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Hey everyone! My name is Jessi and I'm 15/f/IL. I've always been excellent at giving advice...or so I've been told by my friends. So you can ask me anything and everything...although I have a rather special talent for makeup emergencies (considering my mom sells it) and for dealing with affairs of the heart. (Some of my friends automatically come to me for boy problems.)
And, without further ado...my advice column!

advice

A little less then two months ago I found out my cousin was raped and i've been having some trouble dealing with it.I'm really close to this cousin , she's liek my best friend.when i first found out i just started crying , i couldnt even look at anyone for a copuple days.That i had to cry myself to sleep.i used to live in a house with her in when i was younger,i lived on the bottom and she lived on the top.Whenever i think about her and her baby i cant help but cry and its so hard for me to look at her without crying.I cant help but think maybe if i hadnt moved away i would have been with her and i could have stopped the jerk who did this to her.I seem to be the only person in my family who thinks she can finish high school and still take care of her baby.i mean its her family thier supose to be supportive of her.She was raped when she was 14 and had her baby when she was 15.She was born about 3weeks ago.I still cant help but worry about her and feel like i could have done something and i should tell my parents to be more supportive of her and stop thinking so negative.I couldnt even talk to my best friend about this w/o feeling stupid so if anyone has any advice for me, please send it.

I can understand that you would have a hard time dealing with something this big. It is really huge when someone so close to you that you love so much is hurt so badly like this. I'm not going to lie about how it isn't so bad, because, to be blunt, yeah, it sucks. Big time.

But really, you have to ask yourself this: could you really have stopped the "jerk" who raped your cousin if you had still been living with her? To be honest...probably not. You might have been at a friend's house that night, out of town, etc, etc.

I don't always like to bring God into this, because a lot of people get offended when religion is mentioned. But I am going to offer my views from a religious point of view, to see if they help you at all.

I have always believe that everything is predestined, that God knows what is going to happen. And this does not affect free choice; God just already knows what decisions you will be making. I also have always believed that God favors each and every one of us by giving us each different gifts to further His kingdom.

I do not want to call your cousin's rape a gift. But maybe the baby is a gift. Maybe raising this child will change her life, for the better. Maybe it will open up things to her she has never known, like a love so big it cannot be broken. And she can use this knowledge to further God's kingdom.

Also, remember that you are not the only one who cares for her. I am sure that your parents love her very much, and that she is getting a lot of support right now. But maybe high school just really isn't a good idea, what with her new baby. Going to school, dealing with social problems, homework, pressure from teachers...add having a baby to the mix, and it is just way too much. You're right that she could probably finish out high school, but it might be too much stress on her. Taking time off might be a good thing.

As always, remember that everything will be okay, as long as you do what's right by you.

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(Rating: 3) Thanks for your advice but you kinda mixed me up, on this.My cousin wants to finish school so she can get a job to support her baby.I'm pretty religous but i'm not sure if god has everything planned out for us.It's definatly something to tihnk about though.
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