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January 23, 2007Answers:
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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
I know this may sound dumb, but I was wondering if a stainless steel ring would turn your finger green? I know that some jewelry does that... I just didn't know if stainless steel was one of them. My boyfriend and I are getting eachother rings for Valentine's Day. Nothing expensive, just like 40-60 dollars. The ones I have found are stainless steel, so I wanted to make sure that wasn't a bad idea.
It is still possible to turn your finger green. You can prevent this by not wearing the rings while showering or washing your hands.
Another trick I like to do is I put clear nail polish on the ring. Then you won't have to worry about it staining your finger. You'll have to reply it every few months, but it works great. :)
Well im a very sensitive person . just the littlest , tinyest things can set off my emotions and make me cry , being yelled at , someone say a certain thing to me , just anything . No im not an emo im 99% happy most of the time , its just the smallest things hurt my feelings . How do i control this or , like " not care " so much ?
When you feel yourself starting to get upset, stop and think: "Is this going to matter one year from now? Is this as big of a deal as it seems?"
I'm sure you'll find that 90% of the things that upset aren't even worth your time or emotions. If you stop and think about that before you let yourself get upset, I'm sure you can prevent those tears.
is it normal that whenever my boyfriend touches me it makes me feel my heartbeat in my crotch? it also makes my bra feel really tight.. and i don't know why.
A) is that normal?
B) why does that happen?
C) what does it mean when that happens?
A) That is perfectly normal.
B) It happens because you are sexually arouse. The throbbing you feel is all the blood rushing to those sensitive areas.
C) All it means is he's turning you on.
im 16/f and my friend is also the same. Well last year, she went on a diet, and lost weight, and she looked good. But we were close then, so I couldnt tell you how much she lost. Well this year, we're close, and she went on a diet. Before then, she gained about 5 lbs since summerish. Shes about 5'1 and she has a stomach, but she pulls it off. Well like I said, she went on a diet. She was like 140-145, like me, but I;m 5'5. Shes done to 135. The diet she went on was the 1000 cal. diet. In my class we were talking about diets and my teacher said thats a very bad diet. Like super bad. Well her goal was 135, and shes a pound under, and now she wants to be 130. Does it seem like she has an eating disorder? She says she doesnt care about the weight, but the look. But to me, it seems like shes caring more about the weight then look.
Now I;m 5'4-5'5 and 145lbs, and I'm happy with it, bc I look sooo much smaller then what I weigh. She looks great! but I'm starting to think that maybe she has an eating disorder?
My questions
Does going on a 1000 cal. diet mean that she has an eating disorder? & What do you guys think I/she should do? thanks!
The best thing you can do for your friend is express your concerns to her. Tell her you're worried about her health and you don't think it's safe for her to lose anymore weight. If she gets angry and pushes you away, it would be a good idea to let an adult you trust know what she is doing to herself. The good thing is that she is still eating each day, but I personally think that a 1000 calorie diet is not healthy at all. It sounds like she is starting to get super obsessed with losing weight. I would definitely express your concern to your friend and then use your best judgment. Based on her reaction, you may or may not want to let an adult that can help her know.
about 2 month ago, i was 3 month pregant, and i lost it, i don't understand why? before i got pregant i use drugs, drinking beer etc, then i got pregant i stopped doing it, so i lost baby cause from the past i doing drugs and beer? while I'm pregant, i eat alot, good heathly, doing good.
While drugs and alcohol can have serious effects on a baby, you need to remember that miscarriages can happen at any time for what seems like no reason at all. I am so very sorry for your loss.
In the future, if you plan on becoming pregnant, cut down your use of drugs and alcohol BEFORE you get pregnant so you know the baby will be healthy. Obviously, if you don't know you're pregnant, there is not much you can do about it. The best way to make sure your baby will develop safely is to plan the pregnancy and your health choices accordingly.
I'm always in a good mood. i'm always smiling when people say something to me, and people always ask me why i'm always smiling. I don't have a excuse, it's just a reaction. I don't smile unless somebody say something to me, other than that i'm calm or sometime 'mean mugging' as i say. But can you be too positive all the time?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a positive attitude! If anything, you're positiveness will affect other people in really good ways. You'd be surprised how smiling at a random person can make their day that much better. If someone asks you why you're smiling so much, just shrug it off and keep doing what you're doing.
Who likes people that sulk around all the time and act like the world sucks? Psht. Nobody!
I have a very big problem. I have a MEAN band director. I want to quit, but don't want to. What should I do?
This depends on how much you love band, or rather how much you don't.
If you truly love marching band and it makes you happy, don't quit just because your director is a jerk. If marching band really isn't a big deal to you, then by all means quit and join another activity.
If you decide to stay in marching band, it would be a good idea to ask to speak with your director about some of the things he does. You can be perfectly mature about it and calm. If it would make you feel better, talk to your principal, or another school adult you trust, and ask that they be present when you talk to your director. Tell him why some of the things he does upsets you. Offer him suggestions you think he should do in order to be more fair to the band. As long as you talk about the bands' interests as a WHOLE, he has to listen to what you have to say.
whats that one song that they sing, where at the beginning, they kinda do like a witch type laugh. then later in the song they are like "let me tell you now, we've got prices to pay alright" and i've tried looking it up on google, but nothing showed up. and i can't remember the name. Could someone help me out with that?
The song is "Larger Than Life" I do believe the person below me is mistaken.
Golly I miss the Backstreet Boys!
For a class I am opening up a pretend business and i can't decide whether i want a dance studio or a day care. Which would be more one.. I want your opinion... because i am torn (not what you think is best for me)
I think opening a dance studio would be easier because the equipment you would have to purchase for the business would last longer and you won't have to keep replenishing supplies months after month. For example, in a day care, you need diapers, food, toys, jungle gym things, books, etc. For a dance studio, you still need a lot of stuff, but you don't need to buy a new mirrors every month, know what I mean?
I got my Cartilage peirced at piercing pagoda in Florida in july 2007. I have tryed to take it out multiple times to change it but it closes up in a few seconds. The earing i was given was big and bulky and gave me a puss pocket on the back of my ear everyone that has had there ear pierced said that they got one but it went away. My has not went iaway it is now February 2008. My ear has so much throbbing I try not to sleep on it but it is hard and i usually end up doing it anyways. SHould i pop the puss pocket? Take out my earring and let it close? Please help i don't know what to do. I payed 40$ to get it done but if its infected thats 40$ wasted.
I HIGHLY recommend seeing a doctor about this ASAP. If you try to get rid of the infection yourself, it is quite possible that you will permanently deform your ear. Have a doctor clean it up for you and he/she will give proper treatment to deal with the rejected piercing.
At this point, it is definitely best to take the earring out and let it closed. It is quite possible that the place you got it pierced did not use properly sterilized tools.
For your safety, see a doctor.
so i always do ask her whether she wants me to do something or not, i never just go for it, is that good? Should i change that in any way or just keep going as i do?
You need to establish if she wants you to do things or not BEFORE you start making out/ whatever you guys do. That way things will go smoothly when you two hook up.
has anyone tried these? do they work? will hair grow back worse? or grow back at all? also, how much do they cost and what brand would you recommend?
I have one. I usually use it for my eyebrows. It does work very well as long as it's kept clean. Usually the hair does grow back worse, but as long as you add it to your everyday routine it shouldn't be a problem.
I wouldn't recommend using them for anything other than facial hair (i.e. bikini link, legs) because it would take forever and it usually doesn't clip the hair all the way to the root.
Here is a brand I would recommend:
http://www.asseenontvguys.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=69
in college can you still subscribe to magazines? do you get your own mailbox? how does that all work?
Oh yes. You get your own mailbox on campus. I'm not sure about other colleges (If you wanted, you could research the one you're going to), but at my college all the mailboxes are at the front desk of the dorm. You can open your mailbox with your room key.
When you get all your housing information, they will give you your new address that you can send to your magazine subscriptions.
:-)
I like a guy. Im pretty sure he dosen't like me.
therefore i don't think ill get anything from him on vday. sob. there is a guy who likes me and something might come from him on vday. since i don't like him do i keep the gift?
Don't give the gift back, but when he gives it to you, say something like "Aww thanks! You're such a thoughtful FRIEND." Maybe he'll get the hint. If you make it clear that you are only friends, the other guy won't be able to think you're together now will he?
16/f
i used to be friends with this kid back in like elementary school and kindegarten and stuff. well in about 2nd grade he moved halfway across the country. then over the summer he came into the resteraunt i work at with his sister and i was his waiter but i didn't think it was him. he looked at me like he kind of knew me but i didn't want to take the chance and start talking to someone who possibly had no idea who i was. anyway about two weeks ago he moved back and i know its him this time because i remembered his name. we're in the same grade but i have no classes with him except for lunch. by the way, he's very hot now. so while im sitting in lunch i'll look over at him and he's always looking at me. i think he remembers me but we weren't best friends or anything so im not sure. i really want to talk to him but he always sits with kids i dont know at lunch and when the bell rings he's out of the cafeteria so fast i could never catch up to him. i really really like him and i've overheard some of his conversations and we like so many of the same things he's like the male equivelant of me. i can't explain the connection i feel with him when we're staring in each others eyes from across the room.
how can i get to know a guy who i never get to see or talk to?!!
Casually bump into him in the hallway and say, "I'm sorry. This is totally random, but you look SOO familiar! Didn't we go to elementary school together or something?"
And take it from there. Breaking the ice is the worst part. Once you initiate conversation, you have an excuse to say hello in the halls. Talk with him in between class. And maybe eventually ask him out to the movies. :-)
Even if he doesn't recognize you, he obviously thinks you're cute because he stares at you all the time. There's no harm in asking if you know if from somewhere.
Ok, so I read your response, I liked it the most so I'm still wondering, should I ask her to let me know when shes ready? I'm comfortable talking about it but afraid of her response being negative or just no real answer, and if i did bring it up what should i start with and what should i say, i think I know, but at the same time I want to be sure that what I think is right. Thats why just asking her to let me know when shes ready seems like the best way to go. Shes told me many times to not ask if something feels good and that she'll tell me if she doesnt want me to do it. Or what if i just took a different advice columns opinion and, start by kissing then rubbing the thigh then rubbing the chest then ask if she wants me to go lower and response depending go from there.
Any advice would be great and I thank you for it.
A good way to start would be to say something like this. Feel free to fill in the blanks or whatever this is just my suggestion.
"I really like being with you. When we're together, I feel [BLANK]. And it is because I feel this way, and because I respect you, that I am bringing this up. I think that since we're starting to get more and more intimate, we should talk about things that both of us want. I want you to tell me because I don't want to go to far and make you feel uncomfortable. Do you agree?"
I don't think that "just going with it" when you two are hooking up is a good idea. It should all just happen with having to stop and be like "Is it okay if I go do this?"
If you talk with her about it first, I promise it will be much more enjoyable because you won't have this constant doubt it your head that you're going too far.
16/f with my first bf (he's 15, five months younger than me)
well, he's really REALLY experienced...I mean, this guy's been in relationships for like 10 years lol
well, I'm not into hookups. I'm into a really...passionate relationship. like, very loving.
we've been going out for 23 days.
and he's already grabbing at my crotch and feeling me up.
i mean, i like it and all. it's like fine...whatever.
but when he does sexual things like that, i feel really embarrassed. and he even QUESTIONS me after...like....why did you yell, you didn't like it?
sometimes he slowly forces things on me. like, he went up my shirt and onto my bra, and started touching me there. it's not that it feels uncomfortable..im just afraid he thinks I'm easy and he's using advantage of me. I'm a really shy/sensitive girl...and i'm also nice. so I don't want him to think I'm easy..
we're already makiing out, and I just feel like its too soon to be doing it. and he tells me he loves me ...
and he always tells me that he'd love to make love to me one day, and that he has dreams about giving me oral sex. I feel so awkward. He expects me to promise sexual things in the future..towards him.
I'm scared, really.
But I like him a lot. Its just that I'm not experienced so I don't know how to tell 'bad' guys from good.
Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. I don't want to end up being raped :(
This guy is definitely pushing the limit. You tell him that he either needs to slow down or you're gone! Don't you dare let him push you around like that! Like you said, it's only been 23 days. It's WAY to soon to be getting that physical, especially since it's making you feel uncomfortable! Stand up for yourself and don't let him push you around.
I highly doubt this guy "loves" you. At least not yet anyway. Tell him you're NOT interested in a relationship that's all about being physical. If he has a problem with that, tell him there are plenty of trashy girls he can hook up with.
You are better than this. What he is doing to you is NOT fine.
I have dark brown hair, and want to dye it red,
all i'm really wondering is - what's your favorite box hair dye brand? what do you recommend?
thanks (:
Clairol "Natural Instincts" in Cinnaberry.
It's a wash out color, but it stays in for a good month and a half. It's beautiful and it's SAFE for your hair. I always recommend the wash-out brand because that way you will know if you like it or not.
I'm 17 and my girlfriend is 15 turning 16 soon, We've been together a several months now, we plan to be tgether for a LONG time. So everytime we are making out or anything and i go to move further, (fingering her or gttting her hand down my pants)i dont know whether to be direct and ask her if she want me to finger her or for her to rub me. Would girls rather i ask them before i do, or wait till i do it for a "dont do that"? I've rubbed around her vaginal area before but never gone inside, I asked if she wanted me to just rub above and she said yes..then after i went to go back down and she told me not to, she hurt her leg recently and so i asked if it was because it was hurting or whether she didnt want me to...she said both. *****Should i ask her "Do you want me to keep asking you if you want me to or do you want to tell me when your ready for me to do that?" just to see what she says?*****
I think it would be best to talk to your girlfriend. It's a good idea for the two of you to talk about both of your wants and needs. That way, both of you will be satisfied, no one will be uncomfortable, and there won't be any accidents. Just talk to her about it. It's important that you do if you want to be intimate with her.
is it normal or okay to have to wear a tampon bc the discharge is so heavy??
Due to the dangers of TS, it is highly unwise to wear a tampon while you are not on your period. If you are having a lot of discharge, and you feel the need to have protection, wear a small pad or panty liner. It's a lot safer than wearing a tampon.