So, like, I'm this guy. And like, I do stuff...
Chemist, musician, artist, programmer, coach, husband, dad, uncle, etc.
So yeah.
Advice-wise? There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Website: Not My Site!
E-mail: sporkopolis2001@yahoo.com
Gender: Male
Occupation: Chemist
Age: 32
Member Since: October 16, 2003
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I was referred to you by Southern Chickety, with this question:I just finished crying, letting it all out. All because of my parents. I'm making 14 very soon now, but when I was 12, I broke my virginity with this guy, and my parents told him not to call at all and not to come over. I admit, he was a bad influence, and he didn't care about me. But I learned so much from that. After that happened, I have been through numerous realationships, lasting anywhere from a week to 10 months. I matured very, very fast too. I have learned about all kinds of guys during that time, and I don't trust ANYONE now.I am currently in a serious relationship with a guy in his late 20s. He treats me so good. Never says a bad word to me. He says he's still shocked at how I am so mature for my age and says he's never met anyone as "real" as me before. The thing is, we can't go anywhere together. And I'm tired of letting good guys who're interested have to pass me up because my parents don't know me and think I don't know anything. I'm not saying I know it all, but I have been a street girl, and I know what it's like. i don't want that. I'm ready to settle down with one person. No cheating. And my age is what everyone looks at. Tonight I couldn't even go to a fair because "I'm too young to be out at night with 3 other girls." My parents don't know me. They don't know ANY of the things I have been through. I want to know how I can tell my parents that I feel too sheltered? It's not just that. My parents don't seem to understand that if they get me a cell phone, then they can stay in touch with me no matter where I am. They always try to keep me home. They won't even let me go to a high school dance, and I'm going there now. How can i tell them that age is anything but a number, and it's my maturity that counts? I'm sorry you had to read all that, but my life is getting very miserable, and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking a counselor...but I don't know. Please help and thank you.
oh, and sorry if you misunderstand the part where I say i can't go anywhere with the guy in his 20s. I know why I can't go anywhere with him, it's illegal, but I can't go ANYWHERE with any boy, no matter what age. Many, many, endless scores of boys have asked me out to skating rinks and bowling alleys and three asked me out to the fair tonight. But I can't go because I'm "13".
Thanks again.
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The thing is... you ARE only 13. Like it or not, that IS how old you are. And while you truly believe that you are more mature, well... I'm not convinced. There's more to maturity than "experience" as you list it...
What you seem to not have is any level of trust established between you and your parents. And honestly, you're not going to get anywhere until you have some ability for them to trust you. And from what you've said, gaining that trust is likely going to be really, really hard, because were they to know the various things you make mention of here, there's no way in hell they'll trust you. Seriously... either that, or they know more than you think they know, and that's why they seem to shelter you. Don't be surprised if you have few secrets from your parents...
Either way, I think seeing a counselor would probably be an excellent idea, as I highly doubt my opinions will really be able to sway you, or make you understand. Also, I'm certainly not intimate with your situation, nor do I really know you, so all I have to go by is what you've typed here, and I could be reading your tone wrong - I could be getting entirely the wrong impression. I mean, it really does sound like you need to seek some professional help to try to get some of your life straightened out.
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