abortion, not ever tell him she got pregnant). I'm really really angry at her right now and I can't talk to her, but I know she really needs my support at a time like this. How can I push my anger aside, how can I ignore my own stance on abortion and help her?

I need to stand by her...she needs all the love and support she can get, even though she doesn't deserve it. I was very tempted to slap her and run off when I found out but I realised that it's not my place to forgive or condone or accept or hate what she is doing, just to be there for her.

Please help...how can I get over my anger and resentment at what she is doing and be there for her? And don't just say 'talk to her' - if you have to, help me out on what to say!

Thanks for any help and sorry for the length.

Try and not think about yourself in this situation. Think about what she is going through and how hard it might be for her too. I still think maybe you should tell her your opinion too, because as a friend she should listen. If you're willing to push all your thoughts and needs aside for her the least she could do is listen? What's the harm in telling her you don't agree with the abortion. Maybe suggest adoption, I still don't agree with adoption, but atleast the baby would find a loving and caring home. You said it isn't your place to accept or forgive what she is doing, but it is your place as a friend to suggest.

As for talking to her about this. Like you said, just be there for her. Ask her how she's doing periodically. Ask if there's anything you can do. There's not much YOU can do right about now because it looks like she's confident in her decision, has made her mind up and is happy with it. All you can do as a friend is support her with everything she does. Sometimes it might go against your morals, but if suggesting didn't work then there's not much you can do but support.

Good luck and you seem like such an amazing friend by trying to push all your needs aside just for your friend.

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(Rating: 5) Thank you, that really helped :)
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