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Furthering Releations
I'm 17 and my girlfriend is 15 turning 16 soon, We've been together a several months now, we plan to be tgether for a LONG time. So everytime we are making out or anything and i go to move further, (fingering her or gttting her hand down my pants)i dont know whether to be direct and ask her if she want me to finger her or for her to rub me. Would girls rather i ask them before i do, or wait till i do it for a "dont do that"? I've rubbed around her vaginal area before but never gone inside, I asked if she wanted me to just rub above and she said yes..then after i went to go back down and she told me not to, she hurt her leg recently and so i asked if it was because it was hurting or whether she didnt want me to...she said both. *****Should i ask her "Do you want me to keep asking you if you want me to or do you want to tell me when your ready for me to do that?" just to see what she says?*****
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you should definetly ask her cuz if you just go for it and she dont say anything it could mean that shes too shy to tell you to stop or doesnt wana make you feel bad.It could also means shess cool with it but i still think you should ask just to make sure her feelings don get hurt later on.
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I see no reason, however uncomfortable for you, to sit her down in a non-sexual situation and say that you'd really like to know where she stands on all things sexual. Explain to her that by participating in sexual things the two of you have decided to be adult about your relationship and therefore you must sit and talk like adults too. It's nothing to be embarassed about and she may answer that she doesn't know and that her thoughts on that matter change from day to day. That is OK too! This is a wonderful time of change, experience, exploration, and for you two COMMUNICATION. Be adult about it and face the situation head on. It will foster a more meaningful relationship for you two if you're able to handle this camly and obtain a clear resolution.
Keep in mind, she may be so uncomfortable that she blows up at you and causes a scene just to avoid the conversation. If this happens don't buy into it, just back out of the conversation for now and understand that she's obviously not ready to be adult about the situation which means she's not ready for things sexual either. If this happens I suggest that you reevaluate your relationship.
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I think it would be best to talk to your girlfriend. It's a good idea for the two of you to talk about both of your wants and needs. That way, both of you will be satisfied, no one will be uncomfortable, and there won't be any accidents. Just talk to her about it. It's important that you do if you want to be intimate with her.
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