I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 50043
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Xenolan
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Okay, there are these guys in my bio class... they beat on me. mainly this one guy... and at one point, they kicked my ankle, and now its swollen and has a weird angle to it. I think it might be sprained. The other day, I was worried about hitting my head, and cracking it open from the force of the kicking/hitting/shoving.
anyway, I'm really sick of dealing with them. Is there a quick and painless way to kill myself, without overdosing? I'm not scared of cosmetic pain, because I used to cut all the time, though I was trying to stop. So any method you can think of??? (link)
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Where is the teacher when all of this abuse is happening? Before you decide to give up, you should try to get help. Go to your teacher, the principal, or a school counselor and let them know that you're being bullied to the point that you're ready to end your life. I hope and believe that they have the power and motivation to turn things around for you. Bullying is what leads to things like suicide and mass shootings and schools should be very aware that in order to keep these things from happening they have to end the culture of bullying.
I ask you not to take any steps to end your life at this point. Just try to hold on until Monday when you can talk to someone at school. Even if that doesn't fix it, summer is coming in a few weeks and you won't have to see those kids, right? Talk to your parents. Maybe you could go to a different school or there may be other options for you. The bullying is a temporary problem you can get through.
Sabine
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For a LONG time, This guy likes me, and yesturday I just started liking him. He was talking to me and he's like flirting with me and stuff. I just cant stop thinking about this and him. He helped me with my homework, laughed, talked. But then I found out later that he was dating someone by one of my friends. My heart was crushed, and she's like OH YOUR JEALOUS. But really I didnt want to show it but I kind of am. I like him but then again I wonder why am I liking him? Hes not cute, but he has a great personality. The guy I like and the girl (who he is going to prom with) are going to prom today, and I cant go because I'm a sophmore and hes a junior. Which is even weirder is one of my other friends told me that the guy I like doesnt even want to go to prom with that girl. HE wants to go with me. But yea so proms tonight and Im wishing I can go. But I cant so any ideas how I should feel better about this?
(link)
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Oh, dear. If you liked him and wanted him to invite you to prom, the time to say something would have been about February. Right now he may like you, but he's already obligated to this other girl who has probably bought a dress, is right now having her hair and nails done, may have hired a limo and had dinner reservations, etc. He can't dump her just because a cute new girl flirted with him. So that's just the way things go, dear. Next year you'll be able to go and have fun. Maybe you'll even be able to go as a couple who've been together for a year at that point. But it's just too late for him to change his mind about the other girl right now and you just can't expect otherwise. To feel better, find a friend or a few, and if your parents allow, have a girls' night and sleepover with movies (scary, romantic, whatever) or do something else to keep your mind off prom and your guy-interest.
Sabine
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Ok, during lunch we have a friend, and she always goes over to these guys table. She eats her lunch at our table then leaves so she doesnt have to eat it over ther. our table is really getting fed up with it, and she just doesnt get the hint. She claims that were her best friends and that shes there friends too, but i swear there isnt one day when she hasnt sat at our table for about 5 min then leaves and we dont see her til end of the day. when ever we bring it up she gets all defensive and stuff. The lunch lady even got after her for switching tables everyday, my friend was so embarrassed she started crying, yet that just diddnt seem to be enough so she still goes over there. Gosh cant she get a clue aobut this? what should we say to her to let her know that these guys prolly dont even want her over there nemore. ugh thxxx (link)
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Well, where she sits is not your problem, really. She can sit wherever she wants and you and your friends should not be jealous or posessive of her. Why don't you ask her to sit with your table every other day and let her be a social butterfly and sit with other people other days. If you're really her friend, you won't tell her she can't be friends with other people as well.
Sabine
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prom is tonight.
my period ended a couple of days ago, if i decide to have sex will this increase my chances of getting pregnant?
If i do decide to have sex is there something i can take to prevent from getting pregnant like the next morning?
I heard something called the after pill?? what is this? & if this works, do i need a parent to come with me to buy one?
thanks! (link)
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Listen, I'm completely pro-choice, but you need to know that the morning after pill is ONLY for emergency contraception, like if something happens you don't intend to (you get drunk, etc) or if the condom breaks or you realize later that you messed up on your pills. Morning after pills are not to be used as your first line of defense against unintended pregnancy.
Neither are they sperm-killers. They are a higher dose of the same hormones your body produces naturally and which are in birth control pills. For that reason, they can cause the same risks as birth control pills, only about 5 X higher over time. One of those risks is blood clots and those can be fatal. Because I have that type of account, I can see you're registered as a 15-year-old girl. I don't know whether you can even get morning-after pills without your parents' permission and a doctor's prescription. In addition, one pill costs about $50 and not all pharmacists carry them. It's called Plan B. That being said, the answers to the rest of your questions are that you are in the beginning of your menstrual cycle and will likely be ovulating in about a week, give or take a few days. You are probably not at your most fertile right now, based upon when your period ended. It is too late to start regular birth control pills and be covered for tonight. When doctors put a woman on birth control, they usually tell her to use an additional form of contraception either for 2 weeks or until she starts her second pack (depending on the doc). Other things you can and should use are condoms with spermicidal lubricant, spermicidal gels, foams, films, or vaginal suppositories. Those things are available in the pharmacy section of your local grocery store. They are usually locked up (here in Texas anyway) and you have to ask the pharmacist to get them for you.
Whatever you decide, it's great that you're taking responsibility for yourself and not relying on the man to furnish the birth control. It's your life which will be affected more if you do get pregnant.
Best of luck to you,
Sabine
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ok so whenever i even get a TINY bit hot my arm pits get sweaty and leave marks on my shirt and its sooo embarecing i can never lift my arms or else people will see. i use plenty of deoderant but it doesnt seem to be helping at all. even if im not that hot it still happens. i hate it! any help??? (link)
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There's a type of Secret I've seen advertized called Secret Clinical Strength. Here's a link to a website for a free sample:
https://secretclinicalstrength.offerprocessingcenter.com/
Offer.aspx
(sorry, you'll have to reassemble the link.)
I hope that helps.
Sabine
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My gynecologist said that I have high blood pressure. I think that the only reason that when they take my blood pressure it's high is because I'm nervous. Anytime I go to a doctor, I get nervous, and I can tell that my blood pressure is up (I can feel that my heart is pumping faster). Anywho, how can I calm down whenever they take my blood pressure so they can get an accurate reading? (link)
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That's pretty common. A lot of people get high blood pressure when they're in the doctor's office. It's called White Coat Syndrome. What you can do is get/borrow a blood pressure machine and take your blood pressure at home every day. If it's normal, then you can tell your doctor that it's normal at home and what she's seeing is just White Coat Syndrome. That's important because if you don't have high blood pressure usually, you don't want that on your medical record.
By the way, the things at the grocery store are not reliable, but you can buy a blood pressure machine for about $30 at Walgreen's or less for a manually-operated one. Your doctor also may have a machine she can let you borrow. Alternately, she may let you sit quietly in a room for five minutes and then just push the button to take your blood pressure again with no one in the room to see if you can get a better reading.
Sabine (the voice of experience)
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i have constant suicide thoughts and know i must be checked into a hospital i went to crisiskids.com or whatev. and they didnt understand im seriously considering this. im 13 years old, female. i feel like im not wanted here, and no one even cares anymore. i constantly fight with my mother and father and sisters. how can i get the medical help i need before i seriosly kill myself. (link)
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Okay, I feel like some of the advice you've been given is great and some of it is misinformation. If you went to a hospital for what they call suicidal ideation, you would likely be admitted and have a physical and bloodwork done. Then you'd be monitored for about 72 hours to get a diagnosis and start medication if needed. You would not be put into a straightjacket unless you were an immediate threat to yourself or others and you couldn't calm yourself down. It's not like that at a mental health facility. You might be on a ward with locked doors. You would likely have a room with a roommate who might have the same problem or a different problem such as an eating disorder. You could have friends and family visit you if your doctor said it was a good idea. You would likely get treatment there and start a plan of outpatient treatment with medication, supervision, and therapy for both you and likely your family.
If you are serious about killing yourself, go to the school counselor's office and don't leave until you are seen. If someone tries to make you leave, tell them that you need to speak with a counselor right then and that it's a matter of life and death. Be honest with the school counselor about your thoughts, how many times a day you feel like you should commit suicide, what methods you have thought of, any steps you have taken (like stockpiling razor blades or picking out a place to hang yourself). Let them know if you've picked out a specific date. The more details of your plan you share, the more seriously a counselor is likely to take you. If the counselor tells your parents you need help and your parents do not get it, social services might be of assistance. The suicide hotline mentioned below is a great resource as well.
I know that if you were able to just cheer up and look at the bright side of life, you would. Most of us don't like being miserable. You need help beyond what a smiley-face emoticon can give. You have given yourself a great gift by deciding you want to live and get this worked out. Keep trying until someone listens!
Sabine
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i accidentally left a light sized tampon in from 7:30am to 6pm....i forgot i had my period....i just felt this sharp pain in my left side like a cramp and then a pain in my shoulder like a pinch but really strong. then when i took the tampon out it started to go away. were the pains related to leaving the tampon in or was it just some strange coincidence? (link)
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It was probably just coincidence. I'd take Tylenol or Ibuprofen if it's a problem. What you can get with tampons is Toxic Shock Syndrome:
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/infections/bacterial_viral/
toxic_shock.html
You don't have the main symptoms which are weakness, high fever, diarrhea, headache, and muscle aches.
Just keep track of how you're feeling tonight and tomorrow. I don't think the two things are related.
If you still feel lousy tomorrow, you should reassess to find out whether you need to be seen by a doc. And remember 4 hours is the safety limit for leaving a tampon in. We all forget once in a while.
Sabine
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why is my period brown? i started my period about 5 months ago and this is the first time its brown? whats happening to me? (link)
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Brown is the color the menstrual fluid turns when it's old. Usually you get brown in either the beginning, when the uterine lining has been sitting there for a while and in the end when it's all shed and is ready to come out. It's just oxidation of the blood and tissue. Nothing to worry about.
Sabine
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Has anyone here ever built a brick patio? I'm looking at putting one in my back yard, and I've never done it before, so I want to know what I might be getting into. I've got a book from Home Depot that's very useful insofar as step-by-step instructions and basic information, but what it's missing is a list of all that can go wrong. When it comes down to it, what I'm really wondering is whether it's in my best interest to try and tackle the project by myself, or hire a contractor for some or all of it.
Personal stories about home improvement nightmares in general are welcome - they might help me to know what to avoid! (link)
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I haven't done this, but my darling husband is going to. I'll ask him for tips after he's done and we'll let you know how it goes.
Love,
Sabine
Edit: Thanks for your rating and reply. Why do you think I signed it "Love"? If you look through my column, you will find that I have never done that before.
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About how many calories are in a 6 inch sandwich from Subway that is turkey on white bread with only a packet of mayonaisse?
random i know..thank you though lol... (link)
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You could have easily found this with a Google search for Subway. Here's what I found:
http://www.subway.com/applications/NutritionInfo/
nutritionlist.aspx?id=sandwich
The 6" turkey breast is 280 calories. 1 tablespoon of mayo adds 110 calories.
Sabine
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me and my b/f are 15/16 and we are totally commited to each other and we want to have sex but we are scared because we don't know how
So my 1st question is
1.) How do you know when your ready?
2.)How do you give a guy a blowjob that makes him wanna scream? (link)
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How do you know when you're ready? Well, there's no objective criterion. You just tend to know. One sign is that you don't have to sneak around to do it.
I think you'll have a hard time getting anyone on this site to tell a fifteen-year-old how to give a blow job. You can find it on your own, but I don't think it's ethical to give a minor instructions in sex.
Sabine
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My body temp is always around 96.7 when it's supposed to be 98.6. My body temperature has never been normal! Is my body temp. considered low and can it affect my health in any way? Also WHY is it so low?
I`m really scared =). (link)
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Normal is what's normal for you and there's a whole range of temps that work for different people. However, if you feel cold, as previous advisors have said, you should make an appointment with a doctor to make sure you're not anemic, diabetic, or hypothyroid.
Sabine
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for english, we had to write a reflective essay on 10 minutes of our life. usually, we do peer editing in class with all of our essays, but this time, we dont have enough time to. this is where you guys and gals come in =p. i would lovee to hear your input on it, good and bad. if theres anything that i should add or take out or change, ect. let me know. and also if you see any comma errors or words spelled incorectly, anything grammar related, please let me know also. thanks a ton!
heres the essay-
I took a deep breath. Pushing off with my right foot, I began down the hill. As I started to build speed, I knew this wasn’t a good idea. Squeezing my eyes shut, I put my foot out on the ground to try to stop myself, but nothing could help me at this point.
I was on the ground before I knew it. Still not sure of what had happened, I looked down at the ground, hoping to see my feet still firmly planted in the same position on my friends skateboard. But this wasn’t the case. A sharp pain suddenly shot through my arms and legs. My whole waist went numb. I couldn’t will myself to get up off the cold, hard pavement. My whole body ached. It felt like there were pins and needles poking into me everywhere. In the distance, I could faintly hear someone’s voice yelling. I soon figured out that it was my friend’s voice, calling out to me. “Kara!” I heard. “Are you ok!? What happened?”
I tried to make since of it all, but it was still a huge blur. “Two arms, two legs, and a head,” I thought. “Alright, I’m ok.” I just needed to get up, hop back on the skateboard, and everything would be fine. Reaching down towards to pavement, I placed my hands, palms down, on the ground to push myself up. As soon as I did this, a surging pain shot through my hands. I quickly withdrew my hands up, like a small child touching a hot oven for the first time. Sneaking a quick peek at my palms revealed a crimson red that left me feeling nauseated.
The fact that my friends brand new skateboard, his prized possession, was nowhere in sight suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. This realization momentarily made the pain I had been feeling fade. Frantically, I surveyed the area, but it was nowhere in sight. Finally pushing myself up from my position on the ground, I began to search more thoroughly. I looked in every possible place I could think of, but still nothing. The skateboard was nowhere to be found. Just as I started loosing hope, my friend came running up from behind my neighbor’s car, with his skateboard tucked safely under his arm. I don’t think I had ever been as relieved as I was that moment.
This feeling was quickly washed away, though, as pain sharply reminded me what had just happened. I then hobbled up the monstrous hill that I had just taken a tumble down, and retreated into the safe warmth of my house.
I think it is safe to say I’m not the best skateboarder in the world, but everyone takes a fall or two when learning something new. If I try to see myself skateboarding again in the near future, it sends shivers up and down my spine, although I definitely want to try again someday. “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.”
thanks again everyone! i really appreciate it. (link)
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I took a deep breath. Pushing off with my right foot, I began down the hill.
( I like the way you start out by setting up the scene and giving the reader access to your thoughts and your senses - what you are seeing and feeling.)
I put my foot out on the ground to try to stop myself, but nothing could help me at this point.
(Since the rest of your piece is in past tense, I think you should say "at that point")
“Kara!” I heard. “Are you ok!? What happened?
(Using two punctuation marks is not standard grammar and my not be well-received by your teacher. It depends on how formal the class is.)
I tried to make since
(sense)
s Reaching down towards to pavement,
(toward with no 's' and 'the' rather than 'to')
I quickly withdrew my hands up,
(I think withdrew doesn't go with up well because withdrew means you pulled them out and saying up is giving a different directional cue.)
The fact that my friends
(friend's)
Just as I started loosing hope
(losing)
I think it is safe to say
(You just used safe in the previous sentence. Can you change one to another word?)
If I try to see myself
('when I try' would be a better word choice here)
Good luck
Sabine
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ohkay so i want to get my hair cut REALLY bad.
i want it a short/mediumish. and i want it angled from like my bangs. and kind of emoish. but the thing is i cant find a picture with that hair. cause i want to show my hairdresser what i want. cause i always get it messed up when i go. any one have a picture for me?! thanks (link)
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You have an idea in your mind, so why not draw it for your hair dresser to see?
Sabine
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ok im a m/15 so i would to no how to actually masterbate do you just rub your penis or do you make like a circle with your hands and go up and down fast?. plz im new to this and would like to no thanxs in advance (link)
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Start with a bottle of lotion and some kleenex. Start touching your penis, testicles, and perineum. Find places that feel good when you touch them. (Without the lotion) use your fingers to stimulate your penis head (the top part). Do whatever feels good. Don't forget to lock the door if you can so you don't get caught and throw away the Kleenex after you come into them.
Most men I know like to rub their penis against their pubic areas in a back and forth motion or they close their fists around the head and shaft of the penis and pump up and down.
Sabine
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ok so im really scared about using a tampon. i know how to use them and i bought one to see how they worked but i didnt pput it in me. i know how you insert them. but how do you know the angle? like it says you slant it. but what way and how far? you know? and also what part of the vagina do you insert it into? theres two holes. theres one at the top which is really small then a long one that leads to the anus i think? not sure? which one? (link)
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Okay, women have three holes down there. Going from the v at the front part of your labia, in the center you will find your clitoris. That is an organ that's very rich in nerve endings. It's covered by a little bit of skin called the clitoral hood. If you go back from there, toward your buttocks, there is a small opening called the urinary meatus. This is where the pee comes out. If you can't find it, put your hand down there and let loose a urine stream. You will get pee on your hand, but you can wash it off, and then you will know where your urine comes from. The next hole back is your vagina. It's the opening to your vaginal canal and your uterus. It may have a membrane called the hymen partially covering the opening and it may seem tiny because of that. Usually, you can get the tampon in without breaking the hymen. Once you get it past the hymen, you just put it in as far as the bottom of the top part of cardboard or plastic while holding the tampon in that place with a thumb and forefinger. Then you use your index finger to push the plunger in and insert the tampon. I'm not sure what angle you'll need except that if your pelvis is straight over your thighs, go straight up and down. If your thighs are in front of your pelvis and you're leaning back, angle the tampon toward the back. But really, once you're in your vagina, the tampon insertion should be very easy. So, farther back from your vagina is your perineum, which is the skin separating the vagina from the anus. Behind that is the anus and I'm sure you're familiar with what that looks like and feels like and what its functions are.
If this is still very hard, please look up female genital anatomy on the web, get a mirror, and compare your anatomy to the drawings. Good luck.
Sabine
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okay, for about a month or two now, i've lost alot of weight for some reason. i don't know why, because i've been eating way more than normal. also, i've been more tired than i am usually & i get tired easier when i'm exercising or something like that. i've had head aches alot of & on the past month too. & for about two weeks, i've been getting these random bruises on my arms & legs, but mainly just my arms. i haven't even done anything to cause them, so i don't have a clue what the heck they're from. any idea what this could be? (link)
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I agree with Isis. This could be anything from 'nothing wrong' to leukemia. You really need to see a doctor to check it out. It's probably not an emergency, but you should go in at your doc's next available appointment. Hopefully, s/he will just be able to do some bloodwork or something and reassure you that it's nothing, but you should go find out.
Sabine
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Is there a way of getting rid of celulite?
xo (link)
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Eating right and exercising will shrink cellulite, but not get rid of it. There is one way to get rid of it : liposuction. The other option is to minimize it with cellulite creams (they do work a bit, but they're temporary). The Jergens one may not work as well as a more expensive brand, but what you want is a high level of the active ingredient. I've never used a cellulite cream (I probably should. ;) ) but the medical journals say they are derived from an old asthma drug called theophylline and they really do work.
Best of luck.
Sabine
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Ok so last year my ex broke up with me. While we were together he lied,cheated, the whole 9. Every since we broke up which was a year ago he tells me he is so sorry for what he did, that he loves me, he misses me, and all kinds of other stuff. I know he has had a few girlfriends since then, and currently has one that on his myspace page he calls her his wife. So why won't he stop the games?? And what can I do to get him to stop?? (link)
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You thank him for his apologies and tell him that you're not interested (or able if it sounds better) in getting back together. Wish him happiness with his 'wife' and girlfriends and then you remove him from your friends, block his messages, delete them, or whatever. You simply don't give him any more of your time. If he's trying to get you back while he has a 'wife' he is showing you that he hasn't changed and can be counted on to behave this way as long as he can get away with it. So don't be a part of it.
Sabine
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